Wanted

Film Frown

Can you bend a bullet like Beckham? Sure you can. Our friend Jen Garcia returns to talk about the misogyny that is Wanted. Grab some peanut butter and rats, forget Tyler Durden, get a robot bullet and listen to Paul’s Morgan Freeman impressions. As Jen described the film, “a back-to-back string of ‘wouldn’t it be cool if’ moments.” Enjoy the show as we audition lots of closing taglines.

Find this frown-y film for your own eyeballs, if you dare.

• The trials and tribulations of finding a domain name not taken are discussed. It reminds us of an old SNL skit

• Paul calls this film The Matrix by Michael Bay.

• The writers of this film wrote the sequel to The Fast and the Furious and 3:10 to Yuma?

• Peter Bradshaw’s spot on review of this film.

• This film was only beat by WALL-E?

• Jen tells us that James McAvoy wasn’t the first choice for the lead.

• Paul says the film is a mix of blood and Thomas the Tank Engine crashing.

• Chris wants to cut Morgan Freeman from this movie into Bruce Almighty.

• Is this movie trying to do callbacks to Office Space and Mimi from The Drew Carey Show.

• This is the gruesome and ‘utterly ridiculous’ scene we keep talking about (a gun through a human head).

• They tried to bend bullets on Mythbusters.

• Hey everyone, the Loom of Fate is just the ASCII code. Huh?

• Why bend bullets when you can shoot around corners with a fancy gun?

• Jen and Chris agree that Crank is a much better ridiculous action film.

• We get into the geopolitics of the climate crisis and fast fashion because of the Loom of Fate.

• Paul suggests that our hero use his powers for good in the office, and bend paper, like in this 80s production logo.

• Paul says this movie is just Tomb Raider 3 for Angelina Jolie.

• The film has a twist within a twist and we wonder if M. Night was a production assistant on this movie.

• Paul hypothesizes that the Loom of Fate uses TC/IP to deliver the names. Jen says you have to unplug the loom and wait 15 seconds before plugging it back in.

• A character missing from the film that was in the graphic novel is someone made of excrement.

• Paul says his brothers went to see this film and all they remembered was Morgan Freeman saying, “Otherwise..”

• Watch A Knight’s Tale instead, says Paul.

• Jen says King Arthur was okay.

• Paul thinks this movie forfeits the Bechdel Test by not even having more than one woman on the screen at any time.

• Paul wanted this film to go full parody like Tropic Thunder.

• We have no idea what “video” Chris wanted to share with Jen and you listeners, so enjoy some Dolph Lundgren facts.

There you have it. A film you should avoid, Unwanted. Thanks to you for tuning in and listening. Thanks to Paul for recording and our amazingly fun and hilarious guest, Jen Garcia! Like a bad sequel, we will be back sooner than expected.

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