How to Recover Intimacy in Marriage After Betrayal and Porn Addiction - with Sandra | Ep. 74

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Throughout their 17 year union, the presence of pornography cast a shadow over Sandra and her husband’s relationship, steadily eroding its foundation. Initially, Sandra dismissed it, swayed by the notion that incorporating porn could add a spark to their connection. However, as time unfolded, she witnessed alarming shifts in her husband's behavior—his inability to heed her pleas for gentleness, defensiveness clouding his responses, emotions spiraling into dramatic extremes, an inability to distinguish between sex and love, and an insistence on using orgasms as a mood-management tool. Caught in a web of lies and betrayal, Sandra recognized the compulsive and addictive nature of her husband's porn consumption.

In this powerful podcast episode, Sandra shares her story of resilience and transformation, recounting how therapy and the Wanting It More model became the catalysts for rebuilding intimacy in their relationship. She delves into their journey of porn recovery, shedding light on the steps they took to recreate their sex life. Sandra explores the intricacies of navigating boundaries, revealing the specific measures she implemented to safeguard her well-being within the relationship. She also shares what their sex life looks like now and how her husband feels about intimacy since recovering from porn addiction.

Resourses: Sandra and her husband used the following resources to help them on their healing journey.

- Helping Couples Heal Podcast (interviews with Stan Tatkin, Omar Minwalla, and Carol Jurgensen Sheets): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/helping-couples-heal-podcast/id1462962051

- Omar Minwalla Deceptive Sexuality & Trauma Resource Library: https://minwallamodel.com/resource-library/We used ERCEM coaches to facilitate our disclosure. ERCEM is

- Carol Jurgensen Sheets Workbooks: https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com/products

- Dan Drake and Janice Caudill’s books to prepare for full therapeutic disclosure and emotional impact statement: https://intensivehope.com/resources/

- SPAA: http://spaa-recovery.org/

- Dr Paula Hall’s TED talk on pornography addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qf2e3XZ8Twhttps://www.paulahall.co.uk/books/

- The TINSA book connects addictive behavior to adverse developmental experiences: https://a.co/d/eYaltET

- Robert Augustus Masters, mature monogamyhttps://www.robertmasters.com/books-audiobooks/

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