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89. Our Agreement To Not “Threaten” Our Relationship

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Manage episode 428406393 series 3407135
Content provided by Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer, Krista Van Derveer, and Dr. Will Van Derveer. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer, Krista Van Derveer, and Dr. Will Van Derveer or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.

Impulsively threatening the relationship when we get triggered, angry, or unable to work through repeating relationship conflicts is an ineffective way of attempting to get our partner to change. It creates insecurity, dysregulation and fear, rather than creating the feelings of safety and security that’s needed to work through difficult relationship challenges together.

Today we discuss the importance of taking more skilled self responsibility in relationships, particularly when it comes to making threats or issuing ultimatums, including effective communication, mutual understanding, and adult behavior in addressing conflicts. In this episode we offer healthier and more constructive alternatives to addressing conflict and ideas on how to deal with a partner who keeps impulsively threatening the relationship.

(00:00) Introduction and definition of threatening the partnership

(02:16) Impact of threats on conversations and relationships

(04:28) Importance of creating safety rather than triggering threat responses

(06:39) Personal example of threatening language and its impact

(15:00) Importance of showing up as an adult during conflicts

(17:19) Advice for those who frequently threaten relationships

(19:35) Taking responsibility and protecting each other in relationships

(22:22) Closing thoughts on working through connection issues together

Feel free to reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform.

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Get in Touch:


Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

  continue reading

94 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 428406393 series 3407135
Content provided by Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer, Krista Van Derveer, and Dr. Will Van Derveer. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer, Krista Van Derveer, and Dr. Will Van Derveer or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.

Impulsively threatening the relationship when we get triggered, angry, or unable to work through repeating relationship conflicts is an ineffective way of attempting to get our partner to change. It creates insecurity, dysregulation and fear, rather than creating the feelings of safety and security that’s needed to work through difficult relationship challenges together.

Today we discuss the importance of taking more skilled self responsibility in relationships, particularly when it comes to making threats or issuing ultimatums, including effective communication, mutual understanding, and adult behavior in addressing conflicts. In this episode we offer healthier and more constructive alternatives to addressing conflict and ideas on how to deal with a partner who keeps impulsively threatening the relationship.

(00:00) Introduction and definition of threatening the partnership

(02:16) Impact of threats on conversations and relationships

(04:28) Importance of creating safety rather than triggering threat responses

(06:39) Personal example of threatening language and its impact

(15:00) Importance of showing up as an adult during conflicts

(17:19) Advice for those who frequently threaten relationships

(19:35) Taking responsibility and protecting each other in relationships

(22:22) Closing thoughts on working through connection issues together

Feel free to reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform.

Resources Mentioned:


Get in Touch:


Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

  continue reading

94 episodes

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