Mandatum: Accompanying a Patient Until the Very End

Cancer Stories: The Art of Oncology

Listen to ASCO’s Journal of Clinical Oncology poem, "Mandatum” by Dr. David Harris, who is an Associate Staff in the Department of Palliative and Supportive Care and Program Director for the Hospice and Palliative Medicine Fellowship at Cleveland Clinic. The poem is followed by an interview with Harris and host Dr. Lidia Schapira. Dr Harris share how his team honors a patient's spirit

TRANSCRIPT

Narrator: Mandatum, by David Harris, MD

Where does the soul reside

in the darkness of the body?

Does it flicker along the highways of nerves

up the spine

up the neck

to the globe of the skull

or does it pulse, a lightening bug

in the vast caverns of our bellies?

The foot was his answer

his left, to be precise.

The cancer mushrooming from his heel

a small price

for a soul.

We told him

he had a choice:

We would take the foot

or this sarcoma would take

all of him.

But when he chose,

we did not understand.

We told him

a hundred times

in a hundred ways.

We told him

he did not understand

could not understand

so could not choose.

He told us

he once walked

all night through the cold to reach us.

“When I die I want to be

whole.”

The foot

where our flesh greets the earth’s

flesh. Where our weight

collects

builds

presses down.

Where else would a soul

want to be

when we slip

bare feet into sand

letting the cool stream

run over?

We washed and wrapped

the foot in white, clean cloth

then unwrapped it, to wash again.

Washing as the cancer grew.

Washing as the soul flickered.

Each day washing. Choosing

what we could not understand.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: Hello and welcome to JCO's Cancer Stories: The Art of Oncology, which features essays and personal reflections from authors exploring their experience in the field of oncology. I am your host, Dr. Lidia Schapira, Professor of Medicine at Stanford University. Today we're joined by Dr. David Harris, Associate Staff in the Department of Palliative and Supportive Care and Program Director for the Hospice and Palliative Medicine Fellowship at Cleveland Clinic. In this episode, we will be discussing his Art of Oncology poem, “Mandatum.”

At the time of this recording, our guest has no disclosures.

David, welcome to our podcast and thank you for joining us.

Dr. David Harris Thank you, Lidia. It's wonderful to be here.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: Let's start by talking a little bit about your process for writing. You're a published author. We've published one of your beautiful poems in the past. This is, I believe, the second time. So tell us a little bit about when you write, why you write, and when you decide to share your writing with others through publications.

Dr. David Harris: I think my writing starts when I have an experience that feels profound and sticks with me, and there's a certain way that feels in my body. I'll leave a room and I'll say, something happened in there. It didn't just happen to the patient, but something happened to me. It'll be one of those moments, and I think we all have these that we keep coming back to, a patient that we keep coming back to, sometimes even a single sentence that somebody said that we keep coming back to. And over time, I've realized that when I have that feeling, there's some poetry there, if I can sit with it. And I spend a lot of time just sitting and thinking about the story and trying to find what pieces of it are meaningful to me, what images are meaningful. And from there, after a long time just sitting and experiencing and listening to myself, then I begin to write, and the writing piece ends up not taking that long. It's much more of the first piece.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: And tell me, why did you choose poetry? Or do you write prose and poetry, and we just happen to be talking about poetry?

Dr. David Harris: I find poetry to be so much easier than prose. One of the things I love about poetry is that so much is left unsaid. And the idea of writing something with a plot and with dialogue and character development, that seems like a real task and a real feat. There are so many different types of poetry, and the poetry that I'm interested in writing just describes a moment. That's all it is, just shares a moment that I think other people might also enjoy. And so that seems simple.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: So, David, help me translate what you just said for our readers. In a way, many people feel that somehow they don't understand poetry, or they're not capable of fully grasping everything the poet maybe intends. Why do you think people have this feeling about poetry, almost, I will compare it here to abstract art? This feeling that somehow you need something else to understand it? Is that real or is that just a perception?

Dr. David Harris: I think that's the real experience for so many people. And maybe a better comparison than art would be music, in that there's pieces of music that I will listen to, and I'll say, I can't understand this, and they might be masterworks of famous composers, but for me, I don't have the ability to access that. And then there are pieces of music that I love, Taylor Swift, that's kind of my speed. And I think that poetry can be like that, too. I think there's poetry that you need training to be able to appreciate and to understand, and then there's poetry where just your human experience is what you need, and you can read it, and whatever it means to you, that's what it means, just like when you listen to a song. The first time I experienced poetry, and I bet this is the case for a lot of the listeners, was in English class, where I got graded on my ability to understand poetry and talk about a way to take the joy out of it is to be evaluated. I guess they probably didn't pick poems that were super easy to understand, because that's not really the point of it. I wonder if a lot of it comes from these experiences we all had in junior high and high school English, reading poetry. I don't think it has to be like that.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: Good. No, I don't think it has to be like that. So let's talk about your beautiful poem here. What inspired the poem? It sounds like this was an encounter with a patient that really moved you and made you question many of our practices. Tell us a little bit about this person.

Dr. David Harris: Yes. This was a person who came to our hospital with a mass on his left heel, a fungating, bleeding mass. And the sarcoma team we have here, the surgeons and the medical oncologists, felt quite confident that it was a sarcoma without even biopsying it. Confident enough that they recommended a resection even before biopsy as a curative approach. And when they shared this with the patient, the patient refused the curative surgery. And the reason that he refused is he said that if we amputated part of his body, his soul would be lost through the amputation. And in medicine, we're not used to talking about souls, or at least my team is not, and we didn't really know what to do with this. This person had a longstanding history of severe schizophrenia, and when our psychiatrist came to evaluate him, they did not think that he had capacity to make decisions. And there were no people in his life that could be a surrogate for him. So he was a patient without a surrogate. And there were so many complex issues that this brought up for us. We were in the uncomfortable position of having to make a choice for a patient, and that's not something that we're used to doing in medicine, and I think that's a very good thing. There was this discomfort of making this life or death choice for this patient. How could we do that? How could we take that responsibility?

Dr. Lidia Schapira: So let's think about this a little bit from at least your perspective as a palliative care doctor who was brought in, I assume that was your role here, right?

Dr. David Harris: Yes.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: Perhaps as an ethicist or palliative care consultant to bring it all together. So maybe the way to think about it, or perhaps if I imagine how you thought about it, was the suffering that this imposed for this person who was right in front of you. You couldn't change him. You couldn't change his mental health. You couldn't change his decision. But somehow you approached him as somebody, perhaps, who is a sufferer, who has a big problem. Tell us a little bit about how you and your team aligned yourself with what the patient wanted or the patient expressed, even though you understood that, from medical legal perspectives, he lacked capacity to decide.

Dr. David Harris: We spent a lot of time with him. We spent a lot of time talking as a group. Our bioethics team, in addition to me and many of our palliative docs were all really involved. One of the things that really played into our thought process was that he did not have a temporary lack of capacity. And this desire not to have the amputation was not temporary. This was permanent. And there wouldn't be a day that he woke up and said, “Thank goodness, you didn't listen to me and you did that amputation.” And the other thing we thought a lot about is how much suffering do we give somebody if they feel they've lost their soul, and how do we quantify that?

Dr. Lidia Schapira: And if we're talking about souls, I can't help but ask you about all of the religious implications here. In your poem, you talk about washing feet. You give the poem a title that evokes a part of a religious liturgy. Can you tell us a little bit about how that theme came into the construction of your poem?

Dr. David Harris: I think that this will sound a little silly, but as I was sitting here with this story and thinking about it, which is a part of my process in writing, I spent a lot of time thinking about feet because that's where his cancer was. And after we chose to not do the surgery and before he passed away, we spent a lot of time wrapping and unwrapping and washing his feet. And what we chose instead of doing the surgery was- that was what we moved towards. What we chose to do was do wound care and wash his feet. One of the things I think a lot about is the mundane actions that we do as physicians, as medical teams, and how significant and profound they can sometimes be. I think one example that many people have talked about and discussed is the physical exam and how it's not just a way for us to listen to the heart, but it's also this ritual. And for him, when I talked to the nurses who were caring for him, the wound care and the washing of his feet became a ritual. And I saw this parallel with what I learned about the washing of the feet that is done in Catholicism. I am not Catholic myself, and it's not something that I have personal familiarity with, but I feel like there are parallels to what we do as physicians in medical care, caring for the body and what other groups do, caring for other parts of humans. And so I saw that parallel there.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: That's beautiful. Now, can you tell us a little bit about the title? I'm sure it's not something that the readers of the Journal of Clinical Oncology often encounter as a heading for an article.

Dr. David Harris: I know, I was so excited. Poets are famous for having a title that doesn't make any sense. So I think one of the things I hope readers associate when they hear that word that they may not know is the word mandate. And when we think about what we do in healthcare, how does the word mandate come into what we do? And for this case, where we determined he had a lack of capacity, where we chose whether he would have surgery or not, how does that word play into the story? And then, in addition, “Mandatum” as sort of a ceremony of washing the feet, and the significance of that as a spiritual ritual and what we did for him as a medical ritual, and the parallels there.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: David, I wonder if, wearing your educator hat as an educator of fellows, you can talk a little bit about how you bring all of this beautiful and complex philosophy of care, of seeing the whole person, of responding to suffering and reflection, or your reflection through poetry and through the arts, how you bring that to your fellows and how you help them to develop some of these greater techniques for their own enjoyment and for their own development.

Dr. David Harris: That's such a wonderful and thought provoking question and something that I've been thinking about so much this year as our new fellows are joining us. The way I bring it into the room when I'm seeing patients is one of the easiest ways to show them, because we will go see patients together, and they can begin to see how learning about the non-medical pieces of a person can change the whole medical interview and the whole interaction between a physician and a patient. And I think that's something that our fellows leave the year with, and also our oncology fellows, when they rotate with us, they've said that one of the things they leave the rotation with is this appreciation for how all parts of a patient are important in their receiving excellent care.

The second thing you were asking is, how do I help fellows in their personal journey inward. And for me, that's been a journey through poetry, and I feel like that's something I'm still trying to understand how to do, because each person has their own way in, and I don't know if writing poetry- I will say, I'm sure that not everyone's way in is going to be writing poetry, and it shouldn't have to be. And so how can I invite my fellows inward on this journey? Show them how I do it, show them how other people in my department have done it, and then also not force them because I don't think that's helpful at all.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: Yeah, and it doesn't work. This has been such an important conversation for me, and I'm sure it'll be very impactful for our listeners. So let me end by asking what you and your team learned from caring for this person.

Dr. David Harris: One of the things that I'm really proud of my team for is how much time and how carefully we approached the situation. And it was not comfortable to make choices for somebody else. And I remember we all got together on a call, and every single person, med student, resident, bioethicist, nurse, physician, they all sort of shared their own thought process about what should happen. And every single person on that call had the same opinion about what to do. And I was proud of my team for that process. This thing that none of us really wanted to do, that at least we did it very carefully.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: That's a beautiful reflection and really speaks to good leadership in the team and also the value of teamwork of feeling that you can- that you're safe and that you can express your views. And I imagine it must have been incredibly difficult. But thank you, David, for writing about it, and thank you for sending us your work.

Dr. David Harris: It was a pleasure talking to you, Lidia.

Dr. Lidia Schapira: And until next time, thank you for listening to JCO's Cancer Stories: The Art of Oncology. Don't forget to give us a rating or review, and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can find all of the ASCO shows at asco.org/podcasts.

The purpose of this podcast is to educate and to inform. This is not a substitute for professional medical care and is not intended for use in the diagnosis or treatment of individual conditions.

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Guest Bio:

Dr. David Harris is an Associate Staff in the Department of Palliative and Supportive Care and Program Director for the Hospice and Palliative Medicine Fellowship at Cleveland Clinic.