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Ask a Sub is an advice podcast for the kink-curious to take themselves from dreaming to doing. Our host Lina Dune is bringing wellness kink to the masses, and equipping every would-be kinkster with the tools to become their own BDSM BFF.
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Bad in Bed

Gabrielle Kassel and Bobby Box

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Bad in Bed: The Queer Sex Podcast is a sex-positive podcast hosted by sex educators and journalists Bobby Box (he/him) and Gabrielle Kassel (she/her). Every week, the two tackle a topic near and dear to their hearts and loins, sharing their (s)experiences and chatting with industry experts. From sex toys, strap-on sex, and fisting, to sexual identity, painful sex, and loose genitals, Bad in Bed is the (queer) sex ed you never had, but always wanted and deserved!
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show series
 
What happens when you’re criss crossing all your red string a la Charlie Day while researching D/s to broaden the scope of your dynamic, but your Dom just won’t click the links you send? Lina talks the three-legged race of a longterm relationship, how the patriarchy doesn’t support men in self improvement, and what to do when you suspect you’re a k…
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This month for pride, join your very own fave bisexual goblin for a wide ranging AMA! That’s right, I answered your q’s in real time just like the old days. Get info about Ask A Sub Office Hours on Patreon or Substack. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe …
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This week, a married couple struggles with the ways D/s sometimes outwardly looks like the oppressive gender roles they were raised with, and have been fighting their whole relationship. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See …
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Lina gives some tender yet protective advice to a 20-year-old sub looking to start their kink journey. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podc…
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R.O. Kwon stopped by the pod this week to talk about her new book Exhibit, a tale about kink, queerness, and what happens when people pursue that which they truly desire. Catch R.O.’s Thirst Inventory here. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby…
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Our Deep Dive guest this month is many things — a kink/rope organizer, an amazing friend, a top-tier emoji-reactor, and a Ask A Sub discord moderator that has been with us since the beginning of the server. Dollie and Lina talk community building and maintenance, and how they curate the best (dare we say??) kink space on the internet. Listen on Pat…
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A sub calls in wondering how to “do” submission right, and Lina shares some wisdom about how to avoid submissive doing and embrace submissive being. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit que…
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Age Play is considered by some to be one of the most taboo kinks out there, but what if it was just cute inner child work? Age play creator Baby Linh joins me to unpack misconceptions about the kink and offer solace to those who feel called toward it. Get the full interview on Patreon for $11/month. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a su…
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Today’s episode is brought to you by our friends at Feeld, the dating app for the curious! The theme of the day is spitting it out - from feelings to actual fluids, comedian Alison Stevenson and Lina have you completely covered. With information. Just information and humor. Unless…? Follow Feeld on Instagram here, or download it using this link. To…
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That’s me in the corner… that’s me in the… somewhat challenging aftercare predicament? A listener calls in about how to engineer proper aftercare in a cucking scene, and Lina reassures them that sometimes it’s ok to experiment with big feelings and occasionally get it wrong. Substack: What We Talk About When We Talk About Cucking To support the pod…
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Bae Leche dropped by the pod to talk about being a non-monogamous mom, dating while pregnant, and new corners of her sexuality she’s discovering in the midst of parenting. Come for the fire pregnancy nudes, stay for the warm-hearted acceptance for wherever you are in your journey. Get the full interview on Patreon for $11/month. To sign up to be no…
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Kink arrives in your life looking like a problem, but it’s really a solution. In this episode, Lina leads a listener through the daunting moment of taking stock of your submissive fantasies with the empathy of somebody a little further down the road. Get your Sub Survival Guide for 20% off at http://www.askasub.com/courses with code AWAKENING To su…
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A listener asks the age-old question of where the line is with public humiliation kinks and involving bystanders, and Lina dives in with things to consider before you go to the grocery store with the f-word written across your forehead. Listen to Lina address the Erewhon incident on Dan Savage’s podcast here. To support the pod and join our thrivin…
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How can you date again after a D/s relationship turns abusive? You start by dating your intuition. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@…
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A listener calls in after someone told them saying they are kinky means they are probably not looking for anything serious. Obviously this is not true, but Lina also had some thoughts on the relationship escalator, community care, and how to see people as individuals in a sex positive context. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub comm…
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I’ve been through some shit lately and wanted to share the ways people have supported me so you can support those in your life who are also going through shit. We will be back to our regular format next week. Love you all. Get my essay about the miscarriage on Patreon or Substack. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kink…
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Disability advocate, sex toy creator, and host of Disability After Dark Andrew Gurza joins us to talk all about non-binary identity, dating while disabled, and how we can improve accessibility in kinky and queer spaces. To get this full episode, go to Patreon or Substack. For that piece of writing I was talking about get it on Patreon or Substack. …
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A sub is concerned that her Dom’s wife is going to veto their dynamic and wonders how she can modify her behavior to make the wife more comfortable. Lina talks about which feelings we have control over (only our own) and how to give yourself grace during liminal times. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket fri…
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So you've got somebody to do 24/7 with - great! Now how the hell do you narrow down all the options and create a bespoke practice just for you? Lina walks a listener through the buffet of options, and helps guide the process of assembling a satisfying D/s plate covered in consent gravy. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community o…
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This week a caller on the autism spectrum and his partner with ADD wonder if there is a link between kink and neurodivergence. Let's talk about it! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit ques…
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Due to unforeseen circumstances (we got COVID), in lieu of this week’s scheduled episode please enjoy this rerun of a season 2 favorite. Lina interviews a listener who got in touch to share the story of her custody battle with her sex-negative ex-husband, and the unexpected win that arrived at the end of her story. To support the pod and join our t…
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First Lina delivers a hot take about how women who sleep with men can become marginalized within kink, then teases out the difference between humiliation and degradation kinks while making fun of dating app bing bongs (as usual). To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month!…
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We’re back! And we’re kicking purity culture in the pants!! Get info about the Friday 1/26 Deep Dive here! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to …
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A sub calls in asking how to make amends for past mistakes. Spoiler alert: you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. Unless you're into that. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Get a year of Patreon for $50 (that's two…
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The words filth and perversion barely begin to scratch the surface of what's on offer in this interview with Empress Wu and her singular penchant for scenes that expand into systems that fuck gender, the body, notions of inside and outside, as well as existence itself. Here in the free preview, we discuss Wu’s journey into pro-Domme work as well as…
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A sub is concerned about sending the wrong message when telling Doms she doesn't have hard limits. What to do? To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos…
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Bisexual polyamorous writer Gab Alexa joins me to discuss bi-erasure, queer baiting, and her spicy time at the infamous swinger’s retreat Hedonism. Join Patreon at $11/month or Substack at $8/month to get the complete interview, as well as access to the archives of interviews with discussions ranging from how to find a sex positive therapist, to ho…
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Hey, it's your real life calling! The one where you're not sleeping on an air mattress in a musty basement bracing yourself to hear your Uncle Jim's conspiracy theories at the dinner table! You -- yes you! -- used to be kinky, and that kinkiness is a superpower! Get 25% off on both Ask A Sub courses with code BOUNDARIES25 at askasub.com/courses. Of…
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A listener wants to know the answer to a so-called googleable question - what the heck is a play party, exactly? Lina answers & gives tips on navigating these experiences once you find the right one. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Submit questions for this pod…
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Get more Folsom info from this pamphlet. Special thanks to Cactus Cult Leather, BunnyLeather.com, Sylvan and Milton, SF K9 Unit, Bay Area Open Minds, The Satanic Temple and everyone who spoke to me at Folsom! Get my full discussion with Alex Kacha on Patreon or Substack. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket f…
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Are you or a loved one affected by Goodest Girl Syndrome, aka the desire to be the absolute best in comparison to all your partner’s other partners past, present & future? Tune in for solace, solidarity, and strategies to tend your tender heart. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon start…
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This month’s Deep Dive was with boudoir photographer and all around artiste Alex Kacha. We discussed self care, the healing gaze of the camera, and of course the kinkiest shoots they’ve ever done! Deep Dive is a monthly series where I'll bring you deep conversations with luminaries in the kink and alternative sexuality communities, always with the …
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A sub loves the play parties she attends with her Dom, but is struggling with watching him play with his primary partner. Can this cozy polycule find a way forward that honors her boundaries? Alex Kacha Deep Dive Interview - Live Event on 10/24 at 5pm PT To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patr…
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Follow KD: Instagram | Website Follow Kink Out: Instagram | Website Get KD’s bootblacking starter kit recs here. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com Go her…
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What do you do when a very special dynamic leaves your life? This week a broken-hearted brat wants to know how to move on in the wake of a great love lost. Join us for our next Deep Dive with photographer Alex Kacha on Tuesday, 10/20 at 5 pacific. Join patreon to attend live for just $5/month, or get the replay at the $11/month Patreon or $8/month …
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Cue up some disco and put on your finest assless chaps, because we’re reviewing the history of The Folsom Street Fair, then we’re taking a walking tour of the heart of leather culture in the 1970’s - San Francisco’s South of Market neighborhood and the many bars, clubs, and bathhouses that made it famous. Check out my substack piece on the walking …
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If you’re reading this, you have a pelvic floor! And Dr. Rachel McCarthy-Moya is here to tell you all about it. Listen for her take on kegels (do less of them), your pelvic floor's relationship to capitalism (burn it down), and her lovely guided exercise for pelvic floor lengthening. Get the complete interview here. Follow Dr. Rachel here. Recommen…
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A refresher on red flags and the radical notion that you don’t have to put up with assholes to get your kink needs met. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com Go here for information on how to rec…
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Thoughts on respecting all the connections in your polyamorous ecosystem when the sub swoons come calling. Our next Deep Dive is on 9/12 at 3pm with pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Rachel McCarthy-Moya! Get more info here. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Su…
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A listener wants to know how to navigate putting a dynamic on pause when one partner is Going Through It, and Lina offers ideas about boundaries and points of connection for the supporting partner. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack…
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Vienna Farlow The Cuntsultant dropped by for an interview about the Fertility Awareness Method and the weird shift from not wanting to get pregnant to wanting to, and how to actually do it (or not do it!). We also talked about breeding kinks and how they’re totally common, normal, and dare I say… fun? Get the substack piece about baby fever here. B…
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This week we're talking about how to approach conflict in a way that honors your D/s dynamic. So few of us have learned any strategies for respectful conflict, and translating the few we have into D/s language can be hard work. Let me help! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting a…
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Hurts So Good author Leigh Cowart joined me for a conversation about pervertibles, aka making kink tools out of what you've got on hand! We also talked about the ever-moving goal posts of masochism and how to make your journey sustainable, joyful, and ever-more perverse. Join Patreon at $11/month to get the complete interview here, as well as acces…
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A new kinkster asks Lina about the “empty headed feeling” that follows her scenes, and Lina explains how subby headspace can be anti-capitalist… and good for you! Hurts So Good by Leigh Cowart | Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham | Do Nothing by Celeste Headlee To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join P…
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Have you noticed online is just getting worse and worse? This week, kink celebrity and YouTuber Evie Lupine joins me to talk about how kinky people have seen this coming for miles, and what internet censorship means for newbies searching for their identities in the online kink world. Get the full version of this episode on Patreon or Substack. Get …
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Sometimes parting is just too much sorrow! This week Lina equips a listener with a strategy for lessening the blow of transitioning back into vanilla life without your Dom, and ask the question… maybe it’s love? Get my first interview with Leigh: teaser | full version To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket frie…
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Lina interviews a listener who got in touch to share the story of her custody battle with her sex-negative ex-husband, and the unexpected win that arrived at the end of her story. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! You’ll also gain access to our Deep Dive with Evi…
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A sub calls in wondering how to maintain a 24/7 spark when sometimes all you wanna do is curl up on the couch and cuddle. Spoiler alert: kink and the couch may not be as at odds with each other as we think. For more 24/7 info check out my online course Conscious Kink that will walk you through building a dynamic of your very own! Don’t miss our Dee…
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Trying to keep your kink gendy-neutch? Means of address can go a long way in creating that euphoric safe space for you. This week we’re bringing you some Pride aftercare in the form of means of address inspiration. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Miss the Frida…
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Lina comforts a listener who’s seeking insight into the parallels between bi+ and non-monogamous identities. Lina also takes a second to address the difference between “unicorn hunters” and bi+ people looking to have a nice time. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!…
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