Each week hosts Ryan & Shane play and discuss their way through the immense catalogue of movie-based video games, one movie at a time, in a possibly futile quest to see whether they can actually be any good, or maybe even better than the movies they are based on-- so you don’t have to!
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Season 3: Oops All Arnold! Postmortem
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Season 3: Oops All Arnold! postmortem episode! In which Shane & Ryan unearth the remains of all the season 3 games and plop them on the examining table so they can pay their final respects(?)! Also: Ryan edits 2 minutes-worth of coughs out of the podcast, Shane creates a whole-ass program for his quiz (showoff), Ryan botches the outro, and more!…
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Episode 30- In which Shane & Ryan talk to the hand in order to watch and play the games of Jonathan Mostow’s (and let’s face it, Arnold’s too) obvious money laundering scheme disguised as the long-awaited sequel to one of the most beloved action movies of all time (what could possibly go wrong?!): Terminator 3 colon Rise of The Machines! Also: Ryan…
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Episode 29- In which Shane & Ryan Ride on horses in an elevator in order to watch and play the game of noted aquaphile James Cameron’s movie about marriage and zany terrorists: True Lies! Also: Ryan gets triggered by Fred Flintstone, Shane fights his fiercest battle yet against “with a missile” or “on a missile”, I love the Nineteen Nine-A-Tees, an…
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Episode 28- In which Shane & Ryan put on their red shirts, blue jeans, and brown leather jackets in order to watch and play the games of yet another John McTiernan action epic...epic FLOP, that is (ZING!): Last Action Hero! Also: Ryan correctly identifies the Nexus Event for our current dark timeline, Shane can’t tell the difference between Aretha …
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Episode 27- In which Shane & Ryan grab a sack of quarters, hop on to the same motorized scooter and head to the Galleria in order to watch and play the games of James Cameron’s global smash hit odd couple buddy action movie sequel: Terminator 2 colon Judgement Day! Also: Ryan FINALLY turns his ire toward George Thorogood, Shane FINALLY turns his ir…
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Episode 26- In which Shane & Ryan get their @sses to Mars in order to watch and play the games of Paul Verhoeven’s ultra-violent three-titted 5 alarm sci-fi banger: Total Recall! Also: Ryan is particular with title grammar (shocker), Shane finally starts to display the signs of early onset Schwarzenegger-triggered Stroke Syndrome, it’s time to pick…
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Episode 25- In which Shane & Ryan slip into their towels and take a violent stroll through a Siberian bath house in order to watch and play the games of Walter Hill’s spectacularly forgettable buddy cop comedy that unfortunately really does exist: Red Heat! Also: “Contra with our d**ks out”, Madea’s Revolution X, Shane REALLY likes bath house scene…
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Episode 24- In which Shane & Ryan put on their leotards lined with xmas lights and hop in their dune buggies in order to watch and play the games of Paul Michael Glaser’s take on Stephen King’s take on OTHER writer Robert Sheckley’s take on reality TV-centric dystopian futures: The Running Man! Also: Ryan does a tight minute on our prison system, S…
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Episode 23- In which Shane & Ryan call each other sunnuvab!tches while mid-air arm wrestling in order to watch and play the games of John McTiernan’s pre-Die Hard all-time action movie heavyweight: Predator! Also: Ryan has a knack(?) for making movie theme lyrics, Shane comes right out the gate with the hot take, the Bad Joke Jingle makes its debut…
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Episode 22- In which Shane & Ryan are sent to past in so they can bang their best friend’s mom in order to watch and play the games of James Cameron’s 100% Tomatometer-rated Cyber-Arnold showcase extravaganza: The Terminator! Also: Ryan doesn’t know how to open doors, Shane suffers from meatball-related Mandela Effect, THREE EFFING’ HOURS?!, and mo…
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Season 3 Premiere: Conan the Destroyer
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Episode 21- Season 3 is here! In which Shane & Ryan get a special visitor that will forever change the course of this season, as well as force them to watch and play the game of Richard Fleischer’s creep-laden sword and sorcery sequel: Conan The Destroyer! Also: Ryan is forced to change his plans, Shane might be smarter than Skynet, goddamn the bas…
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Time to bring our FebruSCARY horror franchise games mini-season to close, where Shane & Ryan play and discuss the games of James Wan & Leigh Whannell’s franchise featuring everyone’s favorite noted non-consensual game and tricycle enthusiast: The Saw franchise! Featuring our first ever guest host: Shane’s creaking chair-- so strap yourselves in and…
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Next up in our FebruSCARY horror franchise games mini-season, Shane & Ryan play and discuss the games of Wes Craven’s dreamboat slasher that built New Line Cinema (and Robert Englund’s career): The (A) Nightmare on Elm Street franchise! Kung Fu this primetime, B*tch!
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Next up in our FebruSCARY horror franchise games mini-season, Shane & Ryan play and discuss the games of Victor Miller/Sean Cunningham’s heartwarming slasher extravaganza about a mother’s unconditional devotion to her son, and her son’s undying love for her: The Friday the 13th franchise! So let’s get ready to Ki Ki Ki, Ma Ma Make our way to Camp C…
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Next up in our FebruSCARY horror franchise games mini-season, Shane & Ryan play and discuss the…uh…game…of John Carpenter’s progenitor of horror slashers: The Halloween franchise! EVIL DIES TONIGHT?
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Mini-Season Premiere)
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The first entry in our FebruSCARY mini-season, in which Shane & Ryan play and discuss the games of different horror franchises, starting with Tobe Hooper’s cautionary tale about cannibalistic hillbillies: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise! Franklin’s the worst, right?!
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Season 2 Postmortem episode! In which Shane & Ryan unearth the remains of all the season 2 games and plop them on the examining table so they can pay their final respects(?)! Also: Known sexual deviant Jar Jar Binks drops by, a divisive HSW Awards, a mini season on the horizon, and more!
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Episode 20- the season 2 finale! In which Shane & Ryan grab the Barbasol and their Hawaiian shirts in order to play and discuss the games of yet ANOTHER tectonically successful Steven Spielberg joint: Jurassic Park! Also: Ryan ponders the practicality of virtual space computer filing systems, Shane seems pretty sure that dinosaurs are aliens, 1993 …
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Episode 19! In which Shane & Ryan take off their shoes & socks and make fists with their toes in order to play and discuss the games of John McTiernan’s holiday-adjacent classic: Die Hard! Also: Ryan doesn’t know how to hear any more about McClane’s bare feet, Shane has a thing for offensive German accents, it’s time to plat Die Hard(est), and more…
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Episode 18! In which Shane & Ryan go surfing through the circuits of time in order to play and discuss the games of Stephen Herek’s film about a totally tubular time traveling twosome: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure! Also: Ryan finds a new low, Shane gives more backstory to his depraved childhood upbringing under the foot of Wimpy’s, how many his…
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Episode 17! In which Shane & Ryan squeeze into their Tron suits and get in their virtua-hammocks in order to play and discuss the games of Brett Leonard’s (NOT Stephen King’s!) Nostradamas-esque look into the inevitable future of Virtual Reality’s effect humans: The Lawnmower Man! Also: Ryan’s cracked the overalls movie trope code, Shane loves Cybo…
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Episode 16! In which Shane & Ryan grab their gumshoe outfits and saunter down to the Ink & Paint Club to get depressed witnessing the downward spiral of Betty Boop’s career to discuss the movie and play the games of Stephen Spiel…uh…Robert Zemeckis’s absolutely perfect toon-person-hybrid-noir: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?! Also: Don’t overstay your wel…
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Episode 15! In which Shane & Ryan grab the idol and leave Alfred Molina stuck to the wall in order to play and discuss the game of the iconic Spielberg and Lucas joint: Raiders of the Lost Ark! Also: Ryan’s got some hot takes-- yet doesn’t really say anything, Shane can’t be fooled by David Arquette, the return of Howard Scott Warshaw, and more!…
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Episode 14! In which Shane & Ryan put on their clown makeup & purple sequin vests in order to play and discuss the game of Walter Hill’s 1979 metaphorically side-scrolling gimmick-based brawler: The Warriors! Also: Ryan remembers actor’s deaths for weird reasons, Shane can’t really tell the difference between Warriors gang and 1950’s do-wop group n…
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Episode 13! In which Shane & Ryan go out into the light and seek help to be less co-dependent, in order to play and discuss the game of Chris McKay’s stylish allegory on how to leave an abusive relationship: Renfield! Also: Ryan talks about wrestlers’ and actors’ gear shifts (uhhhh…), Shane channels John Malkovich, let’s get ready for a Cage Fight,…
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Episode 12! In which Shane & Ryan don their rhinestone gloves, grab their pet chimpanzee, and morph into sportscars to evade our adoring fans and Mr. Big, in order to play and discuss the games of Michael Jackson’s positively unhinged mind-to-film opus: Moonwalker! Also: Ryan gets into the mind of Michael’s story writing process, Shane knows what s…
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Episode 11- Start of Season 2 baybee!! In which Shane & Ryan follow the trail of 20-year-old candy on the ground that inevitably leads us back to being crotch-to-face with everyone’s favorite wrinkly naked botanist that was responsible for the game that inspired this podcast, in order to play and discuss the games of Spielberg’s desperate double di…
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Season 1 Postmortem episode! In which Shane & Ryan unearth the remains of all the season 1 games and plop them on the examining table so they can pay their final respects(?)! Also: One last E.T. score adjustment chance, the first ever HSW Awards, Season 2’s future and games announced, and more!
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Episode 10- Season 1 finale!! In which Shane & Ryan douse themselves in water, go out into the daylight, and then eat well after midnight (because they can!) in order to play and discuss the games of Joe Dante’s masterpiece of self lampooning while wagging his middle fingers in WB execs’ faces: Gremlins 2! Also: Gremlins 2 did it first, can the Gre…
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Episode 9- The penultimate of Season 1! In which Shane & Ryan drink their own filtered pee and hop on a jet ski to discuss and play the games of Kevin Reynold/Costner’s uber expensive aquatic Mad Max “homage”: Waterworld! Also: Who run Barter Town?, Shane actually rates a game much higher than Ryan, Siri- what does a circus sound like on a GameBoy?…
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Episode 8! In which Shane & Ryan gather the film crew and head down to the incinerator room to discuss and play the game of Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s (no relation to Akira) 1989 Japan-only released haunted house horror heckstraviganza: Sweet Home (no Alabama)! Also: Mama Miya (here she goes again!), ADHD makes foreign movies hard (ew.), Shane has to bust …
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Episode 7! In which Shane & Ryan go to prison for murder and try to not fornicate with cartoons just long enough to discuss and play the games of Ralph Bakshi’s ill-fated ride on the back of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’s coattails: Cool World! Also: looking up Vegas Vinnie in the phone book, Frankie Goes to Holli Would, can a cartoon smell like weed? …
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Episode 6! In which Shane & Ryan grab their spelunking gear and pump themselves full of mercury to discuss and play the games of Tom Cru—er, Alex Kurtzman’s 2017 tonally confused first (technically second) and last attempt to launch Universal’s “Dark Universe”: The Mummy! Also: Ask your doctor about Prodigium, Tom Cruise is definitely a normal huma…
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Episode 5! In which Shane & Ryan cake on their prosthetic makeup and ignore Due Process to discuss and play the games of Warren Beatty’s 1990 one-of-a-kind comic strip movie extravaganza: Dick Tracy! Also: nothing like a good spanky, Dick Tracy villains for the modern age, going back down the DOS Hole (ew.), and more!…
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Episode 4! In which Shane & Ryan put on their green contact lenses and open up Egg’s Six Demon Bag to discuss and play the games of John Carpenter’s badassed 1986 mystical action/comedy: Big Trouble in Little China! Also: nuptials in Vince McMahon’s gym, Carpenter VS Nintendo LABO, the biggest gap thus far, and more!…
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Episode 3! In which Shane & Ryan shroud themselves in garlic and regret to watch, play, and discuss Francis Ford Coppola’s bewilderingly super horny 1992 epic: Bram St(r)oker’s Dracula! Also: E.T. is for sure a vampyre, Ryan channels Keanu, a new basement is reached in movie-based video gaming, and more!…
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Episode 2! In which Shane & Ryan fall through a dimensional portal and find themselves Gwildor-deep in fried chicken & ribs to watch, play, and discuss the 1987 cult classic(?): Masters of The Universe: The Live Action Motion Picture! Also: “Troma or Cannon” sweeps the nation, Shane’s mic gets a case of Montezuma’s Revenge, some boots were made for…
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Episode 1! In which Shane & Ryan ride their bikes down to the Goon Docks to watch, play, and discuss Richard Donner’s beloved 1985 Rube Goldberg obsessed film: The Goonies! Also: Shane chooses violence with Chunk, Into The Ramsayverse, the very likely cocaine-fueled “Goonies R’ Good Enough” music videos, and more!…
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E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial and His Adventure On Earth
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Patient Zero! In this secret origins episode: Our intrepid digital explorers Shane & Ryan watch, discuss the history of, and play what is probably the most infamous movie-based video game of all time and delve into why E.T.’s squat, wrinkly shadow hovers over all they are going to do in this podcast series. Also: 80’s dog turds, X-Men, 24 hour drug…
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