A funny and entertaining Sci-Fi movie review podcast with childhood friends that uses a unique 11-point rating scale Ascension to 10. Your main hosts, JAD and Spenny, and their producer/occasional host Bry use their longtime friendship to tell stories of their younger years. They look for movies that have been lost or purposely forgotten and hope you will come on the journey with them.
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Episode 56: No Destination in Mind || Mayflower II Movie Review
1:11:57
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We’re back!!! No amount of technical difficulties could stand in our way this time. Spenny had some assembly required and stranded himself, JAD tells not one, but two magnet stories as part of a larger story about seaming, and the Cold Case segment returns. The bois discuss the movie Mayflower II, a story about getting lost in space. Don’t watch it…
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Episode 55: This movie gave us a brain parasite || The Fifth Wave Movie Review
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Remember when we said we were back in a rhythm and on a strict recording and publishing schedule? Me neither!! Spenny kicked things off this episode by trying his best to get the show canceled, the bois talk about garage doors, and JAD makes fun of his wife. We also talk about The Fifth Wave, which is a very bad movie. Sorry this took so long to ge…
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Episode 54: I’m gonna kill these birds, right? || Birdemic: Shock and Terror Movie Review
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Episode 54: I’m gonna kill these birds, right? || Birdemic: Shock and Terror Movie Review Let’s do this! Birdemic is in the building, ladies and gentlemen! This has been long awaited, and we had to roll without Bryan to get it done. Wowwie! This movie takes things to a new level. It starts off with lots of time watching a guy drive a rental Mustang…
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Episode 53: Metal Hands || Knights of the Zodiac Movie Review
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We’re in Season 2 at last! That’s right, whatever conditions were previously set for Season 2 to start, uhhh, we met those. Sure. Anyways, we’re back after yet another long hiatus. If you’ve stuck around, thank you for your patience! We really appreciate your time. On this episode, Spenny gets philosophical right away, leading the bois down a path …
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Episode 52: Replaced by AI || 65 Movie Review
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It’s a trio! That’s right the whole crew is back and ready to talk about the movie 65, a movie about aliens fighting dinosaurs or something. JAD talks about softball, gold scooters, staying visible at night, and he even gives an update to a fan favorite segment: magnet stories! In addition, JAD prepared a new segment for the bois in which they disc…
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Episode 51: Accidental Double Feature || Evil Dead & Army of Darkness Movie Reviews
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Episode 51: Accidental Double Feature || Evil Dead & Army of Darkness Movie Reviews Well, we finally did. We didn’t watch the same movie, and you’ll see JAD and Spenny scramble to put together a double movie review without the other ever seeing the movie the other watched. JAd watched Evil Dead, and Spenny watched Army of Darkness. Based on the mov…
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Episode 50: Hardcore Hotels || Highlander Movie Review
1:09:52
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The bois jumped through a time vortex and are back to do a bit of podcasting. Highlander was on deck this week, but we’ve been gone so long, we forgot how to review it. That actually has more to do with all the stories we told. Spenny went on a vacation that was fine, JAD solved his transportation problems, and the two remember an epic SPAM from 20…
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Episode 48: LoTR Poor Man Rewrite || In The Name of The King Movie Review
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Episode 48: LoTR Poor Man Rewrite || In The Name of The King Movie Review The bois have been sitting on this one for a while. Both pre and post production. Its finally time to unveil the most ridiculous movies we’ve watch in a while and that includes velocipastor. This week we review In The Name of the King Movie. They literally had to rewrite 70% …
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Episode 47: Basically Animorphs || The Velocipastor Movie Review
1:08:16
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The bois did something new this week by reviewing a good movie. Velocipastor might not have anything to do with velociraptors or pastors, but it does contain everything a movie needs in a convenient runtime. The movie is basically animorphs, but we never mentioned that because I just thought of it. Also, I did my best to make the show art for this …
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Episode 46: Thumb War Jox A movie about huge robots with a boring plot? Sounds like a good recipe for the Ascension To Ten podcast. The bois review Robot Jox from 1989. It was a lame version of Pacific Rim. Spenny talks about karaoke and the bois reminisce about funny stories of t-shirts. Want to share a Typical Day story with us? Want to recommend…
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Another week, another setup change. This is the first episode the bois finally implement the technology JAD has wanted this entire time: green screen editing. The bois are the only thing holding themselves back at this point. This week we briefly talk about the movie Jupiter Ascending after discussions involving selling things on Facebook marketpla…
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So we did another low-budget Steven Seagal movie (“Code of Honor” if it even matters). This one is so bad that Spenny had to put JAD in a timeout and restricted his movie selections moving forward. It’s a real stinker. Hopefully this episode is better than the movie itself, or we may lose what audience we have. Anyways, JAD shows up in costume, Spe…
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Episode 43: The Clown Quest Well, well, well, another Van Damme film, this time The Quest. Frankly, we don’t really know what the real plot line was, but it's obvious Van Damme didn’t either, as this was his first film as director. Its something about being a clown on stilts but ending up in this epic fight tournament that reminds you of cheap mort…
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Hello? Is anyone there? We’re back! After a three month break, the bois get back in the studio to do very important things, such as talk about clothes, hair, running indoor marathons, a critical lack of magnets, paying to park, drinking, and its consequences. We also discuss the movie Street Fighter, which is obviously based on Street Fighter 2. Wa…
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Episode 41: Phantom Summer to Forget With JAD out of pocket for a minute to enjoy little baby Sloane. He leaves the fate of the show to Spenny. In Turn, Spenny calls in a familiar face to help, and Bry answers the call! This week we are reviewing The Phantom (1996). It is a great movie to review and talk about all the craziness of this film. Billy …
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Spenny and JAD sit down for a special episode announcing JAD's first child, Sloane. No movie or clowning this week, just happy words on becoming a dad; although Spenny does manage to sneak in a TD. While A2TEN isn't going anywhere, the next couple episodes may be a bit different with JAD taking some time off. Spenny will carry the show forward thou…
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Episode 40: Black Adam Bad? This was another listener's recommendation to do Black Adam. Thank you, Zach and Derek. It was surprisingly a really enjoyable film. JAD and Spenny didn’t have much to say about it other than they enjoyed the movie and the visuals. The bois poked fun at a few concepts, like a nanobot girl making tornadoes and the atom sm…
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Episode 39: BatBoi vs. IcedMan This movie is another fan recommendation from our listener, Doug. We are reviewing Batman and Robin. Man, this is a sequel to Batman forever, but they lost Val Kilmer to The Saint, so they got a TV actor named George Clooney to play Batman. It was his first leading role. Unfortunately, it didn't translate to success. …
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Episode 38: Winning by Tying We had an incredible fan recommendation from a show friend, Taylor. Cosmoball (2020). It is a Russian Sci-fi film. The premise is around this game called Cosmo Ball, which is soccer meets Tron. It took the bois by surprise. It is a visually strong film, and the dubbed English and subtitles were another level of entertai…
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Episode 37: Ascensions are Easy Spenny picked the movie this week; Earth Girls Are Easy (1989). It stars Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carry, and Damon Wayans. It is over the top Sci-fi musical comedy. It has weird furry aliens that somehow can shave off colored fur and look like completely normal humans. The bois try to get through this without …
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Episode 36: Miami Vice on Ice COLD ZONE! the bois are reviewing the film, Cold Zone. It’s a made-for-TV movie from Canada. A Miami family who vacations to Alaska each week comes up when the world’s largest ice hurricane hits and it follows the ice apocalypse! Their son, Jordan is SOO bummed about not being in Cabo. Spenny did some work travel and t…
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The bois wanted to do a year in review, but this came out after 2022 ended and three months before the one year anniversary, so we are doing a YTD for the show. We discuss Avater 2 in extra dimensions, a movie about Bigfoot or something, and then spend most of the time ranking all of our Ascension ratings to date and also all the episode thumbnails…
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Seagal is in the house this week, and he could not care less. The film is Born to Raise Hell, 2010. This film proves that Seagal only cared about karate chopping his way through bad guys. This is one of over 185 movies he’s done. Who keeps letting him make these? Spenny points out that he sounds like a whispering Donald Trump. This may have taken t…
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JAD’s fond childhood memory of Mission to Mars is torn to shreds this week. I guess movies that seem cool as a 12 year old don’t always hold up 22 years later, especially when the movie actually just sucks. The bois were sick this week, so please excuse our lack of energy. JAD talks about a previous illness, Spenny reads off his resume, and the two…
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Episode 32: Uncrustable HeMans "I HAVE THE POWER," says HeMan only once in this week's film, The Masters of the Universe. It features Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, and Courtney Cox. Gwildor invents a cosmic key but has no idea how it works, Skeletor is constantly looking for someone to love him, and HeMan is the 4th most important character in hi…
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First off, thank you to Alex Meland for bringing Space Mutiny to our attention. We had a great time reviewing what I can only describe as a dollar store Star Wars. Consider a future in which the LAST remaining survivors of a doomed Earth ban together and build a colony spaceship destined for a new planet. They are humanity’s last and only hope for …
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Episode 30: Mad Max on Water Is this the beginning of season 2, did there happen to be a delay on the season 1 production? Well, we are happy to announce that season one continues! Ever wondered what life would be like if the ice caps melted and then flooded the earth to the point that only Everest peak was the only land as far as the eye could see…
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Episode 29: Cars Go Fast This episode is a long one! The bois are back from their hiatus. Hopefully, it was worth the wait! JAD and Spenny recap their weekend at a Formula 1 race, discuss their failure to record this episode despite being together, and JAD has them play a weird candy game. The Bois eventually landed in the film Driven, featuring Sy…
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The bois welcome a new, long-term co-host to the show: Alan! In what became a last-minute special guest episode, we talk about childhood fistfights, exercise bikes, band, and what it means to be a friend, but not a best friend. We also review Death Race 2000, which was probably the first B movie we ever watched in college. Buckle up for this lethal…
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Well, the results are in. I guess we’re letting swear words fly now. If this upsets you, write to us and complain to Spenny, because I’m not on board with this. He made a bad poll, and now you have to hide your kids every time A2TEN plays. All I can say is that this is 100% not my fault. Oh yeah, we talk about Maximum Overdrive. Don’t watch it. The…
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It’s Morbin Time! This week the bois put the pressure on the film Morbius featuring Jared Leto and Matt Smith. It is a Marvel Comic, but it isn’t in the MCU? It’s complicated, just like this film. By the end of the film, the number of questions outweighs the minutes of the film. Why does Tyrese have a mechanical arm in the trailer, but he is normal…
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Episode 25: Giving up but not quitting
1:14:34
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Despite technology forcing us to give up, we’re not quitting! When scholars look back at Episode 25 of the Ascension to Ten Podcast, they’ll ask, “what did it take to publish this episode?”. Our answer: “Everything”. Multiple starts and stops over several days were required to get this out. All to talk about the movie Wing Commander, which is about…
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Well, well, well - how the turned tables. Spenny is editing his first episode this week. Please give it some love, or feel free to trash it too. This week the bois discuss Logan’s Run (1975). Another film based on a book but the director and writers decided not to follow the book at all. The bois felt this film was a jettison for movies that came a…
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If Spenny and JAD were in charge of saving the planet, they’d change a couple two three four things from the Robinson family mission. Basically everything because there wasn’t a single element of this plot that made sense. The writers of Lost in Space were just lost. JAD rages about (not) his HOA rules, Spenny transcended to the terminal dimension …
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The moon may have fallen, but the internet’s favorite trinity has Ascended. That’s right, all three of the bois are back to dunk on the train wreck that is Moonfall. It really is something else. This movie made JAD cry on camera… Spenny remembered that he forgot about an email, Bryan remembered how JAD introduced him to Creed bombs and how to dance…
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After a week off, we go back to basics. Wait, didn’t we do this last episode? Whatever, we’re doing it again. Spenny chose yet another movie that was too good for JAD to make silly comments on, so he decided to make a brand new segment called “Name That Ascension” where he quizzed Spenny on his knowledge of deep show lore. Then the bois get into a …
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Grab a crunchwrap supreme and settle in for some non-Taco-Bell explosive content as the bois review Demolition Man. Good movies make for bad episodes it seems, so this one should be pretty great. JAD talks about his time as a delinquent radio DJ, the bois discuss middle school industrial tech, and JAD shares a Typical Day without even realizing it.…
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We didn’t make this podcast. We were never here. You never knew us. We’ve been trained to leave no trace of Ascensions. We are Grey Men. “Grey”? “Gray”? I’ve always spelled it “Grey” but the autocorrect is telling me that’s wrong. “Grey” is a thing, right? Hang on. Let me Google this…… According to Merriam-Webster: “Gray and grey are both common sp…
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Episode 18: We got in a huge fight, and the podcast ended
1:18:26
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This was a doozy, folks. You may have noticed that there was no episode last week. That’s because we got in a huge fight, and the podcast ended. We decided to sit down one last time to explain the situation and what happens next. It was the very least we could do for you, our fantastic audience. Please enjoy the episode. Who knows if there will be …
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Seems like we died a bit watching this movie, but using the powers of the Ascension to Ten scale, we were able to shoot some ectoplasm at the bummer that is Spawn. Or something. IDK. This movie really stinks. The one thing that Spenny and I remember about it from childhood ended up being incredibly lame. I won’t spoil it. Meh, whatever. The motorcy…
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Taking a break from sci-fi this week to talk about more planes. Iron Eagle is to Top Gun as The Thirteenth Floor is to The Matrix. This one was a miss, and I’m not sure anyone enlisted after watching this movie. Spenny makes another list, but JAD makes some last minute additions with a FD and the start of a new recurring segment: The Competition!! …
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Episode 15: Gunning With Independence
1:56:15
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Strap into your booster seats for this episode. All three of the bois celebrate the Fourth by pulling serious Gs on the Ascension to Ten scale. Bryan only did half the assignment by skipping out on Independence Day: Resurgence for Top Gun: Maverick. The bois talk about Crystal Light, letters from the audience, Spenny made a list, JAD met a listener…
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It all could have started here. When Spenny and JAD brainstormed the Ascension to Ten Podcast, two movies rose to the top as potential pilot candidates: Tremors 6: A Cold Day in Hell and Ridick. A chapter of show lore is now complete. The bois reminisce about the glory days of being at the top of their game in the bowling alley and behind the wheel…
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There is no logical argument you can make that proves I’m real. But there is no doubt that the Ascension to Ten Podcast is real and thriving. This week, Spenny and JAD fall through reality itself only to realize the hole they fell through was in their own subjective perceptions. Reviewing The Thirteenth Floor seemed like it would be an easy full-co…
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What do the Chinese Year of the Dragon and the movie Beyond White Space have in common? Nothing. JAD and Spenny asked themselves the same thing and ended up taking a trip beyond the Ascension to Ten rating scale. Don’t worry, clever rounding tricks and some light calculus brought the final review into what you’ve come to know and expect. Spenny rec…
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The season of specials is over, and it’s back to normal around here. So at the end of a previous episode, JAD said the next normal episode would be about Starship Troopers 3. Except he didn’t say that, he said Starship Troopers 2, which is what the bois actually review, except they very clearly remember saying Starship Troopers 3. Whatever. Doesn’t…
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Well, look who decided to join the show! That’s right, in our final special episode of the season, Spenny and JAD are joined by Bry to finally discuss Season 1 of Severance. We’re sorry it took so long to release this episode, but we had to contend with technical problems and Bry’s Wizard of Oz schedule. The bois take an in-depth look at what makes…
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Spenny and JAD are joined by their friends Woot, Taylor, and Jess for the very first A2Ten Listener Special. After listening to the show, our three guests each suggested a movie for us to review; and lucky for us, they all agreed to be on the show to help us review and rate the movies. Woot suggested Mars Attacks!, Taylor suggested Chaos Walking, a…
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Spenny and JAD are joined by their moms Peri and Lori for a very special Mother’s Day episode. Our first guests on the show are our biggest supporters. Thank you for all you’ve done for us; we love you very much. The bois and moms talk a little bit about movies and a lot about growing up. Want to share a Typical Day story with us? Want to recommend…
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Episode 10: These ratings were Alien to us
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What can I say about this episode? JAD tells the worst story of his life and puts himself to sleep, Spenny wrote a full book report, and the bois review Alien, reaching new heights on the Ascension to Ten scale. To accomplish such feats, the bois had to contend with technical difficulties, lots of allergic mouth breathing and wheezing, dozens of mi…
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