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We've all got baggage. But what do we choose to do with it? Every other Friday, licensed clinical psychologist, best-selling author and popular psychology professor Dr. Andrea Bonior takes your mental health questions, and makes you part of the conversation. Join her and other voices as they translate research into real life, and talk about relationships, emotions, health, psychological disorders, stress, finding meaning, work, and occasionally-- just occasionally-- the most obscure dance cr ...
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It's Thanksgiving in the United States, which means a time of reflection and gratitude (and yes, we know, a time to find some comfier pants.) It's also a time of transition for Dr. Andrea and for Baggage Check.... take a listen. And thank you! Here's more on Dr. Andrea Bonior and her book Detox Your Thoughts. Credits: Beautiful cover art by Daniell…
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As we take a production breather (in the cold, dark world of the "fall back" clock shift) we wanted to revisit an episode from a year ago about tackling the Winter blues. Contrary to popular belief, it's not really about temperature, as even folks fortunate enough to be able to wear a tank top at Thanksgiving can still suffer from seasonal blues-- …
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Have you ever heard of the Sunday Scaries? They seem to be growing more and more common: the dread and unease that hits before the workweek begins. In today's show, we talk about what cultural shifts might be making these more prevalent-- and how to help prevent and manage them. Whether you have a traditional workweek, a bizarro-world workweek, or …
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With horrifying images circulating amid devastating world news, we wanted to talk today about something that comes up constantly in times of despair: how to find the light, and how to talk to our kids about things that are scary and seemingly unspeakable. What about when we feel like we have no answers ourselves? How can we keep moving forward, set…
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Today we're talking about OCD-- and most specifically, how misunderstood it is. You may recall Episode 24, where we talked with author and journalist David Adam about his personal struggles with OCD (and if you haven't, give it a listen!) but today we tackle all the misconceptions we see most often out in the world about what it is-- and what it is…
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We all do it. Okay, maybe we shouldn't say we all do it-- because that's what we're up against today. We're talking about all-or-none thinking. We've mentioned this type of thinking before on Baggage Check, and how it is a common cognitive distortion that can easily make you more anxious, more depressed, and more irritable. But today we're tackling…
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A lot of us struggle with resentment and bitterness. What happens when it hardens into something that feels almost impossible to shift? There's good news: it CAN be changed. Today we talk about nine mental habits that can lead very easily to bitterness, whether fleeting or more serious. Do you recognize yourself in any of these? We've got ways to c…
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Continuing with our theme of feeeeeeelings, we are devoting today to anxiety, and specifically the way that your body's physiology has been preparing for it for tens of thousands of years. Today we dive deep into the fear response, and why fight/flight/freeze doesn't have to be the enemy. We go through each of the most classic ways that your body p…
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Feeeeeeelings! We've talked about them quite a bit on Baggage Check. But what we haven't talked about yet is something crucial but often overlooked: the way that we feel our emotions, physically. It's virtually impossible to improve how you deal with negative emotions if you don't have a good foundation of understanding how they manifest in your bo…
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We talk a lot on Baggage Check about warning signs, problems, risky behaviors, and conflicts within relationships-- along with things that just make you feel a little bit off. But what about the pillars of a good relationship? Today we're celebrating, acknowledging, and learning about all the positive factors that can help build a healthy partnersh…
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People often say they're "bad with change," or, seemingly less often, that they're good with it. But change isn't a monolith. Different changes can involve vastly different things: are you good at adding things in, but not letting go of things? Are you okay with making room for the idea of new things but not actually doing it? Is commitment itself …
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With mental health symptomology at record highs in certain demographics, it's clear that not enough people are getting the help they need. And though many people know the potential benefits of therapy, they might still feel hesitant to actually seek it out. Or others may be on the cusp of making the call, but something keeps holding them back. Toda…
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Siblings: the majority of Americans have at least one. And yet we often talk about them only in the context of childhood. As adults, the highs and lows of sibling relationships can often make or break our lives. Today we get real about what the research says about how siblings matter across the lifespan, and the surprising ways they affect parentin…
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Today we're celebrating the Summer Solstice (a little late, and yes, Happy Winter to our friends in the Southern Hemisphere!) with some thoughts about the magic of summer. What makes this season different-- but why do our hopes for it often end with regret? From exploring what's wrong with the concept of a bucket list to figuring out how we balance…
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We've talked about overtly and controlling relationships before-- but what about when it's much more subtle? Today we tackle five common relationship behaviors that can truly spell trouble over time, and that typically mean you deserve better. Do you recognize these in anyone you know? Join us! Follow Baggage Check on Instagram @baggagecheckpodcast…
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Whether you're flying eight hours to go to a dream destination or loading up the car for the same swath of beach you've hit dozens of times before, your state of mind during your vacation is key to making it worth your while. Today we talk about six ways to help make it less likely that you'll come back from your time off feeling worse for the wear…
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It was a classic research case, laid out to millions of psychology students worldwide: the spectacle of Genain quadruplets, four genetically identical siblings who all suffered from various aspects of psychosis. Now, decades after they first became a sensation, a new book peels back the public-facing layers to reveal a dark and disturbing story tha…
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Trust is one of the most important parts of close relationships, and yet it is also one of the easiest things to lose, or... in many cases... detonate. Today we're talking about six ideas for ways to build trust, whether you are building from scratch, rebuilding, or just trying to strengthen it. Though it will always take time (and thank goodness f…
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Today we're talking about good ol'-fashioned self-deception. So many of us engage in it-- and it doesn't always have to wreck our mental health. But certain patterns very commonly mess with us and cause significant self-sabotage. Do you think you'll recognize yourself in any of these patterns of lies? Join us and find out! Follow Baggage Check on I…
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It's rare the smartphone user who doesn't feel they could benefit from cutting down on usage just a little. After all-- in an example of behavioral science being used NOT for good-- smartphones are designed to be as addictive as possible. We're never about grandiose pronouncements or unrealistic behavior change here, so with that in mind, we wanted…
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Today's show covers too much to be summed up in these measly episode notes. We sit down in conversation with Joanne Greene, radio and television pioneer whose new memoir "By Accident: A Memoir of Letting Go" covers a staggering period of her life that saw multiple traumas-- but allowed her to emerge anew, in part by learning, finally, to stay still…
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The myth of arrival, the arrival fallacy.... whatever we call it, it can zap your ability to engage with the current moment. It's the idea that only once you get to a certain place in your life: meeting a specific goal, achieving a certain accomplishment, or just getting to a certain point in time, that only then will your real life begin. Today we…
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You've been hearing our discussions on loneliness and friendship, and now we are hearing from you! Today we're discussing a listener's thoughts about how hard it is when they feel like they are the only ones putting forth effort in friendships. From societal trends to individual personality differences-- and some surprising additional barriers-- we…
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Today we're talking about the "shoulda"s, the "woulda"s, and the "coulda"s; the "What If?"s and the "If Only"s. But we're digging into the science and figuring out how to not be driven bananas by all of it. Counterfactual thinking-- the idea of visualizing an alternative outcome, comes in different forms and can have positives in negatives. From su…
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In the aftermath of some tragic and very public events, I have heard from more and more people uncertain about how to respond to a person experiencing a problem with mental health-- especially when it seems to be escalating fast. Today, we discuss how you can become part of the solution rather than part of the problem-- and potentially save a life.…
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Today we're talking with Dr. Brooke Ellison, associate professor at Stony Brook University, author of Look Both Ways, and subject of the Christopher Reeve- directed documentary, The Brooke Ellison Story. When Brooke was just 11 years old, walking home from her first day of junior high school, she was hit by a car-- and left with quadriplegia. In a …
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It's the biggest public health problem that the fewest people talk about. Loneliness is an epidemic, and it is increasing-- and taking lives in the process. Today we break down the new report of the US Surgeon General about social disconnection and loneliness, and talk about all the surprising ways that they can wreck your health (yes, your physica…
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In today's episode, we wanted to talk about things you can do in this very moment when you're feeling overwhelmed. While we often focus on long-term self-care, at certain times it can feel futile to think about strategies that can help build up your emotional health over days, weeks, and months. So, here are ten things that you can put into practic…
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Depression is one of the most common psychological disorders there is (no longer THE most common, though-- thanks, anxiety disorders! Oof) and yet there are so many myths that persist about it. Today we are tackling the most common ones, and trying to get the real picture. No two people with depression are alike, and the more you know about its (so…
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Okay, maybe "wreck" is too strong a word. But with friendship more important than ever to our physical and emotional health, it's time we tackle the common missteps that often lead to heartache. What I often hear from people is that meeting people isn't the hard part of making friends-- it's turning the meeting into something that resembles a relat…
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Money is consistently identified as one of the biggest stressors that people experience. So why is its impact on individual mental health not much of a focus, and why are most therapists not trained in any way to talk about the specifics of this issue? And why is it so ever-lovin' awkward to talk about? We sat down with financial therapist (yes, th…
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Are you a people-pleaser? Prone to saying yes to things that you wish you'd say no to? Do you find it hard to establish boundaries, and you end up getting roped into things that aren't true to your values, or that will end up burning you out or causing resentment in the long run? If this is you, we'll ask that you DON'T say no-- to listening to tod…
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Do you have something you'd love to get help with-- but it feels too weird, too awkward, too cringe? Is there a lot of shame along with it? A lot of (ahem!) baggage? Join us for today's show, where we talk about some surprisingly common-- but seemingly embarrassing things-- that therapy can absolutely help with. Follow Baggage Check on Instagram @b…
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Today we're talking about Loving Kindness Meditation, and honoring the memory of a remarkable human being who was special to Baggage Check, Dr. Maryann Gray. If you're cringing at the idea of Loving Kindness Meditation, will it help that it might slow the aging process? And change your brain volume? (For the better, of course.) Join us and we'll wa…
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Do you think of yourself as "not creative?" Do you miss the ways you tried artistic pursuits during the pandemic, and have since had to let that go? Do you struggle with perfectionism, impostor syndrome, or overly focusing on the finished product of your endeavors rather than the process itself? Today we're talking with mixed media artist and retir…
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Long-distance relationships seem more common than ever-- and the research on the ways that the pandemic has changed dating (or just accelerated the trends that were beginning right before) bears this out. But long-distance relationships can also be ever-so tricky. Today we're going over ten tips that can honestly help any relationship grow stronger…
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We've likely all been tempted to say it, whether to ourselves or others: "Calm doooooown!" But in reality, there's probably not another common phrase that is so ineffective in getting the outcome that it aims for. So what can we do instead? Join us today for five things to say that are much more likely to be helpful, so that next time, you're actua…
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Today we're focusing on drinking-- and getting rid of the generalities and stereotypes to get real about the complications, the nuances, and the human side of alcohol use. On today's Baggage Check welcome Dr. Debra Kaysen, Stanford University professor and expert researcher on alcohol abuse. From how to think about what is "problem drinking" to sur…
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There'll be no numbered lists here today, just some frank talk about how important it is to set limits when the news is dark. We think about what our brains and hearts are evolutionarily meant to handle (and what they're not), how we can take small steps to set boundaries, the reasons why it's so important to do so-- and how it ultimately make you …
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We've talked some about relationship violence and emotional abuse (check out our recent episode with Dr. Carolyn West!), and Dr. Andrea has written a lot about controlling behaviors. But what about those subtle relationship behaviors that might not necessarily spell doom, that you should keep an eye on? Perhaps those things that it's easy for us to…
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We talk a lot about anxiety on Baggage Check, and how all of us struggle with it to some extent. Today we're focusing on how to know that maybe it's gotten to the point where it's problematic. How do you know when it's time to seek help? What everyday behaviors might be hiding anxiety beneath? For some surprising ways that excessive stress might af…
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Today, as always, we want to shine a light in the darkness-- and so we're going where civil, "polite" discussions often don't. We're talking about the traumatic, tragic shame of accidentally killing someone. Dr. Maryann Gray is the founder of The Hyacinth Fellowship, a support network for those who are living in the darkness of having unintentional…
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We've talked about how the truest, deepest forms of happiness and well-being don't necessarily come just from pleasure, comfort, or ease. They come from a deeper sense of meaning-- which is often very connected to your sense of purpose. But how can we think about our sense of purpose? What can we ask ourselves to help us find it? And is all hope lo…
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Do men and women have the same depression symptoms? Certainly, there's much overlap. But there are often times when our classic visual of what depression looks like tends to miss men altogether. And there are ways that their most common symptoms might not look like depression at first glance at all. Join us today to talk about all things depression…
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Today we're taking a listener question-- and wrestling with the common but potentially heartbreaking dilemma of what happens when an otherwise happy and committed couple differs about whether or not to have children. Is there any hope? Let's dig deep about parenting ambivalence, in today's Baggage Check. Follow Baggage Check on Instagram @baggagech…
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There are many stereotypes about what relationship violence looks like-- and there are many ways that survivors and perpetrators of it defy those stereotypes. Today we sat down with Dr. Carolyn West, professor of psychology at the University of Washington and leading authority on relationship violence, to learn the realities of this difficult topic…
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Apologies are something we all have experience with-- and baggage about-- that probably began from the time we first learned to communicate. But as frequently as the need to apologize comes up in life, it can be a hard thing to get right. And in fact, sometimes our apologies are disastrous and do more harm than good. On today's show, we're discussi…
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There are many visualizations out there, and many people who find the concept of them to be trite. But with anxiety rising and some solid evidence behind visualization as a relaxation technique, we think they're worth a try. Learn what visualizations can-- and cannot-- do, and get five solid examples of ones you can try today, perhaps even without …
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Today we're talking with Marni Amsellem, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in health-related issues. With more and more individuals predicted to suffer from physical health problems in the coming years, and with many already suffering mightily, we thought it was high time for a conversation about the role of psychological supp…
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The health benefits of friendship are immense-- and you've likely heard us nagging you about it in the past. Today we wanted to get down and dirty-- or not so dirty, these are just friends we're talking about!-- and discuss some realistic, fast, and actionable things you can do to give your friendships a boost. Nothing grandiose, nothing long-term,…
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