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Addicted To People

Addicted to People

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Is co-dependency making your life unmanageable? Do you find yourself saying yes when you want to say no? We have been there (who hasn’t?) with almost 30 years of co-dependency recovery under my belt I share my experience, strength and hope. Though I am very 12-step oriented I pull in LOTS of other resources because there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to setting boundaries and taking your life back. Join me and occasional guests! If you get nothing from this, well, heck it was free an ...
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Well another dive into the depression well. I am sharing with you some of the things I’ve done to try to help myself get out of the depression, how well that’s going,what’s worked for me and I want to remind everyone over and over that 1.you should reach out and 2. there is no difference between mental illness and physical illness. you would not he…
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Well I love you know that I suffer from major depressive disorder and that means I’m cyclical and right now I’m in the cycle of depression. I almost didn’t do the podcast because I am just you know programed to believe I should always put my best foot forward but that’s not what this podcast is about. this podcast is about being authentic and real …
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Well this is a deep dive into the patriarchy into women’s role in the patriarchy women’s role in keeping themselves to a different standard than they keep men. I really wanna hear from people after they hear this so I’m gonna put my email here in the hopes that that is an easier way for you to get a hold of me then to be addicted to people Facebook…
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I used to always make the joke that I had to be myself because nobody else wanted to be. And I guess that’s true but it had sort of a negative connotation that being me was not all that great. And that’s how I went through most of my life, thinking that there was always something wrong with me, thinking that I needed to change in order to fit in, t…
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In this rather long episode (I’m sorry about that )I talk about what it’s like to grow up with narcissistic parents. Anybody who has grown up with an alcoholic has grown up with a narcissist and the kind of damage that they can do can be very deep and it can feel like it’s actually part of your personality instead of something that happened because…
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Just starting to tackle that tricky little second step where higher power comes into the whole recovery scene. I have no answers. I have musings I have thoughts I have questions. Please let me know your musings, thoughts and questions by going to the Facebook page for addicted to people. Hope you get something out of this…
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Please a little bit of a heavy one with the events that happened this week with the storming of the capital I find myself thinking back to the terrorism of my childhood and the childhood a lot of kids grew up in alcoholic homes. And I’m finding a lot of parallels in the lack of understanding I have for why my mother was so angry with her life and w…
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If you’re anything like me you’ve asked yourself from time to time how did I end up like this? Now I’m thrice times divorced I have been through a lot of financial difficulties and I seem to always have somebody addicted in my life. So in this episode we talk about patterns and how examining the patterns of over your life can really lead to some in…
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Yes I know we’ve talked about acceptance before but you can never talk about it enough. Acceptance is sort of the basis of all of recovery. I contend it’s the basis of happiness. It’s not all of happiness and we still do need Disneyland but it’s the basis, it’s the ground rock, without it it’s almost impossible to live authentically happy. So take …
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Hey everyone I go into talking about basically who does America worship. Turns out it’s not who we worship it’s what we worship, which is capitalism and the almighty dollar. Unfortunately this year has taught us that that really doesn’t work. We have thousands of people dying every day and yet our elected officials squabble over $600. I find it dis…
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Deep dive into denial both about the denial of Covid did it I was about the vaccine the denial about the presidential election the denial that I can have can’t have more than one cookie at a time without going overboard and the denial that stops us from making positive healthy choices. You cannot make a decision or a healthy choice unless you first…
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In this weeks episode I am talking about caring about ourselves loving ourselves enough to leave when we’re being mistreated. I am so please join me and I’m gonna read some wonderful comments I found on a on a Twitter thread him anonymously but just to let you know that it’s these things are very common and there are a lot of people that struggle w…
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In this episode I talk about a huge moment of understanding about the dynamics of my family that came it seems like out of nowhere and I just really felt the need to talk about it and see what you think about it and how it might be late to your family. Hope you’re all staying safe hope I get to hear from you at my addicted to people Facebook page p…
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I share how I got through the last week and how I’m getting through every week of this quarantine. I’ve been in quarantine since February and I live alone and it’s been a challenge. But I will admit I am not sick and that is a gratitude. Please come and talk with me at the addictive people Facebook page and like subscribe whatever it is that you li…
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Today I look at one of the four M’s, martyrdom and the making of myself as a martyr and how I’ve clung to that self-image and why. I hope you can relate to some of it. I think that martyrdom is one of the most insidious and difficult of the coping mechanisms to eradicate. I think that we are a wee bit enamored of our sorrows. Anyway let me know wha…
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Hey everyone I am one pissed off woman. I didn’t know what I was going to do a podcast about because I was so angry so I decided to do a podcast about being angry. If you have ever felt like you are second-class citizen simply because you are a woman this is the episode for you. Please leave your notes and messages at the Facebook page for a Addict…
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In this I give you a little bit of homework and that homework is to watch the documentary the social dilemma on Netflix. It really speak to those of us that look for validation and self-esteem on the outside of ourselves and exacerbates an already difficult problem. I do mention that I am going to be going off of Facebook I know I’ve said that befo…
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There’s a saying in Al-Anon that it works because we’re not all crazy at the same time. But unfortunately here in America most of us are going a bit crazy if not totally crazy. So what do you do when you’re dealing with not just alcoholics and addicts but all the unrecovered codependents? If you’re like me you record a podcast! Please go to the add…
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This episode deals with the idea of Maslow‘s hierarchy and how institutions people and philosophies can actually stop us from being our best selves, from being happy joyous and free as promised in the big book. I hope that even if you’ve heard this information before it helps in some small way to analyzing your relationships and whether they’re goo…
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So this is a discussion about the pursuit of happiness and the pursuit of not being depressed in the age of a pandemic. I talk about a wonderful documentary that posits the three main elements of creating happiness in your life and a wonderful book by Johann Hari about how to break through Depression. I hope you get something useful from the podcas…
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This episode is all about how much we have to surrender the things that we can’t control. That the suffering that will cause ourselves by not surrendering to think you can’t control is what makes our life fairly miserable. So I talk about you know what it’s like to surrender to the point what it’s like to surrender to the to the fact that we can’t …
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This is a bit of a heavy topic when I called the original world is when a baby when a child is not loved by a parent and doesn’t get the kind of sense of self-worth that children need between zero and two years old and I am interested in hearing what anyone has to say about it and if they understand any of it is very very interesting to me I’d love…
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In this episode we delve again into the idea of acceptance of reality as it is in the present. Also talk about how important it is to make informed decisions about what we’re going to do and that part of the information we need is about addiction and the specific addiction that are left one is dealing with. It’s also good to know about our own addi…
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In this episode we talk about how hard it is for people to accept bad circumstances. That one of the reasons that we don’t want to accept things is that means we have to do something and we don’t want to do that because we’re afraid. So before a person can really really accept that what is is they have to deal with their fears so they can move on. …
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In this episode I do a little swerve mostly away from recovery but talking a lot about who we are as addicted people when we’re not with the people we’re addicted to. That being addicted to anything, a person or a substance usually means that we’re not maturing as a human being. It means that the things that scare us confuse us we find too hard to …
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In this episode we talk a little bit about gaslighting and what it’s like to grow up not believing that what you saw what you heard or what you felt was real. How we come to doubt ourselves to the point where we believe what people say over what we see. And this is a real problem when you’re dealing with an alcoholic. So come and see me on Twitter …
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Do you have critical thinking skills? When you look at a piece of media do you know what went into making it the way it was? A lot of how we feel about ourselves and a lot about how we feel about other people has been manipulated and if we haven’t been taught how to think about things critically we just react. Join me in a bit of a dive into how cr…
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In this episode we explore another one of the emotional regulation skills or ideas from dialectical behavior therapy and that is removing toxic relationships from your life. This is a lifelong skill and challenge but a lot of people in recovery have a lot of other people that should be in recovery in their lives that are wrecking havoc with their m…
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Absolutely nothing. If you’re in the 60s 70s generation as I am you’ll see this is a play on the song “War! what is it good for absolutely nothing “ but this is about depression, my own personal war. I know is a lot of peoples personal war so we’re going to talk about not what you’re depressed about, think that’s pretty obvious to most of us, but w…
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Today we tackle enabler‘s and enabling which most addictive people are certainly in that category. Also I discuss what it’s like to be enabled and how I had to break away from being enabled by my parents to actually grow up and become a human being. So jump on in remember to go to my Twitter feed @NancyMacLaren let me know what you think thanks…
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Do you feel the same feelings as a loved one to the point where you don’t really know where your feelings start and their feelings end? If so you might be addicted to people. Enmeshment is the very definition of being addicted to a person so we’re gonna talk about what does it mean how can you tell if you’re enmeshed with someone and what can you d…
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I am a little ragged this week due to all the stuff that’s going on in America at the moment. the title asks Is America an alcoholic because I realize that the feelings that I have about what’s going on are very a kin to the feelings that I had when I was living with active alcoholism so much chaos so much pain so much anger so much that’s not in m…
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There are three A’s in recovery; the first one is awareness, the second one is acceptance and the third one is action. The awareness is a part that comes actually before you even start step one which is all about acceptance and so in this episode I talk a little bit about becoming aware of a situation and I read a bit from the Al-Anon bluebook so t…
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In this episode I tackled the deep and complex topic of true love happiness and contentment and self-worth. I know that seems a lot for only 30 minutes but I’m a wizard at this kind of thing. No that’s not true it’s just scratching the surface of course will be talking about this more and more and of course I would love to hear from you and I can a…
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In this episode I talk about basic idea which is that a lot of us end up going to the hardware stores looking for bread. And when they don’t have bread some of us hang around just waiting until they might have bread someday or one time we saw they had bread so we stick around. it’s a little deeper than that but not much.so I hope you join me for th…
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In this episode we do discuss the idea that a lot of addictive people suffer from black-and-white thinking and also from judging themselves against other people and pretty much coming up short most of the time. and in this time of sort of forced introspection where we’re probably more of us are on our social media I think it can be really really da…
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Sticking with the idea of things in our lives that caused our life to be unmanageable, I talk about the phenomenon of intermittent reinforcement which you’ll hear is something that I think all people involved with Addicts experience ,waiting for the other shoe to drop, hoping against hope that the good person will be there when you come home versus…
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We’re going to take our first foray into step one and talk about how trying to control other people has made our lives miserable. I also talk about why the 12 steps is not a cult tell Violeta to listen to that. Thanks everyone and please go to my Facebook page addicted to people and leave me a message please subscribe whatever that means so that yo…
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What does the first step and the serenity prayer have to teach us in this time of such chaos? well it turns out a lot and this is a perfect opportunity to talk about the things that we can control and the things that we can’t. Join me in this overview of the first step it’s certainly not in depth and we will be doing that in the future but for now …
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I look into the idea that expectations are premeditated resentments. I tell a little bit of my personal struggles with not having expectations and relate it a bit to what’s going on in the world today. Please email me with any of your comments or questions at nmaclaren@netzero.com. And please subscribe if you want to make sure that you get notice w…
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In the third episode we talk about a couple more coping mechanisms of personality traits that seem to appear in a lot of codependent people. number one;the ignoring of what we call red flags ,really big things that should have been a big warning ( danger Will Robinson ). the second one is on the cultural influences that Have created the idea that w…
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When we talk about recovery from people it’s not so easy to pin down what that exactly means. It isn’t like quitting just alcohol or your drugs of choice or any specific substance or behavior. And that’s what makes it so tricky so let’s try to figure out what is it that we actually can see that we’re doing so that we can stop doing that.…
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Addicted to people it’s a weekly podcast dedicated to talking about codependency and recovery from that extremely chaotic and life-threatening condition. I share my personal journey over the last 29 years as well as take questions from the audience. You can find me at speaker but also please send me any questions or comments at my personal email wh…
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