Maddie and Annie are 20-something high school meat-hearts (this is a term we made up for platonic best friends whose relationship blossomed while sharing ham and cheese sandwiches, cheeseburgers and other meats). In a cruel twist of fate, they now reside in Los Angeles and New York respectively, with no choice but to catch up for one hour every week and broadcast it to the general public. Annie is a former comedy writer turned Masters of Public Policy student turned begrudging comedy writer, ...
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It was a tough decision on how to move forward today - we are a white-centered podcast by virtue of having two white hosts. However, we have always been a podcast that has been trying to move our communities forward in social justice and so today we're trying to do our part in that. This is a surface level introduction to understanding white suprem…
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5.3 The old crone drones and drones about all her old bones and being alone
1:08:11
1:08:11
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Pretty Sure the title of the episode says it all this week.By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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In this EPIC conclusion to our EPIC two episode arc premiering this EPIC season, these two pals just keep talking like they always do. Annie’s rate of crying is at least THREE TIMES BIGGER than last week’s episode. In fact she just snuffles her way through this whole episode, but she also turns a lot of corners in her ability to stand up for hersel…
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Season five opens with a brand new feature of LSF - Annie is an official (albeit temporary) resident of Los Angeles, fulfilling Maddie’s decade long dream of controlling Annie’s life. These two chia pets, growing and changing in the wind, are both the same and not: Annie’s been recently heartbroken and Maddie has suitors, but their attitudes and re…
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By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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Maddie and Annie do some deep digging on their tinder profiles and the ultimate conclusion is that we’ll both be making out with hot dogs this year. Maddie humble brags about her modeling career and Annie takes it upon herself to check Maddie’s ego. In the last episode of 2019, Maddie sends Annie off to her family wth a directive to wear her new Ti…
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4.9 The Brave Little Grilled Cheese
1:02:50
1:02:50
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Maddie and her therapist get creative with their vulnerability exercises which results in a Grilled Cheese from the Great Beyond. Meanwhile, Annie recaps a night at Tofu Tofu, named twice because one Tofu wanted a friend. In the grand scheme of things, we’re all single soy products looking for our fellow single soy products; we’re all pieces of bre…
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I wish it was Friday - my have a big ol’ cry day. Annie and Maddie do some deep healing as Maddie tries to figure out how to stop being the selfless Mother Teresa that she is. She’s off to a good start as she plays with a dog instead of listening to ANYTHING Annie says on this episode. As Annie speaks into the void about her ~emotional problems,~ M…
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A cultural inquiry into the patriarchal structures that perpetuate the most disastrous of all romantic scenarios, aka The Lesbian Standoff. For the first time in four years, Maddie pays attention to the hard-won insights Annie has into being a single gay. For the first time in four years, Annie flushes the toilet on the podcast. It all started with…
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Annie and Maddie stumble over their words in an obvious come down from the high of last week’s special guest, Miranda. It’s Maddie’s 27th birthday and we’re doing everything we can to show her how much we love her, including writing her a 5,000 word essay about how much we love her. We talk about friendship and unconditional love, and Annie’s face …
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And then I thought to myself, what if gender is a construct? What if sex is just something the medical community is trying to hold up on a pedestal and force on people at birth? What if this saga in the West Village should be called Gender Identity and the City? What if that’s enough? Annie Krabbshaw and Samaddie Jones check in with their friend Mi…
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…who shamelessly plugs herself at every opportunity, but is having a hard time getting a word in because her best friend can’t stop talking about a breakup that happened a whole four WEEKS ago. In this episode, watch as the beta gay tries to outmaneuver the alpha for air time - bragging about book length, reminiscing about glory days, and - oops, t…
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…who cried a river and recorded it for a wide audience. Our wonderful friend Maddie is still reeling in the aftermath of her breakup but she still finds a way to find gratitude, experience joy, and alienate all of our listeners by calling them homophobic (find out what you can do to convince her otherwise!). She’s doing so great, and is showering a…
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You’re used to hearing Annie ruminate on the women that done her wrong, but you, we, the world, are simply not prepared for the end of Maddie’s partnership. Annie and Maddie convene in California on the Krabbenschmidt sectional, exactly the same place where Maddie found Annie, crying over HER first heartbreak just 4 years ago. This is a whole new w…
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Well, friends, Annie and Maddie are back to their usual antics. If it sounds like you’ve heard this episode before, it’s probably because life is a series of stops and starts, and we’re only in our twenties and we have no idea how to be functional humans. Maddie is back from the tour of a lifetime, and Annie is back from her brief time as a normal …
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We end this season almost exactly as we began - talking tours and break ups. Maddie is set to embark on another month long journey opening for KT Tunstall, and she only has a mild case of neurotic fatalism. Meanwhile, Annie is FINE with her break up(s). She’s right back where she’s most comfortable - alone and proud. After starting this season with…
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3.14 Water, Water Everywhere and Not a Fan to Write Reviews
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Maddie and Annie essentially went viral this week when a young listener shouted out LSF at the Los Angeles Book Fair. The dynamic duo is slowly making a dent on closing that estimated listeners gap that falls anywhere between 8 and 4000. Maddie finishes the music video to end all music videos that will bring any polly pocket pop lover to tears. Ann…
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3.13 The TV Killed the Radio Star's Ego
1:05:55
1:05:55
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Doing! Maddie tries to flex her softball muscles during a music video shoot and it looks like all those years of watching Dottie “Queen of Diamonds” Hinson did nothing for her. While baseball stardom is not something that lives inside Maddie, the inevitable future in which she is a professional musician is. I swear it’s not just Annie’s mom goggles…
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It’s April Fool’s and life is a sick prank. Annie suffers some setbacks in her personal life, but in this episode she shows some of the most inspiring vulnerability I’ve ever witnessed, making me prouder than ever to know her. I (Maddie - hi guys, it’s me!) respond eloquently by using the two most back-handed and offensive adjectives one can use to…
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3.11 Talking about Talking about Talking about it
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1:01:18
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If you love Mother Blobbin you’ll love our special guest this week, Mother Blobbin. Robin earned this nickname for all the times she took young people under her wing. Whether she was forcing freshmen to go out and binge drink, or bringing them fast food and vomit receptacles the next morning, or, you know, driving around Durham with Annie for 6 hou…
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Maddie tests out “The Bumble” and wants to know why anyone would want to peruse the “bottom feeders” that use apps. The distance between Annie and Maddie ensures that Annie won’t smack Maddie in the head for her ignorance on swiping left and right. Even though Maddie is happy in her relationship of five years (she has a girlfriend, a second girlfri…
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Sorry dudes, we’re two ladies who are prepared to cut the length out of our lives. Maddie hates when her friends make reckless styling decisions, and now she’s disappointed in her favorite friend of all: herself. Panic sets in as she gets eleven inches of her hair chopped off, and she does her first ever mirror monologue asking herself “Am I Ugly?”…
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While the political landscape is uncertain in 2020, one thing that Maddie is betting all her money on is a couple’s vacation next winter. Never mind that it’s only been one date. Let’s hope that Maddie’s enthusiasm doesn’t scare any of Annie’s potential love interests away! Kamala may be running, but so is every girl that Annie brings home to Maddi…
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BONUS CONTENT - ACD at Dead Rabbits Reading Series 2/10/19
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This is a mid-quality audio recording of Annie's first ever reading. Maddie was there in spirit. Special shout out to Dead Rabbits Books for having me!By Annie Krabbenschmidt
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I heard her hair is insured to be fabulous by a wonderful greek orthodox hairdresser in Los Angeles. This week, Maddie grapples with ordering people around a photoshoot, Scheck throws a fit because she thought her girlfriend was going to look more like Regina George, and Annie silently munches on cacio e pepe to watch the drama unfold. You know wha…
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“Listen to your instincts,” our acting teachers tell us. “Walk around like a dinosaur, airplane that frat boy, ask the hip hemp lady about how to smoke a jizzy joint.” Don’t do any of that (especially not that last thing - it’s called a doob, Michael). Defund the arts. Burn it all down with your bright blue Bic lighter. Annie dives into a classic 4…
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3.5 Portrait of a Young Woman (Ann)
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1:00:38
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“…she’s a writer, and she’s so fucking annoying … she’s constantly being like ‘wah I have writer’s block, oh my gosh I have a paid to-do, I’m just going to go out instead'‘… that’s definitely something to make sure not to be…basically this girl is just really annoying, she’s just constantly talking about how she’s a writer, and constantly talking h…
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Sometimes, after spending what feels like an eternity contorting yourself into uncomfortable positions and poses, it’s important to find a way to let a little air in, and then slowly let it out. Let us listen for the collective out breath. I am of course talking about the important psychological work it takes to reflect on the internalized homophob…
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Because Lucky is dead and he couldn’t see it coming. Meanwhile, Annie’s love life is still tbd. Maddie needs some convincing to get back in therapy, but I’d like to make the case that paying eleven dollars for an eight ounce cup of matcha is a sign of psychosis. In her own fit of nervousness, Annie is up all night to get some new insight into her a…
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This is the story of the sly slippery slurper, who one Sunday silently slurped her soda while staring sullenly at her - and I’m done with this ruse. Maddie really loves to slurp her coke, but she’s willing to try a different way in the company of good friends. On this episode we talk about Maddie’s upcoming album and Annie’s new life as a fully sel…
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Well, friends, we’re back. 2018 went by in the blink of no podcasts, but we’re here with completely new lives and the same old girlfriends. With a newfound dedication to our regularly scheduled programming, Maddie and Annie are going to be updating you on their lives, which are more exciting than ever. Here’s something new: this episode is live in …
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HELLO LSF family!!!! Maddie here. How I've missed you! I'm incredibly excited to announce my new podcast, Everybody's Braindead. I love love love talking to Annie every single week, and we will definitely be doing more podding in the future, but I also wanted to share with you some of the cool conversations I have with people I've met here in LA. I…
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Sounds sophomoric, I know, but anything would be funnier than Annie's stand-up set this weekend. Maddie urges Annie to keep the artistic dream alive, even as Maddie, herself, allows her dream for a lucrative plant-sitting career to wilt and die. If this episode went a little over time, it's because Maddie has been living alone for the longest perio…
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2.5 Underneath Your Cast, There's an Endless Story
58:23
58:23
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woven complexly from fine virgin leg hair. Bear witness to the emotional process of losing one's leg cast. In another part of the world, Maddie celebrates love with other people who are also in love and it's just so great that everyone has love. I love it.By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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Maddie has an awakening as a performer while Annie crashes and burns. Either way it's hot hot hot!By Annie Krabbenschmidt, Maddie Ross
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A group breath at the end of Shavasana of course! There's nothing explicit about these Oms, folks! Maddie's encounter with a Facebook misogynist troll, on the other hand, is pretty f***ed up.By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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2.2 Toto, I don't think we're in Cannes anymore
1:03:08
1:03:08
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Maddie wakes up from a hot summer nap seeing rainbows, munchkins, and her dear Auntie Ann filling out magazine subscriptions left and right. Meanwhile, back in Topeka, Annie explores amateur film making as a sure sign of her impending quarter life crisis.By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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... then you must not be talking about Annie or Maddie. Welcome back listeners! We're glad you're here because we really need someone to listen to us. Maddie talks the highs and lows of being a Billboard artist. Karma claps back at Annie for that time she overdramatized a toenail injury. A toenail for god's sake.…
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If you assumed this title was a reference to Annie's lasting struggle with her international travel parasite, well, you'd be an attentive listener, but you'd be wrong. We learned more than we thought we would about porn this week. There's an award show and everything!By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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***Please note, that if you previously downloaded an episode 14, it might have had the wrong audio track, this duplicate is just for those that have automatic downloading turned on and might not have gotten the update*** You know what they say about assumptions. Listen as Maddie and Annie manage to offend basically every single person in America th…
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Annie gains a window into the tender relationship between two sisters. We put Maddie's past trauma on the table and cut it open with a razor-edged scalpel. We talk about Mackie's wedding, Maddie's hypothetical wedding, and the dark hole in Annie's life where love used to live.By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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If you’ve felt betrayed by our constant plugging of various products, you’re going to feel damn right stabbed in the back when you realize this whole season has been long-form marketing scheme for our personal brands. Maddie releases her new single, “You’re Still My Sugar,” sponsored by LSF, which is still sponsored by the one and only Passion Plan…
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In times like this we remember a quintessential Mean Girls quote: "I don't hate you because you're fat; you're fat because I hate you." This podcast may have 600 followers now (based on unsophisticated data analysis), but Annie's convinced that no one likes her. Maddie makes Annie read aloud some really sad text messages about her cripplingly low s…
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1.10 - Crunch, Crunch, Gay Night Clubs, Crunch, Crunch
48:05
48:05
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Annie makes her first endorsement of the season: Frosted Mini Wheats. As a result, Annie spends the first 10 minutes of this episode crunching away in blissful ignorance while Maddie talks only to herself. When Annie rejoins the buzzing din of reality, Maddie questions her about her appropriate use of local gay bars.…
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Get more information than you knew you needed about matcha. When Maddie and Annie aren't proselytizing the good word about earthy beverages, they talk how classrooms might contribute to a heteronormative mindset. Don't worry, next week we get back to what's really important here: more matcha.By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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Fountains of Wayne gets a tasteful redux. Dawn makes a power grab for funniest woman on this podcast. This week we laugh at her hilarious use of stereotypes, next week we lie down on Freud's couch with cigarette smoke filling the room and talk about how our parents put us in a box.By Annie Krabbenschmidt and Maddie Ross
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