My name is Carl Shepard and I am curious about the concept of "shared culture". Each of us defines our discipline or culture in a unique way.. This project is a spotlight designed to cast light on the diverse collage that is our shared culture in Missouri.. I plan to seek out exceptional Missourians of all types and ask them: "where do you draw the line?"
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Coach Maddox, host of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast, reveals why so many gay men experience loneliness and isolation and the steps they can take, so they can create deep meaningful friendships that help them experience a profound sense of belonging and community. If you have ever felt like you were on the outside looking in, you’re not alone. It's a common theme among gay men. Maybe you are wondering what it means to be an Authentic Gay Man? Maddox engages his guests in honest and raw conver ...
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Randy Neustifter - Identifying the best route forward
2:21:15
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Having trained for and conducted 100+ combat missions with someone creates a certain connection, a respect, a bond that allows them to relate to each other regardless of anything else. My good friend "Neus" and I linked up to record this episode almost directly 20 years after we volunteered to deploy on the tour did together. Its been a blessing ca…
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Nicolas Arnel - Taking the intentional approach
2:20:28
2:20:28
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Living an intentional life requires setting and working towards goals. Once we have made our intentions obvious it adds pressure. Todays guest understands this well, and Nicolas Arnel has made it his intention to win multiple jiu jitsu championships including adult black belt worlds. It is important for us to consider the generational differences i…
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Hello Authentic Gay Man Podcast fans. I come to you with a full heart. Whether you are a listener or a podcast guest, there are no words to express how deeply grateful I am for your support and participation. YOU are what has made this podcast great! Today, I am here to inform you that this is the final episode of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast. Sha…
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Grant Miller navigates aging and retirement like a seasoned pro
42:22
42:22
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This is Grant Miller’s third time to be on the podcast. As one of our biggest fans, he has a lot to say. In this episode he shares how he has gone from the glass half empty to the glass half full. Instead of fighting the aging process, he is accepting and flowing with it. He talks about his pending retirement and how he has intentionally reframed h…
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Victoria Kinsey - Finding a healthy balance, regardless of the situation
1:44:55
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Todays guest Victoria Kinsey has a big warm personality, a compelling perspective, and is a living example of the concept "discipline equals freedom". We cover a lot of ground in this conversation, with the theme focused around fitness, wellness, discipline, and the noticeable changes in our society even within just the last 5 or so years. thanks f…
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Josh Turkewitz - understanding authenticity
2:29:37
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This is Josh Turkewitz's second time on the podcast (espisode5). Today we dive into the concept of authenticity; which is his primary focus philosophically. This was a fun and thought provoking conversation that I hope you will enjoy. Please feel free to interact with the podcast. Let us know what you want to hear about, or give feedback of any kin…
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Dave Vinson - Own your path, and create the future you want
3:11:31
3:11:31
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This action packed episode was a pleasure to record. My guest, Dave Vinson, is the Gracie Humaita bjj gym owner in Camdenton, MO, and serves the Lake of the Ozarks area. He has also been a bail bondsman and bounty hunter for several decades. Some of the stories we get into have graphic elements, though the ultimate message is very positive. During …
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Jim Cartwright - Agism, Gay Elderism, and Remaining Relevant
56:24
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First let me say that the topic of agism is not just for those getting older! My guest, Jim Cartwright, is a holistic life coach. Our conversation was rich with different aspects of aging. I loved that Jim pointed out that agism has nothing to do with a specific age. Young people experience agism. The big ah ha was realizing that internalized agism…
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Ernesto - Broadening our horizons to avoid bias
1:24:47
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Having recently traveled abroad, our friend Ernesto has agreed to come chat about his experiences, and the nuance required to not look over the best places on earth due to unnecessary biases. Support the Show.By Carl Shepard
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Justin Mezetin is challenged with being gay, black, and Seventh Day Adventist
1:27:10
1:27:10
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After a lengthy silence, Justin Mezetin states that his biggest challenge in life has been trying to understand what authenticity really is and even more challenging, how to live in authenticity. He speaks of the different ways he didn’t fit in. He’s gay, black, and a Seventh Day Adventist. He says that in every space, he didn’t fit in because at l…
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Jamie Fredericksen - Defrag., and factory restoring the mind
2:54:24
2:54:24
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There is a growing movement in America leading people to seek out therapeutic experiential treatments for their persistent PTSD, addiction, or whatever other personal reason; in the form of psychedelics. My friend, and todays guest Jamie has such an experience, and shares it with us during this extremely important conversation. We do our very best …
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Cator Sparks talks about dating apps, mental health, and other alternatives
1:01:41
1:01:41
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My guest, Cator Sparks, is a gay man and a dating and relationship coach. Much of his work is around online dating and how to effectively navigate the challenges while making conscious efforts to safe guard your mental health and overall wellbeing. We talk about how to deal with rejection in a healthy manner and learning to not take the downside ex…
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Rob Hulett - Bringing Old School talent into the digital world
36:25
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It was my pleasure to have Rob Hulett over to the studio today. We talked about growing the @MWfightleague brand, about how it all started, and some of how it has gone along the way. Rob puts his heart into his work and this community. His events bring people from all walks of life together to have fun and celebrate being human. Come find out what …
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Jon Carl Lewis: Spiritual direction as a tool for more peace in your life
1:10:55
1:10:55
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Jon Carl Lewis is a spiritual director who works with those that find themselves lacking peace or clarity when it comes to how they navigate their religion and/or spirituality. Helping his clients understand the differences between religion and spirituality and how they merge or blend together. We discussed religious wounding and the shame that can…
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Brian Imholz - Imposing ones will while staying accountable, and giving back
2:19:26
2:19:26
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Today I take the project down south to the Cape Girardeau, MO area for an episode for Brian Matthew Imholz; who is a Gracie Humaita gym owner and coach. Our conversation touches on discipline, taking responsibilities for our choices, building competency through consistency, and I bring up an old favorite quote of mine in question form: perhaps it i…
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Wil Fisher: Opening Your Heart and Loving Yourself
53:39
53:39
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My guest, Wil Fisher, is a certified coach, founder of Wilfully Living Coaching, and host of the Queerly Beloved podcast. Wil brings such an inviting conversation about what it means to open your heart. He talks about the connection with personal power, truth, and knowing and loving yourself with compassion. If you ever feel armored up in social se…
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Randy Woodring has an awakening to his own lack of authenticity
59:18
59:18
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59:18
My guest, Randy Woodring, shares his journey with authenticity. Becoming aware of the concept of authenticity only about 3 years ago, Randy had an awakening of how inauthentic his life had been. He made it a quest to uncover all the underlying reasons that had been standing in his way. His honesty and openness with his life-long shame is a powerful…
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Serg Shepard shares about nude modeling and becoming a porn actor
56:05
56:05
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My guest, Serg Shepard, talks about how he has always been drawn to creativity and has a love for being in front of audiences. He danced, played instruments, posed as a nude model, and eventually found his way to the porn industry. This episode is SO unique. My takeaway is how Serg helps to dispel some of the negative biases around some of the more…
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Jonathan Lee makes an inspiring come-back after a significant break-up
54:02
54:02
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My guest, Jonathan Lee, shares his story of a relationship ending a few days before his 40th birthday. He was blind-sided when his boyfriend of two years ended their relationship during sex… WTF! He claims that the relationship wasn’t nearly as significant as the break-up. While it plunged him into a dark place that lasted for 4 months, it was the …
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Roger Miller shares a unique relationship with his wife and a boyfriend
1:10:17
1:10:17
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Roger Miller has been married to his wife for 41 years and has a 40 year old queer daughter. Three years ago, he came out as a gay identifying man. He and his wife have decided to maintain their marriage and he now has a boyfriend. He refers to his status as a mixed orientation marriage. My take away is how quickly Roger took ownership of who he is…
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Wil Smith talks about his life-long struggle for self-acceptance
51:26
51:26
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Wil Smith’s dream was to be a school teacher, but he abandoned that dream because he believed that he could never do that as a gay man in the 70s. Instead, he went to medical school only to find out that he hated it. Next stop was the pharmaceutical industry with a job that afforded him the luxury of cocaine and high priced escorts, in an effort to…
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Brian Falduto's role in a movie at age 10 has massive repercussions
51:18
51:18
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My guest, Brian Falduto, shares his story of how dramatically his life changed when a movie, he had a role in, hit the silver screen at age 10. He had a great experience during the filming process, not realizing how the boys at school would react to his character. Now, 20 years later, he’s been asked to return for a reunion for the original movie c…
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Larry Jacobson sails around the world in 6 years to find himself
1:03:47
1:03:47
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My guest, Larry Jacobson, gave up his business, his CEO title, his life partner, and all of his material worth to realize his life-long dream of sailing all the way around the world. He discovered his dream when he was only 13 and finally made his 6 year voyage at 46. In the end, he states that is the most powerful experience that led him to his mo…
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Wil Fisher goes from popular to outcast in one day
1:00:23
1:00:23
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My guest, Wil Fisher, talks about being very well likes with lots of friends through the 7th grade. Then, in the 8th grade, two girls started a rumor that spread like wildfire, leaving Wil’s social life and popularity in the proverbial shitter. It took about 3 years for Wil to recover, but the experience left a lasting effect. Our conversation cent…
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Paul Haynes reverse engineers becoming an authentic gay man
1:23:19
1:23:19
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My guest, Paul Haynes, has spent his life thus far, working toward a conscious authentic way of being. He recounts various aspect and experiences that have forged him into the man he is today. This journey all started with his mother dying from cancer, when he was only 7 years old. Our conversation was about reverse engineering the process of becom…
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Belida Han Uckun - My UFO enthusiasts need me!
2:16:22
2:16:22
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What a fun conversation abruptly ended by a power outage. This epic journey through the greatest hits of modern UFO/UAP lore paints a curious and optimistic outlook on the situation we find ourselves in. Thank you Belida for everything, you are a great friend, a great host, and always a pleasure to collaborate with. Support the Show.…
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Jarrod Bruce Lee's amazing story of restoring his child-like authenticity in his early 30s
1:10:40
1:10:40
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My guest, Jarrod Bruce Lee, identifies as an authentic gay man. He shares his journey from childhood to present, recounting the many experiences that carried him away from the authenticity that he came into the world with. Physical and emotional violence between his parents and living in fear. The weight of his father’s disapproval. Realizing he wa…
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Craig Cullinane tackles body shame head-on
1:10:48
1:10:48
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Craig Cullinane speaks of how much body shame he experienced as a result of religious and family messages that he received growing up. His body shame was so great that he couldn’t even take his shirt off at the local pool. This translated into sexual shame that was debilitating anytime he engaged erotically. His journey and his wisdom learned will …
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David Bellamy finally lets go of "It's none of your business"
1:08:40
1:08:40
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My guest, David Bellamy, came out at an earlier time in life. But, for most of his life, he lived with the motto that “It’s none of anyone’s business.” As a result, he didn’t let most people know who he really was. He states that it was mostly a fear of rejection. Now, in his 60s, he has realized that the motto that he so strictly lived by, did not…
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Daniel Rodriguez Schlorff world turns upside down when his mother tragically dies
1:20:19
1:20:19
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Daniel Rodriguez Schlorff had his career on track, a nice place to live, and all the trappings of a good life. Then, at 27, his mother tragically died in an auto accident, up ending every aspect of his life. The loss caused him to question everything about his existence and big changes came about. The loss of his mother altered him forever. His sto…
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David Robertson shares his journey of physical, mental, sexual, and spiritual abuse
1:20:45
1:20:45
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David’s story starts with his account of being abused inside and outside the home with every form of abuse possible. By the time he was 19, he had attempted suicide twice and failed, which further added to his feelings inadequacy. He found himself in a psych ward, where he felt safe for the very first time in his life. David’s journey is filled wit…
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Douglas Henry Lewis Jr lives a life, fully expressed
1:10:15
1:10:15
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My guest, Douglas Henry Lewis Jr grew up in the south with many religious messages that told him he could never be successful, happy, or accepted as a gay man. He never allowed himself to subscribe to those hateful messages. In stead, he moved to NYC and created a life where he is fully and unapologetically self-expressed. For a young man of only 2…
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Hank Estrada learned to separate sexual abuse from sexual relations
1:07:38
1:07:38
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Hank Estrada tells a story of an uncle who sexually abused him from age 5 to 16. His struggle with multiple therapists before he found one that was truly qualified to help him. His journey to be able to completely and effectively separate his sexual abuse from his sexual attraction for men. This man has freed himself from the shackles of shame and …
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Grady Throneberry gets thrown into fire to rise from the ashes
1:07:02
1:07:02
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My guest, Grady Throneberry, the first openly gay police chief in Kentucky and a former bi-vocational pastor, gets thrown into the fire, when a spurned boyfriend outs him to his church and the city major. All hell broke loose and Grady went through the most painful and dark period of his life at 64. With sheer courage and determination, he came bac…
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Pete Simmonds spends two decades reclaiming his childhood creativity
1:13:44
1:13:44
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My guest, Pete Simmonds, was an incredibly creative child that had the creativity squashed out of him by a school councilor. He spend many years doing what others wanted him to do, but ultimately found that to be detrimental to his spirit. For the last twenty years, Pete has leaned into rediscovering and reclaiming that part of his being. Now, crea…
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Hello Fans, Followers, and Supporters. I Have News About the 2023 Season of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast. First, I wish to thank you for your continued support of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast. This podcast is only possible because of your support. No amount of guests or episodes are worth anything, if there aren’t people like you, listening and s…
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Alex Amorosi endures multiple relationships to learn to give to himself first
1:11:01
1:11:01
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My guest, Alex Amorosi, shares his experience of multiple relationships in row that all ended very much the same. In each relationship, he gave so much of himself away that there was nothing left for him. Then, he reached the point when his inner voice spoke so loud and clear that he couldn't deny it any longer. He realized that the voice had alway…
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Derek Mcguire Roe - The necessity of defense
2:30:39
2:30:39
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Having served as a Missouri public defender for 15 years and running, todays guest is a wealth of knowledge regarding local litigation and so much more. We talk hockey, jiu jitsu, jury selection, the changing times, plus a bit about how and why it is so important to defend one’s self. Support the Show.…
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Dan Babineau creates a peaceful and content life after losing everything
59:22
59:22
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Dan Babineau had a wife, a daughter, and a life that was completely centered around evangelical religion. When he came out at age 48, his family, his friends, and his church turned their back on him, leaving him isolated and alone. In the darkest time of his life, he had to figure out a way to start over, from completely nothing. While Dan speaks o…
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Rick Clemons has a bumpy ride after coming out in his late 30s
1:03:56
1:03:56
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My guest, Rick Clemons, talks about the wild ride of coming out late in life after many years with a wife and two daughters. During his first two years of being out, he refers to himself as being an asshole and how his ego was so engaged that he had to take a pause and do some self-awareness and forgiveness work to get his head on straight. If you'…
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Robert Lowther brings the less obvious side of the addiction conversation into view
1:09:18
1:09:18
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Robert Lowther shares a story about a topic rarely mentioned. While I hear many stories about men who suffer from some form of addiction and 12 step programs are common, there is very little conversation about those individuals that are in relationship with an addict or alcoholic. Robert shares two lengthy relationships with men that he "enabled", …
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Ty Loethen - GetTyFit and the martial arts of wrestling
2:20:00
2:20:00
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It was a great pleasure to record this conversation with Ty Loethen. Ty is an internationally accomplished wrestler, fitness coach, and local entrepreneur. You can find him on instagram @thecoachty. We discuss coming back from injuries, the importance of hard work, making space for different ways of life, finding common ground, the martial arts of …
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Fireside Chat With Maddox: The emotional and phycological damage caused by suppressing who you really are
1:10:06
1:10:06
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My guests, Brian Janes and Brian George recount their lives as closeted gay men. They both knew they were gay at an early age, but completely repressed that knowledge for several decades, both coming out in their early 50s. Ironically, each of them were married with two children. Their stories are somewhat similar in some ways and then very differe…
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Shawn Woods - Anchoring healthy communities with Jiu Jitsu
1:29:43
1:29:43
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today I am thrilled to sit down with my Jiu Jitsu coach Shawn Woods. He is a highly accomplished life-long martial artist and second degree Jiu Jitsu black belt. in this episode we go in depth on self defense, law enforcement training, competitive training, casual martial arts training, youth athletics, and how all of these can be maximized with Ji…
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Jim Soha shares his long journey from his "head to his heart"
1:01:07
1:01:07
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My guest, Jim Soha, talks about the various aspects of his life that carried him on his journey from "head to heart". There was his duel education in seminary and med school; his marriage to his wife and sharing 2 children with her; his divorce and coming out; his marriage to his soulmate, who died suddenly after 10 years together. I found myself r…
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Rhys Thomas - Acknowledging the word to uncover joy and peace
2:05:02
2:05:02
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Today I journey to my home town to sit down with a long time roll model and mentor of mine, Rhys Thomas. Rhys is a highly accomplished PHD chemist, educator, family roll model and so much more. Having been a highly productive member of our community for literally longer than I have been alive; I find his perspective incredibly valuable. Our convers…
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Andrew O'Malley refuses to conform and comes back to his childhood authenticity
1:10:20
1:10:20
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My guest, Andrew O'Malley, shares how free he was to completely express himself as a child. His parents never expected his to conform in any way. But then, as he got older and went to school, the pressure to conform became so strong, that he succumbed, living life as other's expected for over a decade. His journey back to his authentic self was fil…
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Grey Jacks' struggle with internalized homophobia and how he moved beyond it
50:52
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Grey Jacks shares his evangelical upbringing and how internalized homophobia had plagued him for over 10 years after he realized he was gay. It made it nearly impossible for him to come out. Fortunately, he had the opportunity to observe an older gay man that exemplified the man that he knew he wanted to be. Once he finally came out in his mid twen…
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Tom Whitener - Small steps, big changes
1:57:01
1:57:01
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Today I was able to sit down for a recording with Tom Whitener, who is a law enforcement officer for the city of Ashland, MO. We talk about recruitment, training, tactics, violence, bureaucracy, decentralization, plus, the future as it relates to keeping our people safe and secure. We take a deep dive into what it looks like when a police officer f…
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Tony Scott comes out twice while he reconciles his sexuality with his spirituality
53:54
53:54
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My guest, Tony Scott, came out to loving and accepting parents at age 16. But, his challenge was the church he had spent his whole life in, telling him he was an abomination. He finally came out and was really active in the LGBTQ community and all was well. Then, a once in a life time job opportunity to work on the staff of an internationally recog…
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