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After 7 years of being anonymous, 1.5 million words written about beer, and preaching the gospel of Barleywine is Life, Don't Drink Beer's Alex Kidd gets into the deep, dark world of podcasting. Joining him are his co-hosts, comedy writers and performers Stephen Loh and Michael Gabriel. Together they explore the absurd underbelly of the craft beer world while also discussing movies, music, video games, pop culture, and their sad, basement dwelling lives.
 
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Each of the Malty Boyz™ bring in two maple treats that will battle it out in a too sweet cagematch before being thrown into the never disputed Power Rankings. Who will reign atop the sticky mountain of tapped sap? Before getting into the Bottle Share, Michael leads Alex and Stephen in a game of "Beer or Maple Syrup Review?" In the Beer News, pickle…
 
Fresh out the linen closet, it's a special bonus Malt-terrogation with Paul Arney, owner and head brewer of The Ale Apothecary! He gives perhaps the most unique answer to "If money was no issue what's the next piece of non-essential brewing equipment you'd buy?" but for a brewer that uses hollowed out spruce trees as lauter tuns the answer should b…
 
Hop in the Malty Cruiser and head straight to the orchards because this week it's a New Glarus bang-bang when the Patreon votes to have the highest rated fruit beer according to RateBeer.com to kick off the show. Then Stephen brings in a New Glarus brew for the Bottleshare while Alex goes the ol' barleywine route and Michael goes the ol' homer Ohio…
 
The Malty Boyz™ drink one of the highest rated beers they've ever had on the show. Almost impossible to aquire, one reviewer shouts, "JUST MAKE ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE YOU JERKS!" Yeah, why don't they just make enough for everyone? In the Beer News, the Seltzer Wars have begun as Imprint Beer sues Smooj over trademark infringement. Michael is a homer f…
 
21 beers will enter the Peanut Butter Cup Tournament of DOOOOOOM but only one will emerge the Peanut Butter Cup Champion! 15 beers have been seeded according to their Untappd scores which include Phase Three, Weldworks, Angry Chair, Mast Landing, Narrow Gauge, Modern Times, Horus, Good Word, Bottle Logic, Wiley Roots, Broken Strings, Aslin, Casa Ag…
 
This ain't no flyover episode as the Malty Boyz™ make a trip into the heartland of America. First stop is Nebraska with an offering from Kros Strain Brewing and they pair it with the amazing and delicious Runza. Are these Runzas little pockets of joy or an abomination waiting to happen? Then they head over to Kansas for a barleywine from Free State…
 
Straight from our malty cellar and into your eardrums it's a bonus episode of our Malt-terrogation with Narragansett Beer head brewer Lee Lord! Hear tales of her humble beginnings at Watch City Brewing to now brewing Michael's favorite beer. Who said Rhode Island is a beer desert? For more Malt-terrogations and weekly bonus content head over to our…
 
Patrick Stewart, Vin Diesel, Agent 47 from the video game Hitman, what do they all have in common? They're all bald. In this batch, the Malty Boyz™ take a stroll down Hollywood Blvd. and go literally inside the actors studio to see what drives these chrome domed characters. In the Beer News, Playstation releases a beer brewing game that no one has …
 
Every week Alex labors over writing an elaborate script with jokes and runners and callbacks. It takes hours and hours of work that includes rehearsal reads, rewrites, punch ups, and last minute edits. The end result is a 90-120 page script. So what happens when Michael decides to use his improv skills to go off-script? Are the results funnier than…
 
The Malty Boyz™ dive deep into their own psyches in search of purpose and meaning. What will this recording session reveal about their inner being? What suppressed desires will arise? Will they ever leave the cave of dancing hype releases and return to the old money bottles of yore? In the Beer News it's follow up galore as what's old is new again …
 
West Virginia updates perfectly fine beer laws with more stupid beer laws and Stephen talks to some locals to get to the bottom of what happened. He learns about the real estate market, how hauntings increase curb appeal, then heads to the bar to tap a keg of Westvleteren 12. Ballast Point makes the 2-door sedan of beers: clear hazy IPA. Alex bring…
 
Four vanilla giants fight to the death in this Vanilla Showdown featuring barrel-aged beers from Anchorage Brewing Company, Moksa Brewing Co., Aslin Beer Co., and Modern Times. Who will reign supreme when the beans settle? In the Beer News, Live Oak defies Texas maskless orders and the comment section goes off, Platform Beer employees stage a walk …
 
Overnight your beers from Japan because you're granny sipping, not double-chugging like you should. I SAID A TEN HOUR BOIL, NOT A TEN MINUTE BOIL! On this episode, the Malty Boyz™ don't have friends, they have family. They check in on Del Hall's annual beer Lent before they go diving for shipwrecked beers. Alex takes a chance on two beers. Michael …
 
Alex discusses his time representing Red Robin after a judge takes some creative liberties when reading their decision about Stella Artois glasses being 2oz short of a pint. In other Beer News, a brewery and health inspector get their signals crossed in a time of Covid. Alex brings in a barleywine from Australia brewed by Indian Ocean Brewing Compa…
 
With Mercury in retrograde, the Malty Boyz™ attempt to keep exceptional vibes during a trying time. Alex brings in a master work from master Cicerone Avery Swanson's new brewery Keeping Together Brewing. In the Bottle Share, Michael goes the homer route with a FOBAB gold medal winning beer from Wolf's Ridge Brewing while Alex and Stephen cruise the…
 
Jigglypuff returns after exile in the grasslands to give the Malty Boyz™ a life update. Former Small Batch guest and marketing executive Mike Costello gives us insight on Budweiser's Super Bowl commercial shenanigans. An aluminum can shortage temporarily 86's certain can formats. Rey Misterio Jr. is now the face (mask?) of Victoria Beer. Alex shows…
 
In this episode, The Malty Boyz™ have unearthed an actual audio recording of the meeting that turned Alex's life around. In the Beer News, they discuss the recent scandal involving Boulevard Brewing then check in with Craft Beer Kevin to hear his thoughts about the announcement of a Brew Dog restaurant opening up in Las Vegas. In the Bottleshare, A…
 
The Malty Boyz™ are taking a closer look at breweries exporting hype and adjuncts during the Bottleshare. In the Beer News they discuss Hamm's latest marketing gimmick, Jim Beam stirs up repressed bartending memories for Alex and Michael, and not one but two logo related stories! TeeSpring.com/MaltCoutureOfficialShirt Head to our Patreon for weekly…
 
After a bout with COVID, Michael returns to LA and rejoins the podcast. Still suffering from the effects of COVID, he remained isolated and provided his own non-alcoholic beverages. Meanwhile, Alex brings in a bloody delightful offering from OEC followed by a final boss barleywine from Wren House and Stephen digs deep into his linen closet for a co…
 
2021 is off to... a start. Alex reveals a surprise. Michael reveals he caught COVID-19 and is quarantining in Ohio. Alex brings in an OG San Diego whale and a new money hype stout while Stephen tests ol' DDB's palate. In the Beer News, some old dumb beer laws get updated with slightly less (more?) stupid beer laws. Wear your mask, wash your hands, …
 
2020 is over and the Malty Boyz™ are looking at 2021 through rosé tinted glasses. Why? Because it's fun! Knowing nothing about rosé the boyz turn to what they know best, Pop Culture, and drink rosés from Post Malone, Dwayne Wade, and, the couple formally known as Bradgelina, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They enlist the help of ESPN Senior NBA Writ…
 
A batch a decade in the making featuring only eised beers. Multiple extinction ticks go down as Alex hunts down Hair of the Dog Dave directly from Alan Sprints, Samuel Adams Millenium, Southampton Double Ice Bock, and BrewDog Tactical Nuclear Penguin. The Malty Boyz™ close out the year in style with all these devastating beers for your listening pl…
 
It's been a decade of miserly ol' Alex scrooging the craft beer world unchecked but on this Beersmas Eve he'll finally atone for his DontDrinkBeer sins. The Spirits of Beersmas take Alex on an eye opening, bottle popping ride through his past, super past, present, and future. Does this experience leave Alex a kinder, more understanding Malt Maven? …
 
The Malty Boyz™ can't really talk about it because they're on a secret mission but Alex brings in a redemption beer that's a collaboration between Perennial Artisan Ales and WeldWerks Brewing Co. Then the Boyz™ drink the most recent batch of Alpine Great and Stephen's triple IPA theory rings true, but don't tell anyone. Intel says Goose Island hid …
 
Michael comes face-to-face with the Mandela Effect when he's confronted with how to correctly spell Malty Boyz™, the Berenstain Bears, what beers Great Lakes Brewing Company makes, and how Patreon works. Alex brings in one of the Four Horsemen of the Flanders Apocalypse. Stephen goes the discount rack route for a $1000 Side Project pie experience t…
 
Alex gives Stephen and Michael a Smooj and they are instantly hooked. Boy, do they love Smooj. It would be real cool if people sent them some more Smooj. If you have access to Smooj, maybe Stephen and Michael will trade you some rare beers from their linen closet for said Smooj. Doesn't matter which flavor, any Smooj will do. Just send them Smooj. …
 
Once again, the Malty Boyz™ sell out as they pour barrel-aged Chicago shelf turds down their gullets but this year they get to do it with the entire Goose Island 2020 Boubon Country line up. See if their prediction from "Goose It or Loose It" ring true or if their expectations and palates have changed since. teespring.com/maltcoutureofficialshirt H…
 
Sometimes fights happen around the Thanksgiving table and this year The Malty Boyz™ have put together a throwdown of epic proportions as four hazelnut beers duke it out in a cagematch brawl to see who is the supreme NUTSMASHER! In Beer News, Bud Light gets in on the console wars, haze tech levels up, and Malt Couture dabbles in true crime podcastin…
 
After months on the waiting list The Malty Boyz™ finally get to tick beer made for dogs. Ok, more like bone broth packaged in a beer cans but still... BEER MADE FOR DOGS! In the Beer News, a puppy contest gets cancelled and Hill Farmstead raises money for a college that makes Stephen want to go back to school. Michael applies knowledge obtained whi…
 
What does a line producer do, you ask? Line producers manage the budget of a motion picture and day-to-day physical aspects of the film production. So now you know that. In the Beer News, Hoppy Floppy is embroiled in a Triple C (Costume Contest Controversy) and Shelton Brothers is forced to file for bankruptcy. Michael's patriotism makes Alex and S…
 
Alex doesn't care about Michael's feelings when he brings in a barleywine and a Flander's red. Michael doesn't care about Alex's feelings when he tries to flip a BBT and puts a price on Diddy. Stephen brings in a beer as voted on by the Patreon and momentarily struggles with going back to being an authoritarian. Jason Statham won't stop reminding e…
 
Show your feet, give me something pastry to drink. For this year's annual Halloween episode The Malty Boyz™ bend the knee for the pastryarchy for a pastry themed Bottleshare. Before they get to that, Alex brings in a treat in the form of Side Project's ode to Gabe Fletcher. In the Beer News, $100 six-packs of lager produced by Napa wine wunderkind …
 
The Jevne juice is flowing as The Malty Boyz™ drink a V.S.O.A. from Forager Brewery as voted on by the listeners. Then it's Follow Up Madness in the Beer News as they check in on The Jester King Protestor as she sets her sights on another Texas brewery, Green Flash and Alpine Beer Company come full circle, Goose Island break from Black Friday tradi…
 
Say, man, you got some rye? It'd be a lot cooler if you did. That's what I love about these Sazerac Rye 18-Year-Old Buffalo Trace Antique Collection bottles, man. I get older, they stay the same age. Let me tell you what these ryes are packin' right here, all right. We got 100% rye grain, uncut Old Potrero, single barrel, 124 proof, some Rittenhous…
 
Scab-a-de-doo-ba-ba Revolution Brewing Sanctuary 13 da-ba-dee-doo-skt-skt Lakefront Brewery Beer Line Barley Wine duh-doo-bum-bum-bum-jibbidy-bap Planters collab with Natural Light doobie-biddy-doo Wolverine boots collab with Pappy Van Winkle zabba-dee-doo Rodenbach bap-bapbadap-bapdadap Spencer Brewery Trappist beer dabba-dee-doo-ziggidy-zop... go…
 
Make sure your vapes are fully charged for this batch. You're going to stan so hard for all the crispy boys the Malty Boyz™ put down that you'll be dabbing for a week, king! Pass the cans of Wayfinder Beer, Burial Brewing, Tired Hands, and Three Weavers and let me get my crisp on, brah! The Beer News has, like, lawsuits, macro shit, and soft drug u…
 
If you give Craft Beer Kevin a smooch he'll ask for a whole orgy slathered in generic ranch dressing. This is the tale of Alex when he unboxed Modern Times' newest boxed set of barrel-aged beers. He also brings in some old money oxi juice. Michael goes full tourist. Stephen returns to the discount rack. In the Beer News, Jester King gets accused of…
 
The Malty Boyz™ become The Malty Yinzerz™ in this Pennsylvania episode! Drinking beers from PA breweries that haven't been featured on the show before, The Malty Yinzerz™ put their sweet lips on beers from Yuengling, Human Robot Brewery, Bullfrog Brewery, and Selin's Grove Brewing. In the Beer News, Fair State Co-op recognizes their employee union,…
 
Alex orders a half-decade old Xyauyù barleywine from Italy brewed with tobacco. Was it worth the price and wait? Michael makes the homer pick with a tasty treat from Highland Park Brewing. Stephen talks about his serendipity meet cute moment but with his bottle share beer. In the Beer News, union busting, NASCAR champion Michael Waltrip opens a bre…
 
The Malty Boyz™ take a sneak peak at what Brad Clark's newest project, Private Press, is offering. Then they open up some St. Louis juice from regular ol' Perennial Artisan Ales. MA! Big Jim has the keys to the Expresso and is driving and rampaging all over the Beer News! He's looking through his old Hamm's receipts, buying beer for dogs, and tryin…
 
It's been 36 weeks since the last Barley Battle and the responsibility to make the malty sacrifices to Lord Maris were left in Michael's hands. Now his smooth, soft hands are covered in sticky, barrel-aged repentance! And boy did he repent as Michael brings in some bangers for this special Barleywine is Life episode. In the Beer News, Alex finally …
 
Alex brings in some fabled classics from Ithaca Beer Company and Cigar City Brewing. In the Beer News, a Canadian brewery gets lost in translation and Creature Comforts set their sights on Los Angeles. Alex puts Stephen and Michael through a round of Goose It or Loose It with the 2020 Goose Island Bourbon County line-up. The Malty Boyz™ also announ…
 
Rounding out this Beers of Fame trilogy, the Malty Boyz™ head to the United Kingdom to learn about the "real ale" movement, cookie cutter pubs, drinking laws in Ireland, and horses. The Beer News follows up on Side Project's anti-counterfeit measures, the new face of mustard beer, and more Stone drama. Plus, Topo Chico gets into the hard seltzer ga…
 
Next stop for this old money train, the Malty Boyz™ head to Germany to drink more classics from the Beer Advocate Beers of Fame list. In this episode they tick Weihenstephan Hefe, Schenider Weiess Edelweiss, Ayinger Brauweiss, and Samichlaus Classic. In the Beer News, Stone founder Greg Koch claps back, beer gets brewed using mustard, and a retirem…
 
Take a trip down old money lane as The Malty Boyz™ revisit BeerAdvocate's Beers of Fame list starting with Belgian beers. In this episode they tick Saison Dupont, Westmalle, Piraat, and Trappist Achel. In the Beer News, BeerAdvocate gets hacked, Stone sues everyone, and Stephen realizes he hasn't had a proper meal in months. Head to our Patreon for…
 
What happEns when Gabe Fletcher releases his first pAstry stout? Why is Tavour hiring lizard people to create Untappd accounTs? Who's mAking all these fruited Berliner cans explode? Who's causing COVID to jump state lines? Why are these labels upSide down? What caused a "lapse in judgement" in Connecticut? Put on your tin foil hat and liSten to The…
 
There were adjuncts in any direction, at any release. If not across the Everglades, then up the Pacific Northwest or down the Mighty Mississippi to Decorah or St. Louis... you could strike waxed bottles anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were drinking was right, that we were winning. There they go. Three of Lord Maris'…
 
In this batch, Michael and Stephen reveal that being in the LA comedy scene is a detriment to finding romantic relationships. Don't cringe for them as they have already cringed a thousand tears into their dakimakuras. In Beer News, someone's counterfeiting Side Project beers, Constellation Brands Ventures invest 10% of what they paid for Ballast Po…
 
In this episode, The Malty Boyz™ drink a beer named after Mister Maraschino, Michael brings in a California classic IPA, Stephen brings in a beer from a New England brewery based in Maine, Alex brings in barrel-aged new money beer from an old money brewery, and all of them are mad about systematic racism. Is this the new normal for the The Malty Bo…
 
On this very special two-year anniversary episode The Malty Boyz™ sought out 13 of the best Hazy IPAs and threw them into a Malt Madness tournament to see who would emerge as the first ever Hazy Cup Champion! Representing the Hollandaise Conference are Bissell Brothers, Monkish, Narrow Gauge, Tree House, Trillium, and Weldworks! Representing the Su…
 
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