Spiritual leaders on the somehow-still-peaceful planet of Bardotta are disappearing, and that Queen Julia has called upon the Senate for help. The ghost of Senator Onoconda Farr chimes in with an undignified snort, but no one in the Senate has a sense of clairaudience or of irony, and so it goes unnoticed. Chancellor Palpatine calls the Jedi Counci…

Senator Amidala is apparently the only person responsible for aiding refugees, and apparently all money comes from the Banking Clan on Scipio. Amidala and her aide Teckla Minnau travel there and meet old friend, Rush Clovis. Clovis proves his good intentions by sneaking into Padme's bedroom, this bank has security almost as bad as Fortress Inquisit…

We open on Fives meeting with Shaak Ti. Shaak says that the chancellor wants the tumor. Shaak is going to take the tumor to the Jedi temple first, and Nala Sey protests. AZ3 runs into Fives in the halfway, and their clone guards aren’t super good at the whole guarding thing. AZ lets slip that Fives is to be mindwiped and assigned to Sanitation duty…

There’s a battle for Ringo Vinda, a massive space station surrounding an entire planet. Anakin leads the clones, along with twin Jedi sisters Tiplee and Tiplar, against the Separatist droid onslaught of the station. Anakin relays his battle plan, with Fives and Tup to assist the twins. Unfortunately Tup is overcome with a headache and a sneer forms…

Ahsoka is accused of bombing the Jedi temple and killing clones to cover up the crime and she's now on the run. The Jedi council, having decided that Ahsoka is guilty, chooses to send the most logical people to catch her: the two Jedi she has the closest relationships with, Anakin Skywalker and Plo Koon. After calling Barriss Offee to ask for help,…

Anakin and Ahsoka are leading an invasion of Cato Neimoidia in their starfighters. Anakin gets cocky and is covered in buzz droids. R2 says don’t threaten me with a good time and indulges in some fun sized droid murder. Unfortunately he can’t clear Anakin’s undercarriage, and it is filthy with buzz droids (I passed out from STD joke choice paralysi…

Darth Maul and Savage Oppress are floating in a escape pod in space. A lightsaber cuts a hole in the hatch, but that’s no lightsaber: it’s a darksaber! We see Pre Vizsla and is that Bo-Katan? Deathwatch return to their camp and it’s got a real master race vibe to it. Maul declares himself the true lord of the Sith so I think we can assume the Death…

The droids have successfully obtaining the super-secret data from the Separatists, and then gotten stranded in THE VOID. We open on the droids and Corporal/Colonel Gascon in a sub-ground level city that is… occupied…? by people. Sort of. Gascon and WAC try to get food and power, in the local diner, but are denied service. WAC follows some space-coc…

A blue(!) title card leads into our show. The Jedi have intercepted a Separatist transmission that they are unable to decode. They plan an undercover mission to steel an encryption module using troops the Separatists would never expect - droids! (Although the Separatists have used undercover droids before...). The droids will be led by Lilliputian …

The younglings are stranded on a swiftly tilting starship. They’re able to get Obi-Wan on the SpaceTime(™), Obi-Wan is pretty sanguine about what happened considering Ahsoka was captured and Hondo can obviously track the ancient sentient database that the Jedi rely on to build lightsabers. Jocasta Nu senses a disturbance in the Force and starts bru…

Our JFC is “He who faces himself, finds himself” (so I already don’t feel good about the Bechdel test). Our RA tells us that WAR is ongoing and spreading across the galaxy, and the number of Jedi is declining, so new Jedi, youglings, are being kidna… found and trained with their new “family”. The younglings must pass many tests, including the epony…

The rebels have stepped up their attacks, ambushing a droid convoy in the center of the city and definitely causing no collateral damage despite the sobbing children. The rebels declare they seek to overthrow King Rash and restore King Dendup to the throne. Dendup is slated for public execution. The Gerrera siblings want to free Dendup. At the same…

The planet Onderon has seceded from the Republic and joined the Separatist Alliance under a new king. Rebel forces have fled into the jungle and appeal to the Jedi for help. Oh wait, this happened at the start of the clone war by the legitimate government under a new king. The rebels claim he’s a traitor though so it’s totally fine. Anakin, complet…

Welcome to Season 5, the season with no name! We begin with the radio announcer telling us that Maul and Opress have teamed up to do bad across the Outer Rim - so bad that they kill two Jedi in new footage during the opening montage! The brothers secure a pile of ill-gotten loot on Cybloc, where Maul also makes formal the fact that the Rule of Two …

The Closing Crawl crew talks Star Wars Games: Video Games, Card Games, Board Games, Mind Games, Hunger Games - you name it and... by GAWD - is that Jon's Music?!?!? We'll discuss our earliest memories of Star Wars video and tabletop games, from the highest highs of the Decipher GGC, to the lowest lows of that one mission in X-Wing where you had to …

We open on a menacing RED title card and the Radio Announcer reminds us of Savage Opress' creation, rise, and betrayal of Dooku and Asajj Ventress, plus his new mission: to find his brother, Darth Maul. Dooku and Grievous discuss the rise of something sinister and we cut to Savage terrorizing a Waffle House at a spaceport, where some special dust-l…

Asajj Ventress has sought sanctuary with the Nightsisters of Dathomir. She meets with Mother Talzin, who tells Ventress to abandon Dooku and the Sith, and become a true nightsister. A baptismal ceremony changes Ventress' eye color, and a celebration signals her rebirth as a Nightsister. Meanwhile, Dooku learns that Ventress has returned, so he orde…

A plot to kidnap the chancellor by Eval Moralo that has been thwarted…? The Jedi decide to form their own plot. Obi Wan is shot and falls to his apparent death. We know falling is a jedi’s greatest skill, but what this episode presupposes is, maybe it isn’t? Obi Wan has a funeral and Anakin is absolutely losing his shit. Meanwhile Rako Hardeen star…

Our JFC is "Friendship shows us who we really are." The radio announcer lets us know that in hopes of ending the war, the first ever official meeting between the Republic and Separatists is being held on the neutral world of Mandalore. The negotiations seem to be going poorly, with the Separatists having a ridiculous demand that their government be…

On the planet Kiros, artisan colonists created a society with no weapons, only art and beauty. Let's see how that plays out for them! Count Dooku makes an offer the governor can't refuse: 'Safe haven' for the citizens of Kiros as slaves, under the control of Zygerrian Atai Molec! Anakin, Obi-wan, and Ahsoka arrive. The battle rages! When Obi-wan go…

We depart the Adventure genre for the War is Hell genre, as the clones decide whether or not to follow General Krell up river. With the spotlight on Rex and the Clones - how will they account themselves when faced with treason and fratricide? Plan of Dissent: This episode’s JFC is “The wise man leads, the strong man follows.” Our RA summarizes the …

This week on General Swap: can the 501st adapt to General Krell’s “choke the rivers with our dead” tactics, or will they earn the respect of a tough but fair boss? Legendary editor Water Murch takes a seat in the director’s chair for this story arc, which sees what the Clone Wars are like to the boots. Jony Ive guests as a model designer for the Um…

Mercy Mission Synopsis: Radio Announcer: Tragedy has struck Aleen. On the way down to the planet the clones see an Aleena riding a giant insect thing and says ‘Great, it’s going to be another one of those planets’ in case you’d forgotten that teenage boys are the absolute worst. The design of the Aleena suggests that Brian Froud has snuck into Luca…

Will the Nabooans ever be able to tell Gungans apart? What happens when one writer wants to make an homage to The Three Musketeers, and the other one to Kurosawa's Kagemusha? We answer these and other questions. (P.S. Anakin is captured by Dooku, and that's like the C story!) Our Jedi Fortune Cookie is "Who a person truly is cannot be seen with the…

We buck convention and produce a recap podcast that is shorter than the source material this week! Closing Crawl produces propaganda for the monarchy this week, in exchange for a boatload of eels as we put another squid on the barbie and heads down under the sea. There is dissension on Mon Cala between the "aggressive squid-like Quarren" and "their…

Closing Crawl will return to regular releases on March 15th, 2022! https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz9X-57K6-VV_GkUBaqvyeA Merch: https://bit.ly/spacetimetm https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.ap…

The Closing Crawl crew and friends disclose their origin stories re: Star Wars printed media, Trioculus gets a name check, and we tease Dawson's Creek writer Kevin J. Anderson. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/U…

While this episode of Closing Crawl is filmed in black and white, trust me, it's really funny - oooOOOHHHHH CHEWBACCA! We take on View Askew productions Clone Wars, Season 3 Episodes 21-22, Padawan Lost and Wookie Hunt. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ On…

Clone Wars finally pays off the foreshadowing we've all been waiting for since Clone Cadets. Closing Crawl sends Echo to a nice farm in upstate New York in Clone Wars: Season 3 Episodes 18-20: The Citadel, Counterattack, and Citadel Rescue https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.…

Lucas elucidates Anakin's chosen one status, and Closing Crawl is none the wiser. This episode is dedicated to Scott Swanson, hacker, mentor, friend. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/spacetimetm…

An important arc sees the canon (re)introduction of the Nightsisters and... Darth Maul is alive? Plus an episode called Witches of the Mist about Mother Talzin and Ventress doesn't pass the Bechdel test. Closing Crawl meets The Kurgan's alter ego in Clone Wars, Season 3, Episodes 12-14: Nightsisters, Monster, Witches of the Mist https://twitter.com…

Star Wars goes back to its roots: trade disputes, banking regulations, and Draculas. Closing Crawl negotiates Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 3 Episodes 10 and 11: Heroes on Both Sides, and Pursuit of Peace https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: http…

Rub2-D-Tug falls into a Black Mirror episode, while 3P0 ends up in a Saw movie, and Truman Capote ends up dead. Join Closing Crawl as we nail it in one take, resulting in no post credits sequence, for this week's review of Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 3 Episodes 8 and 9, Evil Plans and Hunt for Ziro. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://pod…

Ashoka discovers a Jedi power even better than falling, and Drew explains why Alderaan's art director doomed the planet to destruction in Star Wars, the Clone Wars, Season 3 Episode 7: Assassin. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/sp…

It took an anodyne tale of corruption to shatter a once proud cast member. See who cracks as Closing Crawl covers Clone Wars: Season 3 Episodes 5 and 6: Corruption and The Academy https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/spacetimetm…

Thank the Maker! for this one off appearance of the greatest man in Star Wars. Also Jared has an off night if you're into watching great men falter. Closing Crawl rescues Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 3, Episode 4: Sphere of Influence. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.c…

What do Noam Chomsky, Randy Johnson, and Rowdy Roddy Piper have to do with Clone Wars, Season 3 Episode 4 Supply Lines? Nothing! And yet for some reason they still figure into Closing Crawl's analysis of Star Wars: The Clone Wars - Season 3 Episode 3; Supply Lines https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/…

Closing Crawl drafts American Gladiators, and avoids judging books by their cover in this inexplicably long podcast covering Clone Wars Season 3, Episodes 1 and 2 Clone Cadets and ARC Troopers. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/spa…

The Closing Crawl crew and friends discuss Star Wars toys, brotherhood, and Rocket Firing Fett in this special palate cleansing episode between Season 2 and 3 of Clone Wars. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/spacetimetm…

Clone Wars Season 2 ends with a Bobang, R2 tortures some Gundarks, and Mace Windu gets a field promotion to Jedi Knight! Clone Wars Featurette with Dave Filoni mentioned in the episode: https://www.starwars.com/video/lethal-trackdown-episode-feauturette https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id153013329…

It's Godzilla vs. Kong in this two parter that proves Star Wars can be anything it wants to be when it grows up! Help Closing Crawl dissect The Zillo Beast; in Clone Wars Season 2 Episodes 18, 19. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/…

We expected less arachnids an in episode called Cat and Mouse. Also, we talk about Spacetime's (TM) broadcast-less communication technology. Closing Crawl recaps Star Wars, The Clone Wars: Season 2 Episode 16: Cat and Mouse. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.co…

Jared's R-Rated Michael Winslow as Michael Wincott earn this episode an Explicit tag, closing crawl goes deep - probably too deep - on this 23 minute episode. Mention code WHIRLY for a 5% discount We recap Star Wars, The Clone Wars: Season 2, Episode 17: Bounty Hunters. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-…

The Jedi Cruiser CloneWars crashes and Burns while attempting Film Noir Pastiche - and Closing Crawl has their worst episode yet! (Did we mention Uncle Ono is deeply flawed?) https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/spacetimetm…

Happy May 4th! Closing Crawl uses our one F-bomb and works blue this episode. Also: thrill as we try to describe Guernica in a non-visual medium! Chill as we encounter the best Jedi Fortune Cookie Ever! It's Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 2 Episodes 12-14: The Mandalore Plot, Voyage of Temptation, and Duchess of Mandalore. https://twitter.com/Clo…

Jared takes is to Film School and Drew teaches a course in Lit Crit in this Kurosawa-Campbell mashup (PARKOUR) in The Clone Wars Season 2, Episode 11, Lightsaber Lost https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/spacetimetm…

Grievous' tactical cape gets a workout, and Rex narrowly avoids a cult deprogrammer in The Clone Wars, Season 2, Episodes 9 and 10 Grievous Intrigue and The Deserter. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/spacetimetm…

Closing Crawl enters through the ear with this pastiche of Night of the Living Dead, Aliens, and The Thing bring terror to the Clone Wars Universe, in Season 2, Episodes 7 and 8: Legacy of Terror and Brain Invaders. https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch …

A tale of warm sushi, cold hearts, and flaming Geonosians. The Closing Crawl tackles Star Wars: Days of Our Lives, Season 2, Episodes 4-6, Senate Spy, Landing at Point Rain, and Weapons Factory https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https://www.closingcrawl.com/ Merch at: https://bit.ly/spa…

Season 2's (re?)-introduction of Cad Bane cements him as one of the great Clone Wars villains. Help us keep Ahsoka company in detention with Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 2, Episodes 1-3 Holocron Heist, Cargo of Doom, and Children of the Force https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296 https…