OMG, the babysitters are snowbound! And they’re very very surprised by this, despite extensive weather forecasts warning them about this exact situation! We had so much to say about this one that we couldn’t fit it all in one episode, so this is part 1 of 2. Will the babysitters die of hypothermia and/or embarrassment? Stay tuned! On today’s agenda…

OMG, Dawn’s gotta beware! There’s a snake boy loose in San Francisco! Also, the local kids are manipulating the hell out of the babysitters, and we’re here for it. Meanwhile, Stacey is having glamorous adventures and nobody cares. On today’s agenda: Bruce Stringbean; Kristy’s intervention consultancy; a frankly unreasonable amount of babysitting; e…

OMG, there’s a genius in Stoneybrook and it’s not Janine! Janine WISHES she was as talented as this kid. Meanwhile, we experimet with a pivot to audio drama. On today’s agenda: mandatory Disneyworld representation; unspeakable crimes against God and nature; Chekhov’s Toupee; Karen’s son makes Esther insecure; leave Mckenzie Clarke alone; Alan Gray …

OMG, Jessi’s got a wish! Because this is an Ann book, everyone’s wishes are heavily Disneyworld-focused. Ann also bravely raises some tough questions about tragic childhood illnesses, and then less bravely proceeds to answer exactly none of them. Meanwhile, we brainstorm activities for Aoife’s funeral and raise much-needed awareness of Simian Foamy…

OMG, Mallory’s on strike! We were very excited at the title of this one but it turned out to be less about labour activism and more about time management skills. And the value of airing your familial grievances in a thinly-veiled tell-all memoir. On today’s agenda: lawnmower-based punishments; grief counselling for mass extinction events; feels abo…

OMG, Stacey’s accused of being a jewel thief! And more importantly, this leads to financial problems for Claudia and she’s out for revenge! Meanwhile, the junior podcaster attempts to eat an entire box of staples. On today’s agenda: Stacey cleans house; spicy Pepsi; digestive system DLC; the Ozymandias of footwear; a distressing scenario involving …

OMG, Mary Anne wants Logan back! More importantly, though, she wants an A on her group project and nobody is going to get in the way of that. Not Logan, not Cokie, not a particularly exhausting B-plot. On today’s agenda: an unexpected Pete Black redemption arc; Karen has not forgiven Kerry Bruno; Hot Dog Laws; a very specific concept of romance; si…

OMG, there’s a Baby Parade! Kristy and the gang grapple with the age-old question “What if illegal daycare, but on a poorly-conceived parade float?" It's a difficult one to answer, because Ann categorically does not know what a float is. Meanwhile, we have an idea for a TV procedural that is going to make us all extremely rich. On today’s agenda: S…

OMG, the girls are going to New York! Again! There's Edwardian ghost children, adaptogen cannoli, and an assortment of generic bystanders. Meanwhile, we have some dating advice for the many teens who presumably listen to this show. On today’s agenda: teenage mutant ninja cockroaches; Juilliard Junior High; the Jack Reacher movie casting we all need…

OMG, Dawn’s having a big sleepover! Unfortunately, the sleepover itself is the only part of the book that didn’t make us cringe violently. Well, that and the stegosaurus rap. On today’s agenda: we are thirsty for Watson and cancelling Richard; a tragic lack of Lusk merch; Mrs Rodowski has no shame; Ann doesn’t believe in research and we don’t belie…

OMG, Stacey’s finally having an emergency! It’s the pancreatic drama we’ve spent so long waiting for, and we’re all very excited. Also, Charlotte Johansson has every disease in the world, and it’s Mrs McGill’s fault. On today’s agenda: Funko Pop Roadshow; celebrity crusts; the world’s most depressing train trip; a deep dive into 1990s nursing fashi…

Hold your horses, folks, the Saddle Club are visiting a dude ranch in West Dakota! Things get real problematic real fast, everyone eats a lot of steak, and there’s a blessed lack of romance. Oh, and they cause a death or whatever. On today’s itinerary: we issue a much-needed apology; essential cow terminology; the manliest sundae possible; dying a …

OMG, Logan suuuuucks! He’s suddenly performing traditional masculinity and nobody is here for it, except for his hot cousin Olivia. Jenny Prezzioso is in a bad mood. We have a lot of opinions about mashed potatoes. On today’s agenda: a basket of cold tongue; Babysitters’ Agency bullshit; Mary Anne gets hygge-blocked; the babysitters try to make “ac…

OMG, Claudia got an A on a test and now everyone thinks she cheated! Well, by ‘everyone’ we mean her teacher, her parents, and Mary Anne, who is just the WORST in this one. Meanwhile, the Pikes are trapped in a hell of their own making, and we’re trapped in a hell of Jared Mullray’s making. On today’s agenda: a bijou spreader event; public sector t…

OMG, Mallory’s dad lost his job! The family makes minor economies for two weeks, he becomes a degenerate in casual clothes for a day or two, and then everything is fine again and they don’t even have to sell their ten-seater boat. PHEW. Meanwhile, Amanda Delaney has tragic wealth-related problems, and we are joined by a taciturn but lovable guest. …

OMG, Kristy’s got a mystery admirer! It’s a recipe for romance and/or murder! Also, time is a flat circle, and there’s some sports. And some ICONIC Halloween costumes. On today’s agenda: eldritch mystery admirer rituals; mandatory minimum scoldings; romantic similes that do not hold up; unfounded accusations of linguistic prescriptivism; the sophis…

OMG, Dawn’s dating an older boy! Luckily, he’s an insufferable douche as well as being a creep, so it doesn’t last long. Meanwhile, Mary Anne’s actually being canonically sensitive for once, and someone’s caught Kristy’s eye. On today’s agenda: false promises of child chaos; toaster oven vindication; hazing in the NICU; the best use for fake teeth;…

OMG, Jessi’s got a babysitter! And she’s phenomenally unimpressed! Meanwhile, Jackie Rodowsky is buying redacted chemicals at undisclosed locations and we’ve got big plans. Also, Barbie’s on the moon. On today’s agenda: the world’s tiniest violin; rampant volcanophobia; what to do with 30kg of dry ice; fake spider follies; a perfectly good pancake …

OMG, Claudia and Dawn are doing illegal daycare while lost at sea! How did this happen, you ask? It turns out they’re massively into sailing, just huge boat-heads, and they always have been, you just didn’t notice. Don’t worry if you don’t know anything about sailing, though – neither does Ann. We got a boat guy in to consult on this book and he wa…

OMG, there’s a mystery in Stoneybrook! Fortunately Stacey’s on the case, and it turns out she’s psychic maybe? The important thing is, it’s totally OK to drag your ailing babysitting charge around an unsupervised building site if there are ghosts involved. Plus, further discourse on microwaved bacon. On today’s agenda: a distressingly competent cov…

OMG, Mary Anne has encountered some boys! We refuse to call it too many boys, because it’s really not THAT many boys. It’s, like, a slight oversupply of boys. Meanwhile, we concoct elaborate hypothetical situations to psychologically torture each other. Just normal friend stuff, really. On today’s agenda: a disappointing lack of Catbus; baffling tr…

OMG, Claudia might be adopted and has to go on a journey of discovery and learn how to use a microfiche machine! Meanwhile, Emily Michelle is… basically fine, actually. On today’s agenda: science disappointments; the grammar skull; award ceremony trauma; fair pricing for witch labour; nobody in this book cares about data protection; phonetics phun …

OMG, Dawn And Mary Anne are officially sisters! In a shocking, unforeseen twist, it turns out that sometimes sisters have fights, exactly like last episode! But fear not, Dawn’s going to fix everything through the life-changing magic of gaslighting. On today’s agenda: HIPAA for podcasters; cutlery-drawer degeneracy; further research in the field of…

OMG, Mary Anne’s dad is marrying Dawn’s mom and the girls are going to be sisters! In an unrelated development, we learn that sometimes siblings have fights! On today’s agenda: completely imaginary cat drama; some baffling allegations; Karen Brewer must be stopped; subtle Laura Ashley product placement; the worst board game ever; a really super sal…

OMG, the babysitters are going on a winter vacation! Kristy breaks a boy’s ankle, we get short-changed on a ghost plot, Stacey wears the face off some guy, and the less said about Jessi’s plot the better. On today’s agenda: the Mallorys are a hardy folk; all babysitters and no Logan make Mary Anne go something something; we stan the Flugelmeister; …