Fightmaster MD public
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A weekly treatise on committing to one’s heart instead of hiding inside a career of acclaim, acceptance, and complacency. In 2022 at 33 years old, I left my career as a doctor, where I could earn $400,000 per year. I owed $200,000 in student loans. I quit because that life was killing me. And it wasn’t medicine’s fault. I have plenty of friends who love medicine, who love taking care of patients. It was my fault; I never wanted to be a doctor. I needed to find out what I wanted. My life was ...
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When I look back now, it seems I always meant to be a psychiatrist. Out of necessity. If I wanted to open up a door into a future that wasn't just a replication of my past, becoming a shrink was always the skeleton key. ... Book link: 32 Lessons from 8 Years Lost in Medicine Essay link: Written in the Stars: Psychiatry and Me…
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They say, "Wherever you go, there you are." I'd like to add, "and so follow your object relations." When I went to medical school for my family, I unwittingly melded medicine and family together. Only after I left, could I see the two as separate, make peace, and gratefully love them both. ----- Got a story of integration yourself? I'd love to conn…
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Life was "... not so clear to me as I have for a long time imagined." Thanks to Rousseau, I've seen my motivations for what they are: obscured by the lies of my whys... until I'm ready to see the truth. Today's essay link: https://fightmastermd.com/2024/05/16/all-my-whys-were-lies/ 7 Days of Aliveness Course (FREE): https://fightmastermd.com/newsle…
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I went to medical school to secure my family's love. I found out what love really is while becoming a psychiatrist. And ultimately, I left medicine to put that love into practice. .... Get free access to Ryan's 7 Days of Aliveness course: https://fightmastermd.com/newsletter/ Link to today's essay: https://fightmastermd.com/2024/05/09/the-hardest-g…
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The only way to live a life without regrets is to have regrets. Regret is where our story starts... as I came to understand this week by watching The Devil Wears Prada. ----more---- Article Link: https://fightmastermd.com/2024/04/25/the-betrayal-the-regret-the-wholeness-deliverance-by-the-devil-wears-prada/ Newsletter Sign-up: https://fightmastermd…
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I wasn't one for the jungle gym. I'm a kickball guy. I knew that once, it's just taken me awhile to remember it. ----more---- (Every Friday morning, I write an email of camaraderie, aimed at supporting you to build a life you love. If you'd like to join our community, you can sign up here and receive this week's email.) Essay Link: https://fightmas…
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Snoozing is harmless. Everyone snoozes, I thought to myself, when I chose to snooze today. After all, it's only nine minutes. But nine minutes matters. Ask my throbbing ankle. ------------ My first book, 32 Lessons from 8 Years Lost in Medicine, just published on Amazon. If you’d like a copy of the e-book, here’s a link to purchase.…
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I don't always know why I'm doing things. If it feels right, I try to trust the process. But on Monday, after an episode of inverse déjà vu, I knew precisely why I did what I'd done: 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨. ( I recently published my new book 32 Lessons from 8 Years Lost in Medicine. If you’d like to a copy, here’s a link to purchase the e-book.)…
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People ask my wife and I why we moved to Asheville. Often, we haven’t had an explanation other than it felt right. Often, I've thought we’re kinda crazy. But last night, I felt a little less crazy and a little more alive, knowing that there in a shed while picking up furniture I couldn't wait to get to work on, my mountain biking stoke had survived…
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Don’t worry about me, I have no strip clubbing to purge from my system, no “legs and eggs” brunches calling my name; but I do own another desire, one I neglected a decade ago, that I reckon with now as I start a different career. Until December 31st, I’m sending free copies of my book to anyone who signs up for my newsletter. You can join my commun…
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I don’t fashion myself a singer. But for this one night, last Wednesday night, I had to sing. Why? I have no idea, but I was compelled by something within that had to know. For a limited time, I’m sending free copies of my first book to anyone who signs up for my newsletter. You can join my community here, and get your book today.…
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It’s an interesting season of life, this one. And often, I ask myself this question. Some days, I can bear myself with grace. Other days, I crucify myself for not being good enough, wondering if I should pull the pin and get back to something I’m better at. How I live out this question, in this season, will determine if I can the avoid the familiar…
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I recently devoured The House of God. What a book, outlining the fictional intern year of Dr. Roy G. Basch, which makes one think about the empty promises of medicine. It makes one wonder if it was worth it. ----more---- From a life I was not, I learned who I was and learned 32 lessons I’ll never forget. Get my free e-book outlining each lesson, HE…
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Third year of medical school, on internal medicine, in October, I peered from a window and knew I was no longer a part of things. I wanted fall to be over, so I could find some future salvation where I’d once again know the seasons. By being 𝘪𝘯 the season. This week, I tell of my life now, through another window, back in the middle of fall, wanting…
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But there, sipping my coffee as I watched the still early morning saltwater, I realized every single second was meaningful. Orange County was never dead. I was never dead. If anything, the place brought me back to life. From eight years of inauthenticity, I learned 32 lessons I’ll never forget. Get the whole list today by joining my weekly newslett…
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But it takes time to take the medicine out of the man. Joy wasn't found in leaving. Joy wasn't found a year after leaving. Joy was found in choosing. If we let past conditioning own our lives, it'll never let go. But this week, a window opened, and I chose my way out. ... From eight years of inauthenticity, I learned 32 lessons I’ll never forget. G…
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To be tempted by the “best of both worlds” makes us human. To give it up makes us who we are. Working part-time, in the chillest job of all-time, finally spelled my exit from medicine (and sparked my deliverance). Sign up for my weekly newsletter for perspective on owning a life you love (Https://fightmastermd.com/newsletter/)…
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Good morning Dr. Fightmaster. My name is XXXXX, the provider recruiter for Napa County. I wanted to connect to see if you’d be interested in a position. Please give me a call/text back to discuss. One week ago, I reflexively snoozed my alarm but before my pillow fused back to my head, this message snared me. I opened the text and scanned with inter…
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When I went to medical school, it’s not that I’d chosen death; I’d chosen nothing. I thought I could ride the fence and have it all: acceptance, accomplishment, and happiness. Only, I failed to understand that the absence of choice is still choice. Because the clock ain’t stopping. At the end of residency, I knew it was true and hoped to never forg…
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In the process of becoming a therapist, treating depression and anxiety, and learning how to manage psychosis, that would have to iron out my shit. 𝙍𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩? ---- Join my newsletter (https://fightmastermd.com/newsletter) and get my FREE '32 Truths Earned on the Road to Wholeness after Medicine'. ABOUT RYAN FIGHTMASTER MD: I'm a board-certified psychia…
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Can’t find the exact quote but Matthew McConaughey wrote something in Greenlights along these lines: you can only leave a place once you’ve known you can live there forever. I’ll fess up, not sure I got that far with California, but I got close. Receive my '32 Truths Earned on the Road to Wholeness' today when you join my newsletter (https://fightm…
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I adopted a vegan diet in the spring of 2013. I was twenty-four years old and needed it, for many reasons. It was a five-year, cherished season that defined my identity, until it stood between me and myself—all told, me and life after medicine. If you’re already poking fun at the gravity in my tone and readying your vegan jokes, get your popcorn re…
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