show episodes
 
Artwork

1
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

John Brandon, Jim Banks, Matthew Van Zandt, Vanessa

Unsubscribe
Unsubscribe
Weekly
 
Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.
  continue reading
 
Artwork

1
Every F'n FF

Curtis & Karl & Alex

Unsubscribe
Unsubscribe
Monthly+
 
A FINAL FANTASY bookclub podcast with sassy and classy host boys Curtis, Karl, and Alex. Join them weekly for a journey through every FINAL FANTASY game, as we ask the BIG questions such as; how many cats are there in FF7? What does Sephiroth smell like? Why do the characters in FFX dress like that? Play along week-by-week, or just let them do all the grinding and reap the benefits!
  continue reading
 
Loading …
show series
 
Fallout 3 Part 3 - Gothroughmaze Square Roots - Episode 420 This time we're finally getting our Nic Cage on and STEALING THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. Also maybe the Bill of Rights and Magna Carta (??). But this requires doing some odd jobs for a robot and keeping Alias's Sydney Bristow alive, which is harder than it sounds. Also: - She Got That…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 419 Oh boy, there's more Fallout 3! And this time we meet Three Dog, aroo aroo aroooooo! Then we go on a caper to get a radar dish off of a lunar lander. Plus we save a boy from some ants, probably. And meet some rangers! Also: - The Legend of Zelda: Mysteries of Magic - Johnny Mixes up CDI and 3D0 - They had to sit on the Go…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 418 So it's now time for a new game! Huzzah! And it's a Fallout! This time we venture to the Capitol Wasteland and everyone is excited to leave the vault and see the world outside. But also Johnny is a magician and Jim has discovered the joys of Andraste's command prompt. Also: - VR Chat Is For Furries - The World's Original …
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 417 It's the end of Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth and ALL OUR TAKES ARE SO HOT! Was this game good? Bad? Did it stick the landing? What the hell happened? Listen and find out! Also: - Love Yord Fandlar - Long Pants Get Real Hot - Chadley Is The Architect - Aerith Did A Sliders - A Pride Portal - The Shell Houses Were Iconic - Aerit…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 416 Either this chapter has a HUGE CHANGE THAT PUTS EVERYTHING INTO A BRAND NEW CONTEXT or it has A VERY MINOR CHANGE THAT DOESN'T REALLY CHANGE ANYTHING and depending on who you listen to you may feel it's one or the other. So what is it? You'll have to play through Chapter 13 to find out! Also: - Advent Children: Scotch and…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 415 For once the game has some respect for you as you have to search for Dio and a stuffed robocat on this music-filled episode of Square Roots. Aerith drops her single, Jessie does interpretive dance, and Don Corneo's hype men bring early 90s bad TV commercial rapping realness. Also: - The Horse Heresy - Blah Blah Blah Versu…
  continue reading
 
Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 9 - Li'l Grape Nuts Square Roots - Episode 414 Teacher Jim's gone so it's party time on this episode of Square Roots! In this chunker of Final Fantasy VII we head to Nibelheim and find things a little less burnt than anticipated. Also: - - A Whole Lot of X-Men '97 Talk - Vanessa Is Too Lazy To Send 400,000 Emails - M…
  continue reading
 
Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 8 - Oh No Sweetie, You're Very Stupid Square Roots - Episode 413 Oh boy! Another memorable chunk of Final Fantasy VII expanded, broadened, padded and filled in ways both good, great and kinda okay. Some of us don't like the birds. Some of us love the birds. Meanwhile, Aerith grabs the mic at a Planetology conference,…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 412 On this week's episode of Square Roots we explore the Gongaga region of Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth and have one serious question: Did Aerith go to school? She couldn't, right? Because she was in Hojo jail? Was she home schooled? Was she Hojome schooled? We've got the answers for you, so listen and find out! Also: - Yet Mo…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 411 It's Vanessa's favourite part of the game, and you can easily see why: there's dance battles! Flexing bears! Spooky ooky hotels! Pretend ghosts! Mass shootings! Even more minigames! With Vanessa as this game's hype-woman, how could it go wrong? Also: - Matthew Bad - Twink-Petitors - The Ultimate Cancellation - Galaxy Rang…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 410 If she only could, Yuffie'd make a deal with Cloud, and they would swap their places. She'd be running up that road, running up that hill, with no problems. Come on, Tifa. Come on, Aerith. Let her steal this materia from you now. But Cloud is too busy with a little headache from the green static of repressed memories to l…
  continue reading
 
How do you feel about minigames? What about a whole chunker of minigames? Not interested? What if I told you it was a BEACH EPISODE! But a beach episode that only lets you pick out swimwear for three out of four of the humans in your party at the time. Yes, the plot is put on hold for a moment as we park Segways, go on a photo hunt, and play some D…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 408 Shine, shine! It's bald time. Finally us bald folks can see ourselves represented on screen in this rhythm game packed chunker of Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth! Plus you can finally donate to a non-Patreon related Matt bank account for some reason and solve a challenging boat puzzle. Also: - Paid in Beefaroni - Bring me pict…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 407 Johnny's out so it's another All-American episode, full of America's favourite passtimes: ball punching! Very long X-Men tangents! Chadley! Boob punching? Also: - Midwest Emo - Wrench Cheeseburger - Who's Galactica's Mom? - More Like Pottycast - "I love living in Rocket Town!" Vs "Fuck Shinra!" - Chadley in a Wig This Wee…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 406 Square Roots plays a totally new game! Okay, not TOTALLY new. Some of it is a quarter century old. But it's somewhat new! And it just came out! This is different! This is strange! Change is bad! But we're rolling with it. So we are playing Square Enix's Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, and get through the Nibelheim Incident in …
  continue reading
 
Bayonetta Part 3 - A Pair of Dorks Square Roots - Episode 405 Johnny doxes everyone in this eventful episode of our Bayonetta playthrough! We finish the game. Questions are answered, except maybe the question "is Bayonetta her own mother?" as Matt refuses to listen to any answer other than "yes". Also finally Johnny is cancelled. Also: - More Like …
  continue reading
 
Our good friend Bee returns to help us execute some precise goonwork to retrieve our stolen sphere from Leblanc! We discuss pleasure strats, hot new dress spheres, and a surprising reunion. Follow Bee on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/eyesonbee Follow Bee on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@eyesonbee You can find Every F'n FF on Twitter, Instagram, or …
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 404 The Bayonetta loving will continue until podcast output improves. In this glamorous episode of Bayonetta, we feel like f***ing celebrities as we're recognized by weird angel statue robots with Mystery Science Theatre tube arms. And Matt paraphrases an email! Also: - Solid Mike and Naked Mike - An Unpaid Ad for Canva - Not…
  continue reading
 
Steven from Daycare Dittos returns to help us finally get gooned up for our infiltration mission! But first we need to play matchmaker for a growing family of monkeys that have moved into Zanarkand. Hopefully we can find a relaxing spot to unwind after. Follow and listen to Daycare Dittos! - https://linktr.ee/Daycaredittos You can find Every F'n FF…
  continue reading
 
Bayonetta Part 1 - Lethal Weapon Joe Pesci Square Roots - Episode 403 Hooray! Everyone is loving Bayonetta! Sure, Vanessa is off due to injury and Matthew may be loving it only under duress, but that's good enough. Because loving Bayonetta is MANDATORY. And this week we start out the Platinum Games classic and learn all about the lore of the Lumen …
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 402 Finally, truly, we are in the age of Dragons. And we've really finished Dragon Age: Inquisition. Sure, we rolled credits last episode, but this one has Super Credits, with extra special Cassandra narration! Plus we may or may not lose a fan favourite character in this chunker, depending on your choices. Also: - No Spiders…
  continue reading
 
This week we finally catch up with Shelinda who's gone into journalism in Luca! Afterwards we hop over to the Mi'hen Highroad to see more familiar faces, and wrangle ourselves a Chocobo. To re-visit our first encounter with Calli, listen to FFX 11: At The Mi'ihen (w/ Darmock) [Timecode 00:48:00] You can find Every F'n FF on Twitter, Instagram, or j…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 401 I don't know how else to say it, but this episode should be kept far from your little ones. Why? Gazzie talk. Just. Lots of gazzie talk. Gazzies everywhere. Wall-to-wall gazzies. I swear that we've got it out of our system and next week you won't ever hear the word Gazzie again. Also: - Sony Has to Make A Game About Miser…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 400 We interrupt this season of Square Roots for a very special 400th episode in which we talk about the ups and downs of our nerdy lives since 2016, and constantly try not to get mired in talking about politics. THEN THE ROBOTS ARRIVE! Also: - The Rootin' Rootin' Cowboy! - BLEEP BLOOP GIVE ME THE SLOOP! - Johnny Has A Stupid…
  continue reading
 
Square Roots - Episode 399 Uh oh, it seems like something has turned Johnny into beserker mode, where he's all fists and elbows. And that is Bianca. Johnny goes red-pill in the face of destroyed head canon in this terrifying episode of Square Roots as we drink from the Well of Sorrows. Also: - Could You Sing That Like Dio? - Ghosts Have Birthdays -…
  continue reading
 
Loading …

Quick Reference Guide