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Susan Stiffelman is a family therapist, parent coach, and one of the country's premiere parenting experts, and the author of Parenting Without Power Struggles and Parenting With Presence (an Eckhart Tolle edition.) Susan's podcasts feature conversations with guests including Dr. Dan Siegel, Janet Lansbury, Dr. Kristen Neff, Dr. Mona Delahooke, Glennon Doyle, Dr. Jane Goodall, Jack Kornfield, Martha Beck, and many others.
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There is nothing quite like parenting--it’s something we want to desperately do well at, and it is simultaneously one of the most difficult things that many of us will ever do. We face fears, failure, triggers of our own emotions, often while experiencing physical and emotional fatigue. However, because of this, children have the capacity to be our…
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It can appear like people who are successful at achieving their goals simply possess an incredible amount of self control. That kind of belief lets us off the hook from creating the life we really want--we simply lack the self discipline, right? Well, it turns out that as we create habits that add value to our lives, we actually require LESS self c…
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We often receive the message that we can have it all; we can do it all. Social media messages, societal expectations, and our own self talk often feeds the lie that we can do EVERYTHING. When we don’t live up to the unrealistic expectation that we can do everything and succeed at everything, there is a cost to our mental health. In this episode, we…
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In this preview from the Tech-Wise Parenting Summit, Jack and Trudy remind listeners that being present and aware can help us engage with technology in healthy ways, rather than feeling drained and depleted, or turning to screens to hide from uncomfortable feelings. In the full summit interview, Trudy also walks us through a 7 minute Appreciation B…
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In this preview clip from the Tech-Wise Parenting Summit, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson talks about the impression a child is left with when we react with anger to their angere over screen time limits, and how it influences their future willingness to come to us when they're upset.By Susan Stiffelman, MFT
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Research indicates that preschoolers, on average, make three demands/requests per minute! Wow. It’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed. “Watch me!” “Get that!” “Where’s my dinosaur?!” In this episode we talk about practical ideas and tools that have helped us navigate the barrage of daily requests, questions, and demands in a way that allows you to main…
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In this preview clip from the Tech-Wise Parenting Summit, Dr. Anna Lembke (author of Dopamine Nation) suggesting that rather than turning to screens and social media to lessen feelings of depression, online activities may actually generate depression in some instances when long-term tech use fuels reduced natural dopamine production in the brain.…
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Susan shares a preview clip from an interview with Dr. Dan Siegel from the Tech-Wise Parenting Summit. Dan and Susan engage in a short role play to demonstrate how conversations lacking in the many aspects of communication missing in online exchanges can lead to disconnection and misunderstanding.By Susan Stiffelman, MFT
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Having a secure relationship with our partner is the foundation for a long, happy life. Building on this relationship we create meaningful and lasting lives that support our psychological development as well as provide a strong foundation for our children, careers and physical health. We loved reading Relationship RX by Stan Tatkin and we had to di…
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There are lots of decisions that we make as parents that are made out of guilt or a sense of obligation. In this episode we talk about how to navigate parenting questions from a place of wholeness in order to figure out what will be best for parent AND child. We talk about whether or not to do preschool and *spoiler alert* there is no one perfect d…
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Healing your body and spirit postpartum is a topic that is both under talked about and misunderstood. In this episode Katelin interviews Arielle Martone, doctor of physical therapy, yoga teacher and postnatal coach turned postpartum wellness coach after having 2 kids and overcoming postpartum depression and pelvic pain herself. She has 12+ years of…
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In this conversation, Susan and Dayna talk about how important it is to understand that even if our child has behavioral struggles, they aren’t broken and we aren’t failing. They go on to discuss creating a plan for parenting storms, not taking things personally, and shifting our perspective. https://susanstiffelman.com/dayna-abraham-podcast/…
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The beginning of the school year is filled with many conflicting emotions for both our kids and us as parents. In this episode we share favorite tips, ideas and traditions that will help you start the year off right and from a place of wholeness. Related Episodes 207 // We Are All Good Inside: Parenting Without Using Shame and Repairing When We Do,…
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Fall is the perfect time to reset our rituals, intentions and systems. In this magic moment Felica shares 2 rituals that are resetting her emotional wellness. The first centers on grieving our losses; the small day to day things we try to push past. The second is a ritual for visualizing our intentions and future goals around parenting and reframin…
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One of the biggest power struggles parents have with their kids is around technology. In this episode, Susan talks about the importance of clarity as we set realistic routines around screen time, emphasizing the importance of being the “Captain of the ship” for our kids, to offer guidance and support. https://susanstiffelman.com/kids-and-tech-podca…
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Centering our minds and finding a place of peace in our days is crucial in modern parenting. Our phones are filled with demands that pull us away from ourselves, our desires and our families. On top of that the demands of our lives from appointments to chores call us away from creating connection and relationships. In this episode we refresh our de…
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Have you ever tried to teach your kid a value? Or help them stop taking toys? Or handle a conflict within a friendship or with a sibling? As parents we have a (sometimes) underutilized tool that can help us in these situations: play. In this episode Katelin walks through how to use role playing specifically to help work through these situations wit…
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Summer is half over and with all the fun comes exhaustion and overwhelm. In this episode, we address the concept of summer burnout, which can be applied to really any season of life. This episode was inspired by a voice message we received from one of our fabulous listeners. If you’d like to send us a question in the form of a voice message, just c…
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Stuck in a rut? Are you feeling tired or disenchanted with your life or easily frustrated with your kids? Our days are made up of small moments, small seemingly insignificant moments that add up to our lives. Are we racing through or are we practicing presence and engaging with our day day? Inspired by Ross Gay on We can do hard things; this episod…
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We all have negative experiences that impact our mental state day to day as we parent. It can be exhausting and disheartening to attempt to parent in this state of distress. Today we tackle a listener question on parenting while healing past trauma and parenting. We also hear from a listener seeking advice about her children's name calling, spittin…
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Who doesn't want peace and homeostasis in the family environment? So often we can get to a place of chaos; where our homes and families feel out of sorts. In this episode Felica shares her experience of stripping away outside influence with their cross country move and how it affected her family environment. She shares tips on applying her learning…
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The Enneagram is a system of personality typing that describes patterns in how people interpret the world and manage their emotions. It unpacks the intention by with we interact with others and make the choices we make. In this episode we unpack our Enneagram types and discuss how they helped us unearth shadow sides of our egos that were limiting u…
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A parent whose son complains about her singing asks for advice about helping him be more comfortable with self-expression and using his voice. Susan shares some interesting ideas for how to approach the situation. https://susanstiffelman.com/nurturing-expressiveness-podcast/
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In our lives there are things that we control, things we influence, and things we have no control over. In today's episode, Katelin explores one thing that is entirely within our control: our thoughts. Our thoughts have power over the way we see and subsequently engage with our world. She discusses tips and tools, including the work by Byron Katie,…
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In this excerpt of a class about homework with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, authors of The Self-Driven Child, Susan explores the anxiety parents often feel around their kids' unwillingness to take their school work seriously. https://susanstiffelman.com/stixrud-johnson-podcast-2/
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Have you ever driven in a city that isn’t well planned? The roads are often too narrow for the amount of traffic, and the flow of streets seem to have no discernible pattern. Navigating in such a place can be tricky and chaotic. In contrast, a city that has planned ahead of time what they want long term often has wide, orderly streets, and the init…
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In a few weeks our kids will be home for the summer, and our daily schedules will change drastically. A lot of jokes, angst and dread can surround this time of year. Let’s start as we mean to go on! In this episode, we are sharing some of our favorite tips for designing our summer. We touch on creating and setting boundaries from the start, letting…
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We LOVE books. One of the casualties of our current age and our screen adapted/crippled attention spans is that we don’t read as much anymore. In this magic moment, Taralyn gives her best persuasion for reading and gives lots of easy tips to keep or acquire the habit of reading in your life. People ask us all the time how we read so many books, and…
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We have all been here; there are times in life of discontent, resentment, perhaps even depression and often these coincide with a forgetting of ourselves. In this episode Felica interviews Tessa Brown, an artist and writer who focuses her work on womanhood and feminine energy and happens to be Felica's dear friend. They dive into reclaiming our you…
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In today’s episode we talk about how to deal with your children squabbling repeatedly and what to do when you feel like you just can’t get it together. Time Stamps 13:42 - How to help our kids have a positive sibling relationship 19:17 - Sibling situation is working out a social dynamic for the real world 21:50 - We learn in families how to read pe…
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Some parenting wisdom feels true to our core; that is how we felt when we read much of the wisdom from Hunter Gather Parent by Michaleen Doucleff. Today we are sharing our favorite nuggets from the book pertaining to disciplining our kids. The advice is less prescriptive and more in line with what we know to be true as parents and humans. Our child…
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Enjoy a fascinating conversation with Mei-Ling Hopgood about her adventures in parenting around the world, from raising her children in Argentina where bedtimes are often “flexible” to looking at how play, meals, and chores are approached in other cultures. A delightful discussion that may help parents feel a bit more flexible in their child-rearin…
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"My kids never help", "It's like pulling teeth", "Our family life feels disconnected", "They don't care about me or what I do for them"; frustration over the lack of help in our homes from our children can send us into a spiral of hard days. The sentiment that "kids will be kids" and we need to cater to their whims can topple the structure of our f…
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At a time when headlines are filled with dire warnings about the mental health of our adolescents, this information-packed session with Dr. Lisa Damour offers vital guidance for parents—including those with younger kids—about how to navigate the ups and downs that come with growing up. https://susanstiffelman.com/lisa-damour-teen-podcast-episode/…
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229 // Applying Our Four Pillars: Connection, Being Present, Unconditional Love, & Healthy Boundaries When we first started Find the Magic, we realized through research and experience that many of the strategies and ideas we found in books boiled down to four pillars: Connection, Being Present, Unconditional Love, & Healthy Boundaries. We labeled t…
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Friendships are exceedingly important, especially for mothers, in fact friendship is becoming a huge factor to over all health and wellness in a happy life. In this week's episode, we address listener questions and dive into how we can find and cultivate friendships and how that will look different in each stage of our lives as well as the age old …
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This episode is the encouragement and reminder you need to recommit to living. Felica touches on the tenants of why we choose to be intentional with our screen use and find presence in our lived reality. She offers practical tips and how to's for detoxing from our devices as well as mindset reframes for why we are doing so. Happy detoxing! Related …
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Are you carrying the weight of the things you own? Are you carrying the weight of your todo list? Do you think thoughts like "I should be able to keep up with the chores." or "There must be something wrong with me, everyone else is doing it!"Today's interview is with Leslie Alder, she guides caregivers through their clutter and chaos and out the ot…
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