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Living your life and loving it: navigating healthy relationships to find and keep that special someone in your life
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The Second Wind Leadership Podcast is the perfect resource for anyone who wants to take their leadership skills to the next level. Whether you're a seasoned leader or just starting out, this podcast is designed to help you renew your heart, mind, and soul so that you can lead and live differently. Hosted by James Wilson Jr., a campus pastor and leadership student, this podcast features practical tips and engaging stories from everyday leaders who have found success in different arenas. You c ...
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No one ever wants to think about it and no matter how gently and thoughtfully it is done, it is almost always very hurtful. In this episode, Alvean and Doug take up the issue with some helpful thoughts on how best to handle a breakup whether you are initiating or the recipient. They offer some suggestions on how to help avoid anger and recriminatio…
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For most couples the arrival of their first child is both a blessing and long dreamed of moment. But it can also be challenging for both parents. Demands on time and patience, fears about preparedness, added financial burdens, and potential disagreements about parenting are just a few of the bumps in the road new parents can encounter. In this epis…
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Satisfying relationships can be challenged by many external factors, not least among these family and friends who feel it is appropriate to weigh in on a couple’s privacy and insert themselves into the mix–often to the detriment of the relationship. We call these circumstances toxic –as they can poison an otherwise positive relationship or inflate …
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Some may see them as May December romances, others find significant age differences in relationships a bit cringy. But the real question is does age truly matter? In this episode Alvean and Doug take on this sometime thorny subject with their usual fresh insights and real world examples. For a full transcript click here: LL48-Does Age Matter?…
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Friends and family can be part of a wonderful network of love and support, but there is one thing couples should never do, and that is to involve eaither into their lives as armchair therapists or relationship counselors. Despite what they may say or do, family and friends have conscious and unconscious biases, they are untrained and almost always …
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Love can be conditional or unconditional we are told and of the two most people yearn for unconditional love. But is that ever truly the case? Can we ever be loved just the way we are or are we destined to find that our significant other wants to change us–just a little bit? In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how couples support each other…
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At some point in life most of us ask ourselves the existential question, why are we here–what is our purpose in life? In this episode, Alvean and Doug talking about the journey –how individuals alone and together can begin to explore answers to that question. Often it can lead to a deepning commitment to one another and to a richer and more fulfill…
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Tyhe first blush of a new relationship can be hot and heavy, full of chemistry and passion. But as time goes by and things fall into a routine couples might find themselves asking, “is that all there is?’ In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss how to handle a perceived change in the emotional climate and restore the balance that brought a couple …
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When troubles arise in a relationship it can sometimes result in the triggering of a fight or flight response. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about those responses and how to avoid them. For a full transcript, click here: LL42-Fight or FlightBy Doug Weiss & Alvean Lyons
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Those words in the wedding vows about remaining together and supporting one another in sickness and in health are put to the test when serious health issues arise. How couples handle these crises says a great deal about their bonds and their ability to weather the difficult storms that may arise in any relationship and at any time. In this episode,…
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Do couples grow towards each other as they grow older or further apart? Alvean and Doug discuss the ways aging can affect relationships for better or for worse and how successful couples keep the spark alive. For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL40-Growing OlderBy Doug Weiss & Alvean Lyons
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What happens when that first rush of love goes away--or diminishes in intensity. Is Love over--di you make a mistake or is this just a pause in a life filled with love? In this episode Alvean talk frankly about how love ebbs and flows and how we are the agents of that tide. For a full transcript click here: LL39-After the Love…
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It can be crippling to face the news these days--but in the midst of the negativity and strife there are ways to create an oasis of calm and serenity. In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss techniques for transforming your immediate world into a more forgiving and supportive environmwnt. For a full transcript, click here: LL38-Staying Positive in…
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Too often couples can struggle with control issues or resort to manipulation to get their way. Both are destructive, eroding the trust and affections of both partners. Instead try persuasion. In this episode, Doug & Alvean talk about the art of persuading and techniques for entering into an empathetic understanding of your partner's aims and desire…
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Learning to listen to one another--not just hear but trul listen with your entire attention is a recipe for an enduring relationship. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how we can learn to improve our listening and our talking skills so that we communicate what we want and need effectively to our partner. For a full transcript, click here:…
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And baby--child or pet, makes three--so the song goes. And it can be a blessed event when two become three, but it isn't always a smooth road. In this episode Alvean and Doug talk about how couples can navigate the changes they will face when introducing another being into their midst--a demanding, loving, and fragile being that can alter their dyn…
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Is it true that couples who have a strong and common spiritual life have strong and durable relationships? How does faith bind us and how do we navigate the tenet's of our faith in a complex world? Find Answers to these and many other questions in this episode of Love Life. For a complete transcript, click here: LL34-Couples That Pray Together…
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In this episode Alvean and Doug dish about the challenge and the opportunity to rekindle that spark of passion--the chemistry and fire that ignited your romantic relationship in the first place. It isn't all hormones--most of it is about the secret sauce of romance. For a full transcript, click here: LL33-How to Bring Passion Back?…
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Couples argue about a fairly narrow range of issues, including intimacy, control, habits and of course money. Avoiding toxic or nuclear arguments is essential to a solid relationship. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about ways couples can avoid the pitfalls that can derail them and how to take the toxicity out of financial discussions. For a …
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In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the fine art of flirtation. Why we do it, what it means and how to flirt without crossing a line into cheating. For a full transcript and more, click here: LL31-Why Men and Women FlirtBy Doug Weiss & Alvean Lyons
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A lot of books have been written about the differences between men and women--but often they offer very litte useful insight where it matters most--in relationship. In this episode, Alvean and Doug take on this time worn topic with some fresh insights about how men and women think, react and respond to one another. For a full transcript, click here…
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Is fighting normal--dos it help heal or break relationships? Is there such a thing as healthy quarrellng? Answers to these and related questions in this episode from Alvean and Doug. For a complete transcript, click here:LL29-Why Do Couples Quarrel?By Doug Weiss & Alvean Lyons
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We read about heartbreak, and may have suffered it ourselves. There is medical evidence that heartbreak can lead to poor health, even death, but is the opposite also true, can love heal? In this episode Alvean and Doug, joined by a special guest discuss the facts and the truth about the healing power of Love. For a full transcript of this episode, …
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Songs have been written about it --it's not an uncommon question. What to do when you find yourself attracted to two different people at the same time. How do you resolve this dilemma? In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer their life experience and wisdom on the subject and suggest some paths to resolution. For more, and a full transcript, click h…
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Some people are the main character of every scene in their lives. It is all about them and the rest of us are just supporting characters in their play. In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer their thoughts on how best to navigate should you find yourself in the presence of someone with these characteristics. For a complete trascript of the episode,…
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Is it possible to find happiness without being in a relationship? For some, being alone is a comfort, a retreat into a contemplative life that starts by being in love with oneself. In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss those aspects of being alone that are sweetened for individuals who find themselves in this state of being or choose to remain s…
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Controlling behavior is not an uncommon dynamic between couples. It can be overt or more often unrecognized but the struggle for autonomy contends with the desire to please and the need for clear boundaries that respect both party's rights. Alvean and Doug take on this fraught topic in thsi episode and offer some counsel on how to avoid finding you…
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You've probably heard it, maybe even believe that opposites are attracted to one another. But do they make for a good relationship? In the episode, Alvean and Doug explore the truth and fiction behind the saying and the true path to compatibility. For a full transcript of the episode, click here:LL23-Do Opposites Attract…
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The green eyed monster, jealousy, is at the heart of too many failed relationships. It generally proceeds from a lack of trust or a violation of the emotional investment one partner has made in the other. Whatever the underlying cause, jealousy is a difficult monster to tame. To learn how, listen to Alvean and Doug discuss the subject in this episo…
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Something happened and you and your ex parted ways. As is often the case, you both may have regret and after a time drift back into each other's orbits. Can love be renewed, can ex's reunite successfully? To find out what Alvean and Doug have to say, listen to this episode and read the transcript here:LL21-Getting Back with Your Ex…
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Break ups happen and we hope they can be navigated gracefully even though both parties may experience pain and a sense of loss. But what happens when your ex won't let go, and pain becomes anger and vindictive behavior? In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how survive such an experience and what causes it. For a full transcript of the episod…
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There are three ingredients for a successful and loving relationship: Honesty, Trust, and Empathy. In this episode, Alvaen and Doug discuss empathy--what it is and isn't and why it is such an important building block in emotional maturity and life. For a full transcript, click here: LL19-Empathy is a Lost Virtue…
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Too often our life experiences harden us and create boundaries that prevent us from having a fulfilling relationship. In this episode, Alvaen and Doug discuss the power of opening ourselves to others, being vulnerable to pain or hurt but also open to true love and deep emotional bonds. For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL18-Vulnerab…
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In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about life's priorities. How do we make sense of all the competing demands on our attention, time and affection? Is there a majoc formula for deciding what reall matters? For more and a complete transcript, click here: LL17By Doug Weiss & Alvean Lyons
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No one wishes to be in emotional pain but it happens to most of us at some point. While it may not seem so at the time, pain can bring with it a healing power--wisdom--that helps us avoid the circumstances that led to our hurt in the first place. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how we confront ourselves and learn to separate the pain fr…
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The easiest person to deceive is ourselves. Whether out of a misplaced sense of self protection, and inability to face reality, or avoid pain, we are accomplished liars when it comes to certain parts of our life. It is, however, extremely unhealthy and in the end self destructive. In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the ways in which we can le…
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It has happened to most of at least once, our hearts have been broken in the wake of a breakup, infidelity, or another violation of the all important trust partners must have in one another. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about self nurture--the tools that are available to us to heal our hurt and rebuild our sense of self esteem and wholenes…
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Last week Alvean and Doug talked about the fallout from infidelity and the path to rapproachment. In this episode they talk about the ways in which couples can prevent infidelity in the first place. Alvean illustrates the dry grass principle that sets up the environment in which emotional estrangement provides a fertile atmosphere for cheating. For…
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It is one of the most devastating things that can happen in a relationship--when one partner is unfaithful. While most often this violation of trust results in an end to the relationship, or a divorce it is possible to rebuild the foundations if both partners are committed to the long and transparent journey. Alvean and Doug take on this difficult …
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In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the best relationship advice they received over the years. For a full transcript, click here: LL11By Doug Weiss & Alvean Lyons
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Realtionships can be hard enough without the challenges of navigating two different cultures. They can also be fantastic and rewarding--but that requires emotional insight, tact, and patience to achieve. In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer some thoughts on cross cultural relationships and how to cultivate the right frame of mind for the couple a…
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One of the trickier challenges couples face that have children from a prior relationship is when and how to blend their families together. In this episode, Alvean and Doug explore those challenges and offer some helpful guidance to avoid the emotional and logistical ripples; For a full transcript, click here: LL09…
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Money is a very common issue that can cause friction in a relationship. While there are many different ways in which the subject can be fraught--in this episode Alvean and Doug explore the nuances when the traditional 'breadwinner' role is reversed and the woman earns more than the man. For more and a full transcript, click here:LL08…
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Have you ever wondered if perhaps the reason you haven't found mr or ms right has more to do with you than you think? If so this episode is for you. Alvean and Doug talk about ways some people sabotage themselves or create barriers that prevent them from building a loving relationship. For more and a complete transcript, click here: LL07…
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In this episode Alvean and Doug take on the subject of breakups. There is no such thing as a good breakup but there are better ways to say goodbye. Whether you are the one saying goodbye or receiving such news learn how to put your feelings in perspective and rise above the hurt. For a full transcript click here: LL06…
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Have you ever wondered if there is a special someone made just for you? Does God run a dating service or are we attracted to certain people based on subtle patters that inform our lives? In this episode, Alvean and Doug explore the reality of finding a mate and the stories we tell ourselves about how and why. For a full transcript, click here: LL05…
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How do you know if she or he is the one? Is this true love or something else? Discovering the boundaries and qiualities of your relationship requires patience, insight and an open heart. Alvean and Doug offer some strategies for answering the question, what's real in this episode. For more, click here: LL04…
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The full title of this episode is Loving Relationships expand our hearts. Nothing could be more true. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk from their hearts about their own experiences--how we can find a larger frame for our emotions and our care by building enduring relationships in life. For a full transcript, click here:LL03…
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Who we choose as our role models speaks volumes about them and about us. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about their own experience and offer counsel on our choices. A full transcript can be found here: LL02By Doug Weiss & Alvean Lyons
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Surely one of the most difficult traits to surmount is a passive/aggressive personality. Relationships require trust and honest communication to flourish. A passive aggressive partner presents a difficult challenge because avoidance is coupled with trust violating aggression. In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss this trait and offer insights as…
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