Best Imaginary Boyfriends Podcasts (2024)

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61. Literary Catfishing: The JT Leroy Story 46:46

3+ y ago46:46

46:46

In which the gals dish the dirt about a very Gen X literary scandal about the child prodigy who wasn’t. Digressions include plastic surgery, teenage edgelords, and what it means to be white-trash married.

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REMASTERED Episode 60. Safe Snorting and Dead Imaginary Boyfriends: The Teen Idols Episode 46:47

3+ y ago46:47

46:47

In which Carlye and gal pal Donna discuss their top teen idols and other assorted heartthrobs. Basically it was an excuse to make more 70s references. Digressions include the Mandela Effect, chewing tobacco, level-ups, and going to Hell. PS: The previous rendition of this episode had problems, hence the remastered track.…

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59. Stanning for Annie Wilkes, or: Putting the Whore in Horror 54:34

3+ y ago54:34

54:34

In which Sabrina and Carlye discuss their favorite horror villains. Digressions include growing up with the Night Stalker, starting beef with Huey Lewis and the News, and giving praise to Montana Duke's bleach-fried hair. Sabrina also wants to remind the chubby gals out there to be rude as shit so you won't be made into a skin suit.…

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58. Burn Down the Cornfield: Creepy Kids in Horror Movies 45:45

3+ y ago45:45

45:45

In which Carlye and gal pal Donna discuss the specific creepiness of children in horror movies. Digressions include bowl cuts, devil banjos, Robby Benson, and much much more! The gals also miss the opportunity to make a projectile vomit joke. Blame it on the 'rona!

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57. The Accidental Tourist in Quarantine 54:30

4y ago54:30

54:30

In which Carlye and Jill dissect Anne Tyler's classic novel The Accidental Tourist, a novel about a travel writer who hates travelling. Digressions include Manic Pixie Dream Girls, embarrassing crushes, and dated dog training practices.

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56. Notes from Quarantine Exile 49:46

4y ago49:46

49:46

In which Carlye and Sabrina discuss what they've been reading and writing whilst waiting out the 'rona. Digressions include skin care, library cooties, and tax the fucking billionaires already! This may or may not be a soapboxy episode. Holly chimes in as well.

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55. A Bowie-Jagger Sandwich: Fashion in Fiction and Other Ramblings 58:32

4y ago58:32

58:32

In which Carlye and Donna talk about their favorite movie and TV fashions as well as their own sartorial choices throughout the decades. Digressions include leather pants, cocaine haircuts, and what it takes to be 70s-hot. Plus listen to Holly as she barks a few opinions of her own. Errata: Carlye meant to say Pucci, not Gucci when talking about Ca…

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Episode 5 - Anger 16:42

4y ago16:42

16:42

Anger (noun: Strong feelings of hostility and displeasure). In the sports movie episode, punchy Molly McGuire releases her anger and winds up in the lockup. Zack and the Counter Clerk team up to get Molly a little emotional closure, and Delilah has a truly horrifying trip to the hairdresser. Cast includes Cate O'Connor, Dave Lamb, Kristina Benton, …

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Episode 4 - Depression 18:39

4y ago18:39

18:39

Depression (noun: Feelings of severe despondency and rejection) In the smoky cabaret of Molly’s imagination, all the characters are thrown into the spotlight in our musical episode. Molly finds out Zack’s horrifying secret, Zack comes to terms with his feelings and Delilah has to admit who she really is to Sam. Cast includes Cate O'Connor, Dave Lam…

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54. Don't Call It a Comeback: The Off-Topic Quarantine Episode 44:30

4y ago44:30

44:30

In which the gals stay extramuch on-brand and return from their hiatus way later than planned. This week’s topics include thirst-trap snacks, breaking up Stanley Tucci’s marriage, and figuring out your dogs’ zodiac signs. This episode is also dedicated to Charlie, our OG podcast pup who never failed to make his presence known. The poor little guy l…

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Episode 3 - Guilt 18:18

4y ago18:18

18:18

Guilt noun: A feeling of responsibility and remorse for a crime real or imaginary. After she finds out what her ex has been hiding from her, Molly puts herself on trial in the imaginary courtroom of her mind, Delilah convinces herself she is a terrible mother and Zack sings in the shower! Cast includes Cate O'Connor, Dave Lamb, Kristina Benton, Sim…

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Episode 2 - Denial 18:02

4y ago18:02

18:02

Denial noun: The refusal to believe a hard reality. Still tormented by the imaginary version other ex, Molly refuses to believe Real Jake isn’t coming back until she receives an eviction notice instead of an anniversary present, Delilah refuses to believe she has to go to a big family wedding and Zach can’t fathom how his life had been reduced to a…

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Episode 1 - Disbelief 19:09

4y ago19:09

19:09

Disbelief noun - The inability or refusal to accept that something is true or real. In shock, Molly summons her real life buddies Delilah and Sam to help her remove all traces of her ex from her apartment, in the hopes a radical cleansing will get rid of the larger-than-life imaginary version that has suddenly elbowed his way into her life. Cast in…

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MOVING ON - Trailer 1:38

4y ago1:38

1:38

Check out the trailer for our upcoming sitcom podcast, Moving On. Have a listen and get ready to join us for the first episode on July 23rd! Mild-mannered librarian Molly finds herself dumped and on the verge of homelessness when her son-of-a-property-developer boyfriend decides to dump and then evict her. Unable to deal with this sudden change, Mo…

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The Big Apology Announcement 2:52

4+ y ago2:52

2:52

In which Carlye apologizes for having ghosted. Mercury was in retrograde, a pandemic is upon us, and life even without those elements has been insane. So sorry again about this. Procrastination Planet is taking an extended hiatus and then returning with a biweekly format. Stay tuned!By procrastinationplanet

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21.2 REMASTERED: The Murder of Joe Orton 47:11

4+ y ago47:11

47:11

In which the gals blame Mercury retrograde for not having a spanking new episode and rerun a remastered version of their literary true crime deep dive instead because having a for-real hiatus messes up the algorithm.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.comTwitter: @ProcrasPlanetInstagram: @procr…

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53. Girl Waits with Gun: A Deep(ish) Dive into the Novel 54:47

4+ y ago54:47

54:47

In which Carlye and guest co-host Janene Biggs delve into Girl Waits with Gun by Amy Stewart. The novel is a fictionalized account of how Constance Kopp became the first female deputy in her county back in 1914. The gals discuss what worked and what didn’t and—SPOILER ALERT!—wholeheartedly recommend the book. This episode is proof you can love some…

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52. Creating Unlikable Characters...On Purpose 22:00

4+ y ago22:00

22:00

In which Carlye flies solo once again and discusses how to create an unlikable character your reader will still care about. This episode was inspired by a mini-rant from last week’s episode. Also, you might hear puppy snoring in the background.TRIGGER WARNING FOR STATUS QUO WARRIORS: There will be feminism. Go hug your Hot Pockets in your mom’s bas…

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51. Flesh That Mutha Out: The Shitty First Draft, Part Two 50:57

4+ y ago50:57

50:57

In which Carlye and Jill discuss how to flesh out a skeletal first draft without making it read as if you got paid by the word. They also discuss give share their thoughts on the revision and critique process and accidentally write a thriller. Digressions this episode include weaponized raccoons, unlikable female characters, and why finished baseme…

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50. Write It Down, Let It Suck: The Sh*tty First Draft, Part One 46:57

4+ y ago46:57

46:57

Our 50th episode, in which Carlye and guest co-host Jill White discuss the challenges of writing that first draft and the agony of the dreaded blank page. Digressions include senior dog problems, expiration date paranoia, and our secret basic bitch tendencies.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail…

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49. Solo Sesh: The Extroverted Writer's Guide to Surviving Solitude 24:30

4+ y ago24:30

24:30

In which Carlye starts the New Year by a) doing a solo episode, b) doing a minisode, and c) giving everyone out there a pep talk. This week she talks about the solitary nature of the writer’s life and how to make the most of it when you’re an extrovert. Digressions include beatniks, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and awkward analogies.Visit procrastinatio…

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48. Douchebags and Dunking on Duckie: A John Hughes Retrospective 42:43

4+ y ago42:43

42:43

In which Carlye brings back writer gal pal Janene Biggs to discuss and critique some of their #problematicfave John Hughes movies. Digressions include ditching school, the broke bitch life, and much much more. We also invited the podcast pups into the studio, so stay tuned for their shenanigans.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Emai…

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47. Instant Bestsellers: Writers in Film Versus Reality 45:28

4+ y ago45:28

45:28

In which Carlye and writer gal pal Donna Hearth discuss how writers are portrayed in film vs. writer-life reality. Digressions include fan-fiction, split-screen phone sex, and fake Scottish accents. Also, buckle up, poets! Donna has some hot takes about the genre.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@g…

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46. There's a Mystery for That! Our Favorite Fictional Detectives 44:32

4+ y ago44:32

44:32

In which Carlye brings back fellow outlaw writer Jill White to discuss their favorite detectives in books and on screen and also welcome the podcast pups into the studio. Digressions include foul-mouthed kids, senior dogs, and why quaint English villages are the most dangerous places ever.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Email us! …

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45. From Bogart Shaming to Yacht Rock: Our Favorites in Film Noir 50:39

4+ y ago50:39

50:39

In which Carlye brings back her fellow outlaw writer Janene Biggs to discuss their favorite film noir movies. Digressions include reading spoilers, resting bitchface vs. active c*ntface, and how we came to love old movies.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.comTwitter: @ProcrasPlanetInstagram: …

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44. Book Laundering and Feral Cats: Thoughts on the Self-Publishing Process 43:18

4+ y ago43:18

43:18

In which Carlye and special guest co-host Jill White discuss their own journeys in self-publishing. Digressions include career changes, saying “funky” a lot, and animals.You can get Jill’s book here.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.comTwitter: @ProcrasPlanetInstagram: @procrastinationplanetp…

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43. All Roads Lead to Swayze: Bad Movies We Love 43:42

4+ y ago43:42

43:42

In which Carlye and guest co-host Donna Hearth discuss their favorite guilty pleasure movies. Digressions include boarding schools, the true origins of Wicca, and that Transatlantic accent you hear in old-timey movies.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.comTwitter: @ProcrasPlanetInstagram: @pro…

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42. Kicking Our Own Asses: How We Keep Ourselves Accountable 38:06

4+ y ago38:06

38:06

In which Carlye and guest co-host Janene Biggs discuss how we stay accountable and (hopefully!) stay productive with our writing habits. Digressions include hot delivery guys, the overlap between the NaNoWriMo and prepper communities, and butt stuff.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.comTwitte…

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41. Trailer Park Murder Cletus: Movies That Legit Scared Us 46:33

4+ y ago46:33

46:33

In which the gals discuss movies that scared the crap out of them. Maybe that’s why toilet humor and horror tops their list of digressions for the week. Other digressions include time travel, creepypastas, reboots, and more!Spoilers for The Visit in this episode.Also, we apologize for the lateness of this Halloween themed episode. PG&E turned off t…

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40. Sexy Azz Ghosts: Campy Horror Movies We Love 47:33

4+ y ago47:33

47:33

In which the gals discuss their favorite campy horror movies. Digressions include reboot hatred, old-school health class videos, grainy 70s daylight and much much more!Possible spoilers for Slice in this episode.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.comTwitter: @ProcrasPlanetInstagram: @procrasti…

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3.2 REMASTERED: Our Literary Crushes Episode 47:09

4+ y ago47:09

47:09

In which the gals take a leave of absence because of their crazy schedules (not to worry, you'll have fresh content next week!). They also learn some humility on account of how rough their mic technique was when they first started podcasting.This remastered episode still covers the crushes the gals have had on various literary characters, but cuts …

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39. Vampire Loincloths and Failed Southern Ladies: Funny Books We Love 43:42

5y ago43:42

43:42

In which the gals discuss some of the funny books that make them laugh. It’s by no means an exhaustive list, so there may be sequels in the works. Digressions include imposter syndrome, Florida things, the Seattle Freeze, and 1950s lady hygiene.Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content!Twitter: @ProcrasPlanetInstagram: @procrastinationplane…

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38. Little Tongan on the Prairie: How We Get Inspired 41:16

5y ago41:16

41:16

In which the gals talk about what inspired their writing in the past, and what inspires their writing in the present. Digressions include old school beauty books, frontier dream cabins, teacher memories, and the poseur phase everyone goes through when they’re young (or perhaps the gals are projecting?).Background noise alert: The podcast pups reall…

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37. It's Not Slander if It's True: Authors Behaving Badly 50:53

5y ago50:53

50:53

In which the gals dig up old dirt and discuss the bad behavior of authors both online and in real life. Digressions include bathroom matches, bitches’ front porches, and Sabrina’s battle with a trademark troll.Visit the procrastinationplanet.com episode page for bonus content.Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.comTheme music: "Laser Unicorns"…

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36. Serial Killers and Space Lumber: The Revision Process 47:53

5y ago47:53

47:53

In which the gals discuss how they take their books from hot-mess first drafts to bestseller gold! Digressions include uncomfortable name spellings, WebMD rabbit holes, and the infinite wrongness of Neopolitan ice cream. Also revision is like remodelling a home. Find out why in this episode!Visit the procrastinationplanet.com episode page for bonus…

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35. Disco and Desert Living: Creating Believable Characters 43:28

5y ago43:28

43:28

In which the gals discuss what it takes for fictional characters to be believable and compelling. They touch on why universality and ethnicity aren’t mutually exclusive (i.e., diversity shouldn’t equal niche), adding depth, and finding the quirks in the ordinary. Digressions include being spoiled, complaint letters, and Saturday Night Fever.Visit t…

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34. Drug Mule Spreadsheets and the Satanic Panic: Thoughts on the Writing Process 48:11

5y ago48:11

48:11

In which the gals discuss their writing processes such as where they derive inspiration, outlining vs. pantsing, and the merits of typing vs. longhand. Digressions include Pinterest fails, silver foxes, and the hazards of old shag carpet.Visit the procrastinationplanet.com episode page for bonus content.Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.comT…

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33. P.S. You Still Ain't Sh*t!: Books We'd Rewrite 46:22

5y ago46:22

46:22

In which the gals discuss popular books they would rewrite, because they clearly know better than those who’ve made the bestseller list. Digressions include slut-shaming Odysseus, crafting with books, and Sabrina’s beef with Marie Kondo.Spoilers for Before I Go to Sleep around the 14:00-16:20 marks.MATURE CONTENT WARNING: The gals get a little tras…

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32. There's Always a Portal: Film Adaptions We'd Like to See 1:01:51

5y ago1:01:51

1:01:51

In which the gals discuss which books they’d like to see on the big screen. This week’s digressions include serial killer freezers, sticky dance floors, Laurel Canyon cokeheads, and the torch Carlye still carries for her high-school heartthrob Scott Bakula.Visit us at procrastinationplanet.comLogo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.comTheme music:…

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31. Let Go and Let Glitter: Giving and Taking Critcism 45:54

5y ago45:54

45:54

In which the gals talk about the worst part about being a writer: criticism. They discuss how to give a critique, how to take criticism, and also how NOT to do either of those things. Digressions include dunking on academic writing, the benefits of writing AT people, and why you should never mean-girl a YA writer.Sabrina shouts out our friend Speci…

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30. We're Totally Not Creeps: Authors We'd Have for Brunch 42:55

5y ago42:55

42:55

In which the gals blatantly pander to some of their favorite authors by namechecking the ones they'd like to hang out with in real life. Off-topic digressions this week include true crime, catfishing silver foxes, and dunking on grammar snobs. MATURE CONTENT WARNING: Maybe?Visit us at procrastinationplanet.comLogo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanar…

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29. Speaking Tall, Writing Thin: Diversity in Fiction 50:03

5y ago50:03

50:03

In which the gals discuss—you guessed it—diversity in fiction. They talk about the importance of diversity, reasons behind its lack in mainstream media, and tips on writing more inclusive fiction. This weeks digressions include bad eyebrows, being crazy for Swayze, Twitter beef with JJ Walker, and Sabrina’s feelings regarding Disney’s Moana.MATURE …

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28. The Tea on Miss Marple: Favorite Fictional Sidekicks 48:21

5y ago48:21

48:21

In which the gals discuss their favorite fictional sidekicks. Among other topics discussed are perfume shaming, marrying serial killers, and men who hit the wall before age 30.Visit us at procrastinationplanet.comLogo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.comTheme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo LicensingTwitter: @Procr…

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27. When the Muse Hates Your Guts: The Writer's Block Episode 49:25

5y ago49:25

49:25

In which the gals delve into the dreaded writer's block. They explore different theories as to its existence, discuss various causes, and offer up ways to deal with it. Other topics discussed are weird flexes, nighttime driving songs, Pink Flamingos (not for the squeamish), and much much more!Visit us at procrastinationplanet.comLogo designed by C.…

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26. Working for the Weekend: The Day Jobs of Procrastination Planet 43:38

5y ago43:38

43:38

In which the gals discuss the day jobs they've held in order to subsidize their writing careers. Among the other topics discussed: unicorn hair, accidental toilet selfies, and why Carlye is the foul-mouthed broad she is today.Visit us at procrastinationplanet.comLogo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.comTheme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian …

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25. REMASTERED Food Fight 3: The Snackening 51:35

5y ago51:35

51:35

Quick note: Due to some audio wonk, this track needed remastering. Our apologies for the glitches the first time.In which the gals indulge their ASMR constituents and stuff their faces once more. Topics discussed include gold diggers, redneck pets, and the clickbait reason behind Carlye's fried chicken cravings.MATURE CONTENT WARNING: Trashiness ab…

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24. We All Have Our Sh*t: The Insecurity Episode 44:49

5y ago44:49

44:49

In which the gals share their insecurities--both personal and professional--so their listeners can rest easy knowing they're not alone with their struggles. Also discussed: booty shorts, prayer candles, and using mindfulness to deal with said insecurities.Annoying obligatory disclaimer: Carlye is not an expert on mindfulness. She's just a gal who f…

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23. Humblebragging with Moll Flanders: The Baddest Broads in Fiction 56:32

5y ago56:32

56:32

In which the gals discuss their favorite female characters of all time. Other topics include blood spells, comparing term papers to bridesmaid dresses, and much-neglected Big Nasty fangirling. Also, Macbeth and Showgirls are not so different. Find out why in this episode!Visit us at procrastinationplanet.comLogo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.…

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22. Rainy Days and Trucker Pills: The Imaginary Novel Soundtracks of Procrastination Planet 41:48

5y ago41:48

41:48

In which the gals discuss the songs that inspire their writing process as well as the soundtracks they've curated in the event someone buys the rights to their past projects. Digressions include nostalgia, snobbery, and why Carlye will forever have a hate-on for Rod Stewart. Bonus Fitness Hack: Petey Pablo's "Freek-A-Leek" is a serviceable substitu…

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21. The Murder of Joe Orton: Our Literary True Crime Episode 47:26

5y ago47:26

47:26

In which the gals take a true crime detour of the literary variety. This week's episode covers the life, work, and murder of English playwright and LGBT+ icon Joe Orton.Also discussed: Alabama hurt feelings, hipster correspondence, and how being a screenwriter is like dating a f*uckboy.Visit us at procrastinationplanet.comIf you want more episodes …

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