A podcast about all manner of hobby games by Mike Walker and Mark Bigney. Bad games don't go easy on you, so we don't go easy on them. Thorough analysis via reviews, news, and discussion of topics in gaming. We take context seriously, we value your time, and we're not into hype. Just because games are fun doesn't mean we can't take them seriously, and just because we take them seriously doesn't mean we can't have fun.
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Solidarity, dear listeners, on this most august September Labour Day. Of course, Labour Day is the labour holiday invented for the US and Canada so as to undermine global solidarity. Nearly everywhere else celebrates International Workers' Day instead. One must marvel at the ingenuity of inventing Labour Day so as to undermine global labour solidar…
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Some important editorial notes! -the game walker mentioned is Völuspá, and no we don't know what work those accents are doing; -SVWAG does not engage in the eating of seal meat (no one's thought to offer, really); -we hope that Undaunted 2200: Callisto will follow in Battle of Britain's excellent example of having a badass Sikh pilot. Games Played …
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The full title of the Spider Lord is Spider the Third, by the Grace of God of the Unfinished Basement, Canada and His other Realms and Territories King, Head of the Subterranean, Defender of the Faith. 01:56 AYURIS: Ginkgopolis (Xavier Georges, Pearl Games, 2012) Games Played Last Week: 05:02 -Knarr (Thomas Dupont, Bombyx, 2023) 08:12 -Primal: The …
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It is Festivus once again here at SVWAG, where we shall once again vent our collective spleen over features of games that irk us. Sometimes we will assert that our umbrage is righteous and ought to be shared, and other times we will concede we are merely motivated by idiosyncratic pique. Our feelings, in either case, shall not be denied. 00:46 AYUR…
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Who is this Wilmot? What wares is he housing? Few answers are offered. We are merely told, rather imperiously, that we work at his warehouse. Sure, we have weekends off, but on occasion the fickle demiurge Wilmot commands us to speak in monosyllable, or move seats, or hide secrets from our colleagues. One shudders to imagine what terrible fate befa…
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#322: Michael Walker Revolutionizes Physical Therapy
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We here at SVWAG take pains to differentiate between two conflated ideas. We say "approachable" for rulesets that are easily learned and internalized, reserving the similar-sounding term "accessible" to refer to games that are usable for people with disabilities. Relatedly, MICHAEL WALKER IS BACK. 02:43 AYURIS: Oak (Wim Goossens, Game Brewer, 2022)…
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Our guest host this week is the estimable Mark Besada of the Golden Geek Award-winning podcast, Board Game Barrage! Known as the Green Tank because he is more swole than the Hulk (rumours persist that Lou Ferrigno learned all he knew about bodybuilding from Mark), he nonetheless exudes generosity and hospitality. Unless you throw down in Ghost Blit…
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Our next guest host during Michael Walker's recovery is Efka Bladukas, half of No Pun Included! Efka is an internationally-renowned board game critic and dog enthusiast, known for his detestation of whimsy and tireless tolerance of Mark's yammerings. He once split a mountain in twain with his bare hands while simultaneously inventing cold fusion, b…
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Our first guest host while Michael Walker is recovering is James de Moss, aka Jimbo! Many a human being has become lost in the deep recesses of Jimbo's sonorous voice, and thus one must take care lest you become consumed by his powerful charisma. Jimbo brings his extensive experience of digital board games, and board game adaptations, to SVWAG. 02:…
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One of the under-appreciated virtues of an auction game is that each session can provide its own economy. While daunting to new players, who don't know what things might be worth, their flailing speculation actually helps determine what things are worth. If they buy that share of red for a squillion moneys, guess what, that is what that market woul…
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While we pride ourselves on our internationalist focus here at SVWAG, we have been remiss in our multilingualism lately. While we reliably rendezvous with French on a semi-regular basis, a skosh of Japanese here and there, a quantum of Latin periodically, and whatever language AYURIS pretends to be, our Spanish could use some work. We thus devote o…
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There are certain portentous events that presage massive upheaval and transformative revolution, both good and ill--Mark regards travel as one of these cataclysmic convulsions (ill), but the same is true of the arrival of the man known as Doctor Stallone (good). Both have coincided in the world of SVWAG this week, a confluence more consequential th…
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All I need to know about animal reproduction I learned from Uwe Rosenberg. I suspect many people have The Talk, which in my case was my father teaching me how to play Agricola. Navigating my twenties in utter ignorance wasn't easy, but now that Uwe has told me about the birds and the bees (and the sheep and the pigs and the cows) via Agricola I'm p…
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After a prolonged period where we have not discussed Kramer & Kiesling (the Kramer & Ulrich duo yielded El Grande, which we mention rather frequently), here we see a bumper krop of K&K kollaborations. The gibbons are fickle, and even the mighty Wolfgang and Michael must yield to their whims. But fortune (and apes) have at last smiled on them, and w…
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#313: The One that Broke the Kallax's Back
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In the vast panoply of human misfortunes, it is often fruitless to try to rank misery. Was historical tragedy X worse or better than atrocity Y? It seems callous to ask. That said, thanks to the applied research of a retired ethicist with the aid of Reiner Knizia's Zoo Vadis, we have conclusively discovered that it is better to be extorted by a mar…
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Before the people of Quebec celebrated the Journée nationale des Patriotes (National Patriots' Day), they instead on the same day had the Fête de Dollard. A cynic might speculate that the timing of these holidays was chosen so as to pre-empt the English Canadian Victoria Day, and that cynic would be right. Games Played Last Week: 01:21 -Dice Flick …
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It is striking that no one submitted a question regarding the hues of our auras, so allow us to address the issue here and declare that amber is the colour of our energy. I regret nothing. 01:39 AYURIS: Capital Lux 2: Generations (Eilif Svensson & Kristian Amundsen Østby, Aporta Games, 2020) Games Played Last Week: 03:46 -G.I. JOE Deck-Building Gam…
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#310: Omnibus Questions Delta Aleph
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There is only one novel and commendable Kant pun, delivered in the novel and commendable film Hedwig and the Angry Inch: "I got kicked out of university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll, entitled, 'You, Kant, Always Get What You Want.'" 01:41 AYURIS: Mosaic: A Story of Civilizati…
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We are storytellers here at SVWAG. This week, we tell the stories of mismatched plagues with dead llamas posing as European dudes, of quixotic strivings for yet more skirmish games, of famous philosophers who hustled cards. Of course, if you wish to hear different stories, the power is yours! You have but to submit your questions for the upcoming O…
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No topic is off-limits for the upcoming return of our Omnibus Questions, as we demonstrate in this episode by tackling such issues as pre-Reformation papal indulgences. And if you were to guess which host brought up that little historical nugget, you'd be wrong! Possible questions: who would win in a street fight, J.G. Fichte or Nietzsche? Do sheep…
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While we have little experience with Ed Sullivan's TV offerings, his legacy is a fascinating one. While he capitulated to pressure during the Red Scare, he did show remarkable courage in platforming African American performers despite opposition from his sponsors. Quite surprising is that the illness that eventually killed him was kept a secret fro…
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It is said that both politics and religion are not good conversational fodder among people you don't know well (and perhaps not even for people with whom you are close), but sadly those are among Mark's favourite topics. The sun having been devoured may cause the astronomers to be delighted, but Mark knows a portent when he sees one, and he is conf…
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I never really understood the term "undead." I mean, it's a binary, right? If it's not dead it must be alive, at least in the context of things that could or were once alive. The negation never seemed to be doing enough work to imply what it was intended to imply. That is, until Walker and Mark got sick. They're not dead, but going straight to "ali…
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We haul ourselves off of our deathbeds to deliver this episode unto you. Prospects for our recovery seem dim, but we would sooner die than deprive you of that which is most sacred--namely content. Of course, illness may yet claim us, but we are far too stoic and noble to complain. 01:49 AYURIS: Stroganov (Andreas Steding, Game Brewer, 2021) Games P…
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We present to you a specially chemically-enhanced episode. Walker has been doping specifically in preparation, eschewing any sustenance other than military-grade lozenges. Mark will be performing his hosting duties while fully immersed in a tank of benzocaine oral painkiller. It is a good thing that the International Olympic Committee has no sway h…
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For reasons both personal and highly arbitrary, the SVWAG style guide (authored by gibbons, of course) does not countenance using the word "teach" as a noun, with the possible exception as a casual nickname for a teacher. Thus a game does not, in our parlance, have a "teach" except insofar as you call the person explaining the rules to you "teach".…
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#301: Leonardo da Vinci's Codex Leicester
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Before shouting about toys professionally, Mark taught ethics at a health sciences university. He discussed matters of life and death, of cutting edge controversial technologies, of war and politics, and matters of fundamental rights and duties. He has learned two lessons from those experiences: never ever talk about animal rights with a pit bull o…
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Walker was all like "there's this card effect in Successors" and Mark was all like "nuh-uh" but Walker was like "yeah, fer sure" and Mark goes "no way" and Walker says "way" and that's a 100% accurate transcript. 01:53 AYURIS: Dice Realms (Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande Games, 2022) Games Played Last Week: 04:07 -Lorenzo il Magnifico (Flaminia Brasini,…
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The theory of the atom first posited by the pre-Socratic philosopher Democritus in roughly the 4th Century BCE. None of his actual writings have survived. The great thing about the pre-Socratics is that so few of their works are available, you can spend about ten minutes (or less!) and have read as much of their stuff as have the world's leading ex…
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Every man wants to be a macho, macho man To have the kind of body always in demand Jogging in the mornings, go man go Work outs in the health spa, muscles glow You can best believe that he's a macho man Ready to get down with, anyone he can You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk His western shirts and leather, always look so boss Funky with his …
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Let us, following in Andy Schwarz's example, highlight the fine work of Nancy Skinner, a California state senator whose "Fair Pay to Play Act" granted college athletes in California the right to profit from their name, image, and likeness. This forced the NCAA to allow such changes more broadly. It hasn't been perfect, but let's acknowledge one thi…
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It has been many a year since our early days, our salad days when we were younger and dumb and didn't know what we were doing. Much has changed, in that we are now older and dumb and don't know what we're doing. But the inexorable march of time has at least offered many new offerings in the broad tent of dexterity games, and so it is past time that…
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A pretty solid rule of thumb is that if you've been disappointed in a kind of game, try David Thompson's version of it and see how delightful it can be. Hidden movement got you down? Sniper Elite is the cure. Abstract chunky tiled fighty thing didn't please? War Chest might please. Mediocre skirmish cramping your style? For What Remains is ready to…
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As ever, and with no clue what a lang syne is (much less an auld-y type configuration), we embrace the new year by commemorating the old. We would venture that the new year only truly begins once SVWAG has given its imprimatur on the best game published in the preceding year. The Julian Calendar was abandoned in favour of the Gregorian, and it is e…
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Heraclitus, an ancient Greek philosopher, claimed that you never step in the same river twice; for it is not the same river and you are not the same person. Such as it is with games! They are reprinted and thus reborn, all along some blurred spectrum of redesign spanning from carbon copy all the way to entirely new design. Let us not forget Heracli…
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"This here's a jam for all the gamers Tryin' to do what those rulebooks offer Get shot down 'cause you're overzealous Take too long, opponents get jealous Ok, smarty, go to a party Games are on the menu for everybody You wanna play a game that's more complexer But you're standin' on the wall like you was Poindexter A game is laid out, one not playe…
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Just before Mark is de-platformed, he would like to remind the SVWAG audience of two very important facts. First, he is but a man shouting into a can, and just because he doesn't like the thing you like doesn't make either less worthy of respect, dignity, and chocolate. He is willing to accept the possibility that he's Playing It Wrong and/or Doesn…
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A review of So Very Wrong About Games, not actually by Werner Herzog: "To listen to SVWAG is to court madness. One host is beholden to the delusion that if he utters sufficient words in a short period of time he may stave off his inevitable death, whereas the other grapples with the false consciousness of refusing to acknowledge life's meaninglessn…
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Dexterity games, dismissed by many in the board game world as children's toys (whereas, by contrast, we laud them as children's toys), can offer a unique window into the player's soul. A fine dexterity game is a crucible in which one's true character emerges. Are you an assertive, grandiose table-hog capable of great feats but undone by hubris? Are…
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There's no time no time at all we must get to the games there's been so many all the time one after another hurry hurry we must get to all of the games 01:26 AYURIS: Riftforce (Carlo Bortolini, 1 More Time Games, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 03:07 -Septima (Robin Hegedűs, Mindclash Games, 2023) 10:42 -White Castle (Israel Cendrero & Sheila Santos,…
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The shift from Beckett references to low-grade puns might strike one as jarring, but it is important to note that both hosts have essentially been twelve going on sixty for most of their lives. If it's not juvenile and/or obscure, it is difficult for the hosts to process--they become disoriented and frightened. In such circumstances, a nice Star Co…
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One has to be careful in buffet situations. There are so many options, and you are pulled in so many different directions. You must differentiate the false urgency from the genuinely pressing, and it is a test of your evaluation and timing skills to successfully navigate your priorities. What to do, and when? How much of what? If you fail to make t…
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"'Well, I remember it as though it were an episode ago' Said Walker the Host as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter May have nestled its way into his mighty throat Many a poor design had met its demise while staring point-blank down The cavernous barrel of this awesome critical machine Truly a wonder of nature, this urban gamer Walker t…
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On October 27th, 1962, a man named Vasili Arkhipov saved the world. Literally. Had he not stood up to his commanding officer and refused to launch a nuclear warhead during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the resulting retaliations would have obliterated all human life. Probably the marmosets and gibbons, too. We here at SVWAG think the man deserves a hol…
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"Somethin' tells me it's all happening at the zoo I do believe it I do believe it's true The monkeys stand for honesty Giraffes are insincere And the elephants are kindly but they're dumb Orangutans are skeptical Of changes in their cages And the zookeeper is very fond of rum Zebras are reactionaries Antelopes are missionaries Pigeons plot in secre…
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It's all Fat Bear Week and puns this week, both of which share one important characteristic--they have distended, pendulous bellies. Wait, that wasn't it. It's that they are both to be respected for their power and danger. Those people you hear about who try to live with bears always suffer the same fates as the serial deployers of puns, in that th…
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We turn to yet another discussion of important issues in boardgaming, this time WE INTERRUPT YOUR SILLY EPISODE NOTES FOR A SERIOUS ANNOUNCEMENT It is fat bear week! The possibility of a US federal government shutdown has been averted, and thus the voting public (even foreigners, we won't tell) may vote on which lorge bois of the ursine variety sha…
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Any old person could consult Wikipedia, but only the true elite tune in to SVWAG to hear Walker summarize random boat-related articles for them. It's a power move to rival even the most outrageous exploits of the viking peoples. Games Played Last Week: 00:50 -Faeries & Magical Creatures (Glenn Drover, Foridden Games, 2023) 05:27 -Dogfight! (Carlo A…
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We return to the bizarre cant of Letterkenny, invoking specifically the term "ferda," which is a contraction of "for the boys/girls." It is a great way to punctuate a sentence, especially if you do not wish to be understood--but that is true of all cant. Relatedly, if you haven't already, please do peruse our own glossary on sowronggames.com! We ar…
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Walker and Huey voted to end the game early, but there were then procedural questions as to whether that warranted a runoff in the French Presidential style. Chip III repeated his preference for a ranked-choice voting system, but he couldn't decide whether his second choice was a single transferable vote or first past the post. Meanwhile, Mark gerr…
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