Happy Hole-idays, my little Hormones! For our last episode of the year, we welcome Coco, the Time Traveling Slut, into your tight little earholes to answer some eternally pressing questions: Where do sluts come from? Have gay men always been promiscuous? Have lesbians not? Who were the greatest skanks in history? And why can't women f*ck in peace, …

“Being transgender is the least important thing about me. I’m a person. I’m just a person” – Conner, 18, college student from Ohio Ever wondered what it’s like to be a trans kid in America today? (Hint: it f*cking sucks.) Groups on the right and their politicians use trans kids as pawns in the political game of vote and media attention. And they lo…

Quit playing with your Lincoln log and listen up, because President Abraham Lincoln is here, he's queer, and we all better get used to it! Lincoln is commonly called the greatest president in American history: but what if he was also frequently in love with men? What if he slept with them in bed for years of his life? What if he had moved to Fire I…

"I live life in the margins of society. And the rules of normal society don't apply in the margins." Welcome to the saucy, scandalous slag-paradise that is Tamara de Lempicka (1898-1980)! Tamara was a Polish-born aristocrat, bisexual painter, and Art Deco diva who took Paris by storm in the 1920s after escaping the Russian Revolution. She was known…

Wait, why are mermaids so gay? It turns out everyone’s favorite sea-gals have been floating around for millennia, from ancient Syrian mer-goddesses to medieval water witches, all the way up to Princess Ariel. But how did these dangerous divas of the deep become the sympathetic heroines we love and cherish today? What is it about mermaids that makes…

How do you start a renaissance? The one woman who knows - Beyoncé - was unavailable to answer my questions. So instead, we've gone back to 1920s Harlem this week, to figure out the good gay truth. It turns out the Harlem Renaissance was a lot more queer than we learned in school. And half of its greatest luminaries, who represented a major step for…

“I wake up cold, I who Prospered through dreams of heat Wake to their residue, Sweat, and a clinging sheet.” (The Man with Night Sweats, Thom Gunn, 1992) Never heard of Thom Gunn? Me neither! That's because straight people want to destroy us. Thom was one of the great poets of the 20th century, up there with Philip Larkin and Ted Hughes. But he's s…

"'Cosmus is a great big cinaedus. He keeps his legs apart and sucks d!ck.' ... I believe that's almost a direct paraphrase." – Professor Tom Sapsford, quoting Ancient Roman graffiti about my biological ancestors Kinaidos (or cinaedus in Latin) was the Ancient Greek word for a depraved, unmanly man who liked to get railed. (LIKE MEEEEE.) Since then,…

“Who knows how many holes actually started wars in Japan…I’m sure many.” – Dylan Adler, Japanese-Jewish comedian to the stars! Join us this week on a rip-roaring ride through Japan's hole-tighteningly gay history. From Buddhist pederasts to sissy samurais and beyond, we explore the kimonos, the scroll paintings, and yes, the hemorrhoidal humor that…

I've been talking about gay men for FAR too many episodes recently, so please enjoy this summer repeat of one of my favorite episodes ever from Season 1, with my former co-host Donal Brophy. Virginia Woolf is the more famous author today, but back in the 1920s and 30s, it was her lover and socialite-best-friend (God I need one of those), Vita Sackv…

Is it toxic for a Roman emperor to steal a child from his home, give him all the riches of the world, groom him, and then maybe ask him to kill himself so that he can live? That is what we seek to uncover. The Emperor Hadrian (AD 76 - 138) was one of the not-too-f*cked-up emperors. He liked soldiering but not war, astrology, being gay, hunting, and…

Get in b*tch, we're having an Ancient Greek kiki! We're back, baby! Join us as we navigate the wine-dark and wine-soaked symposia of Ancient Greece, to discover what exactly was so gay about these all-male drinking parties. (Hint: a lot.) We cover ancient party planning, gay glassware, reclining etiquette, drunken flirting, and all the subtle arts …

Historical Homos is celebrating its one year anniversary! Like any Mother worth her salt, I forgot my child was turning 1 last month. It's been one year of Historical Homos, and there have been so many milestones, amazing episodes, dramas, traumas, small wins, and long mental health breaks that it feels like my baby child should be shipping off to …

For more from Historical Homos, you can join our cult at www.historicalhomos.com and follow us on Instagram and TikTok. If you like what you hear, please leave us a five star rating on Apple or Spotify. Do it. Yeahhhhhh just like that. This episode was written and researched by Bash, hosted by Bash, and edited by Alex Toskas. Guest host: Andrew Lea…

"There are a particular gang of sodomitical wretches in this town..." Did you ever wonder why British men are always just a little...you know...? Well, in truth, it's because 300 years ago they invented being a "gentleman" (gay) who doesn't work (GAY) and just wants nicer things (GAY GAY GAY!). But round about the same time the British invented bei…

It's the Cricket Episode! Featuring one of the most egregious decisions ever made in this definitely not real court. Like, listening back, I'm like "how did you even think that that would be the right conclusion to draw" like who even thinks that?! Like seriously! Man, F this S.

"All male, all-whale orgies"...need I say more? We're back with another extra special episode for Pride Month 2024! And this one is a DOOZY, my little Hormones. First of all, let me just say..."You know you're gay right?" That's my impression of me talking to every living animal on this good, green Earth. Because it turns out animals have been gay …

"Gay didn't always exist, but 'bottom' kind of did!" How did people douche back in the day? Did they have lube? And how'd they find other gays to get off with? In a turn of events that will shock absolutely no one, history is FULL of queer men doing the deed. We boinked, we douched, we lubed, we bathed, and we cruised – long before today's modern l…

The Trivial Trial returns in the safest of hands (Judge Jack's), as he sifts through Sebastian's harrowing story, stresses through Raghu's, and delivers one of his "most incredible" (self-proclaimed) deliberations yet. With special thanks to Apple's Jonathan Ive, who catches a sensational number of strays with this episode.…

"And what we have to get into our heads, although it is difficult, is that [the] glamour of love, odd as it may sound, is just as much present between two homosexuals as it is between a man and a woman." - Lord Brabazon of Tara, House of Lords, December 1957 What was it like to be a (practicing) gay man in London after the Second World War? I thoug…

PERIOD PIECE is back! Lucy returns, with her flow in tow, for another historical film that I mansplain to her because education 👏 never 👏 stops. This month, we're digging into MAESTRO, Bradley Cooper's biopic about the glorious, complicated, and very gay star conductor of the 20th century: Leonard Bernstein. Lenny was so much more than Gigi Hadid's…

"Saint Sebastian is really just a Bored Office Twink." – R. Eric Thomas (April 2024) Welcome to the wildly erotic, superheroic world of Saint Sebastian, who was initially martyred as a rugged Roman soldier before he blossomed into the lithe, Lana-Del-Rey-loving twink we cherish today. Scientists now know it was the extremely gay Italian Renaissance…

"And it is well-known that the King of England f*cks the Duke of Buckingham." – Theophile de Viau (1628) If you've been watching Mary & George on STARZ, then you must be desperate to know how much of it is true. And the answer, my curious queers, is: a lot! George Villiers, the scheming twink who dominated King James I's court, was hot and 100% DTF…

Long live Queen James I of England! James, as our guest Guy Branum notes this week, was always a little “dyke-y”. Obsessed with love and relationships, she ruled Scotland and England entirely from her heart – and through her loins. James was known above all for promoting his male favourites to intolerable positions of power and wealth. The rest of …

Trivial Trials has rebranded to the name it always should have been! Jack recounts sexy childhood trauma, Sebastian reads out a doozy, and Raghu dissects us as always.

Welcome to our queer book club! Here's your cat and gluten-free martini, please have a seat. This week we're discussing Virginia Woolf's suicide (it's my Roman Empire), giant red leather dildos, and the realization that sex between women may be the greatest threat to masculinity in 10,000 years. You'll find it all and more, you greedy guts, in our …

Historical Homos is back! This week we cover George Sand, who was, get this, a woman! And a writer! And queer! George wrote over 70 novels and plays between 1804 and 1876, during which she witnessed the rise and fall of SEVEN political regimes in France. When she wasn't busy writing about women's oppression and worker's rights, she was actively rub…

While Lucy is off gallivanting in Europe this week, spreading hetero cheer to the needy, we invited our dear friend, Rachel Joravsky, to talk about a fascinating, but oft-overlooked group: Ancient. Jewish. Lesbians. Rachel is a TV writer, comedian, activist, educator, and self-acclaimed power Jewess, so naturally we took a gay look together at The …

Welcome to PERIOD PIECE, our new monthly feature where Lucy is on her period and Bash makes her watch a historical film. Because education 👏 never 👏 stops. This week, we're reviewing an old favorite called "The Favourite" (God, I'm a poet). Starring Rachel Weisz, Olivia Colman, and Emma Stone, this sultry romp follows an alleged love triangle that …

The Trivial Trial returns, with the help of one of our many loyal listener.

Where the F do gendered bathrooms come from? To literally no one’s surprise, public bathrooms only became available to people who are not cis men a couple hundred years ago. Because guess what? If you can't pee in public, you can't BE in public for very long. The lack of public restrooms for women in particular has been a central and often-overlook…

Wilkommen, bienvenue! Actually just bienvenue. Because yes, we are once again plunging you into another insufferably French episode, where Bash and Lucy compete for the "Best Francophone" Award no one offered. This week, we examine the life, luxuries, and labial exploits of Françoise Raucourt, one of 18th century Paris' most iconic lesbian actresse…

China has loved the "passion of the cut sleeve" - an ancient euphemism for dude-on-dude dicking - since the literal Han Dynasty (the era not the restaurant). Beautiful stories abound in Chinese literature and history of queer love, from doting emperors to divine influencers in the spirit world. We are of course primarily concerned with the latter. …

It's time to ruin that Columbussy! This week we are trampling on the reviled memory of Christopher Columbus, in honor of the Queer Indigenous Peoples of the Americas who are - say it with me - MUCH, MUCH COOLER. Bitchy Bash is joined by Illiterate Lucy to explore the five genders of Indigenous civilizations, the rise of the berdache and one "Namele…

Ladies and gentler ladies, please welcome your new Historical Homos co-host: Lucy Hendra! Lucy is bravely and openly straight, a woman (technically), and has seen every episode of Vanderpump Rules ever written. (Yes, written. #WGAStrong) Now, why does that qualify her to be on this podcast? No one knows, and no one cares. Least of all our subject t…

Ma Rainey and Bessie Smith were big stars in their own day, and hundred years later they've got BIOPICS on Netflix and HBO. This is what bisexuality can do for you! Join us as we dig into the lives, songs, and loves of these two remarkable Black women. Renowned for their musical talent and big personalities, Ma and Bessie became the first record st…

Hatshepsut was one of the more successful pharaohs of New Kingdom Egypt, mostly because she was hell-bent on being known as a he. In an era when ruling was synonymous with penis-having, Hatsephsut created multiple propaganda campaigns to cast herself in the role of divine male ruler. And yet, despite the many breastless and bearded statues she comm…

Bash and Donal are back together again! This week we're leaving behind ancient sugar daddies to look at some of the gayest moments in the Supreme Court's history. From antisodomy laws to gay marriage – and now state-sanctioned discrimination, oh my! – the Court has had a long and bizarre history of interfering with LGBTQ+ rights. But all is not los…

Joan of the Arc has an impressive CV: French it girl, saint, military genius (kind of?), 15th century celebrity (chic!), burned at the stake (careful, c'est chaud!), and potentially...nonbinary? Bash returns to his altar boy days to unravel the never-not-compelling, extremely unbelievable story of Joan, the Maiden of Orléans. As always, we disagree…

An ancient Greek army of...boyfriends?! You may have heard tell of it somewhere in your gay little zines and Tik Toks, but do you know the full story? Join Bash for a bonus episode as he dives *deep* into the Sacred Band of Thebes – if only, sigh – an ancient Greek military experiment that led one city-state to total domination over her apparently-…

A review of the life and loves of Virginia Woolf through her sauciest letters. We dive deep into her affair with Vita Sackville-West, leading London lesbian of her day, and relive the parties thrown by the Bloomsbury Set, a group of young Modernists who continued the British tradition of plumbing the nation's bottomless depths of homosexuality. (Or…

William Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe: brilliant dramatists and...bisexuals? We unpack the rumors, the hearsay and the straight-up gay poems that suggest these titans of English literature were also really, really, ridiculously good-looking gay. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…

The unbelievably wild and weird life story of the Chevalier d'Éon: transgender spy, soldier, and sleuth of the French Enlightenment. Assigned male at birth, Charles eventually transitioned to become Charlotte, before discovering the humiliating constraints of life as an 18th century woman. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information…

Buckle up for one of the most infamous – and lesser-known – gay couples in Greek mythology: Zeus and Ganymede, originators of the divine Daddy-Twink dichotomy. We'll discover what these myths tell us about ancient Greek homosexuality IRL, and how they provided much-needed PR for the complex reality between mortals' sheets. Hosted by Bash and Donal …

Welcome to Historical Homos, the world's only no-fucks-given guide to queer history. Come for the laughs. Stay for the boners. And maybe learn something. Or whatever. Coming June 9, 2023. Hosted by Bash and Donal Brophy. Executive Produced by Zachary Quinto. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…

What happens when two aging homosexuals sit down to talk about the Great Queers of Yesteryear? Check out the trailer to find out! Pube-trimming, cocaine-snorting lesbians, transgender spies, dogs – the real question is what WON'T we talk about? Historical Homos is launching June 9, 2023 on podcast platforms everywhere. Hosted by Bash and Donal Brop…

Oh my days! It's us! Back! Jack does Bob Dylan, Raghu does his best story ever (in my opinion, not that it matters), and Sebastian judges the balls off of us

Pucker up! The Trivial Trial is in session once more, with Raghu taking to the role of judge like a duck to water, or Jack to the idea of an attack on one of his best friends. Sebastian debuts Sappho, who will soon be his replacement in the Very Real Court, just as soon as she finishes law school. And if you are listening to this on Spotify, we thi…

And so, another episode dawns upon us. Jack does the worst job of all time being a judge, Sebastian regales us with a delightful tale about something or other, and Raghu predicts the World Cup winners.

AKA The Spicy Butter Waffle Episode. Sebastian returns to his rightful place as court judge, sniffing out justice to his heart's content. Raghu's velvety tones take on a lactose quality, while Jack Vaa is actually from, like, Denmark? In case you didn't know?