The most Outrageous Advice podcast you've ever heard.
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Gregg and Tim interview the some of the most interesting and creative people you may have never heard of. If you ever wanted to be THE cool kid, this is the show that will take you there.
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Welcome to Atlas Balked, a weekly chronicle concerning the mundane, weird, and maybe even sometimes dramatic happenings of a Simple Fantasy Baseball League . This podcast captures the thoughts and musings Gregg, Joe, Jack and Tim - four of the twelve owners in the league.
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Sound Bites "I love that feeling" "I voice record what I'm thinking" "Getting a second dog may indicate potential relationship issues" "Mmm, nice slow ghost." "How much does Tammy like them or the woman? Is she gonna miss the relationship or is she like, yeah, that's cool, we don't have to see them as much?" "He actually has my secondary range find…
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Sound Bites "So for two days between the hours of eight and four thirty, no one in the building can flush their toilets." "How many residents did you have to get this notice to?" "I'm gonna burn the whole day" "It was all couples." "Was it sexy enough that when you got home that night you could recall specific scenes and use that as your masturbato…
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Sound Bites "I'm not interested. Oh, it's a pagan set. I love" "So I got to get the Penguin Cinco de Mayo shirt or the St. Patrick's Day t-shirt. Those are always good." "Well, sorry Tim. I guess I'm a flawed person." "I cannot fucking believe it. Like after watching him like roll a fucking car and then being upside down, I'm sure that fucking kid'…
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Sound Bites "Like have you guys ever been roped into an old timey photograph?" "There's nothing worse than kids, hockey fucking uniforms, man." "I feel like I stink more now than I did when I was a younger man." "Oh, they're gonna start carrying man." "Yeah, I shake till I cum." "Actually, actually this whole this whole week I've had great one of G…
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Sound Bites "I wish I was nerdy about one thing and one thing only" "I like being more of a generalist" "I couldn't think of a single thing that I feel like I could do it justice to evaluate" "Yeah, there's a lot of celebrity deaths. Yeah, fourth. And you know what? Somebody you didn't even suspect, somebody young relatively speaking. Yeah." "Oh ye…
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Sound Bites "The Indians saved their ass so many times" "The Native Americans saved them" "The connection between the Indian Wars and Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam" "Replace truth for fiction for truth." "I hope that I'm making you feel obligated to invite us in the future" "We're like old bandmates who get that we're kind of inextricably linked together"…
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Sound Bites "That is a bad day. That is a bad day." "I've been in many of those little convenience stores and gas stations." "I can shut up, but it's it's it's not it's like it's still more difficult to close." "We're gonna bring a bunch of edibles to Pittsburgh Bird, so that'll be fun." "Is it reciprocal? Like if you've got a medical card from Flo…
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Keywords lightning strike, damage, Hitachi vibrators, finding parents' adult materials, comedy show, judges, closing of a bar, working in the restaurant industry, attraction, relationships, adolescence, adulthood, waitresses, hope, dreams, high school, crushes, cool kids, reunions, misadventures, eccentricities, balconies, fear of heights, rock cli…
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We were down a member tonight, but the four of us soldiered on.... ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★By Balker Talker Media
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Sound Bites "There's some altitude there." "I've had Lyme before." "She's got to like pull a tick out of the car." "It's like if you wish on a monkey's paw, you'll get the wish but it executes in the most terrible way possible." "That was Greg in Chicago with Dave, right? If I recall correctly, yeah. Oh, is that where you met Dave at Penn State?" "…
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Sound Bites "The influence of music and personal music preferences play a significant role in shaping individual experiences and memories." "The discussion around satanic imagery and the concept of Satanism provides insight into the perception and interpretation of religious and cultural symbols." "The use of nicotine and experiences with nicotine …
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![Artwork](/static/images/128pixel.png)
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The Tooth Fairy Murder (Erica's Fav)
1:16:05
1:16:05
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Erica picks her favorite while we are all on vacation... ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★By Balker Talker Media
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Keywords family, health, strip clubs, international trips, death, random thoughts, eulogies, life expectancy, quality of life, sex room, Taylor Dane, fathers, smoking, apocalypse, cannibalism, hypothetical scenarios, 150th episode, listener's favorite episode, milestones, banter, husband, Chiefs, Super Bowl, child's birth, truth, placenta, eating p…
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Keywords concert, disappointment, Indigo Girls, Hozier, Weezer, Doobie Brothers, Talking Heads, Stop Making Sense, music, artists, age, volunteering, Rob Ford, John Belushi, Tom Petty, Jeff Lynn, Birkenstock shoes, popularity, aesthetics, lesbians, preferences, stereotypes, misconceptions, instructional videos, cunnilingus, embarrassing stories, hi…
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By Balker Talker Media
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Keywords: gummies, stamina, intimate moments, childhood crushes, TV characters, perception, foreplay, attractiveness, preferences, celebrities, resemblance, 4/20, comedy shows, musicals, collaboration, rap, rock, funny anecdotes, 4/20, chores, stoned, scary documentary, nuclear testing, games, tattoo contest, coworker, divorce, tattoos, funny tatto…
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Sound Bites "The algorithm rewards accounts that are very similar." "The warm weather in Florida keeps the crazies outside." "Many people from our hometown have had limited life experiences." "We eat most of our meals in bed" "Craftmatic: Slowly lowering the bed as the food digests" "Using a hanging chair to hide a sex swing" "Technically ketamine …
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Keywords tattoos, biohazard symbol, charm bracelet tattoos, spy, happy pills, childhood memories, interview, childhood, girlfriend, resemblance, gray hair, spy, controversy, fingering dogs' anal glands, Legoland, Disney World, party, infidelity, swinging, mistaken identity, guns, appearance, attraction, intimacy, fashion, style, acting, transformat…
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Takeaways Using TV shows as distractions can be helpful for parents. Parenting can be challenging and sometimes requires creative solutions. Taking care of pets, including expressing anal glands, can be a unique experience. Haircuts can be a source of frustration and anxiety for some people. Haircuts can be a source of drama and upset, especially w…
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Takeaways Allergies can cause various symptoms, including rashes and other discomforts. Taking care of pets after surgery requires special attention and medication. The high cost of medications is a common concern for many people. Deciding whether to disclose COVID-19 status depends on the situation and the people involved. Gross habits and persona…
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Takeaways Funny stories and mishaps can make for entertaining and relatable content. Dealing with migraines can be challenging, but there are medications available to help manage symptoms. Having vomit-appropriate receptacles can prevent messy situations and embarrassment. Misunderstandings in text messages can lead to humorous moments. Moral accep…
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![Artwork](/static/images/128pixel.png)
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The Marijuana Mongoose (or Sack Taps and Bean Dips)
2:40:13
2:40:13
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Takeaways Inside jokes and playful banter create a fun and lighthearted atmosphere. Experimenting with edibles can lead to unexpected and entertaining experiences. Accommodations can vary and sometimes come with unexpected charges. Fantasizing about living together and creating a unique dynamic can be entertaining. Custom car horns and fart sounds …
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Takeaways Unexpected events can lead to interesting conversations and ideas. Alternative farewell ideas can be more meaningful and personal. Creativity can be applied to various forms of media, such as creating a film trailer. Naming objects or vehicles can be a fun and engaging activity. Personal experiences and perspectives can shape one's relati…
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Takeaways Marijuana can lead to funny and memorable experiences Different people have different reactions to marijuana Using tongue twisters can be a fun way to test memory and speech while high Marijuana affects individuals differently, with some experiencing stronger effects than others. Rasputin's penis is rumored to be in a museum in Iceland. C…
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Summary In this episode, the hosts discuss a range of topics including bounced checks, condo politics, rising maintenance fees, childhood reminiscing, self-esteem, movie recommendations, and personal grooming. In this part of the conversation, the hosts discuss various topics including ear hair plucking, movie theater etiquette, and the STI epidemi…
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We are back from our short hiatus (and Gregg's world travels). ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★By Balker Talker Media
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Summary The conversation covers technical difficulties, the shutdown of their YouTube channel, workplace harassment, condo association drama, the Monarchy Party and Anarchy Party, and lighting issues. In this part of the conversation, the hosts discuss the concept of a sugar daddy and how to help the listener's dad find a regular girlfriend. They a…
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Summary The hosts discuss various topics, including getting skinny, attending comedy shows, embarrassing moments, celebrity crushes, and imaginary friendships. They also talk about the limits of geekiness, concert experiences, listening to music in the bathroom, and the idea of being a know-it-all. The conversation takes a humorous turn as they dis…
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Summary In this episode, the hosts discuss various topics including their admiration for Michelle and Bert, celebrating Bert's one-year anniversary on the show, the weather in different regions, and the tradition of the Naked Bike Ride. They also talk about feeding pets and share a parenting question. The episode concludes with a discussion about h…
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We deal with a bunch of whiners and misfits this week, with a little holiday cheer! Send us a question and you'll be part of the show! X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 604-8487 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★By Balker Talker Media
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We help a listener out of a hairy situation, clean up a situation with a crappy project team member, talk an older sister through a somewhat troubling situation involving her younger brother, and so much more... Send us a question and you'll be part of the show! X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcoun…
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We learn why Burt's memoir will be titled "A Life in 15 Tabs", we help a naughty elf work through his Santa issues, help a listener become more hip with his carnal knowledge, and more fun stuff. Send us a question and you'll be part of the show! X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com V…
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We help a listener deal with the ghost who lives in his girlfriends car, we save another marriage over porn viewing, and how to deal with your backseat driving partner. Send us a question and you'll be part of the show! X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 604-8487 …
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Titles Burt wouldn't let us use: Sex Party; The Dungeon, Burt and His Wife Have a Quiet Night at the Neighbor's House, Those Hors D'Oeuvre's Were Exquisite, Pinch Points are Always a Problem, and Please Pick Up Some Crackers. Send us a question and you'll be part of the show! X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast E…
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We help someone learn how to deal with their partners strange social awkwardness, we break down an interesting polyamorous Bro Code Breakdown, discuss "girl math" and "Burt Math", and share advice on how to shut down that bully boss of yours. Send us a question and you'll be part of the show! X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @ba…
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We help a wife who's been thrown a curve to overcome the latest turn in her marriage without getting bent; We help a couple translate their love language into something hotter; and we play three truths and a lie "Celebrity Edition" Want to be part of the show? Don't be scared. Send us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook -…
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Episode 126 is dedicated to Pepper, who was always as cute as a cookie. Want to be part of the show? Send us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 604-8487 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★By Balker Talker Media
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Alternate Titles For This Episode: The Burt Equation The Wisconsin Waffle The Soft Hand Club The Prickly Pineapple Problem Unwanted Swinging Seeking some bad counsel of your own? We'd love to hear from you: Send us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 60…
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Its a voicemail extravaganza! We take several listener's voicemails and help someone successfully kidnap their ex's dog, help a wife who's angry at us putting ideas in her husbands dirty mind, learn about Gary's inability to sing the correct lyrics and so much more... Ask us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcouns…
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Burt helps us answer how deep is enough, we help a shy date feel better about how delightful they are, and we learn why the three point stance isn't just for football Ask us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 604-8487 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon …
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We help a mom help her kid dominate a third grade bully, play the fan favorite Florida Man game, and even help Tim solve a thorny problem this week. Ask us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 604-8487 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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Ask us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 604-8487 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★By Balker Talker Media
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"A goth masterpiece" - The L.A. Times "We LOVE stoned Burt" - The Providence Journal "Hoochie Mama becomes liturgical canon for local cult" - Miami Herald "Being nice is the new evil" - Tampa Bay Times "How to make the best out of a horrible situation" - The Baltimore Sun " Vintage Hitachi Color Television For Sale" - The Boynton Beach Penny Saver …
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Katy's high school CB handle, Jack is definitely the Holy Perv, vasectomy prep, and a completely shallow discussion about a girlfriend's use of TikTok as a life coach Ask us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 604-8487 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon …
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Superfan Jennifer Coolidge gives us a call, we have a massive breakdown in the Bro-Code, and we spend some time in the Mandela Effect Zone Ask us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 604-8487 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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We take questions exclusively from College Students this week and we help best friends work throu a classic Bro Code Breakdown, how an older student can fit in with the hipster kids, and how to make a successful podcast (spoiler alert - Lots of Booze!) Ask us a question: X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email …
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We help stop a horrible marriage from happening, discuss Bingo Tramps, cover why Adderall is Burt's best friend, and talk about Mike being Drunk and Stoned in the ICU for weeks at a time. X - @badcounsel1 Instagram - @bad.counsel Facebook - @badcounselpodcast Email - badcounsel4u@gmail.com Voicemail - (541) 604-8487 ★ Support this podcast on Patreo…
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A Geisha, Brandy, Or A Scarlet Lady of the Saloon?
1:31:28
1:31:28
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What to do about your neighbor who smells like shit, literally, the best opening line on how to pick up a guy at the bar, the multiverse and its direct connection to parenting, and what to do when your wife severely misuses a word around kids and coworkers. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★By Balker Talker Media
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We help a listener escape the wrath of a local GILF Mob, get back at a messy coworker and here how Gregg ghosted someone right after the drinks arrived at the table! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★By Balker Talker Media
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By Balker Talker Media
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