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Journalists Jeb Lund and David J. Roth step away from real world anxieties and step into the gentle, cornball, consequence-free world of the Hallmark Channel. Each time, we discuss a different Hallmark original movie—from Christmas cheer, to wedding jitters, to junk-store detectives—and break it down into recognizable components of angels, moms, moppets, sugary foods and themed sweaters, and try to make sense of when the stories veer away from comfort films and land in the uncanny valley. We ...
 
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show series
 
BRANDI BROWN joins us for GARAGE SALE MYSTERY: THE ART OF MURDER (2017) and: A message about our namechange. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Let's cancel! ... First, dead family, THEN pandemic ... April 13, 2019 ... Kill your computer ... Grandma troll wants the cusses ... Comic books and H…
 
TARA ARIANO and SARAH D. BUNTING take a trip to NORTHPOLE (2014) and: Robots, they're just like us ... Classic Tudyk ... THEME ... Joe E. Tata ... Plugs! ... Sequel book ... No Swank ... "Enough" ... Dina Meyer ... Ridgewood, NJ. 07450 ... Pleasantly surprised ... Accidentally in Love ... Paula Abdul's "Itty Bitty Titty Committee" number ... The Ma…
 
CASEY TAYLOR joins us and SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED for THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED (2018) and: A tedious audio warning ... We are going to Pueblo! ... THEME ... Boofed the intro ... Meet Casey Taylor ... Elite Christian postal detectives ... Casey was USPS ... Red flags ... Never be friends with supervisors ... The Signed, Sealed, Delivered universe ..…
 
We're on the ROAD TO CHRISTMAS (2018), we'll take you there, take you there, for: Exploring the space ... Notes from Jasper, LLC ... THEME ... Countdown to Christmas in July Countdown ... Tardiness apology ... ADHD cul-de-sac ... Talent show cringe horror ... Burn down the portrait studio ... L'Allegro and Il Penseroso ... BREAK ... Meet Zac Hug ..…
 
JESSIE OPOIEN, CHARLES STAR and SARA KATE WILKINSON return for LOVE IN THE FORECAST (2020) and: Walking the dog ... Enjoying a whiteface Tyler Perry movie ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: City vs. Country, and The Year of Leah ... Conway, AR. ... Problematize the discourse: Charles discovers Hallmark ... Constant con…
 
SARA KATE WILKINSON helps us get SWITCHED FOR CHRISTMAS (2017), and we rebel at: A dream board! ... Poetry slam Santa ... THEME ... Cry for help ... Enjoyable, not good ... Candace Cameron: Scene partner desperately needed ... Lack of discipline ... BREAK ... Leading Lady Leaderboard update/apology ... Cast rundown ... Inadvisable pandemic/presiden…
 
We run to and from YES, I DO (2018) and put the top down on our Canadian convertible for: Not the gain ... THEME ... Still asymptomatic ... Mostly incorrect Hallmark ingenue stats ... Good Memories from Jessica Lowndes ... A thankless character ... Nostalgic Christmas ... Listen up, urchins! ... Hallmark Ramada filming ... Soothing demeanor ... The…
 
JESSIE OPOIEN returns for PARIS, WINE AND ROMANCE (2019) and: Quality ultimatum ... Episode NINE??? ... Pandemic saved by a dog ... Microwaved hot dog ... Time has no meaning, dinnertime doubly so ... Does this feel "pandemic good"? ... Would endorse ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot mop-up ... This pinot's made in.…
 
We wish for no more of THE BIRTHDAY WISH (2017) and instead want: Brian Williams to say "Leonard Cohen" ... The Three Canadians You Meet in Heaven ... THEME ... Governors and Dhalsim ... The city is healing ... Uptight at a Hallmark movie ... Busy for Hallmark ... Happy returns to mediocrity and confirmation bias ... Mackey Sasser and Mickey Tettle…
 
ANDY LEVY returns from finding LOVE IN WINTERLAND (2020) and: Mark Cuban's polycule ... THEME ... The Heartthrob Boyz ... Indoors ... A preview of being old ... ACME products ... Delighted to talk to anyone ... Three incredibly handsome men ... Stevie Ray Vaughn Chat ... Good pandemic distraction ... St. Elmo's Fire ... Less of an escape ... "Myeah…
 
We got the fever, so we're putting LOVE ON ICELAND (2020) and: It's a lot of pressure ... THEME ... Hopelandic ... The minimum amount of movie ... Inheriting a wildlife preserve ... Iceland is the plot ... Not obstructing the scenery ... BREAK ... TV's Andy Levy chat ... Plugz ... Icelandic surnames ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: J…
 
SARA KATE WILKINSON'S empire lies in ruins in the LOVE AND SUNSHINE (2019) and she's: Not buying Winnie Cooper ... THEME ... Deeply irritable ... Letters to Santa: They mentioned 9/11; a long way to get a dog in a house; wrong since Episode 3; can houses burn in Hallmark?; "A Season of Recovery" ... Troops without trauma ... A strange age scale ...…
 
SARA KATE WILKINSON exclaims YOU'RE BACON ME CRAZY (2020) and we choose between: The heart or the sandwich ... THEME ... No! Plans! Til Flag Day! ... Governor-Mayor prank fight ... "Kind of a DUI Guy" ... Jamaican Me Crazy ... Oover ... Donut Go Breaking My Heart ... Zero conflict ... Sara Kate check-in: These are slickly generic now ... A boring m…
 
We find the novel coronavirus A NOVEL ROMANCE (2015) and: Leave the long beat in there ... THEME ... Asymptomatic Patreon pitch ... Bill Mitchell's diarrhea conspiracy ... Worst version of a familiar plot ... Very sneaky, sir ... Tommy Bahama-ass chat look ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... Orphan Black boyfriend ... The Expositional Challenge ... Let'…
 
There's no quarantine delivery so we shop LOVE IN STORE (2020), and: We're talking about Buckley ... THEME ... Our quarantine drug regimens ... Alcohol's time to shine! ... Toddler elbow drop ... Brandi update ... Can you rewatch this? ... Coach's clipboard ... Hallmark housebroken ... Kinetic directing ... TNT Original Series Leverage ... MST3K Ch…
 
We commandeer a grocery store because LOVE'S COMPLICATED (2016) for: Tony "Jody" LaRussa ... THEME ... Mustard on the intro ... Let's get unprofessional ... Confirming the Worsening Hallmark Hypothesis ... A cromulent rom-com that got made for Hallmark ... Tie Domi jersey ... Unavoidably Canadian ... Surreality is its own authenticity ... The David…
 
Ireland stays FOREVER IN MY HEART (2019), but: It's Ryan Fitzpatrick again ... Harvard Boy ... Kicked by a donkey or slapped by an elephant's trunk? ... The greatest QB of his era ... BREAK ... Interrupted intro ... Happy birthday! ... Uncular ... Six weeks off ... Annual January depression ... Crown Media sources ... Jeb's dad injuries ... Backup …
 
CHRIS COLLISION opts for A BLUE RIDGE MOUNTAIN CHRISTMAS (2019) and: Kim Jong-un's perfume ad ... THEME ... Collective hangovers ... The movie is our fault ... Opening old beer ... I studied The Blade ... Foyer or Foyer ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge: Vindication! ... Plot wrap-up ... Not an actual movie ... Overlook Hote…
 
KAREN GEIER laces up her black-and-white Nikes for CHRISTMAS AT GRACELAND: HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS (2019) and journeys to: An important announcement ... THEME ... Oprah intro ... Hallucinating your own death ... Cult podcasts and grief ... Hallmark, holidays and cult behavior ... Caganer update ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... Plot in One Segment: Back…
 
CHARLES STAR and ROBERT WHEEL pair up for a HOLIDAY DATE (2019) and: Act cool in the hardware store ... THEME ... Patty and Shelby shout ... Truly vs. Claw ... Foremost Jewish thinkers ... Hallmark's first "Hanukkah" movie ... Unfamiliar with Christmas AND Hanukkah ... Jeb screws up the actor name ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Cha…
 
MEREDITH HAGGERTY returns to get WRITE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (2019) and, actually: It's a holiday from holidays ... THEME ... Love, actually 50 percent shorter ... Cast of lug nuts ... Good premise, big swing, not enough movie ... Death cards ... Hanged Jesus and Boston racial violence ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... Lachey manque ... Plot in One Segment…
 
ROBERT WHEEL returns for THE MISTLETOE SECRET (2019) and might get: Lubricious ... Always bet on Duffles ... Underused Patrick Duffy ... Improved Hallmark experience ... Moments of Mirth ... Competent leads, improved Pickler ... Kathleen Madigan on Kellie Pickler ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot cleanup ... Patrick…
 
NICK BOND takes us on a CHRISTMAS SCAVENGER HUNT (2019) to look for: Tom Arnold is sick ... THEME ... Brainwash your parents ... Sharing Hallmark with socialist whodunit mom ... Bona fides check ... Really enjoying the movie ... Saddam Hussein is so handsome ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge: A Dark Abyss ... Plot mop-up ...…
 
We close our eyes to PICTURE A PERFECT CHRISTMAS (2019) and see: Honkey Grandma be trippin' ... THEME ... Hello again to the AI horse ... Two good leads, one frictionless movie and one maximally shoplifted pootie ... Merritt Patterson and Jon Cor Appreciation Station ... Desi Jedeikin shout-out ... Authentic trauma ... Bad parenting, out-of-control…
 
DAVID T. COLE fortifies himself for PUMPKIN PIE WARS (2016) and the rising: Dave Quotient ... IMDB savant, finite memory ... Non-romping splenda oatmeal ... Magnum, PI's "Paper War" ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge: May be written ... Karen Geier plug ... Pie breach origins, bakery bailouts ... Just get a chair ... The Hall…
 
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