Beth Wylie is a therapist who has been working and helping couples for over a decade. Beth brings humor to her sessions in her office and will bring that into this podcast as well. Get ready to learn something in every episode, to have many A Ha moments, and get ready to yell, "ear muffs kids"...sorry, I am a sailor. My goal is to help couples have more intentional relationships. I find couples are living a version of life that they really do not want. Yet, they feel stuck and feel as if the ...
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Episode 18: Why we need to keep dating our spouse.
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14:35
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Episode 17: Rituals of connection or rituals of disconnection.
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Click the link below to purchase my online course. Just starting the course is creating rituals of connection and then as you continue to work on the course, you can bring intentionality to how you want to add rituals of connection to your relationship. https://marriage-therapy.teachable.com/
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Charlie and I narrowly avoid many conflicts throughout the day. I often can't remember examples, but one happened yesterday and I needed to share it with you all. Here a few reasons we were able to avoid this conflict and were able to Keep It Moving are: 1. Having a full emotional bank account 2. Being intentional with where we moved (the why = les…
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Episode 15: The roommate syndrome roadmap. Ways to avoid it altogether or how to live through it intentionally.
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Episode 14: Intentional Vacation (logistical edition)
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Episode 12: Identifying your character defects
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Episode 11: Intentional Vacations (couples edition)
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Have you ever gone on a long waited for vacation with your partner full of expectations of intimacy and quality time only to find yourself watching the sunset alone or sitting in silence at a very fancy, very expensive dinner? It happens, A LOT. I hear about it in sessions once a couple has returned. So much disappointment, and so much time and mon…
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Episode 10: Everything you knew about conflict should be called into question.
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25:33
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What is your belief system when it comes to conflict? Where did you learn this belief system? How did it come to be formed into this belief system? So much of what was modeled for us by our primary attachment figures, was a conflict style that was ineffective, harmful and was likely also formed by the community in which you grew up in. We believe t…
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"I just want to feel heard and understood." Have those words ever come out of your mouth? Well, I have heard them many times and I have watched as couples struggle to validate one another's perspective and feelings. I have heard every excuse as to why they just can not validate their partner's reality. I have watched as one couple held their breath…
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In my training with the Gottman Institute, I learned how to help couples bring up an issue softly. I feel (insert feeling) about (what is the issue) and I need(what would you like to change or happen). While this is totally cool, adding some positive context before you even bring up your complaint. Have a listen to hear me drop a pretty varsity lev…
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Episode 7: The Invitation to a Conversation
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Ok, so I need you to really listen to me here. If you have something important and/or hard that you need to talk to your partner about, you absolutely need to invite them to a conversation instead of just starting up a that conversation. If we side swipe, we usually elicit a defensive response and we end up in a process oriented fight (we fight ove…
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Create a meditation practice in order to be aware of how you are feeling when you are feeling it, to be able to slow down your reaction to an event and to create a more positive thought process in your life and in your relationship. Have a listen while Beth breaks it down. If you like what you hear and think you could benefit from my online course …
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Affection for the safe of affection is pretty rare in married couples who have kids. AND that creates a lot of disconnection and assumptions that could be cleared up by: 1. Listen to this episode 2. Talk to your partner about this episode 3. Make a goal with an intention and some action steps to work on creating more moments of affection for the sa…
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Episode 4: Remove distractions to create more rituals of connection.
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The more opportunities we create for potential positive connections, the more positive connections we have. Distractions tend to steal those opportunities, and we fall prey to the habits we create around these distractions. Pay attention to the amount of distraction you currently have in your life, and how often you tend to add more to the plate. D…
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My favorite tool to share with clients is the call it back tool. When you bring up a complaint in a harsh way, or you have a certain negative tone of voice or you just start a conversation with your partner with negative vibes, then I want you to call it back. This is done by being aware of how you just started this interaction and checking in to s…
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We tend to ask why questions to our partner instead of making an I feel statement. When we ask a why question, we are literally asking our partner to explain themselves....aka be defensive. Once that happens then the conflict has become process oriented (fighting about how you fight) and the complaint, feeling, issue never saw the light of day. Lis…
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Intentionally creating a more positive relationship.
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I am a pretty big Sublime fan, so I often think of PMA - positive mental attitude when I think about bids to connect, emotional bank account, deposits and the positive perspective. The PMA idea is that if you think positive thoughts and keep your thoughts in a more positive direction, then overall your life will be positive. Not because you life go…
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Transition to Parenthood, the reconnection edition
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23:05
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In this episode I talk about how to stop roommate syndrome from entering your relationship or how to avoid entering into it. There is a time in your relationship when your children are at a certain age that you have a pivotal decision to make. I talk about how to be intentional with how you as a couple spend your time and prioritize your relationsh…
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Things you need to have before starting couples therapy!
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You will need to be both willing and motivated. The willingness and motivation shows up as a desire to work hard, see your role in the dysfunctional patterns you and your partner established and make changes within yourself to show up as a better partner. If we make an agreement that what you are doing is not working and you need to make changes, t…
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The transition to parenthood is one of the most challenging we go through in life. However, very little energy is spent on thinking about how bringing a baby into the mix is going to affect the relationship. Instead we spend hours on researching names and strollers and have pretty unrealistic expectations to how we are going to handle this major ro…
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Learn what makes couples masters of their relationship and what makes them disasters. Couples who fall into the disaster category can move over to the masters category with energy, effort, intention and therapy!
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When we got married we did not become one person. We are two people in one marriage. We are different people, who came from different families with different want and needs, and those wants and needs often change over time. Learning to except one another for who will are creates a more loving relationship with higher levels of vulnerability.…
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Validation; Two realities can be true at the same time.
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Helping couples understand that two realities can be true at the same time and that my reality remains true even after I validate my partners reality. Learn more about these concepts and how to do an exercise that can and will change how you process conflict.
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I will discuss the issues I hear about in my sessions with my therapy clients, as well as, give you tools that will help you get through conflict in your relationship.
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