Book 17: I am Frequently A Human Bathroom

Animorphing Time

Aaaaawoooo! It’s Animorphin in the AM! The Morphy Boys are joined by Rachel Kahn (@reachrachelkahn). Bloodborne fans ARE Animorphs fans and Bloodborne is a feminist game. We are Anti-Gamer. The Animorphs wanna use their morphing power to watch Shaq and Bruce jam out and end up getting grabbed by The Terminator. Real Life Rachel makes a strong case for the Animorphs living in Des Moines. Who would go to the Des Moines Planet Hollywood? Teens wanna see celebs. The Animorphs stop a guy from killing himself. Rachel gets a Wookiee life debt and must protect George Edelman. Inclusivity just means ‘present.’

Stuff from the 90s did not know how to handle suicidality. The gang jumps right into it. Suicide. Don’t do it. Please. Reach out to me (Tyler!) and I’ll talk to you. Rachel gaslights a guy and holds a bathroom meeting. Instant maple ginger oatmeal makes the yeerks go nuts. Would you do chemical warfare against yeerks? Would you introduce drugs into an innocent society and watch the society tear itself apart? Well, the USA did that to its own people so HA! Got your ass! Unless you’re not American, well then, you probably have your own atrocities. All three admit that white people are bad. Colonialism is bad. It’s all bad. They order Happy Meals with Extra Happy. The Animorphs get covered in guano. Rachel falls in a yeerk pool. Marco hides in a freezer. In the end, some fates are worse than death.