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Repairing Friendships: Key Principles for Restoring Connection and Resolving Conflict
Manage episode 383673925 series 3440489
Content provided by Simon Goode. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Simon Goode or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.
In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we explore the topic of repairing a relationship with a friend. We consider the importance of understanding the subjective nature of relationships and the need for curiosity and empathy in the repair process. Tips on how to approach conversations with friends, emphasizing the value of being gentle, kind, and unassuming while avoiding criticism.
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Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail
website: simongoode.com
email: podcast@simongoode.com
67 episodes
Manage episode 383673925 series 3440489
Content provided by Simon Goode. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Simon Goode or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.
In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we explore the topic of repairing a relationship with a friend. We consider the importance of understanding the subjective nature of relationships and the need for curiosity and empathy in the repair process. Tips on how to approach conversations with friends, emphasizing the value of being gentle, kind, and unassuming while avoiding criticism.
…
continue reading
Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail
website: simongoode.com
email: podcast@simongoode.com
67 episodes
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Conflict Skills
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1 Five Strategies to Say No - Firmly and Respectfully 22:55
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host and professional mediator, Simon Goode, delves into the art of saying 'no' with confidence and kindness. Reflecting on personal experiences, including morning challenges with his son and client demands at work, Simon explores five practical strategies to effectively communicate a refusal without escalating tension. Whether it's using tactical phrasing like "this isn't the time" or suggesting constructive alternatives, the episode provides listeners with actionable techniques to maintain harmony and assertiveness in both personal and professional settings. Additionally, Simon offers a bonus tip on managing persistent requests, ensuring you'll be equipped to handle even the most determined individuals with composure. This episode is an essential listen for anyone looking to master the delicate balance of saying no, a critical skill in managing everyday conflicts. Tune in to enhance your communication toolkit and navigate conflicts with greater ease. Tomestamp overview 00:00 Role Modeling Calm Communication 06:10 Choosing Between Soft or Assertive 'No' 08:18 Streamlining Communication Processes Now 10:25 Conditional Approval for Request 15:57 List Management and Authority Dynamics 18:31 "Strategies for Resolving Persistence" 21:21 Breaking the Cycle of Repetitive Discussions Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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Conflict Skills
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1 Understanding Cumulative Stress: How It Fuels Workplace Conflict 27:10
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode discusses the cumulative effects of stress on workplace conflict and the interconnection between work and personal life stressors. He highlights how stress can negatively impact our capacity to handle conflict and offers strategies for managing stress, including during and after conflicts, as well as over the long term. Goode also invites listeners to share their experiences and stay updated on his upcoming online course focused on managing workplace conflict. ------------------------------------------- TIMESTAMP OVERVIEW: 00:00 Rethinking Work-Life Balance 03:45 Work Stress Affects Personal Life 07:39 Navigating Work-Life Stress Management 11:29 Shifting from Black-and-White Thinking 15:28 "Stress Response: Fight or Flight" 19:39 Stress Management: Breathing and Mindfulness 23:49 Managing Stress Through Life Tweaks 26:21 Announcement: Self-Paced Online Course Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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1 Strategies for Managing Cognitive Dissonance in the Workplace 27:25
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Discover how to handle workplace biases effectively with actionable strategies to strengthen your conflict resolution skills. In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, Simon Goode explores cognitive dissonance, its impact on decision-making, and biases such as confirmation bias, selective exposure, and the ostrich effect. Learn practical techniques for effective communication, fostering collaboration, and offering constructive criticism while navigating conflicts with colleagues or supervisors. Whether you're dealing with tough workplace debates, refining your mediation approach, or improving your effective listening skills, this episode is packed with insights designed to enhance your professional relationships. Watch until the end to master debate tactics and uncover tools that help you set boundaries and address biases constructively. Perfect for anyone looking to grow in workplace mediation or improve interactions in professional and personal settings. Subscribe now for more conflict resolution tips and resources! #nonviolentcommunication #affinitybias #professionaldevelopment #implicitbiasatwork #howtostopbiasatwork CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Introduction to Cognitive Dissonance 00:22 - Understanding Cognitive Dissonance 04:17 - Exploring Confirmation Bias 11:10 - The Concept of Selective Exposure 15:14 - The Ostrich Effect Explained 19:08 - Understanding the Backfire Effect 21:40 - Strategies to Manage the Backfire Effect 26:16 - Conclusion and Wrap-Up Papers: Festinger, L. (1957). “A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance.” Stanford University Press . Nickerson, R. S. (1998). “Confirmation Bias: A Ubiquitous Phenomenon in Many Guises.” Review of General Psychology . Nyhan, B., & Reifler, J. (2010). “When Corrections Fail: The Persistence of Political Misperceptions.” Political Behavior . Link Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode discusses five online debate tactics that are ineffective when used with friends and family, and offers alternatives for better communication. He emphasises the importance of avoiding aggressive behaviors like interrupting, applying pressure, and using sarcasm, suggesting instead to listen respectfully, reduce pressure, and acknowledge differing viewpoints. The episode aims to help listeners improve their conflict resolution skills in personal relationships by reflecting on Simon's own past mistakes and learning from them. -------------------- Online Debate Tactics That Don’t Work (With Friends & Family) Interrupting and Controlling the Conversation How it manifests in conversations (e.g., talking over, steering the conversation) Results and outcomes of using this tactic Personal anecdote about Simon’s usage of this tactic Applying Pressure Different ways pressure is applied (e.g., fixed choice questions, not letting thoughts form) Outcomes and the other person’s typical reactions Examples that illustrate pressure application Simon’s discussion on workplace application vs. personal contexts Humor and Ridicule Use of sarcasm and humor in debates Examples of sarcastic ridicule Psychological impact on social survival and tribe dynamics Risks associated with this tactic in emotionally charged conversations Straw Manning Definition and explanation of the straw man argument Examples of straw manning How it causes disengagement Simon’s personal history with this tactic Walking Away Situations where walking away might be seen as losing or ending the debate Impact of unfinished business with friends Importance of long-term relationship dynamics Effective Strategies for Managing Debates and Disagreements Allowing Space and Letting Them Speak Apologizing for interruptions Focusing on active listening Methods to signal attention and readiness to listen Reducing Pressure Giving control over the timing and location of the conversation Allowing autonomy and choice Examples of reducing perceived pressure Respect and Deference Being overly deferential and respectful in both language and behavior Treating the other person’s perspective with seriousness and importance Situational examples of applying respect and deference Steel Manning Definition of steel manning Techniques to present the other person’s argument in the best possible light Benefits of acknowledging the internal logic of others’ perspectives Leaving Room for Continued Dialogue Confirming the opportunity for future discussions Suggestions for ending conversations on good terms Validating different views without pressure to resolve immediately Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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Conflict Skills
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1 Workplace Conflict Analysis: Tools for Leaders and Professionals 34:11
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, Simon Goode discusses his approach to analyzing workplace conflict, emphasizing the importance of understanding the self and the interplay of thoughts, feelings, perceptions, behaviors, and the body. He explains the framework he uses for conflict resolution, which includes self-regulation, de-escalation, understanding structural elements, and addressing data, value, and interest conflicts. Simon also highlights the importance of empathetic questioning and assertiveness while providing various strategies for managing and resolving conflicts effectively. Approach to Analyzing Workplace Conflict Typical approach as a workplace mediator Application for leadership roles Use in scenarios with limited information (one side of the story) Coaching others on conflict awareness Framework vs. personal subjective experiences Listener Feedback Request Different formats for podcast content (framework/theory, personal perspective, case studies) Feedback methods (email, positive reviews) Self-Analysis and Conflict 5 aspects of the self derived from Buddhism: Thoughts (cognition and the narrative we tell ourselves) Feelings (emotions and subjective physical responses) Perception (sensory information and attention) Behavior (actions and volition) Body (physical state and presence) Interconnectedness of these aspects during conflict Short-term self-regulation strategies for each aspect Relationship Conflict Layer Interaction between self and the other person Steps for de-escalation using the 5 aspects of others Structural Conflict Decision-making and communication dynamics Adjustments to communication modes and frequency Who is involved in communication Levels of formality Follow-up processes and information sharing Drivers of Conflict Three main aspects that drive conflict: Data Conflict (misunderstandings and differences in information) Value Conflict (clash of principles, beliefs, and priorities) Interest Conflict (differing desires and goals) Setting Goals in Conflict Resolution Defining effective working relationships Minimum viable working relationship Steps to Develop Conflict Resolution Plan Self-Regulation Keeping oneself calm using the 5 aspects of self. De-escalation Strategies to calm down the other person. Raising the Issue Language and approach to initiate conflict discussion. Empathy Questions and techniques to understand the other perspective. Assertiveness Defining boundaries and knowing the bottom line. Next Steps Deciding on a specific conflict resolution strategy (negotiation, collaboration, etc.) Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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Conflict Skills
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1 How To Handle Speeding Neighbours In Residential Area 30:43
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into a neighborhood dispute between Kevin and Jim over speeding in a residential area. Through a case study, Simon explores the underlying causes of the conflict, offers mediation tips, and stresses the importance of fostering a collaborative, future-focused dialogue. Listeners are encouraged to subscribe, leave reviews, and suggest future topics via simongoode.com or email podcast@simongoode.com. --------- Simon Goode is a professional mediator and host of the Conflict Skills Podcast, dedicated to providing free resources and tools for effectively handling conflict. With a focus on both workplace disputes and personal disagreements, Simon leverages his expertise to offer practical advice and real-life case studies. Passionate about conflict resolution, he even draws inspiration from his own neighborhood for content, ensuring that his advice is grounded and relatable. If you're looking for strategies to manage conflict, Simon's podcast is an invaluable resource. ----------- Timestamps: 00:00 Neighbors in conflict over speeding driver issue. 05:51 Conflict isn't about data accuracy; it's subjective. 08:57 Values conflict primarily concerns safety and understanding. 10:28 Balancing safety and responsibility through cooperative solutions. 14:52 Autonomy leads to control; confrontation causes tension. 16:35 Perceptions differ from projected communication strategies. 22:26 Planning conversation responses for different outcomes. 25:30 Kevin apologizes but provokes Jim with actions. 26:50 Neighbors' feud creates tension, unease, and awkwardness. 30:15 Share podcast with someone facing neighbor conflict. Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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1 ADHD & Workplace Conflict: Practical Management Strategies 1:20:41
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into managing ADHD in the workplace. The discussion is structured around understanding ADHD symptoms, identifying triggers, and implementing effective strategies for managers and team leaders. Simon highlights the need for a balanced approach in providing support and maintaining workplace standards, while also offering practical advice for leveraging the strengths of employees with ADHD. ----------------------------- Managing ADHD in the Workplace: Strategies for Smoother Team Dynamics Exploring Episode 63 of Conflict Skills Podcast with Simon Goode Conflict Skills Podcast is your go-to resource for tackling workplace conflicts with finesse. Hosted by Simon Goode, this podcast specializes in various conflict scenarios, offering insights and actionable strategies. In episode 63, Simon dives into a particularly nuanced subject: ADHD in the workplace. This blog post builds upon Simon’s discussion and aims to provide further clarity on managing ADHD to foster a harmonious and productive work environment. Understanding ADHD Symptoms in the Workplace Simon starts the episode by highlighting the primary symptoms of ADHD that can affect workplace dynamics. These symptoms include: Inattention: People with ADHD may have difficulty staying focused on a single task, making it challenging to complete assignments on time. Impulsivity: This can manifest as hasty decision-making or interrupting colleagues, leading to friction. Hyperactivity: While less common in adults, this can still result in restlessness and difficulty staying seated or quiet during long meetings. Emotional Dysregulation: Individuals may experience strong emotional reactions that can escalate conflicts. Executive Function Challenges: Problems with planning, time management, and organizational skills are common, potentially leading to misunderstandings and missed deadlines. Understanding these symptoms is the first step in addressing the challenges they present. Triggers That Exacerbate ADHD Symptoms Simon underscores several triggers that can amplify ADHD symptoms, making workplace conflicts more likely. These include: Stressful Deadlines: Tight schedules can worsen ADHD symptoms, such as impulsivity and emotional dysregulation. Unstructured Environments: A lack of clear guidelines and expectations can make it difficult for individuals with ADHD to manage their responsibilities effectively. Sensory Overload: A noisy or cluttered workspace can be particularly distracting, exacerbating issues with inattention. Recognizing these triggers enables managers and team leaders to create environments that minimize stress and distractions. Effective Managerial Strategies Balancing flexibility and consistency is crucial when managing employees with ADHD. Simon offers several strategies to help managers maintain this balance: Recognize Patterns: Understand the unique ways ADHD symptoms manifest in each employee. Tailor support strategies to individual needs. Prepare for Interruptions: Implement procedures that anticipate and manage disruptions, such as shorter, more frequent meetings to accommodate attention spans. De-escalate Conflicts: Develop tactics for calming tense situations, such as taking breaks during heated debates. Leverage Strengths: Identify and utilize the unique skills and perspectives that individu Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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Conflict Skills
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1 Moving On After Workplace Conflict: Steps To Deal With Unresolved Feelings 46:07
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In Episode 62 of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the complexities of "moving on" from conflicts, offering insights inspired by a listener's review about unresolved workplace issues. The episode explores the nuances of understanding individual perspectives on resolution, breaking down five types of apologies, and emphasizing the significance of trust and mindfulness. Simon also introduces Robert Greene’s concept of "ascending the mountain" to gain broader clarity and shares personal elements to consider in the process of moving forward. ----------------------- SHOW NOTES: Introduction Overview of the Conflict Skills Podcast Host: Simon Goode Focus: Resources for handling conflicts in various contexts Episode Inspiration Listener's review about unresolved workplace issues Dealing with Unresolved Conflicts Situations of Unequal Resolution One person feels resolved, the other remains upset Vice versa: The importance of aligning both parties Apologies and Moving Conversations Forward Five Types of Apologies Introduction to various forms of apologies Structured apologies as a tool for resolution Robert Greene’s "Ascending the Mountain" Concept Overview from "The Daily Laws" Broader perspective over time Seeing situations more clearly Personal Elements in Moving On Five Key Personal Elements Cognition : How we think about the conflict Emotion : Our feelings about the conflict Perception : How we interpret the conflict Action : Steps we take toward resolution Physical Body : Physical responses and stresses Moving On vs. Moving Forward Discomfort with the term "moving on" in contexts of grief Suggestion of "moving forward" as a more supportive term The Importance of Trust in Moving On Four Pillars of Trust Competence : Trust in skills and abilities Integrity : Trust in honesty and morals Benevolence : Trust in goodwill and kindness Predictability : Trust in consistent behavior Acknowledgments and Structured Apologies Role of acknowledgments in the conflict resolution process Five types of apologies Importance and implementation Managing Personal Feelings Strategies for struggling with moving on Altering perceptions Managing emotions through mindfulness Conclusion Encouragement to reflect on personal approaches to moving on Insights into expectations and assumptions Invitation for listener feedback and future topic suggestions Highlighting the importance of reviews for podcast visibility -------------------------- TIMESTAMPS : 00:00 Guidance on moving forward, apologies, trust-building. 05:14 Viewing change from a holistic self-perspective. 09:07 Accept differences, maintain boundaries, foster working relationships. 12:54 Rebuilding trust: Clear expectations and predictability. 17:25 Prepare for impact, then rebuild trust collaboratively. 21:18 Making up for mistakes with gestures. 23:34 Seeking reconciliation, offering support, moving forward. 27:32 Consider contexts, don't take actions personally. 31:01 Manage emotions deliberately using imaginative persp Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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1 Six Steps to Effectively Analyze and Resolve Workplace Conflicts 47:30
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In today's episode, we're diving deep into the art of analyzing workplace conflict situations. Join me as we walk through a strategic, step-by-step toolkit designed to help you better understand and resolve conflicts at work. We'll explore key topics such as self-awareness, the role of goal setting and understanding your circle of control, and the five types of conflict you may encounter. Additionally, we'll shed light on the Insight Discovery model for grasping personality differences and break down various conflict modes like competing, collaborating, and accommodating. This episode is packed with insights on how to calm your physical stress responses through effective breathing techniques, and why strategic thought always trumps knee-jerk reactions. Whether you're a manager, team member, or just someone eager to improve your conflict resolution skills, this episode has something valuable for you. Let's embark on this journey together and transform our approach to workplace conflicts. And as always, I encourage you to reach out with your feedback at podcast@simongood.com. Stay tuned! Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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Conflict Skills
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1 Navigating Workplace Conflict: Case Study Analysis & Mediation Strategies 37:53
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In Episode 60 of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode analyzes three detailed case studies of workplace conflicts, offering strategies to address issues such as office music preferences, phone usage during retail shifts, and chronic absenteeism. Each case is examined through various levels of intervention, emphasizing the importance of open communication, empathy, and collaborative problem-solving. Listeners are encouraged to apply these insights to foster healthier and more productive workplace environments. Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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Conflict Skills
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1 Facilitating a HR Mediation With Staff: Essential Answers to Common Questions 54:26
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Welcome back to the Conflict Skills Podcast! I'm your host, Simon Goode, and today we're diving into one of the most requested topics—workplace mediation. Episode 59 is all about answering your frequently asked questions on how to effectively mediate conflicts within the workplace. We'll explore the key aspects of ensuring a fair mediation process, from addressing power imbalances to determining the suitability based on safety, willingness, and capacity. Whether you’re dealing with minor disputes or major conflicts, we’ll cover the varying levels of formality—be it a simple meeting, a facilitated conversation, or full-scale mediation. I'll walk you through the essential role of a mediator, how to establish clear ground rules, and strategies for managing high emotions using de-escalation techniques. We’ll also discuss how managers can promote mediation, handle refusals, and what steps to take if mediation doesn’t resolve the issue. Remember, not all conflicts are best suited for mediation, especially in cases involving clear breaches of conduct or when parties are unwilling or incapable of participating. Stay tuned for some insightful tips and practical advice to enhance your conflict resolution toolkit. Plus, don’t miss our upcoming episode where we'll delve into real-world case studies! Let's get started! Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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Conflict Skills
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1 How To Run A Mediation Between Manager & Staff Member 54:50
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Welcome to the Conflict Skills Podcast, where we provide you with crucial tools and insights for effectively managing both workplace and personal conflicts. I'm your host, Simon Goode, a professional mediator, and today we dive into a particularly challenging yet essential topic: How to run a mediation between a manager and a staff member. In Episode 56, we'll outline the entire mediation process—from determining its appropriateness to conducting pre-mediation meetings and managing the joint session. We'll also explore critical techniques like creating a balanced environment for contributions, de-escalating conflicts, and ensuring thorough follow-ups. Whether you're a mediator, manager, or team member, this episode will equip you with actionable steps to foster resolution and understanding in your workplace. Stay tuned to explore how structured mediation can transform workplace dynamics and contribute to a more harmonious environment. Don't forget to engage with us through comments, feedback, or emails at podcast@simongood.com. Let's get started! Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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Conflict Skills
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1 How to Turn Down Work Invitations Respectfully 15:49
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In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we're focusing on a challenge many of us face: how to say no to invitations from colleagues without causing offense. We'll delve into effective strategies to decline invitations gracefully, keeping relationships intact, particularly when these relationships are crucial to your work or personal life. I'll share insights on managing five key factors—status, autonomy, certainty, fairness, and relatedness—to help you communicate your decline in a way that is respectful and clear. Whether it's a social event or a professional project, tune in and learn how to handle these tricky situations smoothly. If you find our tips helpful, don't forget to subscribe or leave a review. Let's get started! Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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Conflict Skills
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1 Negotiating With Your Boss For a Raise: Five Effective Approaches to Try 21:41
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into five strategic approaches for negotiating a raise with your boss, focusing on various conflict types: data, interest, values, structure, and relationship. Through professional examples and personal anecdotes, Simon illustrates how to effectively prepare for these conversations. Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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1 Navigating Morning Chaos: Conflict Management Tips for Parents 42:07
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the common struggles parents face during morning routines and shares strategies to ease the chaos. He highlights the importance of maintaining a calm environment to prevent stress and conflict, emphasizing how morning turmoil can affect one's emotional state throughout the day. Through techniques like the GROW coaching model, Simon offers practical advice for fostering responsibility and problem-solving skills in children. Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com…
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