He's Back - Interview with Dr. Daniel David, 2.0

Dad to Dads Podcast

In this episode, Dr. Daniel David, men's mental health expert, discusses the impact of narcissism and borderline personality disorder on children. He explains how children's identity development is affected when their needs are overshadowed by a narcissistic parent's need for attention and admiration. Dr. David emphasizes the importance of positive regard and mirroring in a child's development and the role of both mothers and fathers in providing nurturing and acceptance. He also discusses the challenges of mother enmeshment and the negative impact it can have on boys' ability to form healthy relationships in adulthood. This conversation explores the impact of unhealthy mother-son relationships, the influence of 90s parenting on these relationships, and the theme of control in narcissism and borderline personality disorder. It also discusses the need for assertiveness in passive children, mothers' understanding of child development, and the importance of letting go and allowing children to experience life.
Takeaways

• Children's identity development is influenced by the positive regard and mirroring they receive from their parents.
• Narcissistic and borderline personality disorder parents often prioritize their own needs over their children's, leading to a deficit in the child's sense of self.
• Mothers and fathers play different roles in a child's development, with mothers providing nurturing love and fathers providing accepting love.
• Children who grow up with narcissistic parents may struggle to develop their own identity and may exhibit passive or people-pleasing behaviors.
• It is important for non-disordered parents to provide unconditional love and affirmation to their children, offsetting the negative impact of a narcissistic parent.
• Mother enmeshment can hinder a boy's ability to separate from his mother and form healthy relationships in adulthood. Unhealthy mother-son relationships can lead to enmeshment and hinder the son's ability to form healthy relationships with women.
• The overindulgence and overprotectiveness of children in the 90s has contributed to a generation of highly anxious and depressed individuals.
• Control is a central theme in narcissism and borderline personality disorder, with narcissistic parents seeking to maintain a positive image and borderline parents fearing abandonment.
• Encouraging assertiveness in passive children can help them develop their own voice and set boundaries.
• Mothers need to understand child development and the importance of letting go, allowing their children to develop their own identities.