E10 (Part One): Zia & Khushal Yousafzai - The Challenge of Changing Culture

Evolving Door

Zia Yousafzai is Malala Yousafzai's father and Khushal is her brother.

Malala is the amazingly brave and powerful young woman that was shot by the Taliban for speaking out for the right of girls to go to school.

In this powerful conversation, Zia and Khushal share what it was like growing up in Pakistan and the cultural challenges they faced even before Malala was born and subsequently after she was born and Zia broke from convention and the cultural norms in the way he brought her up.

I hope you will love our discussion, this is a unique and intimate insight into their world and I am proud to be releasing it as we announce the acquisition of my feature documentary A Girl Can Touch The Sky by international sales agent Abacus Media Rights.

This is the first of three parts of our conversation, each filled with depth, humor, and candor about many of the issues society is still grappling with with regards to gender equity.

0.50 - intro - Malala is the youngest Nobel Peace Prize winner.
1.17- Intro - Malala was almost killed by the Taliban.
3.36 - Zia changed the typical story of a typical man like in patriarchal culture
5.17- None of Zia's 5 sisters had the opportunity to go to school, their destiny was decided before they were born.
7.13 - Girls disappear after 10-11 years old and are always kept inside. Boys were "better’’ and valued more
10.10 - Any connection with a boy was considered magic, having a son was a blessing.
11.06 - Women are praised only for having sons and for preparing nice food.
11. 23 - Khushal didn't come across a lot of patriarchy at home, although his friends were against their sisters going to school.
12. 15 - Empathy will get us really far by imagining what it is like to be a girl.
14. 12- Zia fighting for girls' rights meant his sons sometimes felt neglected.
16.58 - Kushal made good friends with girls but then got separated at a certain age.
17. 34 - Society creates a division between the sexes and the separation can lead to sexual violence.
20. 57 - Arranged marriage may result in fewer divorces but often because divorce is not allowed.
21.56- People are scared of change, if we don't adapt - we die.
23.35 - All the family reputation is put on the girl, girls aren't allowed social life or education, which deprives them of happiness. So girls take every opportunity to go outside as it is so limited.
27.01 - The girl carries the heavy burden of the honor of the family but everybody is responsible for their own honor.
30.27 - Zia first met his wife at his aunty's house (distant cousins).
35.53- Love is powerful and communicates itself in seconds as does hate.
39.09 - Girls choose to be invisible because they are scared - the more invisible the more respected you are.
43.20 - When walking on the street women have to look at the floor why doesn't the man? The Holy Koran asks the men to look down (don't stare).
45. 41 - It’s not men seeing women that is the problem, it's men not really seeing women in full. It comes down to men taking responsibility
47.57 - Zia still has experiences patriarchy in himself because is such a deep-rooted thing, what changed him was education.
55.19 - Zia's wife started washing the guest's hands after eating but when she got to Zia he stopped her. She was surprised and happy.
55.53 - Maybe Zia's father wanted to change, but he was scared. But he was very happy that Zia changed. He was never interested in his daughter's education but he was very keen on his granddaughter's education.
01:01:56 - Zia's cousin shows him the family tree. There are no women on the tree for 400 years until Zia put Malalas name on it. It was very unusual to put a women’s name on the family tree.