You Only Live Twice

Film Frown

Like James Bond in this 1967 film, we’re back from the dead. As Chris returns from a mental health break, he challenges his sanity and that of Paul and guest, Arturo. This lack luster Bond film is so bad that even Connery vowed to quit afterwards. Should you be brave enough to watch the 007 film yourself, here’s a list of available sources. Or, Arturo says fly to Mexico and buy a copy of the film from Roger Moore and Sean Connery in a supermarket. Just watch out for the trap doors.

• Child author Roald Dahl wrote the script. As Paul said, “That explains a lot about this film.”
• Arturo was on our Montreal Sauce Halloween special.
• The James Bond Formula is a thing.
• Pervy Chris admits that his favorite Bond was George Lazenby in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.
• Paul wants to cut the beginning of this film together with Gravity, or to have the astronaut pull an Iron Man like Mark Whatney.
• Space is dark according to this movie and The Expanse books.
• Did you know there is an Outer Space Treaty?
• The first scene with Bond has an amazing mix of racism & misogyny to truly disgust you.
• Did you know there’s a movie cars database? Sure there is and this is the 2000GT Aki drives.
• The Rock’s grandfather plays a henchman who Bond beats awkwardly with a couch.
• Arturo’s opinion that Bond drinks too much on the job has validity.
• Bond hits the chair like Riker.
• Does Connery play Bond in Zardoz.
• Paul does his Connery impression and Chris tries using Connery’s line from Dragonheart, but he sounds more like Brian Blessed.
• Little Nellie was an actual production model helicopter, the Wallis Autogyro.
• So are all the henchmen evil and it’s okay that they die? It’s the Clerks debate.
• Dr. Claw must be inspired by this film.
• Ninja school didn’t have a pommel horse for the Gymkata.
• So the “rocket guns” in the film are a real thing. They were stoked to have their product in the film. Too bad it was a terrible invention.
• Connery becomes Spock? Oh, no. It is much worse than that.
• When swimming from an exploding volcano hideout, you need a hat like a shark fin.
• Who will be the next Bond? Arturo says maybe Michael Fassbender.
• Paul compares Bond to Kirk from Star Trek. They are from a similar period and are a similar archetype.
• Arturo and Paul now want to watch a good Bond film, GoldenEye.

Thanks for listening to a lengthy show! Thanks to Arturo for joining us. Perhaps he should do the recap instead of Chris? His impression of Roald Dahl pitching the film is much shorter and hilarious. Stay tuned for more spy shenanigans this season. Up next is Dean Martin as Matt Helms in Murderer’s Row.

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