S02 E16 | Ralf Rangnick's Quicksand Experience, Go On Mer'son & The Maze Of Mesmeric Feet

Footballland

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Some new year resolutions are bigger than others. We're not belittling your yearly vow to drink 3 pints fewer per week before inevitably giving up by early Feb, but we have a serious resolution here at Footballland - to build the world's first football theme park in Qatar for the World Cup in Qatar this year in Qatar. If we don't, not only will we have let ourselves down, we'll have let all football fans down too. Plus we'll be put in prison for embezzling 1 billion dollars. It's very much a carrot and stick affair.

So with time against us, let's announce THREE new rides.

RALF RANGNICK'S QUICKSAND EXPERIENCE

To replicate the new Man United manager's impossible job, we're filling a replica Old Trafford with Quicksand and making punters solve a jigsaw puzzle before they're sucked under into the netherworld for a perfunctory chat with Ed Woodward.

GO ON MER'SON

We love Paul Merson, but let's face it, he's not particularly good at anything is he? So Ryan proposes to close Footballland for a day while we find the former dynamo his new calling.

THE MAZE OF MESMERIC FEET

Mark Davison has a phobia of feet, so he proposes a whole Maze full of leg ends. Why does he do that? Seriously, why? It doesn't make any sense.

As always thank you so much for supporting us. Send us your ride ideas and we promise we'll build them.

Lots of love,

Anthony, Mark and Ryan

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