A little bit on the side: Having an affair to liven up your marriage

Get Over Yourself! The Milt n Mia Show's podcast

A little bit on the side: Having an affair to liven up your marriage

After Milt introduces the show, he speaks about their 2 relationship booklets, The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Cheating and Betrayal and The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Creating Happiness in a Relationship, before opening today's theme, having an affair to liven up your marriage. He mentions an article which outlined how a man had an affair and his wife, when she learned about it, responded by getting in shape and doing what she could to please her husband including more attention, which the article indicates has worked wonders, though Milt says, “I don't think that's a good recipe for reviving your marriage, do you, Mia?” Mia, “Sometimes it may work, so you acknowledge the good one you have at home. In some cases it may be exactly what is needed to wake up and realize, though an affair can lead to other complications. The affair is always good at the beginning, but then things change; and it's hard to stop in the middle of your marriage and say, 'Maybe I'm not giving enough love to my husband, maybe I am too tired and out of shape'.”

Milt reads an email from a man who references that article and tell show his own wife is overweight and has lost sexual desire and he is now wondering if he should go find an affair. Mia, “If you're gonna have an affair, I think you should first come to your wife and say, 'You're out of shape and our sex life has gotten stagnant'. You gotta give the other person a chance to turn things around, but most people don't honestly communicate. You need to come to each other and say, 'I'm tired of you, look at you, you come home and drink beer, you're overweight and our sex life is dead'. Men always forget about the woman, in all society's, and it's the woman's time now. It's one thing to be a little overweight but if you're obese, you need to do something about it, since the problem has been out of control for awhile. The thing a couple needs to do is watch the signs and don't let things go too far. It's then much easier to find a sexy body and ignore the one at home.” Milt, “You said it again, that very difficult concept which everyone is struggling with, Honesty: if people are honest with each other at all phases of their relationship, so many issues just aren't!” Mia, “Before you have the affair, give your partner a chance, try to solve the problems at home first.” Mia goes on to outline her thoughts, including the suggestion of being honest with the woman you're having an affair with, or simply hiring a sex worker if things don't get better. Milt feels the guy is being foolish, “We tend to fantasize about what we don't have, but we don't put much effort into thinking it out and what might take place.” Mia, “Sometimes we push each other to have an affair an we don't even see it.” Milt, “This may be controversial, but women have a way of pushing a man's buttons and they don't see it as being a crime at all; maybe this guy is just tired of being badgered.”

Milt reads an email from a woman with a great man who hasn't asked her to marry him after 7 years and wants to know what to do. Mia, “7 years is long enough, but if he doesn't want to marry after that long, you have to suspect something. The fact that he is escaping, it shows he is hiding something and isn't ready, so you have to ask yourself what you really want.” Milt, “I have a few questions, one rhetorical: should all relationships lead to marriage? Marriage in this case strikes me as not being right for the guy. Maybe she's pressuring him, maybe she's jealous and insecure.” Mia, “But if you have a kid, you want tor raise them in an environment that's committed, secure and healthy, and if you love someone, you want to tie knots. But why doesn't he want to marry? If he really cared, he would marry you.” Milt, “You suspect he may be having affairs.” Mia, “There's something behind this. It's important for her, and she isn't happy, so she needs to move on, since she suspects something and wants the commitment.” Milt, “How long should a couple be together before they get married?” Mia, “It all depends and each couple is different, but I would say 2 years.”

He reads another email similar to the last, a young woman asking if marriage is worth it today, which they discuss at length before Milt wraps up the show.