Feeling the Shock and Moving Past Denial in Betrayal Trauma

Healing with WORTH

In this episode of Healing with Worth, Janine and Naomi take a deep dive into the stages of the grief cycle, focusing particularly on the stages of shock and obsession. They discuss the initial shock that comes with the discovery of betrayal, explaining how it can push someone into a trance-like state, triggering fight, flight, or freeze responses. The hosts emphasize that this overwhelming reaction is a natural survival mechanism as one grapples with the sudden upheaval of their reality.

They also explore the tendency to enter a state of obsession, where ruminating thoughts about the future of the relationship can dominate, making it difficult to function in daily life. Janine and Naomi stress the importance of self-care during this stage, including eating, drinking, and sleeping, as these basic needs are crucial for navigating through the shock and beginning the healing process.

The episode also touches on the interconnectedness of shock and denial, explaining how denial can coexist with shock as a way to protect oneself from the full impact of the betrayal. However, they caution against getting stuck in denial, as it can hinder the healing process. They discuss the importance of acknowledging the damage done to the relationship and oneself, rather than skipping straight to forgiveness, which can prevent true healing.

The conversation is rounded out with personal insights and experiences, highlighting the complexities of forgiveness and the necessity of seeing real change in a partner's behavior before moving forward.