Actions, Not Words

Insight of the Week

Much of Parashat Tazria is devoted to the laws of tzara’at – a type of plague which came in various forms, affecting either a person’s skin, his clothing, or his home. Our tradition teaches that in ancient times, tzara’at would befall a person as a punishment, mainly for the sin of lashon ha’ra – gossip and negative speech about other people. One of the indications in the text of this connection between tzara’at and lashon ha’ra is the process required when a person heals from tzara’at . In order to regain his status of tahara (purity), he must undergo a detailed procedure, which begins with a ceremony involving two birds (Vayikra 14:4). Rashi explains why birds are required for this process. He writes that a person would suffer tzara’at because of lashon ha’ra , which involves פטפוטי דברים – excessive chattering. In order to atone for this sin, he needs to bring birds, שמפטפטין תמיד בצפצוף קול – who constantly make chirping noise. There are several different aspects to the sin of lashon ha’ra . Rashi here points to one particular aspect – פטפוטי דברים , talking too much. Many people who are guilty of frequently speaking lashon ha’ra simply talk excessively. The importance of controlling one’s mouth is expressed by Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel, in a Mishna in Pirkeh Avot (1:17): כל ימי גדלתי בין החכמים, ולא מצאתי לגוף טוב אלא שתיקה. I grew up my entire life among the sages, and I found nothing better for the body than silence. Rabban Shimon describes the value of silence as the most beneficial quality a person can have. Why? People who speak excessively often think that their words can replace action. Instead of acting, doing and accomplishing, they talk, they try drawing attention to themselves and impressing people by talking. But words are no substitute for action. Greatness is achieved not by talking, but by working and doing. People who engage in פטפוטי דברים , excessive talking, often do so because they aren’t doing enough, they aren’t accomplishing. This is why Rabban Shimon introduces his teaching by saying, כל ימי גדלתי בין החכמים – that he had spent his life among great people. He saw that accomplished people are those who focus on actions rather than words, who do the heavy lifting instead of just talking. As important as verbal communication between husband and wife is, words do not suffice. A good spouse is one who does things for the other, who expresses his or her commitment through concrete action. The same is true of all relationships. Kind words are of course important, but a good friend is always there, is always willing to put in the effort to help and to nurture the friendship. At the Pesach seder , we list the ten plagues that Hashem brought upon the Egyptians, after which we state that Rabbi Yehuda היה נותן בהם סימנים – would use an acrostic to represent the ten plagues: דצ"ך עד"ש באחא"ב . I once saw a fascinating observation – that this same Rabbi Yehuda is described in Masechet Berachot (63b) as ראש המדברים בכל מקום – the Rabbi who was always the first to speak. Rabbi Yehuda, it seems, was regarded as the “top” public speaker of his time. How interesting it is that the ראש המדברים , the most highly regarded public speaker, was the one who היה נותן בהם סימנים – found concise ways of saying things. Specifically the man of few words, who knew how to keep his words brief, was the ראש המדברים , the leading speaker. Actions speak so much louder than words. Let’s try to avoid פטפוטי דברים , unnecessary talk, and focus on working, on investing effort, on being there for the people in our lives, so we can make a real difference and achieve greatness.