Words That Motivate

Insight of the Week

I once went into a classroom of 8 th -grade girls before Rosh Hashanah to speak to them about growth and change. I began by asking each student to specify one thing which she would like to change during the upcoming new year. I was expecting to hear answers such as “Improve my concentration during prayer,” “Being more careful about saying berachot ,” “Avoiding lashon ha’ra ,” and “Being more respectful to my parents.” But that’s not what the girls answered. One girl said, “My nose is too big.” Another said, “My hair is too curly.” A third girl said that she was too short and wanted to grow taller. I realized that these girls had a problem – they didn’t like themselves very much. They felt very insecure about their looks. I also realized that I needed to discard the class that I had prepared to give them, and to do something else, instead. I asked them to name the most famous painting in the history of art. Naturally, they replied, “the Mona Lisa.” I told them that I’ve seen pictures of the Mona Lisa, and, to be honest, I don’t particularly like the painting. It doesn’t strike me as anything special. But it doesn’t matter. It was created by one of the most famous and accomplished painters of all time (Leonardo da Vinci), and is regarded by art experts and enthusiasts as one of the greatest pieces of art ever produced. “Each and every one of you was created by Hashem, who is, without question, the greatest ‘artist’ ever,” I explained to the girls. “It doesn’t matter if somebody isn’t impressed by your looks. Each one of you is beautiful. You are all exactly the way you are supposed to be.” I tell this story here not to boast about my quick thinking, but to show how people today – especially young people – struggle with doubt and insecurity. One of the challenges educators face in today’s day and age is to motivate and encourage their students, rather than push them down further. And therefore, they need to be extremely careful in the way they speak to their students. They must ensure to speak in a way that motivates them, and not in a way that exacerbates their fears and self-doubt. In Parashat Tzav, we read of the miluim , the seven-day process whereby Aharon and his sons were formally consecrated as kohanim . Hashem began His commands by instructing Moshe, קח את אהרון ואת בניו איתו – “Take Aharon and his sons with him….” Rashi explains this to mean, קחנו בדברים ומשכהו – “Take him with words, and draw him.” Aharon and his sons likely had doubts about their worthiness for this lofty role. Hashem told Moshe to “take” them with words, to encourage and reassure them. This directive is given also to every educator and every parent. Children today are beset by fears and insecurities. We need to “take” them with words, to assure them that they are capable, that they are beautiful, that they are important, that they are full of goodness and full of potential. It is our responsibility to help them overcome their fears, to introduce them to their inner greatness, so they will be motivated and driven to put in the work necessary to achieve.