Family Culture is a Mother

Is A Mother

Family culture is a mother! And when we say culture we are not talking about race, gender, or ethnicity but rather an agreed-upon set of expectations of the social communities we exist in with our family units at the foundation. As we grow families of our own, it becomes a balancing act of integrating each parent’s respective cultural norms to create your core family’s unique culture.
In episode 12 of ___ Is a Mother, Jamie uses the foundations of the Intercultural Conflict Style (ICS) assessment with PV and Brett (married and co-parenting a 4.5-year-old) to illustrate how it can help us understand our authentic approach to communication and addressing conflict—key elements of any family’s culture. Some of the talking points we go over in this episode include:

• A set of questions to consider to ground into our respective cultural beliefs.
• How someone might perceive themselves vs. how others may perceive them depending on their communication styles.
• The way we naturally react to conflict is rooted in our cultural norms and upbringing.
• Our individual culture and conflict style balances with the style of our partners’ to guide how we parent our children and define our core family’s culture.
• How Jamie uses the ICS assessment to help organizations establish an inclusive culture by understanding everyone’s unique and individual communication and conflict resolution styles.

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LINKS MENTIONED IN / RELEVANT TO THIS EPISODE:

Intercultural Conflict Style Assessment

Dr. Becky’s (parenting coach & clinical psychologist) TED talk on connection, modeling, and repair in parenting

Trauma psychologist Dr. Mariel Buqué’s book Break The Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma

Episode 10 Financial Planning is a Mother | www.karenholloway.nm.com

Chapters

1. Family Culture is a Mother (00:00:00)

2. A set of questions to consider to ground into our respective cultural beliefs. (00:04:06)

3. Brett's family embraces and welcomes emotional expression, including crying, while PV's family grew up with a "stay strong" mentality and saw crying as a sign of weakness. (00:11:21)

4. Conflict resolution styles and emotional expression. (00:16:28)

5. How different communication styles play into conflict resolution. (00:20:44)

6. Brett and PV discuss their conflict resolution styles and ways they agree or disagree with each other’s. (00:30:36)

7. Parents' differing communication and conflict styles impact parenting approach and create tension. (00:33:46)

8. Modeling healthy conflict resolution for our children who are always watching us. (00:45:48)

9. How Jamie uses the ICS assessment in her work. (00:50:35)