Age Does Not Matter

Living Emunah By Rabbi David Ashear

I have heard about numerous weddings taking place this past year where the bride was older than the groom, and in some cases by a few years. אשריכם ישראל that our young men are being guided by Daat Torah who does not conform to what the average person thinks is right and proper. Age does not matter. It's the person that matters. There are many zivugim that Hashem has created where the girl is older than the boy and therefore we must not get caught up in pettiness but rather keep our options open to whoever may be a proper match. I read a story that a man who we’ll call Reuven told about himself, which was very inspiring. He said he married a secular Jew like himself and raised his children with that upbringing. His wife eventually became religious, and he was not opposed. After ten years of marriage, his wife became fully Shomer Torah Mitzvot, and she managed to bring him along with her. Then, years after that, they felt they were even more thirsty for spirituality. They heard of a kollel for twenty families opening in a certain city in America. It was part of a well-known organization that operates many kollelim in far-flung locations. These kollelim become beacons of spirituality for their surroundings. He felt he was able to learn for a half a day, and so they decided to move there and try the kollel life. They sold their nice home and car to help with their future expenses. A few years passed and they were so happy with their new lifestyle until one day when everything changed. The donor who had been financing the project suddenly demanded that the local community leaders chip in. He thought he was going to get government assistance, but it never happened. When the community leaders denied his request, he announced his complete withdrawal from the project. Then began the mass exodus with all the families looking for new places to live. There was no way any of them could continue living in the middle of nowhere with nobody paying their bills. Everyone left except Reuven and his chavruta. He learned every day with his chavruta with no clear plans on what he would do going forward. Eventually, he had to make a decision. He put his head down on the table one day and cried, asking Hashem to please allow him to keep learning. He accepted upon himself to learn a full day if such an opportunity would present itself. About a month later, they received a letter from a lawyer saying they were the sole relatives of a man who recently passed away and he left his entire fortune to them. It was a relative of his wife's, and it was for millions of dollars. They used that money to make aliyah and buy a nice house in Israel, and he continued his learning in a full-time kollel. Today, he is the happiest man. When he recalls the events of his life that led to where he is, he becomes emotional. When his wife-to-be was originally suggested as a possible match, he found out she was six years older than him. That seemed like an unbridgeable age gap. But after contemplating it a lot and dating some others in between, he decided to give up on his ideal age gap and go out with her. At the time he thought he was compromising, but who is the one who brought him close to Hashem? Who is the one who got him a dream inheritance of millions of dollars? This wife who is an Eshet Chayil. Age does not matter, only the person matters.