Ep #95 Healthy Solutions to Confront Life’s Challenges

Living Inside Out with Toks

We’re just five episodes away from our 100th episode, and we’re planning to celebrate big! I have some exciting ideas, including recording in front of a live audience. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, so please let me know what you think.

Embracing Challenges

This week, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to graduate students in Brazil, and it has left me on a high. It got me thinking about the challenges we all face in life.

After months of waiting for a challenging season to end, I’ve finally embraced it as a part of life. Have you ever found yourself waiting, like being in a valley, hoping someone will hoist you up to the mountain? Life in the valley is something we all experience. It’s a stop on our journey but not where we’re meant to stay. If you’re in a valley, surrounded by mountains and obstacles, know that this too shall pass.

The Power of Perspective

Recently, I had a revelation about our thoughts, emotions, and circumstances. It’s not the circumstance that causes us to feel discouraged, sad, or angry—it’s our thoughts. Circumstances are neutral; they don’t carry any power. It’s our interpretation of them that shapes our emotions. This explains why two people in the same situation can react so differently.

A Personal Anecdote

I’ll share a recent personal experience to illustrate this. I changed my phone provider, moving from a high business tariff to a much lower one. The switch-over process wasn’t smooth, and the new company only offered live chat support. You can imagine the frustration! During my first interaction, I was getting annoyed. I even felt like cursing out the agent, but I managed to keep my anger in check 🙈

Although the problem wasn’t resolved by the third conversation, my reaction was different. I felt irritation rising but managed to push it down. Here’s why:

1. I had a chat with myself after the first interaction.
2. this conversation was at home, at the start of the day, when I was at peace and not stressed.
3. It was a different day—Friday, to be exact!

Shifting Your Mindset

Recognising that circumstances don’t directly dictate our emotions allows us to work on our internal responses. Here are three mindset shifts to adopt during challenging seasons:

1. Accept that everyone goes through challenges.
   When I lost my business in the 2008 recession, it helped to know that it wasn’t just me—many were affected. Understanding that challenges are normal in life can help us feel less burdened and more focused on moving forward. Resist the temptation to compare your life to others. Accepting that challenges are universal and neutral stops you from searching for the cause of your pain and allows you to nurture your soul.

2. Resist the urge to medicate the pain.
   It’s natural to want to avoid pain, but sometimes, the path to our destination involves facing difficulties head-on. There’s treasure to be found in dark places, but only if we resist the urge to numb ourselves with distractions like alcohol, shopping, or binge-watching TV.

3. Don’t search for someone or something to blame.
   Blame is a common response to crises, but it doesn’t help us move forward. Instead of pointing fingers, take responsibility for your life. This doesn’t mean blaming yourself—it means owning your journey. By doing so, you remain in control and can more effectively navigate challenges.

Final Thoughts

Challenges often involve deception, which blinds us to the goodness around us and amplifies our struggles. Remember, deception is simply a lie posing as truth. The best way to counter it is by internalising and speaking the truth—God is good, and His plans for you are to prosper you and give you hope and a future.

Announcements

I'll be hosting a PR workshop on the 27th of June to teach and share with you the nitty-gritty of building your personal/business brand. These are the strategies I used to grow from $75 in the corner of my room to the destination for luxury baby furniture in London.
Here's what you can expect to take away from the workshop: Learn MY tips and strategies that got me featured in top publications such as The Telegraph, The Times, The Metro, etc.

1. Discover how to build a strong online presence that attracts clients and opportunities and makes you feel confident and visible!
2. Master the art of storytelling to make your brand stand out, and get access to exclusive insights you won't find elsewhere
3. Learn how to craft pitches that land you on top media platforms and make your voice heard!

Join me on Zoom on 27th of June,2024 and take the first step towards elevating your brand with PR mastery.
Register now on the website or send an email to [e-mail].

Spaces are limited, so sign up soon. For personal insights and reflections, check out my “Dear Diary” segment on social media and YouTube.

Action Point

Be especially mindful this week and watch your emotional response to uncomfortable situations; then ask yourself, what thought created this feeling, or what did I just think? This will help to self-regulate emotions as opposed to being at their mercy.