Episode 25: Mindsets That Make You Magnetic

Lunch With The Garzas

6 Most important mindsets that will make you magnetic

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.” Gandhi

These mindsets will help you become a more charismatic person.

No matter what, I will be okay

The most fundamental mindset to Charisma So many people live their life wrapped in a mental loop of ‘what if questions’ What if I speak up and my boss doesn’t like my idea? What if I ask her on a date and she says no? All of these what if questions stop people from expressing who they truly are!!! We must defeat these ‘what if’ questions, and realize that everything will always be okay. The repercussions for worst case scenarios are not so bad! If your boss doesn’t like the idea, move on.
Bravery to put your idea into the world Your idea could change the world
This skill comes from knowing: No matter what I will be okay. Enables you to act with freedom that most people never experience.
Everyone else is too stuck in the loop of fear and rejection
You can and should take risks in expressing yourself
Ideas how you feel asking people cracking jokes speaking your mind
Others will see that you are immune to social pressure and that you express who you are. They will gravitate toward you, because that is a strength that most people want to have themselves. If you ever find yourself stuck, not knowing if you should speak up, come back to this belief because it is so critical.

I care more about my character than my reputation

Character is more important than how people perceive you You realize that the way that you are matters more than the way that people think that you are So many people spend their lives managing the opinions of other people ‘Will they think this, if I do that’ ‘Even if I say the truth they still won’t believe me’ If you focus on doing the right thing:
worrying about your own character, and then letting people form opinions about you, what happens is that people see that you are not overly invested in controlling how they feel

‘Wait a sec. if they don’t care about how I feel, I can trust them to be genuine and honest It’s paradoxical SO, if you focus on your character and stop investing so much effort into controlling peoples opinions, what tends to happen is that you feel freedom to be who you are People will also have better opinions of you once you act this way

BTW we are always here for you guys for honest opinions

You have impeccable honesty and integrity

This is the one that is least emphasized and needs to be talked about much more Every time you tell a lie, even a small lie,
‘I’m on my way’ but you are still showering
You are building a reputation with yourself Your reputation with yourself is that you sometimes say things that aren’t true Even if no one else finds out, you still know this This devastates your ability to speak with conviction, which is critical to charisma The ability to look someone in the eye and say that you believe 100% what is coming out of your mouth. You fully stand behind what you say When you lie sometimes, you hurt your ability to speak with conviction all the time. It may come through in little gestures, a flinch, eye contact, a waver of voice, etc. The lie will break through Cut that shit out today. There will be a penalty to pay If you have started building a life that is created of small lies built over time, walking back and exposing the truth can hurt.

There are rare situations that you do not need to expose a truth Someone dying doesn’t need to know that you don’t believe in god. If you don’t tell the truth you are crushing your self esteem and ability to form genuine relationships in your life

You do not need to convince anyone of anything.

Not caring vs. persuasion The idea behind how to be more persuasive: make your asks more persuasive. Increase the odds that someone wants to do the things that you want them to do. BUT, the idea is not that you repeat that same cycle over and over, badgering them You never need anyone to do anything, you are simply asking them Where people run into trouble is when they have relationships in their life where they feel they absolutely need to get someone to work a certain way Then you enter into neediness aka. Trying to convince You have gone back and forth over the same issue many times Your charisma is destroyed because you need something from that person The charismatic person simply asks, and if the answer is yes: great.
can I deal with this in a way that is acceptable to me or do I need to weed this person or situation out.
If the answer is no, ask yourself:
This can be very hard. If someone is not treating you the way you like to be treated, do not engage in this cycle of trying to force them to be different Accept that the relationship will remain the way it is, or filter them out of your life Once you start filtering these peripheral relationships, the people who do not push you, people who look at new opportunities with a discouraging eye When you filter them out, you make room for the type of people who are going to lift you up.

Start communicating your purpose more proactively

A lot of people spend a lot of their lives engaged in small talk Wind up with the same answer.
Job title, vacation, blah blah
Charasmatic people have a purpose that they are fired up by They won’t shove it down your throat, but when it comes up in conversation they will tell you what their purpose is Start telling people your purpose, and before you know it people will help you achieve it. This incredible thing happens, but only because they repeatedly put it out there Other humans hear, they are inspired by the message, they are inspired by the desire, then they help Make sure to put your purpose into the world

You need to start going first

Be the first person to extend praise in a group of people who aren’t comfortable doing that First person in a group of strangers who cracks a joke First person to say something vulnerable You are leading the group in ways that they can connect more. This signifies leadership and bravery to other people. You are doing what others are nervous to do. When you do that you will naturally become the type of person that others want to be around Whole group dynamics can shift. Everyone will get vulnerable, everyone will tell a joke. All of a sudden you are connecting in ways that were not previously possible Be the person who takes the social risk No matter what happens, it will be okay

As you start to incorporate these mindsets into your life, they will start to make a tremendous difference. Build the mindsets with surface level ideas such as body language and eye contact.