Episode 24: Confidence

Lunch With The Garzas

Confidence

“To establish true self-confidence, we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” — Denis Waitley

Nobody is born with high or low self-confidence. Confidence is a feeling that people develop and work on over time. For most people, confidence is something that comes and goes.

ME:

Very confident in High school Lost a lot of confidence in college Had to gain it back CONFIDENCE COMES AND GOES. You must constantly work on your confidence.

Think in terms of a cycle

Top of cycle
Focused on successes, accomplishments Feel confident and strong
Bottom
Focused on failures May feel low self-confidence and defeat
Realize that confidence is like a muscle: the more you work on it, the easier it will become for you to use and maintain

We see this cycle constantly in NM. The ups and downs. Highs and Lows

NM: getting people to drink your koolaid No one wants to drink your koolaid = confidence hit This is why we are constantly focused on self development It’s a tough industry. You must be strong and work on your confidence.

What is Self Confidence?

Feeling when strutting into an interview, knowing that you will impress A person feels confident when they believe they can successfully do something by
Applying their judgement, knowledge and prior life experiences

How does SC impact your life?

Boosts our self-esteem Diminishes stress Pushes us to act Makes us feel good about ourselves

People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

People are reluctant to back a person who is
nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic
People are persuaded by people who
speak clearly, hold their head high, answer questions assuredly, and readily admit when they do not know something.

Confident Behavior vs. Low Confidence behavior

Confident Behavior

Doing what you believe to be right, even if criticized or mocked Being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things Admitting your mistakes, and learning from them Waiting for others to congratulate you on your accomplishments Accepting compliments graciously.

Low-Confidence behavior

Governing behavior based on what other people think Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure, and avoiding taking risks Working hard to cover up mistakes and hoping that you can fix the problem before anyone notices Talking about your accomplishments to as many people as possible Dismissing compliments offhandedly.

The examples show that low confidence can be self destructive, and it often manifests as negativity.

What contributes toward SC?

self-efficacy and self-esteem

Self Efficacy: a belief that you have the innate ability to achieve your goals, overcome challenges and succeed.

We gain a sense of self-efficacy when:

we see ourselves mastering skills And achieving goals that matter in those skill areas.
This is the confidence that, if we learn to work hard in a particular area, we’ll succeed. This type of confidence leads people to accept difficult challenges Persist in the face of setbacks

This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem.

Self-Esteem: Person’s evaluation on their self worth and value Confidence and SE have a direct correlation When you believe in yourself, your talents, capabilities, worth and potential - both your SE and SC increases. When your SE increases
You believe you are worthy of the life you dream of and the success you desire. You will become more confident Easily accept your failures Give yourself the credit you deserve Accept new challenges Become happier
This has a relationship with happiness
People who feel good about themselves are significantly happier than those who lack self worth.
When SC increases, SE and happiness do the same.

Building Self Confidence

There is no quick fix The things that you do to build confidence will help build your success Have focus and determination.

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” — Arthur Ashe

Step 1: Preparing your journey

Look at what you have already achieved
List the ten best things you’ve achieved. Spend a few minutes each week looking at these achievements to see success that you have already had

Think about your strengths
Take a look at who you are Personality tests What would your friends consider to be your strengths and weaknesses

Think about what is important to you and where you want to go
Setting and achieving goals is the key to this Real confidence comes from achieving goals Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face

Start managing your mind
Defeat negative self-talk: can destroy your confidence Create strong mental images of what you’ll feel and experience as you achieve your major goals

Commit yourself to success
Promise yourself that you are committed to your journey and that you will do everything in your power to achieve it If doubts start to surface
Write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally Manage these doubts appropriately

Use appearance to your advantage
2 equally qualified candidates at a job interview App 1: doesn’t shake hand, slouches, no eye contact, looks messy App 2: Firm handshake, sits up straight, looks you in the eye, wears nice suit
Who would you choose?
It’s proven: people who feel good about the way they look feel greater SC and SE Use your appearance and body language to make yourself feel more confident in any situation.

Step 2: Setting Out

Start to move toward your goal ever so slowly Do the right things and celebrate the small wins

Build the knowledge that you need to succeed
Look at your goals and identify skills needed to achieve them Look at how you can aqcuire these skills confidently and well (don’t accept half-ass) Look for a program or course that full equips you to achieve wha you want to achieve

Accelerate towards success
Once you have completed some learning, you will have plenty of success to celebrate Start stretching yourself. Make your goals bigger, and the challenges tougher. Increase the size of your commitment

Self-confidence is not always easy to achieve or maintain but it’s something that everyone deserves to experience. There are many reasons why confidence is essential in our personal and professional lives, but most importantly, it plays an integral role in our happiness.