MMN 034: Women in Transition - I - with Diann Wingert

Make a Mental Note

In this episode of the Make a Mental Note podcast, Diann Wingert, a licensed clinical social worker, discusses the characteristics of women in mid-life transition and how they can “navigate the waters of change.” Give it a listen and find out why this episode is worthy of a mental note! Get the show notes on the "Make a Mental Note" page at http://www.chrisquarto.com/

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Mental Notes:

* Mid-life women come into counseling with similar issues – anxiety, depression, marital difficulties, conflict with family members, dissatisfaction with careers, etc.

* Women are going through many changes biologically during middle adulthood, which influences how they feel about every aspect of their lives.

* Some women who are in marriages that have been functioning well may not feel fulfilled and start questioning whether they want to continue in their relationships.

* “Grey divorce” – the rates of divorce among couples over 50 is increasing.

* “Mid-life crisis” was a term coined in the 1960s – an experience that was linked to men. However, the current generation of women participates in the work force and has not necessarily stayed at home with their children.

* More divorces are initiated by women than by men, which is likely due to the cultural shift that has happened since women have been in the work force. In addition, more women have the financial wherewithal to imagine living separately.

* Reasons women question their relationships/are dissatisfied with relationships: it’s human nature to want to change their circumstances when they’re unhappy. Women contemplate, “How would I feel if I made this change?” Much of human behavior is driven by how people think a change will make them feel.

* When women are in their 20s, they might think about intimate relationships/marriage and having a family and these things may come to fruition in their 30s. In their 40s to mid-50s, women are living out those decisions, but are going through hormonal changes. Some women may question whether or not they want to continue with their current life choices. In some cases, women might think that they need to unmake one of those earlier life choices if they do not think that they’re heading in a direction that will bring them long-term fulfillment. It’s either the career or marriage or both that are up for review and questioning.

* Informed consent should guide women’s decisions. Women should think through decisions and not allow feelings to dictate what they do. Slowing down the process of making decisions and anchoring them around the happiness U curve, helping women understand what’s happening biologically that tends to affect decisions, teaching them mediation/mindfulness, and helping them identify core values are all part of making well-informed decisions and moving forward in life.

* When women change the way they think about various circumstances in their lives it helps them change the way they feel.

* Building stress tolerance is an important part of helping women-in-transition.

* Women need the tools to cope with stress, but also need to process where they are and what they want in life.

* It’s important that women understand where they’re at developmentally to place their issues in proper context and help them with decision-making/what they want at this point in their lives.

* Basic lifestyle habits – the “pillars of health” – can make a huge impact on a person’s mental well-being. These include good nutrition, adequate hydration, movement, sleep, doing things that bring joy, and spirituality (however a person defines that for herself).

Mental Notes Takeaway:

* When women change the way they think about various circumstances in their lives it helps them change the way they feel (e.g., reframing transitions as opportunities).

Check It Out:

* Diann Wingert’s website: diannwingert.com