Rule 073 | Sympathy Pains Can Lead To Sympathy Problems

Marriage Is Funny

This week, Gerard + Jessie learn that sympathy pains can extend from partner to partner, as well as from person to pet. Appliance anxiety causes destruction at Casa de Pepper and the whole family is shocked that no one actually got shocked. Depression isn’t always easy to talk about, but it’s important to tell your spouse how you feel for the sake of boosting the overall (mental) health of the marriage.

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QUICK BITES:

Jessie and Sadie suffer from sympathy pains in everything from back pain to misophonia to general anxiety.

We are trying to figure out the best ways to keep our girl calm, and these herbal pills and CBD drops are starting to help. We loved this podcast episode about separation anxiety and are thinking about getting Sadie a thundershirt for any noisy holiday nights.

Jessie is pumped about the new Thrive Market clean wines + Gerard gets on board with the sustainable meat + seafood section!

Sadie’s anxiety started with Summer fireworks, but we’re hoping that it stops at the infamous attack of our air conditioning unit.

The Peppers try to decide if electricity can scramble someone’s mental health. Are there any scientists in the audience who would like to weigh in?

Jessie shares about her struggles with anxiety + depression and wants the Gang to know that they can find hope in healing. Three things that have helped with her own personal progress: Studying self awareness, designing her life around alignment, and embracing spirituality in a wholehearted way.

Please be careful of adverse reactions in pet vaccines! This has happened to us twice, and thankfully never resulted in the loss of any furbabies. (A related warning to our local friends: Don’t EVER take your animals to the Long Beach ER Vet on PCH + Ximeno.)

Jessie’s new Amazon-fueled guilty pleasures: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and sugar-free dark chocolate chips.

A Henri Nouwen quote that is encouraging us this week: “As soon as we feel at home in our own house, discovering the dark corners as well as the light spots, the closed doors as well as the drafty rooms, our confusion will evaporate and our anxiety will diminish and we will then become capable of creative work.” -- From The Wounded Healer.

The podcast Jen Gotch is OK… Sometimes is a great resource if you’d like to listen to someone share their personal experience, and she also gives tons of info and resources about mental health.

For anyone who’s been told, “If you’re sad, just pray about it,” we are here to assure you that God is fully ready and willing to sit with you in your pain. Jessie has taken a deep look at how her sense of spirituality helps her operate in the world, and this approach has made a significant difference in her overall wellbeing.

Gerard describes his experience of worry and stress and how they both pertain to his own emotions. There are distinct differences between anxiety and depression, especially when it comes to clinical and situational settings.

Knowing how to support your partner during a difficult time is the key to pulling through the depths together, in one piece. Jessie learns that her attempt at coaching Gerard is not always well-received, so The Peppers get honest about what either one wants when they happen to be feeling low.

Jessie is a big fan of practicing gratitude daily and has evidence to show as to why it helps keep anxiety at bay. TLDR: Filling your brain with good stuff will leave less room for the things that brings you stress.

This week’s MIF Mailbag highlights a listener question about how to support your spouse during a bout of depression… Gerard relies on something that we call “redirection” and it’s become a very effective tool to help pull someone out of a funk.

Distraction Disclaimer: This is not the same as avoiding or ignoring your problems, and it’s far more about giving the other person the choice to get pulled out of their “well” as you help them climb up to safety.

The bottom line is that asking your partner, “What do you need in this moment?” is often the best way to find out which way to go next.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

1.) Do you ever get sympathy pains when your partner is uncomfortable?

2.) Have you ever tried a gratitude practice? Do you believe that it would help you in a moment of stress?

3.) What do you typically want or need from your spouse when you’re feeling down in the dumps?