"How do I reduce my approach anxiety?"

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In this video I break down approach anxiety into essentially two different types: that experienced by the novice male with few approaches, and that experienced by the more advanced male despite his many thousands of approaches. In other words, there's value to be garnered here even for more experienced males who otherwise consider themselves as having moved far beyond having approach anxiety. Let's start with discussing approach anxiety for more novice males: If you're at stage-zero and still struggling to say hi to women in general, the starting point is telling yourself that "The approach itself is the success." She can reject you. Great. Because it's not about whether you get her contact that matters. It's the fact that you are able to walk up to her and introduce yourself, period, that is the success. If you frame the approach itself as the metric for success, you always have a 100% success rate insofar as you say hi. Once again, it's not about whether she rejects you or not. Just making the mere approach - that's it - *is* the success. Another point is recognizing that rejection is going to be the overwhelming majority of your approaches no matter what. You can't avoid this. Do not try to circumvent or minimize rejection. It will never go away no matter who you are, what you say, or what you do. That is to say, rather than looking at your rejections as though you're doing something wrong, understand that rejection will literally never go away, forever and ever. It doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter what you look like. Do you know how much I get rejected? All the time. Every day. In perpetuity. If you were to approach with me here in Japan and say, "Michael, you're so incredible. Show me how you pick up the ladies." It would essentially just be a clinic in you watching me take incessant rejection. You'd say, "Wow, I thought this guy was supposed to be good with women." And my response would be, "Incessant rejection is not some adverse alternative to sexual outcomes with women; it's a *prerequisite* for them." You will take inordinately more rejections from women than you will ever have contact exchanges and sexual outcomes. The latter are impossible without intractable rejection. Once again, it will never go away no matter what. So your two starting points for eliminating approach anxiety as a novice male: 1) The approach itself is the success. 2) Rejection is normal and occurs inordinately more often than conversions. It will never go away no matter who you are, what you say, or what you do. Forever. In perpetuity. (And Mike Mehlman gets rejected all of the time. That helps too.) But let's say you're still experiencing approach anxiety despite the above. What can you do? I've talked about in one of my old articles how...

Continue reading: https://mikemehlman.net/2020/12/24/how-do-i-reduce-my-approach-anxiety/