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Episode 7: How to have more influence in your relationship with your child
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Today I'm talking about how you can have more influence in your relationship with your child.
In life we all have rules that we live by. What would you say if I asked you what needs to happen for you to feel loved.
One of you might say 'connection', the other might say 'saying it' and someone else might say 'cuddles'. We all have different rules in life.
This is not only for feeling loved. We also have rules for the following:
- feeling secure/safe
- feeling significant
- feeling appreciated/valued
- feeling listened to
- feeling respected
We have many rules that we live by. Sometimes we treat the other ( our partner or child ) by our own rules. I give the example of a mother whose daughter says that she doesn't love her. The mother days, I don't understand, I give her everything she needs. What this mother didn't know was that she was loving her child by her own rules and not the child's rules. Once she discovered that her child's rules to feel loved was spending quality time together things changed.
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Take care,
Erik Wagter
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