Codependency 101

Sacred by Design

Grab a cup of tea and take a deep breath. Hold the cup in your hands and let its warmth travel through you as you listen.
We’re unpacking a big word for you on this episode: Codependency.
As you’re listening and maybe begin to recognize things in your own story, be gentle, be curious, be kind.
This is a complicated topic. So, we’ll explore it carefully through the lens of story.
Codependency can often be traced back to childhood, linking to your relationships with your mom or dad.
What you learned to believe about you and your relationship to others back then is having an impact on your relationships now. The hard truth is we can return to what’s familiar, even if it’s bad for us, when we’ve grown up in dysfunction.
So, let’s learn what Codependency can look like and how to grow through it.
Recovery is true and possible. Your inherent dignity and honor is sacred by design.
Highlights:
Codependency is when a person has a serious lack of self-understanding and/or self-acceptance. They look to others to fill that void and to make them worthwhile.
What Codependency can look like:
If another person needs you, you feel like you have a purpose.
You are desperately needing approval from others.
You’re frustrated if you can’t make others happy, if you can’t fix them.
And you forget yourself and your needs.
Codependency is traced back to childhood, often linked to relationships with parents/care-givers.
Truth: Recovery is true and possible.
Story is a powerful teacher. Know your story. Get in touch with your story. Write it out. Talk to somebody about your story and you’ll be able to connect some of the dots.
Once you get that awareness from your story work, it explains so much.
We all have 4 basic needs: to be seen, soothed, safe and secure. If you were missing those as a child, name the need. This is just saying, Recognizing those needs and where they weren’t met is empowering.
There is a lot of re-parenting that goes on here with our own selves to our younger selves. And allowing God to be the perfect parent to re-parent us. There’s a lot of re-parenting that goes on in codependency.
We return to what’s familiar, even if it’s bad for us when we grow up in dysfunction.
If you’re unable to express your feelings and your needs, then you’re just like, “Whatever you need. Whatever you want, take it.” And it is sexualized in ways that are very interesting. We don’t know what else to do. And others can respond to sexual offerings.
Questions to Journal: Be gentle with yourself here.
Who did God create me to be?
Before the world told me who I was, who am I?
How might God want me to live my life?
How might God want to live my life with me?
How do I look to God for what only He can give me?
How could I allow God to heal me and to begin the process of wholeness?
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