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Episode 339 Caitlin's VBAC with Preeclampsia + Signing an AMA & Switching Providers

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Content provided by Meagan Heaton. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Meagan Heaton or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.

Joining us from Texas today is Caitlin and it is her birthday!

Caitlin’s first baby was born at 34 weeks via an emergency C-section due to elevated blood pressure and fetal distress. Though she was scared, it was not a traumatic experience and her recovery went well. She just knew that moving forward for future births, she wanted to experience labor and she wanted something different.

Caitlin talks about the importance of knowing not just your provider’s general stance on VBAC, but their specific policies surrounding it.

At 39 weeks, she went to the hospital with preeclamptic symptoms. Still counting on her provider to support her VBAC, Caitlin started to face things she wasn’t comfortable with. Her symptoms were under control, but she could tell that her baby wasn’t yet ready to come. She knew she needed to sign an AMA and go home.

When the time came, Caitlin was able to advocate for the birth she wanted, declined the interventions she knew she didn’t truly need, and leaned on those who felt safe in her space.

“Having the VBAC made me so proud and confident in myself and any future births that I’m blessed with.”

Happy Birthday, Caitlin!!

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details

Meagan: Hello, hello Women of Strength. You guys, I am so excited for today’s episode. We have our friend, Caitlin, from– are you from Texas? Where are you from?

Caitlin: I’m from Texas, yes.

Meagan: Texas. Yes. I wanted to say that then I started questioning myself. She is from Texas and we just went over a quick rough draft of all the things that happened in her birth and there are so many points I feel like to her birth. One, she’s a VBAC. She had preeclampsia with her first and her second. This is her second baby during her VBAC and with her first, she signed an AMA so we are going to talk about that and what that looks like. We’re going to talk more about preeclampsia. We’re going to talk about switching providers. One, switching providers but two, maybe trying to set ourselves up to not have to switch in the future and setting up ourselves to have a supportive provider from the beginning because she definitely had that and so much more.

I’m really, really excited to get into the story. I do have a Review of the Week. This review is– I don’t actually know how to say the name. Sidsie, maybe? It says, “Such an amazing resource for VBAC-hopeful mamas and others preparing for birth who haven’t had a previous Cesarean. Their podcast has amazing birth stories and their blog has amazing articles. They have a ton of resources to find doulas and providers and are excited and happy to help support VBAC mamas. I recommend their podcast to my doula clients and I listen to each episode as it comes out. Definitely check it out.”

I love that. This is a birth worker. Birth workers, we love you and we love your reviews. As you know, we do have a doula directory so if you are looking for a doula, these doulas are absolutely incredible. Go to thevbaclink.com and click on “Find a Doula”, search your area, and find out which doulas are close to you.

Also, if you haven’t had a chance, I’m requesting a specific place for reviews today. If you would not mind, head over to Google at “The VBAC Link” and click on it then leave a review. I would absolutely love it.

Meagan: Okay, Caitlin. I’m already so excited that I just am going to turn the time over to you but before I do, I have to say one thing.

Caitlin: I’m excited too. Do it.

Meagan: Happy birthday.

Caitlin: Thank you.

Meagan: It’s not your birthday the day you are recording, but we have determined it will be the day your episode comes out which we didn’t do on purpose. Happy birthday.

Caitlin: Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Meagan: You’re welcome. You are welcome. All right. Well go ahead and share your stories.

Caitlin: Okay, well I guess we should start with my first birth which was August 18, 2021. I was 34 weeks pregnant. I had lingering high blood pressure for about a week and it was elevating over time. My doctor was like, “Let’s look at the baby.” With that check, baby was showing signs of distress and it was pretty immediate and quick. We went in for an emergency C-section.

In the moment, I was so scared. It was my first child. I know what that meant. I didn’t really care what that meant for my future births. I didn’t really think of what that might mean for my future birthing experience. My main concern was that my current baby isn’t doing well and let’s do what we need to do to keep him and myself safe.

That’s how that went. I do want to say that my C-section was not traumatic. I didn’t have a terrible recovery. It really was all good. I just knew that moving forward for future births that I wanted to experience labor. I had never experienced labor. I wanted to have more children than just two so I knew moving forward from that the risks that come with it.

That’s how my first kiddo was born. It was an emergency C-section. He was healthy. He was in the NICU for a little bit but that’s just because he was so little at 34 weeks.

Meagan: You actually had a preterm. That was another thing I forgot I wrote down. You had a preterm Cesarean.

Caitlin: I did. Yes. It was very quick. We were at my doctor’s appointment at 10:00 and got to the hospital and baby was born within an hour or two. It was a quick turnaround. It was a very high stress situation but it all worked out okay. Now my 3-year-old is wonderful. I’m grateful for how that all worked out and I’m glad that he was safe and that I was safe.

That was my first birth. For my second, I knew that I wanted to try for a VBAC. I did extensive research and when I say extensive research, I mean I went crazy a little bit. No. there’s never too much research. I did obtain all of the information I could find. I was listening to podcasts 24/7. I looked at studies and articles and the actual science behind it all. I just dove headfirst into it and I knew that this was what I wanted to try for.

I wasn’t scared of a repeat Cesarean. Again, I wasn’t like, I can’t do that again. I just knew this was the route I wanted to try to take. My due date for my second was August 19, 2023, so literally 2 years and a day after my first was born. I told my doctor at every single appointment even as early as it gets at the appointment where you hear the heartbeat and the appointment before they could even find the heartbeat, I was like, “I want a VBAC. I want a VBAC. I want a VBAC.”

He was extremely receptive. He said, “You’re a perfect candidate.” He was super receptive so I felt really good about it. I was thinking about this last night with my husband as I was running through all of the little details and I think my provider being so on board made me feel like I didn’t need to do the little additional prodding questions to make sure that it was going to work out.

It just seemed like every time I brought it up that it was a no-brainer. It was going to be VBAC fine. That’s kind of your caveat for later but I felt like it was all going to be great. My provider was on board and that’s the number-one checklist. But the thing I didn’t do was ask him specifics. I didn’t ask if I needed an induction, what does that look like? I didn’t ask him, how many successful VBACs have you done? What is your approach if x, y, and z happens?

I didn’t get details because it just seemed so positive the whole time.

Meagan: And that’s the hard thing. It can be so easy to be like, “Hey, I want a VBAC. Do you support that?” “Yeah. Cool, no problem. Yep. Of course, we do. No worries.” Or like you said where he was like, “Yes, I know you want a VBAC. Let’s move on,” instead of talking about that VBAC. I feel like that was maybe a little bit of a flag in ways.

Caitlin: Yes. I should have picked up on it because it got to the point where I would walk into an appointment and the first words were, “I know you want a VBAC. We’ve got that.” I’m like, “Okay, great. We’ve got it.” I think I was a little naive that that was him checking that off the appointment list maybe and being like, I don’t actually need to give this girl a VBAC when push comes to shove.

Meagan: Or tell her anything, yeah. I really encourage people to ask open-ended questions like you said like, “How many VBACs do you support? How do you feel about VBAC and what does it look like? For some reason if I have to be induced, do you induce them and what does it look like then?” and all of those types of things.

Caitlin: Definitely. Definitely. I started to feel all of this pressure because toward the end, we didn’t really talk about a plan. Then the language changed to, “We can’t really make a plan because we just have to wait and see if you’re going to go into labor.” So then I was like, “Oh dang, then I really need to go into labor.”

Then we got to 36-37 weeks and I’m getting more and more in my head, “What if I don’t go into labor? What happens next? We still don’t have a plan.” We started to do membrane sweeps. I got three membrane sweeps and I did them on the time period– I don’t remember what it was. I think if you do two within 48 hours or something like that, people say– I don’t know who people are. I was just a maniac with my research and they were like, “Maybe that will increase your chances of your body going into labor on its own.”

I did three membrane sweeps trying to get the ball rolling. I stayed at 1 the whole time. No changes. I was doing all of the things at home up to week 39. I was eating dates, curb walking, drinking raspberry leaf tea, bouncing on the ball. I was pumping colostrum. My baby is 9 months old and I still have colostrum in her freezer.

Meagan: Holy cow, girl.

Caitlin: I was doing everything begging my body to please do this for me. Please. There were no changes.

Meagan: It wasn’t listening. It wasn’t ready.

Caitlin: It wasn’t. I was also forgetting to consider the fact that my body with my first did not go into labor. This was my first real experience with childbirth and labor. Do you know what I mean? My C-section grew and changed me in so many ways and like I said, I don’t regret that at all, but in my head I kind of counted that like, my body should be going into labor, when in reality, my body wasn’t going to go into labor. At least not as early as I was trying to make it.

So moving on from that, I did all of the things. I kept doing the things. I felt frustrated doing the things because the things weren’t thinging and I couldn’t but I tried and all I kept doing was being positive. My blood pressure was fine my entire pregnancy so we got past that 34-week mark which with my first, my high blood pressure started at week 33 and we got past that point. I felt really good about it. There were no high readings then on August 4th, I was 38 weeks. It was a Friday.

I had felt kind of off during the day but I was also like, I’m 38 weeks pregnant. I’m probably going to feel off for the next however many weeks I’m pregnant. Then later that night, I noticed major swelling in my hands and my feet. I was like, this is something I am familiar with. I am not familiar with other things that are coming, but this is something that I am.

We didn’t have a blood pressure cuff so husband had me go to a CVS or Walgreens or something like that and take it in one of those machines and it was extremely high. I was apprehensive. I was like, I don’t want to rush right in. I called my on-call person and obviously their response was to go to the hospital. They can’t guide you through anything when it comes to high blood pressure over the phone.

I go to the hospital. I was planning on going there for my VBAC even though I’m 39 weeks now and still at a 1 but I’m like, It’s going to be fine. My doctor’s on board. The bummer with that was that it was a Friday night and it was probably closer to the middle of the night and early Saturday morning.

The nurse who had us at intake was actually– we recognized her and couldn’t figure it out then she was like, When did you have your last baby? It was the same nurse who helped us prep for the emergency delivery of my first son. She was super sweet and super comforting. It was nice to have somebody who had seen what we went through previously.

My blood pressure was still high at the hospital. They started some IV fluids and I was just resting. They checked on baby and he looked great. No issues with him which from my prior experience, that’s what changed everything for me was that he was fine.

So I kept asking throughout our time sitting and watching our blood pressure, I was like, “Baby is fine?” They were like, “He’s doing great.” That was super, super– and that was completely different from my first time around. Then finally, the doctor came in who was working for that night and the first words out of her mouth were, “We’ll do a C-section first thing in the morning. We’ll get you on the calendar.” I was like, “Oh, well my plans were to try for a VBAC,” and that was basically met with an eye roll.

She was like, “You can talk to the doctor who is in for your doctor this weekend because he’s not the doctor over the weekend. You can talk to her and see what she thinks.” I was like, “No, yeah. I’ll be happy to talk to her. Do you want me to call her right now? Because I’m not going to stay here. Don’t put me on the schedule for tomorrow morning.” She actually did. She called the doctor who was in for the weekend from my doctor’s practice and I mean, basically what I kept getting was, “Protocol is when you have high blood pressure this late in pregnancy, we just do a C-section.”

Then every time I asked, “Why?” I was like, “If my baby is fine, why do we do a C-section? If my baby is doing okay,” and my blood pressure at that point was getting lower. We were managing it. I think the fluids helped, elevating my legs, resting, and all of those things. My blood pressure was lowering and my baby was fine. I was like, “Why?” They didn’t really have an answer every time I asked that.

I got on the phone with the doctor who was in for my doctor over the weekend and the one who would be doing the C-section the following morning. I’m telling you. We were on the phone for– I had her on speakerphone so my husband could hear what she was saying and what I was saying. My husband knew I did all of this research but as I was debating with this doctor, I could see on his face that he was learning things. He was like, “Oh, that’s a good point. Oh, really? Okay. Okay. You’re not that crazy, Caitlin. I see it. You know?”

So I could see him learning through what I was saying to her about my why and why I wanted to do it this way. She was basically saying, “I can have a baby in your arms by lunch tomorrow. You could be walking around.” I was like, “That’s really not my goal. That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

Finally, I was like, “Hey, look. Based on what I have found, I know that a good induction method would be a balloon Foley. Can you come do that? I’m not going to say yes to a C-section tomorrow with my baby doing fine and my blood pressure dropping. It’s getting better.” She was like, “Okay.” She was like, “I can do it.” I was like, “Have you done it before?” She was like, “Yes I have. I will come in and do one tonight. We can see how you progress overnight and so on and so forth.”

They put us in our room and my blood pressure was looking good. They take monitors off of me. They don’t need to be watching baby anymore. All is good. We’re sitting in the room. We are waiting for the doctor to come to start the balloon.

Finally, I asked the nurse. I’m like, “Hey, is the doctor coming? She said she wanted to give me time to progress overnight so we could see how we were doing in the morning.” I’m aware of the fact that this could take a long time. I told the doctor that. I said, “I’m very patient. I’m not trying to rush this.” She’s like, “I’ll go check on the doctor and see where she’s at.” She comes back in the room and said the doctor was asleep at home. The doctor said she was going to come do the balloon Foley first thing in the morning. I was like, “That’s not what we talked about on the phone. The doctor told me she was going to come do it tonight so we could progress overnight and all that stuff.”

Me and my husband are sitting in this room. Our kid is at home, our other child and they are not even checking me anymore. They’re not monitoring anything. My blood pressure is good. The baby is healthy. I’m like, “Why is there no urgency?” If this was something that needed to be done, why are we not doing anything? I guess that was my concern. As I’m verbally processing this with my husband, the nurse was extremely professional but I felt a vibe.

I asked my husband, “Did you feel the same thing when she was affirming what we were discussing verbally?” Just between him and I but I felt like she was like, “Yes. You’re not wrong.” The second I said to my husband, “I think we should leave. I feel like this isn’t right,” the nurse was like, “I can get you those papers whenever you want them.”

She went and I was like, “I think I want them. I don’t know. I’m a rule follower. I don’t want to risk anything.” My husband was like, “Caitlin, I don’t know. I don’t know if this is safe,” but I just felt like if there was no urgency to get things moving now, then what’s the urgency in waiting until Monday when I could talk to my provider who had encouraged me and said that the VBAC was possible the whole time?

So we left against medical advice. It was very intimidating for somebody who was a rule follower. We felt like we were going to be dogs with our tails tucked between our legs walking out of the hospital with our bags on our shoulders. I was like, “Oh my gosh, those nurses are going to watch us and think we are causing harm to our baby.” But as we were walking out, it was the coolest thing ever. All of the nurses, I think they could tell that I was a little bit insecure about my decision or just not sure, but they were giving me thumbs-ups and silent, “You’ve got this” clapping. I was like, Oh my gosh, okay. This wasn’t a dumb call.

One nurse stood up and said to me as we were about to leave the door, “Thank you so much for advocating for your own health and standing firm in the decisions that you want to make for your birth.” It was so affirming for me.

Meagan: I seriously have chills and goosebumps right now just hearing you say that and her saying that to you and you being able to leave feeling that especially when you felt like it was right, but then the way the world makes us feel about going against medical advice, you had that, Oh, I don’t know if I should be doing this feeling as you were walking out. To have that advocacy as you were walking out I’m sure put so much power in your pocket.

Caitlin: Totally. Totally, totally. That nurse was life-changing for me and I just felt okay going into the next day waiting to see my doctor whom I thought was going to be on my team with all of this stuff that I had been sticking up for.

I get to my doctor on Monday. I rested for the weekend. There was nothing crazy. We just relaxed. I got a blood pressure cuff to monitor. It wasn’t good. It was elevated but it never got to that zone where it was on Friday night when I went in. I went to my doctor on Monday. My blood pressure was elevated but not very high. He said, “Let’s have you just lay low. Let’s check you again on Thursday morning.” I went in Thursday morning and it had gotten higher again.

He was like, “I’m not comfortable playing this game with your past and how your baby was the first time around.” He was like, “Let’s not do that. Let’s not push it to that point again and see.” I agreed with him in that. I was like, “Yeah, no. We’re now playing Russian Roulette of it’s high. It’s not as high. It’s high. It’s not as high.” I was like, “Okay, great. What are we going to do to get the VBAC going? How do you usually approach this?”

He completely froze. He was like, “Wait, no. I think we’re going to do a C-section.” I was like, “What?” I was shocked and so confused and still only at 1 centimeter. I was like, “What are we talking about here? This is not what I said to you at every appointment.” My husband knew. He saw it all over my face. I was like, “Where is this coming from?” My doctor said, “I’ll let you guys talk about it.” He left the room for a minute. When he left, my husband was like, “Caitlin, we have to trust our doctor.” I was like, “I do trust the doctor, but I trust what I know more,” then he was like, “You’re not a doctor.” I was like, “No, I know but I’ve heard enough where these stories come into play.” All of the stories that I heard of people who had been successful with this, that’s where it all comes into play and that’s why I’m so passionate about sharing this because that’s what made me be like, No. I know it can work and I’ve heard of it working.

I went on. I think my doctor came in and he thought that he was going to come into a room and us be like, “Okay, yeah. We have to do what we have to do,” and no. Instead, I was like, “I would like to give myself all chances for a vaginal birth.” Now again, I said this before. “I am not scared of a C-section. I had a great experience. I recovered really well but I want to give myself a shot at this.”

A question I should have asked way previously was about the balloon Foley thing but here I am, he was still positive the whole time that I just assumed that surely, if push came to shove, we would know what we were going to do. He told me that he had ever only done one and he doesn’t really know or feel comfortable doing another. He said that I might not be dilated to get one in.

Meagan: Okay.

Caitlin: I was like, “Okay. Well, typically that’s how you approach inducing a VBAC.”

Meagan: Yeah.

Caitlin: I was like, “Okay.” I told my husband, “I don’t know what either of you want me to say. I would like to do a balloon Foley.” My doctor was like, “I don’t feel comfortable.”

Meagan: Did he say why? What about it didn’t make him feel comfortable?

Caitlin: He said he had only ever really done one.

Meagan: That’s why.

Caitlin: I was like, “I’ll be your second.”

Meagan: Yeah. Yeah.

Caitlin: Then it was more so the approach of, “I don’t think one would fit.” That might be true. I don’t really even know. I was at a 1 so I don’t know but–

Meagan: Usually if you’re at a 1, and even people without an open cervix like even at half a centimeter, they can get it in. It’s usually a little less pleasant, but typically a Foley will go in. Sometimes the cervix is still posterior which is also a sign that our baby is not ready to come, but if so, it can go out and around. One in his whole career? He’s only placed one? That seems kind of crazy to me.

Caitlin: That’s what he told me. That’s what he told me. I’m like, “Okay. Here’s what I need you to do. Phone a friend or I will.” The power of Google, I started to Google local doctors in the area who were VBAC-friendly who were at the same hospital I had already been registered at and all of those things. He looked at me like I was absolutely insane. My husband did a little bit too, but I was like, “No. Find somebody then. If you won’t do it, find somebody who will.”

It was very awkward because when he did find a doctor who would do it for me, that was great. I was in the room or whatever and they were– he wasn’t at the hospital when I got the balloon Foley, but the doctor who would, before I left my actual doctor’s office, all of those nurses were very not on board with the call that I was making so that’s an awkward feeling to be like, Okay. Everybody in this room thinks that I’m doing something wrong.

It felt really good to leave. It felt good to go get to the hospital with a new set of nurses and a different doctor doing it. All went well. She placed it just fine. I’m so grateful that she was willing to just pop in for a patient that wasn’t even her own.

We got to the hospital around 12:15 and I had a male nurse. He was awesome. I was at a 1.5 when I got there so more than a 1. The doctor who did the Foley for me was great. When she got it in, she said she might have broken my water. She wasn’t sure. She couldn’t tell. It was pretty tight. It wasn’t comfortable but I wouldn’t describe it as painful.

They started low-dose Pitocin and we hung out basically. I waited on that Foley to do its job and yeah. From noon until 6:00 PM, I was dilating. Things were happening and I think I got the epidural and it fell out right about the same time. I got the epidural right before it fell out. My contractions were picking up and coming really fast which was interesting because I just didn’t expect it to happen that quickly. Everybody told me, the doctor on the phone, everybody told me, “It’s going to take forever. Forever. You’re not going to dilate. It’s going to take forever.”

It really wasn’t taking forever because I had been there from noon to 6:00 and things were happening. The nurse I had was wonderful, wonderful. He was super helpful. He was super team VBAC. You’ve got this. When it came time for my shift change, I was so bummed. He was like, “I’ll get a good one for you. I’ll get a good one for you.” When the nurse came into the room, she was so excited it was me. It was the nurse who stood up and told me, “Thank you for advocating for yourself and how you want to bring your baby into the world.” She was just amazing and she was so excited it was me. I was so excited it was her and that was just a huge full-circle moment.

She was like, “You’re doing it. You’ve got it.” I was like, “Girl, you have no idea.” Once the balloon fell out, we spent the night repositioning just to keep things moving along. At midnight, the doctor came in to check and see, “Okay, did your water break when I put the balloon in or did it not?” It turned out that my water was already broken, but she also said there was pooling of a lot of blood. I was losing a lot of blood. She was very confused by that. She did a rushed ultrasound in fear of placental abruption and she did prepare us that if that was the case, I would be going back for an immediate C-section. My husband thinks it’s funny. He made a joke, “Well that would have made all of this worth the time.” I was like, “It’s not time for that but whatever.” That would have been a bummer if that was the case but there was a lot of bleeding so I knew that if it was placental abruption that we would go back for a C-section and all would be fine.

That’s the biggest thing that I want to say is that it would have been okay. It wouldn’t have been earth-shattering to me. But the placenta looked good. I was like, “Praise be. Let’s keep trucking along.” She was going to monitor the bleeding. She wasn’t sure where it was coming from. We’ll just wait on my body to do its thing. I’m just so grateful that this random doctor, I’d never met her. I never had met this woman but she made me feel that I was the one making the decisions about my body and my baby because that isn’t how I had felt by the other three doctors who I had talked to in the process of this up to that point.

Meagan: Yeah, which is sad. Three out of four providers made you feel like that versus uplifting, being part of your birth, making choices for yourself and your baby.

Caitlin: Totally. Totally. I felt like maybe everybody who was looking at me thought I was maybe a pushover or just didn’t know what I was talking about so when I pushed back on things, people backed off and were like, “Oh gosh, we don’t want to deal with that girl.” Nobody wants to be that girl but everything continued to go great. We did lots of new positions and dilating was happening fairly quickly.

I got to 9. In the morning, that same male nurse requested me again. I loved that. My nurses changed my life. They were amazing and the nurses were my cheer squad. They were amazing. They made me feel like things were going great.

Meagan: They were doulas. They were acting as doulas in here. They were requesting you which is awesome and very rare. That’s very rare.

Caitlin: Yes. They were phenomenal and every time one of the familiar ones came in, I was like, “We’re good. I’m good. I trust you with my life.” They were amazing. That was encouraging for me because having a doula wasn’t really in our budget unfortunately, but I did need somebody else because my husband is very like, “Yeah, Cait. Whatever you feel passionate about you needing to do,” and he was totally on board, but it was nice to have somebody with a medical background saying, “No, you are doing the right things. Here’s how we can progress you forward. Here’s what we should do next.” I had never had a vaginal birth.

He came back. He requested me. He was my nurse again. Then at 10:00 AM, my contractions became so intense and so on top of each other. I think it was worse that this happened after. I wish I had either never gotten the epidural and built up to that. The taste of having the pain relief and then it going away was not fun at all. It would have been better to just never have had the pain relief at that point. I was at 9 and they called the anesthesiologist. They did a flush of medication to offer some relief. That didn’t change anything.

So 2 hours later, they came back and he checked. He was like, “Oh, your epidural became dislodged.” I wasn’t getting any of the medication that I was getting previously. So unfortunately, at 9 centimeters, you’re in full-blown labor labor and they didn’t realize for 2 hours what the problem was. Finally, it took my husband saying to somebody, “I don’t think she is just feeling intense feelings. I think she is feeling the actual contraction,” which also was discouraging for me because that 2-hour span of no changes was the longest span I had gone with no progression in the entire experience.

I was getting nervous about that. I was like, Not only am I in immense, excruciating pain, but why am I not dilating to a 10? Why am I not a 10? What’s going on here?

The anesthesiologist said to me, “Hey, you’re at a 9. You can wait it out and when it’s time to push, just push. You don’t need the epidural to be working.” I was like, “I could do that, but I also got an epidural for the pain relief.” I was like, “No. I want the relief and I also want to be able to relax and see if that gets me to a 10.” They did place a second epidural. It helped. It took a while. It was basically the whole process restarting.

My doctor told me, “Hey, since you were just up for 2 hours with contractions on top of each other, how about you try to rest? I’ll check on how you guys are doing in a little bit.” He popped in a few minutes later and asked to check me. I was like, “Yes.” He lifted up the covers and my baby’s hair was there in 30 minutes.

Meagan: What? You were crowning?

Caitlin: Yes!

Meagan: Oh my gosh.

Caitlin: I went from 2 hours at a 9. They gave me the second epidural and then within 30 minutes, they went to check and they didn’t have to check anything because the baby was there. It’s funny because we had just reset the room to be dark, comfortable, rest, and it was like, “Nope. Open the blinds. Get ready to go.” It was a crazy turnaround. My husband and I didn’t believe it when he said it. We were like, “Hair? Already? We just sat here for 2 hours at a 9.”

I never even got measured. Do they measure at a 10?

Meagan: I mean, they can go in and be like, “You’re complete.” Yeah.

Caitlin: Right. Right. It went very fast. I was shocked by that. I pushed for 15 minutes and baby was born. It was smooth sailing from then on out. It was 24 hours total. Everybody’s biggest threat to me was, “It’s going to take forever. You’re going to be there forever. You’re going to be doing this forever.” It was 24 hours from start to finish. Baby being born. Baby being healthy. Me getting the VBAC. Me getting the golden hour because with my first, he was straight to the NICU. I didn’t get to hold him or anything and I really wanted that. It was super redemptive for me and just super special that my husband and I were in the same room after the baby was born because he went to the NICU with our first.

Having the VBAC made me so proud and confident in myself and any future births that I’m blessed with. Now I know. I’m an advocate and other moms can put their foot down for themselves. You have control of what happens to you as you bring a baby into this world. I don’t think I knew that before being in the thick of it that I actually did get to make the calls.

Meagan: Yes.

Caitlin: Yeah. All of these medical things that came up like the high blood pressure and how easy I could have been like, “Okay yeah, whatever you say,” but just because of things that come up in pregnancy, it doesn’t mean that you need to get straight to a surgery room.

Meagan: I mean look at that. Your blood pressure did go back up to that high range and you didn’t just go in and have a C-section. You had a slowly induced VBAC. Did your original male provider ever come back to the scene? Did that provider catch baby?

Caitlin: He is the one who when I was stuck at the 9, he was in at that time.

Meagan: Okay.

Caitlin: He was there from being at 9 centimeters and he is the one who delivered my son. The other doctor came in to check on us after which was super sweet. She was incredible. But yes, he did come back for all of that. There was a sense of me being like, “Huh. This all worked out.”

Meagan: Look at that.

Caitlin: It all worked out. Would you look at that? It was interesting because he was very much like, “I knew you were determined.” I was like, “Okay, yeah. I was but you were trying to make me not be.”

Meagan: Yeah.

Caitlin: I don’t know. I do believe that he did incredible with my first birth and especially with a first-time mom with that scary of a situation happening. I just think that sometimes it’s what’s more comfortable. It makes me sad because if that was my first baby, I literally would have not ended up in the situation I was in. I just wonder how many moms get put in these positions and then have to make– don’t get to make the call because they don’t know they can make the call. They don’t know they are the ones who get to make the choice.

Meagan: Yeah, exactly. It goes back to the review where it says that this podcast is for people who have had a previous Cesarean but also for people who haven’t had a previous Cesarean and who haven’t had these experiences and who may not have that full education yet.

Caitlin: Right.

Meagan: I think this podcast is so great for people who want to learn what happens out there and what could happen and what your options are and how people advocate for themselves. I’m so grateful for the nursing staff.

Caitlin: Oh my gosh. They were so amazing. When we got moved to the other room after the baby was born, the nurse who was there when I signed my AMAs and stuff, the one who did all that with us, she came into the room and was clapping. She was like, “You did it!” Everybody was so on our team which was truly incredible. That meant everything for us.

Meagan: Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, go ahead.

Caitlin: Another thing just for new moms too who haven’t gone through it, the recovery is different. C-section moms are absolute heroes. They are tough as nails but also, the doctors were telling me, “You’re so young and you’ll bounce back so fast from a second section. It’s not that bad. You healed great the first time.” That’s all true. But the recovery was different because I didn’t have a major abdominal surgery.

Meagan: Yeah. Yes. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for sharing your stories. Thank you for advocating for yourself and being an example to others on how to advocate for themselves. We know with preeclampsia that it really can be an overnight serious thing but it doesn’t always mean that you have to just go and have a C-section. There are so many times where I see births where we have preeclampsia with really high blood pressures and proteins and all of the things. We go in for an induction and then it’s managed. The blood pressure is managed throughout the entire rest of the pregnancy so I don’t know. There’s that. I just want to say there is that.

Caitlin: There is.

Meagan: A lot of times, providers say, “Oh, your blood pressure is so high. Labor would be far too stressful,” but there are so many ways to help manage the blood pressure. We do know that sometimes there are medically emergent reasons to go in and have a C-section but it doesn’t always mean you have to. We have a preeclampsia blog. We are going to drop it in the show notes so if you want to learn more about preeclampsia and the risk factors and how to prevent it because there are ways that we can try to prevent them– getting our omega 3’s, calcium, choline, getting a good salt intake, getting really, really great rich foods, proteins, fruits, vegetables. The Brewer’s Diet is another amazing thing to check out. They have a whole preeclampsia section.

Definitely check these things out. If you also have had preeclampsia before like Caitlin, the risks of having it again are slightly higher just because we’ve had it and things like that so if you’ve had it before, definitely check this out even before getting pregnant. I think there is a lot of preparing to do before we get pregnant. Sometimes it happens no matter what efforts you’ve had. Maybe you’ve done all of the things. Sometimes it just happens and it’s out of our control.

Like Caitlin was just talking to me about this before, she doesn’t struggle with high blood pressure. It just comes during pregnancy.

Caitlin: Mhmm. Yeah. My hope is that in future pregnancies that I wouldn’t have high blood pressure again, but if I do, I just feel more equipped and more confident in how I want to manage that.

Meagan: Exactly.

Caitlin: Yeah. It’s hard because when you are being told things by medical providers who do know what they are saying in regard to some extent and you want to continue to be like, “I’m going to do what’s safest throughout my baby,” but my favorite question throughout my whole experience was, “If my baby is okay, if my blood pressure is lowering, then why are we making the decisions that we are making?” That’s the pillar that my husband and I lived on in those disagreement conversations.

Meagan: I wanted to point out before we go just piggybacking off of that that it is okay to ask questions. You can say, “Okay, but why?” or “What is the evidence on that?” or “What are the medical reasons you are suggesting for this or that?” You can ask questions, Women of Strength. That is advocating for yourself. Ask the questions so that you can make the final decision.

Caitlin: If they don’t have an answer, it’s probably because there isn’t an answer.

Meagan: Right? And/or if there is some gaslighting happening, that probably means there is also not an answer but they are trying to create an answer and make you feel scared or like you would be stupid to make that choice.

Caitlin: Mhmm. Mhmm.

I really wish all nurses were like the ones we had. We had awesome nurses.

Meagan: They sound incredible, absolutely incredible.

Caitlin: They were.

Meagan: Shoutout to them. Happy birthday again. Congratulations.

Caitlin: Thank you so much. Thank you.

Meagan: We will talk to you later.

Caitlin: Thank you.

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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Joining us from Texas today is Caitlin and it is her birthday!

Caitlin’s first baby was born at 34 weeks via an emergency C-section due to elevated blood pressure and fetal distress. Though she was scared, it was not a traumatic experience and her recovery went well. She just knew that moving forward for future births, she wanted to experience labor and she wanted something different.

Caitlin talks about the importance of knowing not just your provider’s general stance on VBAC, but their specific policies surrounding it.

At 39 weeks, she went to the hospital with preeclamptic symptoms. Still counting on her provider to support her VBAC, Caitlin started to face things she wasn’t comfortable with. Her symptoms were under control, but she could tell that her baby wasn’t yet ready to come. She knew she needed to sign an AMA and go home.

When the time came, Caitlin was able to advocate for the birth she wanted, declined the interventions she knew she didn’t truly need, and leaned on those who felt safe in her space.

“Having the VBAC made me so proud and confident in myself and any future births that I’m blessed with.”

Happy Birthday, Caitlin!!

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details

Meagan: Hello, hello Women of Strength. You guys, I am so excited for today’s episode. We have our friend, Caitlin, from– are you from Texas? Where are you from?

Caitlin: I’m from Texas, yes.

Meagan: Texas. Yes. I wanted to say that then I started questioning myself. She is from Texas and we just went over a quick rough draft of all the things that happened in her birth and there are so many points I feel like to her birth. One, she’s a VBAC. She had preeclampsia with her first and her second. This is her second baby during her VBAC and with her first, she signed an AMA so we are going to talk about that and what that looks like. We’re going to talk more about preeclampsia. We’re going to talk about switching providers. One, switching providers but two, maybe trying to set ourselves up to not have to switch in the future and setting up ourselves to have a supportive provider from the beginning because she definitely had that and so much more.

I’m really, really excited to get into the story. I do have a Review of the Week. This review is– I don’t actually know how to say the name. Sidsie, maybe? It says, “Such an amazing resource for VBAC-hopeful mamas and others preparing for birth who haven’t had a previous Cesarean. Their podcast has amazing birth stories and their blog has amazing articles. They have a ton of resources to find doulas and providers and are excited and happy to help support VBAC mamas. I recommend their podcast to my doula clients and I listen to each episode as it comes out. Definitely check it out.”

I love that. This is a birth worker. Birth workers, we love you and we love your reviews. As you know, we do have a doula directory so if you are looking for a doula, these doulas are absolutely incredible. Go to thevbaclink.com and click on “Find a Doula”, search your area, and find out which doulas are close to you.

Also, if you haven’t had a chance, I’m requesting a specific place for reviews today. If you would not mind, head over to Google at “The VBAC Link” and click on it then leave a review. I would absolutely love it.

Meagan: Okay, Caitlin. I’m already so excited that I just am going to turn the time over to you but before I do, I have to say one thing.

Caitlin: I’m excited too. Do it.

Meagan: Happy birthday.

Caitlin: Thank you.

Meagan: It’s not your birthday the day you are recording, but we have determined it will be the day your episode comes out which we didn’t do on purpose. Happy birthday.

Caitlin: Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Meagan: You’re welcome. You are welcome. All right. Well go ahead and share your stories.

Caitlin: Okay, well I guess we should start with my first birth which was August 18, 2021. I was 34 weeks pregnant. I had lingering high blood pressure for about a week and it was elevating over time. My doctor was like, “Let’s look at the baby.” With that check, baby was showing signs of distress and it was pretty immediate and quick. We went in for an emergency C-section.

In the moment, I was so scared. It was my first child. I know what that meant. I didn’t really care what that meant for my future births. I didn’t really think of what that might mean for my future birthing experience. My main concern was that my current baby isn’t doing well and let’s do what we need to do to keep him and myself safe.

That’s how that went. I do want to say that my C-section was not traumatic. I didn’t have a terrible recovery. It really was all good. I just knew that moving forward for future births that I wanted to experience labor. I had never experienced labor. I wanted to have more children than just two so I knew moving forward from that the risks that come with it.

That’s how my first kiddo was born. It was an emergency C-section. He was healthy. He was in the NICU for a little bit but that’s just because he was so little at 34 weeks.

Meagan: You actually had a preterm. That was another thing I forgot I wrote down. You had a preterm Cesarean.

Caitlin: I did. Yes. It was very quick. We were at my doctor’s appointment at 10:00 and got to the hospital and baby was born within an hour or two. It was a quick turnaround. It was a very high stress situation but it all worked out okay. Now my 3-year-old is wonderful. I’m grateful for how that all worked out and I’m glad that he was safe and that I was safe.

That was my first birth. For my second, I knew that I wanted to try for a VBAC. I did extensive research and when I say extensive research, I mean I went crazy a little bit. No. there’s never too much research. I did obtain all of the information I could find. I was listening to podcasts 24/7. I looked at studies and articles and the actual science behind it all. I just dove headfirst into it and I knew that this was what I wanted to try for.

I wasn’t scared of a repeat Cesarean. Again, I wasn’t like, I can’t do that again. I just knew this was the route I wanted to try to take. My due date for my second was August 19, 2023, so literally 2 years and a day after my first was born. I told my doctor at every single appointment even as early as it gets at the appointment where you hear the heartbeat and the appointment before they could even find the heartbeat, I was like, “I want a VBAC. I want a VBAC. I want a VBAC.”

He was extremely receptive. He said, “You’re a perfect candidate.” He was super receptive so I felt really good about it. I was thinking about this last night with my husband as I was running through all of the little details and I think my provider being so on board made me feel like I didn’t need to do the little additional prodding questions to make sure that it was going to work out.

It just seemed like every time I brought it up that it was a no-brainer. It was going to be VBAC fine. That’s kind of your caveat for later but I felt like it was all going to be great. My provider was on board and that’s the number-one checklist. But the thing I didn’t do was ask him specifics. I didn’t ask if I needed an induction, what does that look like? I didn’t ask him, how many successful VBACs have you done? What is your approach if x, y, and z happens?

I didn’t get details because it just seemed so positive the whole time.

Meagan: And that’s the hard thing. It can be so easy to be like, “Hey, I want a VBAC. Do you support that?” “Yeah. Cool, no problem. Yep. Of course, we do. No worries.” Or like you said where he was like, “Yes, I know you want a VBAC. Let’s move on,” instead of talking about that VBAC. I feel like that was maybe a little bit of a flag in ways.

Caitlin: Yes. I should have picked up on it because it got to the point where I would walk into an appointment and the first words were, “I know you want a VBAC. We’ve got that.” I’m like, “Okay, great. We’ve got it.” I think I was a little naive that that was him checking that off the appointment list maybe and being like, I don’t actually need to give this girl a VBAC when push comes to shove.

Meagan: Or tell her anything, yeah. I really encourage people to ask open-ended questions like you said like, “How many VBACs do you support? How do you feel about VBAC and what does it look like? For some reason if I have to be induced, do you induce them and what does it look like then?” and all of those types of things.

Caitlin: Definitely. Definitely. I started to feel all of this pressure because toward the end, we didn’t really talk about a plan. Then the language changed to, “We can’t really make a plan because we just have to wait and see if you’re going to go into labor.” So then I was like, “Oh dang, then I really need to go into labor.”

Then we got to 36-37 weeks and I’m getting more and more in my head, “What if I don’t go into labor? What happens next? We still don’t have a plan.” We started to do membrane sweeps. I got three membrane sweeps and I did them on the time period– I don’t remember what it was. I think if you do two within 48 hours or something like that, people say– I don’t know who people are. I was just a maniac with my research and they were like, “Maybe that will increase your chances of your body going into labor on its own.”

I did three membrane sweeps trying to get the ball rolling. I stayed at 1 the whole time. No changes. I was doing all of the things at home up to week 39. I was eating dates, curb walking, drinking raspberry leaf tea, bouncing on the ball. I was pumping colostrum. My baby is 9 months old and I still have colostrum in her freezer.

Meagan: Holy cow, girl.

Caitlin: I was doing everything begging my body to please do this for me. Please. There were no changes.

Meagan: It wasn’t listening. It wasn’t ready.

Caitlin: It wasn’t. I was also forgetting to consider the fact that my body with my first did not go into labor. This was my first real experience with childbirth and labor. Do you know what I mean? My C-section grew and changed me in so many ways and like I said, I don’t regret that at all, but in my head I kind of counted that like, my body should be going into labor, when in reality, my body wasn’t going to go into labor. At least not as early as I was trying to make it.

So moving on from that, I did all of the things. I kept doing the things. I felt frustrated doing the things because the things weren’t thinging and I couldn’t but I tried and all I kept doing was being positive. My blood pressure was fine my entire pregnancy so we got past that 34-week mark which with my first, my high blood pressure started at week 33 and we got past that point. I felt really good about it. There were no high readings then on August 4th, I was 38 weeks. It was a Friday.

I had felt kind of off during the day but I was also like, I’m 38 weeks pregnant. I’m probably going to feel off for the next however many weeks I’m pregnant. Then later that night, I noticed major swelling in my hands and my feet. I was like, this is something I am familiar with. I am not familiar with other things that are coming, but this is something that I am.

We didn’t have a blood pressure cuff so husband had me go to a CVS or Walgreens or something like that and take it in one of those machines and it was extremely high. I was apprehensive. I was like, I don’t want to rush right in. I called my on-call person and obviously their response was to go to the hospital. They can’t guide you through anything when it comes to high blood pressure over the phone.

I go to the hospital. I was planning on going there for my VBAC even though I’m 39 weeks now and still at a 1 but I’m like, It’s going to be fine. My doctor’s on board. The bummer with that was that it was a Friday night and it was probably closer to the middle of the night and early Saturday morning.

The nurse who had us at intake was actually– we recognized her and couldn’t figure it out then she was like, When did you have your last baby? It was the same nurse who helped us prep for the emergency delivery of my first son. She was super sweet and super comforting. It was nice to have somebody who had seen what we went through previously.

My blood pressure was still high at the hospital. They started some IV fluids and I was just resting. They checked on baby and he looked great. No issues with him which from my prior experience, that’s what changed everything for me was that he was fine.

So I kept asking throughout our time sitting and watching our blood pressure, I was like, “Baby is fine?” They were like, “He’s doing great.” That was super, super– and that was completely different from my first time around. Then finally, the doctor came in who was working for that night and the first words out of her mouth were, “We’ll do a C-section first thing in the morning. We’ll get you on the calendar.” I was like, “Oh, well my plans were to try for a VBAC,” and that was basically met with an eye roll.

She was like, “You can talk to the doctor who is in for your doctor this weekend because he’s not the doctor over the weekend. You can talk to her and see what she thinks.” I was like, “No, yeah. I’ll be happy to talk to her. Do you want me to call her right now? Because I’m not going to stay here. Don’t put me on the schedule for tomorrow morning.” She actually did. She called the doctor who was in for the weekend from my doctor’s practice and I mean, basically what I kept getting was, “Protocol is when you have high blood pressure this late in pregnancy, we just do a C-section.”

Then every time I asked, “Why?” I was like, “If my baby is fine, why do we do a C-section? If my baby is doing okay,” and my blood pressure at that point was getting lower. We were managing it. I think the fluids helped, elevating my legs, resting, and all of those things. My blood pressure was lowering and my baby was fine. I was like, “Why?” They didn’t really have an answer every time I asked that.

I got on the phone with the doctor who was in for my doctor over the weekend and the one who would be doing the C-section the following morning. I’m telling you. We were on the phone for– I had her on speakerphone so my husband could hear what she was saying and what I was saying. My husband knew I did all of this research but as I was debating with this doctor, I could see on his face that he was learning things. He was like, “Oh, that’s a good point. Oh, really? Okay. Okay. You’re not that crazy, Caitlin. I see it. You know?”

So I could see him learning through what I was saying to her about my why and why I wanted to do it this way. She was basically saying, “I can have a baby in your arms by lunch tomorrow. You could be walking around.” I was like, “That’s really not my goal. That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

Finally, I was like, “Hey, look. Based on what I have found, I know that a good induction method would be a balloon Foley. Can you come do that? I’m not going to say yes to a C-section tomorrow with my baby doing fine and my blood pressure dropping. It’s getting better.” She was like, “Okay.” She was like, “I can do it.” I was like, “Have you done it before?” She was like, “Yes I have. I will come in and do one tonight. We can see how you progress overnight and so on and so forth.”

They put us in our room and my blood pressure was looking good. They take monitors off of me. They don’t need to be watching baby anymore. All is good. We’re sitting in the room. We are waiting for the doctor to come to start the balloon.

Finally, I asked the nurse. I’m like, “Hey, is the doctor coming? She said she wanted to give me time to progress overnight so we could see how we were doing in the morning.” I’m aware of the fact that this could take a long time. I told the doctor that. I said, “I’m very patient. I’m not trying to rush this.” She’s like, “I’ll go check on the doctor and see where she’s at.” She comes back in the room and said the doctor was asleep at home. The doctor said she was going to come do the balloon Foley first thing in the morning. I was like, “That’s not what we talked about on the phone. The doctor told me she was going to come do it tonight so we could progress overnight and all that stuff.”

Me and my husband are sitting in this room. Our kid is at home, our other child and they are not even checking me anymore. They’re not monitoring anything. My blood pressure is good. The baby is healthy. I’m like, “Why is there no urgency?” If this was something that needed to be done, why are we not doing anything? I guess that was my concern. As I’m verbally processing this with my husband, the nurse was extremely professional but I felt a vibe.

I asked my husband, “Did you feel the same thing when she was affirming what we were discussing verbally?” Just between him and I but I felt like she was like, “Yes. You’re not wrong.” The second I said to my husband, “I think we should leave. I feel like this isn’t right,” the nurse was like, “I can get you those papers whenever you want them.”

She went and I was like, “I think I want them. I don’t know. I’m a rule follower. I don’t want to risk anything.” My husband was like, “Caitlin, I don’t know. I don’t know if this is safe,” but I just felt like if there was no urgency to get things moving now, then what’s the urgency in waiting until Monday when I could talk to my provider who had encouraged me and said that the VBAC was possible the whole time?

So we left against medical advice. It was very intimidating for somebody who was a rule follower. We felt like we were going to be dogs with our tails tucked between our legs walking out of the hospital with our bags on our shoulders. I was like, “Oh my gosh, those nurses are going to watch us and think we are causing harm to our baby.” But as we were walking out, it was the coolest thing ever. All of the nurses, I think they could tell that I was a little bit insecure about my decision or just not sure, but they were giving me thumbs-ups and silent, “You’ve got this” clapping. I was like, Oh my gosh, okay. This wasn’t a dumb call.

One nurse stood up and said to me as we were about to leave the door, “Thank you so much for advocating for your own health and standing firm in the decisions that you want to make for your birth.” It was so affirming for me.

Meagan: I seriously have chills and goosebumps right now just hearing you say that and her saying that to you and you being able to leave feeling that especially when you felt like it was right, but then the way the world makes us feel about going against medical advice, you had that, Oh, I don’t know if I should be doing this feeling as you were walking out. To have that advocacy as you were walking out I’m sure put so much power in your pocket.

Caitlin: Totally. Totally, totally. That nurse was life-changing for me and I just felt okay going into the next day waiting to see my doctor whom I thought was going to be on my team with all of this stuff that I had been sticking up for.

I get to my doctor on Monday. I rested for the weekend. There was nothing crazy. We just relaxed. I got a blood pressure cuff to monitor. It wasn’t good. It was elevated but it never got to that zone where it was on Friday night when I went in. I went to my doctor on Monday. My blood pressure was elevated but not very high. He said, “Let’s have you just lay low. Let’s check you again on Thursday morning.” I went in Thursday morning and it had gotten higher again.

He was like, “I’m not comfortable playing this game with your past and how your baby was the first time around.” He was like, “Let’s not do that. Let’s not push it to that point again and see.” I agreed with him in that. I was like, “Yeah, no. We’re now playing Russian Roulette of it’s high. It’s not as high. It’s high. It’s not as high.” I was like, “Okay, great. What are we going to do to get the VBAC going? How do you usually approach this?”

He completely froze. He was like, “Wait, no. I think we’re going to do a C-section.” I was like, “What?” I was shocked and so confused and still only at 1 centimeter. I was like, “What are we talking about here? This is not what I said to you at every appointment.” My husband knew. He saw it all over my face. I was like, “Where is this coming from?” My doctor said, “I’ll let you guys talk about it.” He left the room for a minute. When he left, my husband was like, “Caitlin, we have to trust our doctor.” I was like, “I do trust the doctor, but I trust what I know more,” then he was like, “You’re not a doctor.” I was like, “No, I know but I’ve heard enough where these stories come into play.” All of the stories that I heard of people who had been successful with this, that’s where it all comes into play and that’s why I’m so passionate about sharing this because that’s what made me be like, No. I know it can work and I’ve heard of it working.

I went on. I think my doctor came in and he thought that he was going to come into a room and us be like, “Okay, yeah. We have to do what we have to do,” and no. Instead, I was like, “I would like to give myself all chances for a vaginal birth.” Now again, I said this before. “I am not scared of a C-section. I had a great experience. I recovered really well but I want to give myself a shot at this.”

A question I should have asked way previously was about the balloon Foley thing but here I am, he was still positive the whole time that I just assumed that surely, if push came to shove, we would know what we were going to do. He told me that he had ever only done one and he doesn’t really know or feel comfortable doing another. He said that I might not be dilated to get one in.

Meagan: Okay.

Caitlin: I was like, “Okay. Well, typically that’s how you approach inducing a VBAC.”

Meagan: Yeah.

Caitlin: I was like, “Okay.” I told my husband, “I don’t know what either of you want me to say. I would like to do a balloon Foley.” My doctor was like, “I don’t feel comfortable.”

Meagan: Did he say why? What about it didn’t make him feel comfortable?

Caitlin: He said he had only ever really done one.

Meagan: That’s why.

Caitlin: I was like, “I’ll be your second.”

Meagan: Yeah. Yeah.

Caitlin: Then it was more so the approach of, “I don’t think one would fit.” That might be true. I don’t really even know. I was at a 1 so I don’t know but–

Meagan: Usually if you’re at a 1, and even people without an open cervix like even at half a centimeter, they can get it in. It’s usually a little less pleasant, but typically a Foley will go in. Sometimes the cervix is still posterior which is also a sign that our baby is not ready to come, but if so, it can go out and around. One in his whole career? He’s only placed one? That seems kind of crazy to me.

Caitlin: That’s what he told me. That’s what he told me. I’m like, “Okay. Here’s what I need you to do. Phone a friend or I will.” The power of Google, I started to Google local doctors in the area who were VBAC-friendly who were at the same hospital I had already been registered at and all of those things. He looked at me like I was absolutely insane. My husband did a little bit too, but I was like, “No. Find somebody then. If you won’t do it, find somebody who will.”

It was very awkward because when he did find a doctor who would do it for me, that was great. I was in the room or whatever and they were– he wasn’t at the hospital when I got the balloon Foley, but the doctor who would, before I left my actual doctor’s office, all of those nurses were very not on board with the call that I was making so that’s an awkward feeling to be like, Okay. Everybody in this room thinks that I’m doing something wrong.

It felt really good to leave. It felt good to go get to the hospital with a new set of nurses and a different doctor doing it. All went well. She placed it just fine. I’m so grateful that she was willing to just pop in for a patient that wasn’t even her own.

We got to the hospital around 12:15 and I had a male nurse. He was awesome. I was at a 1.5 when I got there so more than a 1. The doctor who did the Foley for me was great. When she got it in, she said she might have broken my water. She wasn’t sure. She couldn’t tell. It was pretty tight. It wasn’t comfortable but I wouldn’t describe it as painful.

They started low-dose Pitocin and we hung out basically. I waited on that Foley to do its job and yeah. From noon until 6:00 PM, I was dilating. Things were happening and I think I got the epidural and it fell out right about the same time. I got the epidural right before it fell out. My contractions were picking up and coming really fast which was interesting because I just didn’t expect it to happen that quickly. Everybody told me, the doctor on the phone, everybody told me, “It’s going to take forever. Forever. You’re not going to dilate. It’s going to take forever.”

It really wasn’t taking forever because I had been there from noon to 6:00 and things were happening. The nurse I had was wonderful, wonderful. He was super helpful. He was super team VBAC. You’ve got this. When it came time for my shift change, I was so bummed. He was like, “I’ll get a good one for you. I’ll get a good one for you.” When the nurse came into the room, she was so excited it was me. It was the nurse who stood up and told me, “Thank you for advocating for yourself and how you want to bring your baby into the world.” She was just amazing and she was so excited it was me. I was so excited it was her and that was just a huge full-circle moment.

She was like, “You’re doing it. You’ve got it.” I was like, “Girl, you have no idea.” Once the balloon fell out, we spent the night repositioning just to keep things moving along. At midnight, the doctor came in to check and see, “Okay, did your water break when I put the balloon in or did it not?” It turned out that my water was already broken, but she also said there was pooling of a lot of blood. I was losing a lot of blood. She was very confused by that. She did a rushed ultrasound in fear of placental abruption and she did prepare us that if that was the case, I would be going back for an immediate C-section. My husband thinks it’s funny. He made a joke, “Well that would have made all of this worth the time.” I was like, “It’s not time for that but whatever.” That would have been a bummer if that was the case but there was a lot of bleeding so I knew that if it was placental abruption that we would go back for a C-section and all would be fine.

That’s the biggest thing that I want to say is that it would have been okay. It wouldn’t have been earth-shattering to me. But the placenta looked good. I was like, “Praise be. Let’s keep trucking along.” She was going to monitor the bleeding. She wasn’t sure where it was coming from. We’ll just wait on my body to do its thing. I’m just so grateful that this random doctor, I’d never met her. I never had met this woman but she made me feel that I was the one making the decisions about my body and my baby because that isn’t how I had felt by the other three doctors who I had talked to in the process of this up to that point.

Meagan: Yeah, which is sad. Three out of four providers made you feel like that versus uplifting, being part of your birth, making choices for yourself and your baby.

Caitlin: Totally. Totally. I felt like maybe everybody who was looking at me thought I was maybe a pushover or just didn’t know what I was talking about so when I pushed back on things, people backed off and were like, “Oh gosh, we don’t want to deal with that girl.” Nobody wants to be that girl but everything continued to go great. We did lots of new positions and dilating was happening fairly quickly.

I got to 9. In the morning, that same male nurse requested me again. I loved that. My nurses changed my life. They were amazing and the nurses were my cheer squad. They were amazing. They made me feel like things were going great.

Meagan: They were doulas. They were acting as doulas in here. They were requesting you which is awesome and very rare. That’s very rare.

Caitlin: Yes. They were phenomenal and every time one of the familiar ones came in, I was like, “We’re good. I’m good. I trust you with my life.” They were amazing. That was encouraging for me because having a doula wasn’t really in our budget unfortunately, but I did need somebody else because my husband is very like, “Yeah, Cait. Whatever you feel passionate about you needing to do,” and he was totally on board, but it was nice to have somebody with a medical background saying, “No, you are doing the right things. Here’s how we can progress you forward. Here’s what we should do next.” I had never had a vaginal birth.

He came back. He requested me. He was my nurse again. Then at 10:00 AM, my contractions became so intense and so on top of each other. I think it was worse that this happened after. I wish I had either never gotten the epidural and built up to that. The taste of having the pain relief and then it going away was not fun at all. It would have been better to just never have had the pain relief at that point. I was at 9 and they called the anesthesiologist. They did a flush of medication to offer some relief. That didn’t change anything.

So 2 hours later, they came back and he checked. He was like, “Oh, your epidural became dislodged.” I wasn’t getting any of the medication that I was getting previously. So unfortunately, at 9 centimeters, you’re in full-blown labor labor and they didn’t realize for 2 hours what the problem was. Finally, it took my husband saying to somebody, “I don’t think she is just feeling intense feelings. I think she is feeling the actual contraction,” which also was discouraging for me because that 2-hour span of no changes was the longest span I had gone with no progression in the entire experience.

I was getting nervous about that. I was like, Not only am I in immense, excruciating pain, but why am I not dilating to a 10? Why am I not a 10? What’s going on here?

The anesthesiologist said to me, “Hey, you’re at a 9. You can wait it out and when it’s time to push, just push. You don’t need the epidural to be working.” I was like, “I could do that, but I also got an epidural for the pain relief.” I was like, “No. I want the relief and I also want to be able to relax and see if that gets me to a 10.” They did place a second epidural. It helped. It took a while. It was basically the whole process restarting.

My doctor told me, “Hey, since you were just up for 2 hours with contractions on top of each other, how about you try to rest? I’ll check on how you guys are doing in a little bit.” He popped in a few minutes later and asked to check me. I was like, “Yes.” He lifted up the covers and my baby’s hair was there in 30 minutes.

Meagan: What? You were crowning?

Caitlin: Yes!

Meagan: Oh my gosh.

Caitlin: I went from 2 hours at a 9. They gave me the second epidural and then within 30 minutes, they went to check and they didn’t have to check anything because the baby was there. It’s funny because we had just reset the room to be dark, comfortable, rest, and it was like, “Nope. Open the blinds. Get ready to go.” It was a crazy turnaround. My husband and I didn’t believe it when he said it. We were like, “Hair? Already? We just sat here for 2 hours at a 9.”

I never even got measured. Do they measure at a 10?

Meagan: I mean, they can go in and be like, “You’re complete.” Yeah.

Caitlin: Right. Right. It went very fast. I was shocked by that. I pushed for 15 minutes and baby was born. It was smooth sailing from then on out. It was 24 hours total. Everybody’s biggest threat to me was, “It’s going to take forever. You’re going to be there forever. You’re going to be doing this forever.” It was 24 hours from start to finish. Baby being born. Baby being healthy. Me getting the VBAC. Me getting the golden hour because with my first, he was straight to the NICU. I didn’t get to hold him or anything and I really wanted that. It was super redemptive for me and just super special that my husband and I were in the same room after the baby was born because he went to the NICU with our first.

Having the VBAC made me so proud and confident in myself and any future births that I’m blessed with. Now I know. I’m an advocate and other moms can put their foot down for themselves. You have control of what happens to you as you bring a baby into this world. I don’t think I knew that before being in the thick of it that I actually did get to make the calls.

Meagan: Yes.

Caitlin: Yeah. All of these medical things that came up like the high blood pressure and how easy I could have been like, “Okay yeah, whatever you say,” but just because of things that come up in pregnancy, it doesn’t mean that you need to get straight to a surgery room.

Meagan: I mean look at that. Your blood pressure did go back up to that high range and you didn’t just go in and have a C-section. You had a slowly induced VBAC. Did your original male provider ever come back to the scene? Did that provider catch baby?

Caitlin: He is the one who when I was stuck at the 9, he was in at that time.

Meagan: Okay.

Caitlin: He was there from being at 9 centimeters and he is the one who delivered my son. The other doctor came in to check on us after which was super sweet. She was incredible. But yes, he did come back for all of that. There was a sense of me being like, “Huh. This all worked out.”

Meagan: Look at that.

Caitlin: It all worked out. Would you look at that? It was interesting because he was very much like, “I knew you were determined.” I was like, “Okay, yeah. I was but you were trying to make me not be.”

Meagan: Yeah.

Caitlin: I don’t know. I do believe that he did incredible with my first birth and especially with a first-time mom with that scary of a situation happening. I just think that sometimes it’s what’s more comfortable. It makes me sad because if that was my first baby, I literally would have not ended up in the situation I was in. I just wonder how many moms get put in these positions and then have to make– don’t get to make the call because they don’t know they can make the call. They don’t know they are the ones who get to make the choice.

Meagan: Yeah, exactly. It goes back to the review where it says that this podcast is for people who have had a previous Cesarean but also for people who haven’t had a previous Cesarean and who haven’t had these experiences and who may not have that full education yet.

Caitlin: Right.

Meagan: I think this podcast is so great for people who want to learn what happens out there and what could happen and what your options are and how people advocate for themselves. I’m so grateful for the nursing staff.

Caitlin: Oh my gosh. They were so amazing. When we got moved to the other room after the baby was born, the nurse who was there when I signed my AMAs and stuff, the one who did all that with us, she came into the room and was clapping. She was like, “You did it!” Everybody was so on our team which was truly incredible. That meant everything for us.

Meagan: Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, go ahead.

Caitlin: Another thing just for new moms too who haven’t gone through it, the recovery is different. C-section moms are absolute heroes. They are tough as nails but also, the doctors were telling me, “You’re so young and you’ll bounce back so fast from a second section. It’s not that bad. You healed great the first time.” That’s all true. But the recovery was different because I didn’t have a major abdominal surgery.

Meagan: Yeah. Yes. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for sharing your stories. Thank you for advocating for yourself and being an example to others on how to advocate for themselves. We know with preeclampsia that it really can be an overnight serious thing but it doesn’t always mean that you have to just go and have a C-section. There are so many times where I see births where we have preeclampsia with really high blood pressures and proteins and all of the things. We go in for an induction and then it’s managed. The blood pressure is managed throughout the entire rest of the pregnancy so I don’t know. There’s that. I just want to say there is that.

Caitlin: There is.

Meagan: A lot of times, providers say, “Oh, your blood pressure is so high. Labor would be far too stressful,” but there are so many ways to help manage the blood pressure. We do know that sometimes there are medically emergent reasons to go in and have a C-section but it doesn’t always mean you have to. We have a preeclampsia blog. We are going to drop it in the show notes so if you want to learn more about preeclampsia and the risk factors and how to prevent it because there are ways that we can try to prevent them– getting our omega 3’s, calcium, choline, getting a good salt intake, getting really, really great rich foods, proteins, fruits, vegetables. The Brewer’s Diet is another amazing thing to check out. They have a whole preeclampsia section.

Definitely check these things out. If you also have had preeclampsia before like Caitlin, the risks of having it again are slightly higher just because we’ve had it and things like that so if you’ve had it before, definitely check this out even before getting pregnant. I think there is a lot of preparing to do before we get pregnant. Sometimes it happens no matter what efforts you’ve had. Maybe you’ve done all of the things. Sometimes it just happens and it’s out of our control.

Like Caitlin was just talking to me about this before, she doesn’t struggle with high blood pressure. It just comes during pregnancy.

Caitlin: Mhmm. Yeah. My hope is that in future pregnancies that I wouldn’t have high blood pressure again, but if I do, I just feel more equipped and more confident in how I want to manage that.

Meagan: Exactly.

Caitlin: Yeah. It’s hard because when you are being told things by medical providers who do know what they are saying in regard to some extent and you want to continue to be like, “I’m going to do what’s safest throughout my baby,” but my favorite question throughout my whole experience was, “If my baby is okay, if my blood pressure is lowering, then why are we making the decisions that we are making?” That’s the pillar that my husband and I lived on in those disagreement conversations.

Meagan: I wanted to point out before we go just piggybacking off of that that it is okay to ask questions. You can say, “Okay, but why?” or “What is the evidence on that?” or “What are the medical reasons you are suggesting for this or that?” You can ask questions, Women of Strength. That is advocating for yourself. Ask the questions so that you can make the final decision.

Caitlin: If they don’t have an answer, it’s probably because there isn’t an answer.

Meagan: Right? And/or if there is some gaslighting happening, that probably means there is also not an answer but they are trying to create an answer and make you feel scared or like you would be stupid to make that choice.

Caitlin: Mhmm. Mhmm.

I really wish all nurses were like the ones we had. We had awesome nurses.

Meagan: They sound incredible, absolutely incredible.

Caitlin: They were.

Meagan: Shoutout to them. Happy birthday again. Congratulations.

Caitlin: Thank you so much. Thank you.

Meagan: We will talk to you later.

Caitlin: Thank you.

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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