3. Navigating Challenges (including Estrangement) with Family of Origin during the Holiday Season

There's Nothing Wrong With You

This episode includes a conversation between TNWY’s host, Samantha Cooper, and their guest, Lindsay Tauscher, about navigating challenges with one’s "family of origin" (a term that refers to the family in which you were raised) during the holiday season, including estrangement, conflict, and boundaries. Sam interviews Lindsay, and both share their personal stories and experiences with parental estrangement. The conversation includes some guidance, support, and practical suggestions for listeners for navigating family challenges during the Holidays (and more generally).

Lindsay (she/they) is a trauma-informed Somatic Resilience Coach and one of Sam’s dearest friends. Lindsay is a coach who works with queer, gender-expansive, and neurodivergent leaders and visionaries. Throughout this conversation, they talk about the importance of authenticity in connecting with others and connecting with yourself during this (sometimes) challenging season.

In the second (solo) segment of this episode, Sam 1) briefly covers some research about family estrangement experiences and stats, and 2) offers practical suggestions for how to make things easier for yourself at this time of year, whether or not you are actively in a relationship with your family of origin, and whether or not you are spending time with them during the holiday season.

Episode timestamp guide:

00:00-03:37: Intro to episode topics, structure, & guest bio (with a content note)

PART 1: INTERVIEW & CONVERSATION

03:38-07:15: Sam and Lindsay kick off the conversation

07:16-10:28: Discussion of personal stories of family estrangement; intersections with the Holidays; and the unexpected positive, generative results of estrangement.

23:20-40:24: Ways “tradition” and “obligation” can be used to disguise and protect troubling patterns within family systems; disrupting unhealthy patterns with boundaries; differentiating between rules and boundaries, and natural consequences and punishments.

PART 2: SOLO SEGMENT w/SAM

48:18: Sam discusses some research about family estrangement stats and experiences (note that the Pillemer survey is part of a family reconciliation project at Cornell University).

53:30: Practical suggestions for how to care for yourself during the Holidays if you have a challenging relationship with your family of origin and spend the Holidays with them.

58:03: Practical suggestions for how to care for yourself during the Holidays if you are not spending time with the family of origin (due to estrangement or otherwise).

Episode Resources:

• 8 things not to say to someone estranged from a parent: What people with great or good-enough parents need to know about listening.
• Pillemer: Family estrangement a problem ‘hiding in plain sight’ (Cornell Chronicle)
• Fault Lines by Karl Pillemer (associated with the Cornell Family Reconciliation Project)

Follow Sam (host):

unconventionalmindscoaching.com

Instagram @unconventionalmindsadhd | twitter @neuroresilient

Follow Lindsay (guest):

workwithlindsay.com | Instagram: @workwithlindsay | Facebook

*Produced by KP Creative Media