4. How Chosen Family can be a source of enrichment and an act of resistance

There's Nothing Wrong With You

This episode includes a conversation between TNWWY’s host, Samantha Cooper, and their guest, Lindsay Tauscher, on the concept of Chosen Family, which is a term used to describe close, committed relationships that are not based on biological or legal (“bio-legal”) ties. In this discussion, they explain ways that Chosen Family can provide support and enrichment that may not be available from or with your “nuclear family” or “family of origin.”

Sam and Lindsay share how they met and became close friends, and how their relationship exemplifies the value of Chosen Family. They also talk about how Chosen Family can be a subversive force against norms and expectations associated with the nuclear family.

“...a chosen family is made up of people who have intentionally chosen to embrace, nurture, love, and support each other regardless of blood or marriage.” - Bahiyyah Maroon, Ph.D.

The term Chosen Family is often used in queer communities to refer to the people who have intentionally chosen to support and love each other, regardless of bio-legal ties (such as biological relation, adoption, and marriage) This term originated during the climax of the AIDS crisis in the United States when many queer people could not rely on their families of origin for even the most basic forms of support. Today, Chosen Family is still a significant part of queer culture, as it provides a sense of support and community for those who may not have that depth of connection with their families of origin.

Relevant episode timestamps:

1:47 - Chosen Family: The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Relationships Outside of Family of Origin

5:26 - The History and origins of "Chosen Family"

9:31 - Chosen Family structure

15:42 - The Nuclear Family Structure: A History

22:12 - The Negative Impact of the Nuclear Family on Individual and Community Wellbeing

28:26 - The Importance of Community Rituals and Practices

31:13 - The Relationship Between Chosen Family and Family of Origin

38:55 - The Benefits of Non-Monogamy for Building Stronger Relationships

42:25 - How to Celebrate the Holidays as a Non-Monogamous or Polyamorous Person

49:06 – Incorporating Your Chosen Family into Holidays AND throughout the rest of the year

51:56 - Lindsay and Sam wrap up a conversation – you are not alone

Episode Resources:

Families we Choose: Lesbians, Gays, Kinship by Kath Weston: https://a.co/d/1pDwBWD

“We Just Take Care of Each Other”: Navigating ‘Chosen Family’ in the context of Health, Illness, and the Mutual Provisions of Care amongst Queer and Transgender Adults: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33050069/

Homelessness Among LGBT Adults in the US: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/lgbt-homelessness-us/

What Chosen Family means, and how to build your own: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/what-is-resilience

Follow Lindsay:

Lindsay Tauscher, Somatic Resilience Coach: https://workwithlindsay.com/

Instagram: @workwithlindsay

Facebook: @workwithlindsay

Follow Sam:

Sam’s coaching practice, Unconventional Minds Coaching: unconventionalmindscoaching.com

Instagram @unconventionalmindsadhd

Twitter @neuroresilient

You can view the entire transcript of the episode here.

*Produced by KP Creative Media