Marriage 911: Verbal Abuse

Sex, Love & Elephants with Dr. Cheryl

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Marriage 911! What's your emergency?

So, you’ve just had a flooded argument… Even if you didn't resort to overt verbal abuse like yelling, swearing, or being especially cruel, you know that you said irrational things. But here’s the truth: It's not entirely your fault. When we’re dysregulated, we’re not rational.

On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you about verbal abuse. Verbal abuse has the power to make us spiral—we go down the dark rabbit hole and end up rehashing every old wound, never seeming to get out of that same repeating argument. It isn’t always obvious but it does occur way too often—and it can absolutely destroy your relationship.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Verbal abuse can be bickering, criticizing and nitpicking, and using controlling language (04:09)
• Giving your partner the silent treatment or a severe lack of communication can also feel abusive (04:37)
• Learning to self regulate our emotions is one of the most important things we can do for our relationships (06:58)
• Be kind to your friend… And if you snap, apologize! (07:38)

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!

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