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Are you a perfectionist + people pleaser... without REALISING it? ft. Therapist, Nikki Heyder
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Nikki Heyder is a somatic psychotherapist, coach, and therapeutic Yoga teacher who helps clients overcome issues like low self worth, addictive tendencies, unresolved trauma, stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. She joins me today to riff on perfectionism, shame, and the importance of embracing all parts of ourselves.
We discuss how perfectionism is driven by shame, a fear of failure, chaos, conflict, or the fear of being exposed or vulnerable. We explore the lesser-known ways that perfectionism can show up, such as people-pleasing and suppressing certain emotions. We also dive into the importance of accepting and owning all aspects of ourselves, practicing self-compassion, and using curiosity to learn and grow. Plus the impact of perfectionism and people-pleasing on our lives.
We explore the role of our nervous system in triggering these behaviors and how to navigate them with compassion and self-acceptance. We also discuss the importance of being true to ourselves and living a life aligned with our values.
03:22
The real ROOT cause underneath perfectionism
09:30
The sneakier and lesser-known ways perfectionism can show up, even in women who are externally confident, extroverted and self-sufficient
11:02
Amy shares about how suppressing "anger" led her to nervous system dysregulation and how reclaiming "healthy anger" helped her become more unapologetic and less perfectionistic
13:41
Why self-compassion and acceptance is essential to not letting perfectionism and people pleasing derail your life or mental health
19:38
Why curiosity, compassion and self-awareness and the secret sauces of healing perfectionism
26:57
How to free yourself from the "rules" and pressures of society
36:46
What's the impact on our nervous system?
41:51
Reparenting your inner child. How to give your triggers compassion, without letting your "stories" and limiting beliefs dictate how you react next.
57:50
How to deal with people talking about, criticising or misunderstanding you if you're a people pleaser and scared of being judged
01:00:55
Why getting free from fear, changing your beliefs and no longer being controlled by people's opinions of you... is a DECISION
01:03:00
How can you start to reinvent your life? Is it a lot of small moves or big, bold moves? We discuss why different times in your life require one or the other.
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CONNECT WITH AMY...
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CONNECT WITH NIKKI…
Nikki's first book entitled 'Good Enough' is due to be released in October 2024.
👉Instagram: @nikki.heyder
👉Website: www.the-soul-institute.com
126 episodes
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