Want to Be Happy? Give Yourself Reasons to Admire Yourself

The Art of Manliness

Happiness and depression can feel like slippery and befuddling things. We can do the things we've been told will make us happy, while still not feeling satisfied. Or, on paper, our lives can look great, yet we feel depressed. And the advice that's out there about these states doesn't always seem to correspond to our lived experience.

Ryan Bush has created a new map he thinks can help us make better sense of life. Ryan is a systems designer with a long-standing interest in psychology and philosophy, the founder of Designing the Mind, a self-development organization, and an author. His latest book is Become Who You Are: A New Theory of Self-Esteem, Human Greatness, and the Opposite of Depression. Today on the show, Ryan explains the two dimensions along which we usually plot our happiness, and what he thinks is the missing third dimension: virtue or admirability. Ryan then unpacks his "virtue self-signaling theory" which he thinks can heighten happiness and reduce depression, and which is premised on the idea that if you want to live a flourishing life, you have to give yourself reasons to admire yourself. I really think this is a valuable idea that everyone can get something from and recommend listening through.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Full and Brief Strengths Tests
• AoM Podcast #249: The Benefits of Pride
• AoM Article: The 11 Cognitive Distortions That Are Making You a Miserable SOB
• Mind Over Mood by Dennis Greenberger
• Feeling Good by David Burns

Connect With Ryan Bush

• Designing the Mind website